


Silent Midorijima

by PinkROmantic



Series: Silent Midorijima [1]
Category: DRAMAtical Murder, Silent Hill
Genre: Alternate Universe - Silent Hill Fusion, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Genocide, Multi, Multiple Endings, Nonbinary Character, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Horror, Shit is shrouded in mystery, Slow Build, Survival Horror, Tae is Boss, Unreliable POVs, Unresolved Romantic Tension, unintentional misgendering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-04
Updated: 2016-04-28
Packaged: 2018-01-25 19:06:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 31
Words: 161,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1659155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkROmantic/pseuds/PinkROmantic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ten months have passed since Toue's complete takeover on Midorijima.<br/>One day Aoba wakes up in a friend's home without memory of the past months... meanwhile a white silent hell has been unleashed on the island, threatening the lives of those who survived with him.<br/>In the search for the memories he lost, he'll realize that he had very good reasons to forget everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Welcome Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap, you probably noticed that I changed the fanfic's title, so... there's that. I should have stayed with the name of the original AU I made up months ago instead or trying to sound deep and edgy, because that didn't work. I hope I did the right thing.
> 
>  
> 
> Chances are that you're looking for freaky sex scenes, because if that's the case, you're probably going to find them but you will be disappointed. I'm not into the incredibly creepy sex thing.

Without a shadow of a doubt he saw a person standing in the middle of the foggy street. Looking from the window, sitting over the sweaty mattress, he could clearly see the shape of something white and black standing out there, as if its only purpose was just to be noticed by him and no one else. If truth be told, his mind has been dulled for days —maybe weeks— because of drowsiness and fever, but something inside his head was telling him that this wasn't a mere illusion.

The figure was still there, out in the cold morning-like whiteness of the mist; he couldn’t distinguish the form of its eyes, but he could sense a sharp stare directed to him as his face hid behind the damp glass of the window. His heart was pounding with such a strange heaviness. The black stare had some sort of magnetic power working on him, and he felt tempted to slide the window’s crystal and simply drop from there to cross the street and go to that mysterious white character that was silently calling for him. He could have achieved that if only he had the condition to do it. His whole body was just as strong as a wet mass of noodles. Eventually he was forcefully tugged back into bed by his grandma, her angry voice shaking as if she just had the worst scare of her life.

The following days seemed mostly uneventful because his mind was always unfocused and it was hard to tell whether he was awake or asleep. He felt so heavy and weak. The only moments when he felt truly awake were the times when he knelt over bed just to look at the street from the window. The figure in white was still outside, standing alone. Waiting for him. Only for him. _But why him?_ The black eyes were kind and familiar. They'd wait. They’d wait for a while longer, he knew. But suddenly another voice called his name behind his back. Aoba. _Aoba? Yes, Aoba was a his name_.

It was normal to hear that mature friendly voice call him from time to time, hear it talk to him about this and that even if he didn’t talk back. That voice was always careful, he could tell. But this time something new and unexpected happened.

This time, his whole body violently shuddered and shrank in distress with a single unwelcome touch, as if something colder than ice slipped down his shoulder, making him cry. He was sent back to bed immediately. They should take care from committing mistakes like that again. He was put in bed and allowed to rest.

****

After what felt like an eternity, one day came in which he would lean against the permanently sealed window and realize that he wasn’t able to see the ghostly white figure anymore. It didn’t show up, or… it probably left for good. It left. It got tired of waiting.

In that moment he realized that he was lucid again, more lucid than he's been in such a long time; it was like the sudden self-awareness given by an effective alarm clock, leaving his mind with the certainty that there was a dream before the awakening, but any remembrance of what the dream was about was completely lost. That’s exactly how he felt.

It was so quiet outside, disturbingly quiet, and the light that filtered through the crystal window was so sober and colorless, it felt as if its presence had taken away all the brightness that the room should have had with any regular daylight.

He shifted under the smelly bed sheets, surprised of how feeble his limbs felt after such a prolonged slumber. His mind was trying to process everything that was surrounding him. For starters, this wasn’t his bedroom. It was Koujaku’s place, probably the guest room as far as he could tell. His grandma has been taking care of him for a while. He had the impression that Koujaku had also taken care of him, however he couldn’t recall him much.

 _And_ _Ren?_

He looked from one corner to another in the cramped room, searching for a small ball of blue fur, or at least the bag where we usually kept the small Allmate dog in. He shifted from bed when he spotted a box about the right size at the other side of the room. The tiny Allmate was probably inside it. He should be.

Silently he cursed his legs, they gave up his weight almost instantly after he slipped out the bed. For how long was he inside bed? He started to wheeze loudly, forcing his arms to do most of the work. It was ridiculously hard. He was already breaking on sweat and he barely moved 3 feet away from bed. It wasn’t until he was halfway when his legs started to kick again and finally cooperated to help him crawl on the cold floor. He didn’t remember the last time he had cursed so much. Of course, by the time he reached to the cardboard box, his grandma opened the door, caught him on the act and yelled at him, not in anger, but heavily distressed. Ren wasn’t inside the box.

Since his lucidity was now much more apparent, his grandma showed a strange kind of relief when his weakened voice asked her what was going on.

She was different from what he last remembered of her. Her face was paler and the bags under her eyes were darker, her pale pink long hair wasn’t as carefully kept as it used to be, also her voice wasn’t as strong and loud as before. He was dumbfounded with how many things he failed to notice for all the time he spent under her care and he had a hard time picking up the right questions for the current situation they were in; first off, why were they living in Koujaku’s apartment right now?

The first thing she pointed out was the fog outside his window. She explained that a lot of people started to go missing ever since the white fog made its appearance, and recently, strange creatures started to roam all over the island, attacking people indiscriminately. When Tae, his grandmother, used the term ‘strange creatures’, he decided to not say anything against it. His grandma has never been a superstitious person, and she’d never make such a mistake as to call something she couldn’t explain as ‘strange creature’, unless it truly came to that.

She further explained the sequence of events prior this fog, terrible things that made his heart drop to his stomach. All four Districts of Midorijima were taken over by Toue’s company many months ago. The takeover obliterated most of the resistance left. People were kidnapped, brutalized, brainwashed, and those who managed to escape and hide have been living with utmost precautions and short in resources. However, just a month ago, the mysterious fog began to spread all over the island, and most of electric devices started to fail, digital media stopped working and Platinum Jail’s influence over people’s minds started to weaken. Even though the mass brainwashing was wearing off, now people were trapped and terrified of what came with the fog. Some civilian deaths were confirmed, she mentioned, although they were little in comparison to the disappearances. To this day, it was still unknown what happened to Toue, or if this was even his doing.

With all this new information filling him, he began to wordlessly wonder why did he remain inside bed for months, Tae placed her hand on his, it seemed like she was about to say something, but the space between her eyebrows furrowed further, so she simply kept quiet. She couldn’t say it. He also feared of what she was going to say, so he knew he’d better be ready to assume the worst.

He shook his head and said: “I know already. I’ll be okay, Granny”, although both knew he was lying. He didn’t want to distress her anymore and he didn’t want to hear about it. Not yet. For the first time, he was too afraid to know.

After feeding him with canned food—it was truly saddening to have her doing this, since she never entertained the thought of ever eating straight from a can back at home—, she ordered him to start stretching his legs if he was so willing to help around as soon as possible. Of course he intended to make himself useful in order to compensate the time he's been in bed now that he was mentally capable, but inside his mind there were several things he wanted to do besides being helpful to his granny.

First of all, he wanted to find Ren, or at least figure out what happened to him. Since most of digital devices were practically useless and his own Coil was missing, all he could do was to try and ask about Ren to anyone who’d know. Granted all Allmates might have exhausted their energy by now, it shouldn’t surprise him that the small dog was laying lifeless somewhere, that is if somehow the body was still intact. Maybe Koujaku would know something.

That was a plan. That’s the only plan he could entertain. Besides, he missed Koujaku. He missed Beni the members of Beni-Shigure… He missed Mizuki and Dry Juice…

… When was it the last time he saw Mizuki though?

Aoba Seragaki ran his shaky hands over his face while looking at his own reflection at the only mirror in the room, then brushed his unkempt blue hair, flinching slightly at the blunt feeling of running his fingers over the sensitive strands of his hair, moreover he hated the greasy heavy feeling on his hair, knowing that due his past circumstances they were unable to wash it properly for a while. Overall, he looked like a completely changed man, although he couldn’t tell for sure how much did he change internally. Removing the sweaty shirt he could appreciate the ribs showing beneath his almost transparent skin, and he cringed at the image.

Luckily enough, he wasn’t atrophied, his grandma explained she made sure to give him the necessary treatment to ensure that his body wouldn’t suffer the worst, yet his whole body was so skinny and pale it was sickening. It was already impressive that he could move his limbs despite everything. He spent several quiet minutes stretching and warming up his arms and legs just as his grandma told him to, getting tired rather fast and growing anxious for the lack of external sounds. It was so quiet outside that it felt unnatural. 

He walked at a slow painful pace around the whole room, looking at the belongings his grandma stuffed in unopened boxes all over the place. He felt a deep sting of shame while looking at the large amount of spare bed sheets inside the small closet, considering that he’s been mentally crippled for months… It still gave him a surreal feeling, because part of him couldn't completely believe that he's been sick and useless for such a long time. He needed to fill in the gaps to understand his situation a little better.

Finally, he found clothes that belonged to him for sure —although, just like he feared, Ren wasn’t anywhere inside the boxes he picked in, and his granny wouldn’t be as inconsiderate as to leave the Allmate abandoned if she knew how much it meant for him—. There were like only two different tees, a pair of blue pants, a dark purple hoodie, socks and some underwear, and he could guess at the entrance he’d find the footwear he needed. Before getting those clothes on he needed to take a bath since he stunk really bad and his skin felt so dry… but water was probably be rationed, if things were just as bad as his grandma explained. He guessed he’d be able to wait for a decent bath just for a bit longer; all he needed was a quick splash on his face and he’d be ready to help out.

It was uncomfortable to be so dirty and wear relatively clean clothes at the same time, but it was better this way rather than walking around the apartment only with the thin filthy underwear he might’ve worn for days already. Also, it was almost as if he grew unaccustomed to be completely dressed, clothes brought him such a heavy warm feeling.

The apartment had some sort of eerie aura in it, even though it was daytime; because of the fog outside the sunlight was weak and it didn’t illuminate much of Koujaku’s apartment, taking away the familiar fresh air he remembered the few times he had visited. Koujaku was a very special friend after all, so it was almost disheartening to see the apartment so gray and unlike his owner… that is if his friend hadn’t changed as much as he began to fear.

His legs were losing their numbness relatively fast as he explored the cramped space inside Koujaku’s place. He could tell that Koujaku didn’t use his own bed anymore, as half of it was taken over by all kinds of supplies and the other half had a very familiar-looking blanket that could only belong to his grandma. Knowing Koujaku’s chivalrous nature, he was probably sleeping on the soft cushioned chair, which didn’t seem to be the most ideal place to take a nap. Poor guy.

Tae didn’t waste any time to make him follow her during her chores, so he’d learn what to do and how to move around.

Soon he discovered that the whole residential building was converted into a haven for survivors of Toue’s takeover. The members of the Rib Team, Beni-Shigure, were the ones in charge of keeping the residents safe from any sort of outside dangers. The place wasn’t too big, and there were like a little more than forty people living inside the building, so the air felt a little too dense. There were whole families sharing apartments and the few children who were saved didn’t have much space to play. Aoba felt his heart shrink a little more when he figured none of the children looked familiar to him at all. He was told Haga-san, his former boss at the junk shop, was living among the survivors. He wondered how many other people he knew would be either dead or missing.

Tae’s job was mainly to take care of the medical supplies and to tend any injured or sick people. Other elders were put on charge of dividing the food and water rations, as well other necessary supplies. Koujaku, as well as the remaining members of Beni-Shigure, they offered themselves to do the most risky of jobs, which basically consisted on patrolling the area and doing recons. Of course, each person was expected to contribute in one way or another, depending on how capable they were, but straying too far from the residential building was considered too dangerous, as Tae kept explaining to her grandson.

He still couldn’t fully grasp the idea of strange creatures running around in the fog. Although he couldn’t deny it was disquieting to observe it from the windows of the building, it was so thick anything could be hiding behind it and he’d never know.

When his grandma finished touring him around the whole building, he observed her revising the broken ankle of a teenage girl. Before noticing their presence, Aoba was greeted by some familiar faces, two guys from the Beni-Shigure.

“I will assume you two finished your watch already,” said Tae in a monotone calm voice, interrupting both young men. They clumsily greeted Tae in return, “the recon groups are taking their damn time to return, you shouldn’t let your guard down.”

“Yes, Tae-san. Sorry about that. We were also worried about Aoba, so…”

“I’m okay,” he replied quickly, surprised of how easily the words formed in his dry mouth, “thank you, guys.”

“Good to see you back from the dead, Aoba… Take care from now and on, okay?” said the taller one, smiling almost sadly, Tae gave them a stern look and shook her head lightly. She walked past them and Aoba followed, unable to rid of the unsettling feeling that he was pitied more than he was missed.

He must have been a burden when he was sick, he knew that.

As he walked up the stairs way back to the fifth floor, where Koujaku’s apartment was, he realized it was too much to take in. All the things he didn’t know yet, the freezing grip of uncertainty, the void left by months of mental stupor… there was little he could recall of what happened before everything went to hell. Besides, Ren was out there, abandoned somewhere for months. The thought made his hands sweat.

He sat down on one step, tired and with shoulders shaking slightly. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Tae stopped when she looked back at him.

It must be tough for her watch her grandson like this. But needless to say, he was the one who was having it tougher between them.

“Granny”, he called with hoarse voice, still shaking with no self-control, “it’ll keep getting worse, won’t it?”

“… Aoba, let’s go back.”

He knew she’d take it upon herself if he showed instability now, but he couldn’t help himself. It was hard and he needed more time. Getting back on his feet again, he kept on walking up along his granny. He almost felt like a child again, confused, pained and angry. _He was an adult man, for god’s sake!_ Why was he behaving like this?

What time of the day was already? It was hard to tell with the unchanging gray light. He ate with Tae their rations of canned food. He felt too overwhelmed and depressed to heave at the nasty canned corn. He didn’t feel hungry. His Granny wasn’t too happy about it either, but her distress was different from his. Neither knew how to talk about it. It was like a silent mutual agreement to not discuss it yet. On the other hand, she mentioned that it was strange that the recon groups didn’t return yet. Everyone living in the building depended on their progresses.

Aoba dropped the spoon to eat the canned peas, he started to feel lightheaded and said he needed to lie down. Before he could go back to the stinky bed, Tae handed him a small container with white pills, something she was keeping inside her apron. It didn’t seem to be the same medication he used to take not long ago, she probably thought a different mix would be better for him… He swallowed a pill without questioning and took a quick sip of water.

Lying down didn’t make it any easier though. Time seemed to pass at a painfully slow pace and the pressure on his head didn’t lessen much. The weak light of the day was fading out, and the white of the room was gaining a sickly brown and gray. Within his haze he could have sworn that he heard his stomach growl longingly, but it really didn’t make sense because he wasn't feeling ill at all. It was strange, because he was sure it sounded a lot like a stomach growl.

Suddenly the silence ceased. The voices from the people living beneath this floor started to ramble in panic, but he remained strangely calm. It just didn’t feel real. Slowly he sat straight on the mattress. For a second he felt a chill pierce right through him like a needle, and out of the corner of his eye he saw the white figure standing just outside the window.

His heart jumped as he turned his face to the window. The white wasn’t there at all. It couldn’t have, —he was currently on the fifth floor, so …—when he  neared the window once again, there was only pitch black and mist. He couldn’t even tell where the street was, but there was a coolness running down his neck as he stared into nothingness. He could feel it was still there, watching. But … why was he even so sure that there was one white figure watching him from the darkness right there?

He decided to get off the mattress and walk towards the kitchen. It was night already, and candles were lit for the absence of electric light, since sources of energy were saved for more important needs, Granny told him. He thought he’d have a glass of water, but he was startled by a loud thumping noise out of the door, his Granny seemed racy when she violently opened the door. With the dim lighting of the candles it was hard to see, but when she received two men at the door, the first thing that caught his eye was the color red.

Red. It was bright red, followed by a metallic stench. For a second, red was the only thing his eyes could process.

“Aoba! Aoba, come here! Quickly!”, she called, but his knees were weak like warm butter. It was so much red, he felt as if his stomach was turning inside out. The mess of red was stinking and leaking. He recalled this kind of red. It was completely covering the unconscious half-dressed man and everything else was black. It was only red and black.

“No… ”, his dry voice muttered, hands trembling. “Koujaku…”

The man who had Koujaku’s right arm around his neck looked back at Aoba while Tae was checking up on the red-bathed body for any sort of wound. Koujaku was only wearing pants and a _sarashi_ on his upper half, and he seemed to also be wrapped by several thin threads of black… they looked like hair.

“That’s not his blood and he didn’t suffer any significant damage”, said the man, although relieving some worries he sounded extremely panicked, “but he isn't responding! I think he’s entered in shock! We brought him back here as soon as we could!”

Aoba remained taken aback, unable to do anything but watch in horror the state of his childhood friend. Besides that, there was another man he knew perfectly well right now in at the entrance. Any words or movements failed to manifest through him.

Tae placed her wrinkly hands on Koujaku’s face, wiping off some of the blood and hair to look at him clearly, his eyes were open but the held a blank stare, “What the heck did he even find this time?”, she asked in a surprisingly cool voice.

“I- I don’t know! We didn’t see anything when we found him, Tae-san…!”, replied the young man, fastening his grip on Koujaku’s arm tighter since he was slippery with the blood.

“Just hand him over, you’ll make a mess”, she grunted, taking the limp left arm of Koujaku, not caring about the blood staining her clothes. She looked back at her grandson and gave him an exasperated huff, “Aoba, don’t you just stand there like a statue, help me get him to the bathtub, now!”

But the other man refused to let her carry Koujaku. “Tae-san, just let me do this for you, alright?” She groaned at the young man and stared back at Aoba, nodding at him; _well he wanted to make himself useful, didn’t he?_ Aoba hesitantly took the left arm of the bloodied Koujaku. “Come on, let’s get this dumbass to the bathroom.”

He gave another good look at the other man, he already knew it was Mizuki, he could only tell by hearing his voice, but it felt so awkward, so surreal. Everything flashed back at him in one second.

He still could hear Mizuki’s pleas for help inside his mind. He remembered what he did, how he broke this man, and yet…

“… Welcome back, Aoba”, he muttered while not looking at him. Mizuki was well. _Not thanks to him_. Aoba didn’t answer. Didn’t know how.

When they entered the bathroom, Tae had the supplies inside the bathtub removed and they carefully put him inside, just as she ordered them to. Aoba had to cringe a little: his shirt was stained with red, but now with better lighting, took a better look at Koujaku. He seemed like someone taken out of a dramatic murder scene, completely drenched in blood, except he didn’t seem to be wounded anywhere.

Tae moved in right away, both Aoba and Mizuki standing aside to let her do her thing. Koujaku was so unresponsive it was scary, but he was breathing. However, tension rose between the two other men as they awkwardly avoided each other’s stares, mostly because Aoba felt so unbearably guilty for what happened. The last time he ever talked to Mizuki, he was unable to save him and accidentally caused him irreversible damage… or at least he thought he did. But even so, he didn’t have the courage to look at him in the eye… What could he even do at this point? Apologize? Even if that was possible, it wouldn’t undo what Mizuki had to go through.

Yet… he was missing something. Aoba was missing something and couldn’t remember what it was _._

“You idiots better stop staring at each other and start helping me out, I look like I just butchered someone”, Tae yelled at them, she already had a bucket full of water, ready to use with a pair of sponges.

“Yeah, sorry!”

Mizuki actively helped Tae when washing off the insane amounts of blood covering Koujaku. They also had to deal with the disturbing long black strands of hair that were entangled around his limbs, they were obviously not from him. Aoba had mostly just watched in daze, more surprised than scared. He made it clear that right now he was too incompetent to even start helping them.

Even though the whole bucket was used up, and some of the red was washed from his shoulders to his stomach Koujaku was still far from clean. At that moment, Aoba observed unknown tattoo patterns on his friend’s right arm now that it wasn’t so bloodied anymore; it was actually the first time he could observe all the tattoos he always hid underneath his clothes, and also the great amount of tiny and big scars, none of them recent…

At least Koujaku seemed to recover some degree of awareness, as his darkened eyes looked back at Aoba as if they caught him staring his battered body.

“Aoba, you stay here with him while I bring more water to clean up this mess!” she took the bucket and briefly one of her blood-stained hands touched his shoulder in silent encouragement. Koujaku was very important for her too, he remembered.

“I-I’ll go with you, Tae-san.” Mizuki followed, not before giving another uncomfortable glance at Aoba, who leaned next to the bloodied bathtub with Koujaku inside.

There was so much going on, and he felt his brain was going to turn itself off instead of bearing with this. It was easier to be helpless and let it happen, but right now he couldn’t do that. Somehow, he just couldn’t. He carefully reached out for Koujaku’s scarred hand, to give him something real to touch. Koujaku’s hand was cold.

Aoba tensed up and tried to move his mouth, his eyes were struggling to stare back at the reddened passive eyes, unable to tell if they recognized him or not. He tried to smile, but his face felt sore for some reason. He could only wear a stiff expression on his mouth.

This world was dark and confusing, and it was hard to smile.

“… Hey, it’s me”, he softly whispered at the bloodied man. Koujaku lifted his face just a little, as if understanding now what was in front of him. His eyes were filled with something like relief.

His thin crimson lips were trembling, and Aoba could tell they were trying to smile. His mouth moved yet words couldn’t come out, although Aoba knew right away what he was trying to say. He tightened his hold around Koujaku’s hand, nodding once. His hand was still cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And, as you may have noticed, I made some slight changes on _certain_ sentences, and they might seem minimal but I'm sure they will help some people understand better the direction of this story.
> 
>  
> 
> The art is, of course, made by me and you can see it [right here](http://pinkromantic.tumblr.com/post/87799893954/my-first-illustration-to-the-first-chapter-of-to). Also, feel free to check my artblog if you wish.  
> Although I'm not establishing any ships yet, I want to give each character their fair share of relationship development.


	2. Gray Skin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops, second chapter came early! I have like seven chapters already written and they're all going through some heavy editing, so I'd like to make this fanfic a weekly-update thing, otherwise I end up rushing things up and they will make me feel bad when I post them because I usually make a lot of mistakes I don't notice until last minute. Anyways, thanks a lot for your attention!

Aoba wanted to ask about Koujaku since he’s been obviously the closest to Granny until now, if not Mizuki —she had explained that she took the iniciative to get Mizuki out of the hospital before Midorijima went to hell, so he was now _indebted_ to her—. Koujaku was still the head of Beni-Shigure and even managed to save some people after the takeover, but Granny added that the man would sometimes overexert himself.

" _This hell has gotten under everyone’s skin and there are still things out there we shouldn’t attempt to fight; he didn't learn on the first or the second time, and I don't think that he'll learn even after this._ " she said. The more he thought about it, the more he felt like this was something out of a horror movie, but this was infinitely more terrifying. Whatever Koujaku had to face while he was out, it didn’t have an explanation yet.

And the blood. Aoba couldn't explain the blood or the hair. What did Koujaku do and why did he end up like that were simply questions nobody wanted to ask or answer. The existence of _strange creatures_ wasn't now such a wild explanation to the dangers yet unknown to everyone...

It’s been almost half a day since Koujaku arrived in that state. He was cleaned as best as possible and put in bed to rest. Mizuki kept returning to the apartment every couple of hours to check on Koujaku, and not once he stopped to talk with Aoba. As a matter of fact, he seemed to avoid him every time. Mizuki’s face sure had seen better days, but he looked considerably better than many people he’s met inside the building so far… however, there was _that white bandage_ around his neck.

Also, Tae had been terribly busy because Koujaku wasn’t the only one who came back in that dreadful state. Aoba heard that some people still haven’t returned back from the recon, and nobody knew what happened to them yet.

Feeling utterly useless, Aoba went out of the apartment after taking one of the white pills his grandma gave him, and then went walking within the tight dark hallways where trash and supplies were piling up, because not many adults liked to leave the apartment building. Only the half dozen of children and some teens were hanging out at the stairs of the building, reading manga to each other as a form of entertainment, but Aoba couldn’t make out what they were saying. They occasionally looked back at him, but they’d turn their eyes from him almost immediately. He looked outside the entrance of the building, the air was cool and sent chills through his skin, but he couldn’t see much farther than the other side of the street. Not a single soul was out there besides the guys from Beni-Shigure keeping watch on their surroundings.

He stepped outside just briefly, and the coolness washed over his body. He remembered foggy days in Midorijima, and nothing about this mist felt quite different from what he expected. He still couldn’t imagine such a thing as strange creatures. Couldn’t they be just Allmates from Toue or something like that? Sure, it wasn’t that hard to tell apart and Allmate from a living being, but everyone seemed so convinced they were creatures and not robots… also,  Granny said that digital devices stopped working. What else could it be then?

After he came back to the apartment, he didn’t find Koujaku in his bed. Where would he even go? Aoba went to the bathroom to take a piss, but before touching the doorknob, he heard a grunt coming from the inside. Grunting and gasping and low moaning; none of it required much imagination to figure out what was happening inside there. He decided to quietly get away from the door, deeply embarrassed.

Quickly he took his purple hoodie and went out again, he avoided going to the neighbors to ask to let him use the toilet. Perhaps it was merely his sense of personal shame, but he didn’t want to be more of an inconvenience. He already felt like a burden, he didn’t want to make it any worse. He went downstairs to the first floor and out to take care of his needs. The guys of Beni-Shigure were keeping the parameters safe, so there was no harm on going out just for one minute.

As before, the air was chilly outside, and there wasn’t any apparent danger in the mist, three guys were keeping a watch, each one with one object in hands to allow them defend themselves from any menace—crowbars, baseball bats and whatnot—. While they weren’t looking, he walked to the next corner of the building, a tight alley were the trash was overflowing, he decided to do it right there.

It was so cold and still. But he could have sworn that a breeze blew just behind his neck, the contact with his hair making him shiver and look back as reflex. There was white, only the thick white of the fog and nothing else.

The white absorbed the dark pavement of the streets, it engulfed everything. Yet he knew something white was what moved. The breeze moved something, like cloth and it looked like a skirt. Someone wearing white clothes was standing on the opposite side of the street, black eyes pierced through the fog and begged for attention.

It was so painfully uncomfortable and unappropiate, yet he still didn’t stop staring at those eyes without saying anything. He zipped it back into his pants and turned. He shrugged as if saying ‘what’s the problem?’. It was hard to tell, but they looked like a tall young woman with short black hair, but he wasn't completely sure about it. The expression in their black eyes was hard to read, and definitely something felt _off_ about them.

Her —their?— stare was giving him such a weird feeling inside. This wasn’t the first time they’ve seen each other, was it?

They slowly turned, and started to walk away from him. Wasn’t it supposed to be dangerous to walk alone in the fog? Shouldn’t the guys keeping watch try to stop her? It’s not like he was responsible for her, but still, it felt wrong to just let her this person be on their own. Before making up his mind he was already following her towards the other side of the block, almost as if he couldn’t help himself.

The white figure was hard to distinguish through the fog because of the white of their clothes, but at least her shoulder-length black hair and the sound of her steps weren’t absorbed by the disquieting fog on the street. Much to his surprise, she was moving fast.

“Oi!”, a voice from behind called out. “Wait, where are you going? Aoba-san!” It was one of the guys from Beni-Shigure, and he slowed down a bit, expecting the girl to stop her tracks as well. The man who called for him stopped just at his side and gave him a dire warning about not going out on his own.

“That person is wandering away without company”, he replied. “Didn’t you see them?”

The taller man furrowed his eyebrows and crossed his arms. “No. Are you sure it was that what you saw?”

“I’ve just seen a person stray into the fog, how come you didn’t you see them?”, Aoba sighed, to make himself clear, but as he could from the guy’s expression, somehow his statement didn’t seem believable enough.

“Well, I’m sorry but I haven’t seen a damn thing around here for hours. Also, it’s not okay for you to be out here. Come on, head back inside.” He put his hand on his shoulder, but Aoba quickly rejected the touch.

“What if they get in trouble? Isn’t it your job to keep people safe?” he blurted out, not thinking too much.

The guy just shrugged, “Oi, if there was someone who went out, I’d have noticed. Just… let me do my job, okay? I’ll keep an eye out in case I see this person.” The lie was so obvious Aoba felt insulted.  

For a second, Aoba feigned resignation, but it only took five seconds to slip away from this guy’s vigilance and run as fast as he could towards the fog. This was probably the most stupid decision he had made in a long time. He could even hear this guy’s steps frantically following him and the voice calling out on him. Aoba didn’t to go back. He didn’t know why. It was for the sake of a perfect stranger, wasn’t it? There’s no way he could describe the feeling when he met those black eyes, not like that love-at-first-sight nonsense, it was definitely different to that.

He finally gave a turn to the right. The guy from Beni-Shigure was still running after him. Aoba looked at his left, he saw the distinct black movement of her hair as she headed to the left again. He had no idea where was she going, and it didn’t make things any better when he didn’t quite recognize the buildings, even worse with such thick fog surrounding them. He couldn’t make out how tall they were so the mist gave them the illusion of being endless, and that was somewhat frightening.

It was like a labyrinth of snow-white murk and the only guide he had was the notion of following a girl with the most unintentional camouflage. Still, his feet wouldn’t stop moving. It was actually strange how light he felt considering that this was the first time in probably months he used his legs this much.

Aoba wasn’t even aware of how much he ran, but eventually, he watched the figure of the woman in white stop briefly, so he stopped as well, almost instantly. The black eyes looked back at him, but he stopped looking at her. They were at the broken iron gates of a wide place, a public school. And of course, he recognized it immediately.

He used to study here before dropping out during his high school days. Why did she make him follow to this place? And the guy who ran after him seemed to have lost track of him. Aoba grew a little worried. It was almost too convenient, but he didn’t want to go back just yet.

Hesitantly he walked towards the girl and called to her, but she started to walk away once again and she was faster than him.

The idea of going inside the ruined edifice wasn’t appealing at all; he didn’t have many fond memories from school. Back then he wasn’t either the smartest or the dumbest in class, but his unusual hair made him a target of harassment and terrible pranks…

While lost in thought, Aoba found himself looking around the school’s front yard, taking in the lifeless scenery developing as he approached the building. The girl actually went through the main entrance, whose glass doors were completely destroyed, yellow police tape all over the place. There were clear signs of armed conflict; the entrance was covered by broken glass, lockers down, scattered shoes and school belongings. They were all covered in a thick layer of dust. This was probably the result of the opposition against Toue’s takeover.

It’d be actually kind of stupid to go inside, but well, he made it this far, didn’t he? It’s not like he really wanted to humor his school memories, but right now he wanted to find that girl. Questions would come later. If only he had any by then. He just wanted to find the girl and be over with this.

“Where did you go…?”, he muttered, struggling with his footsteps through the messy hallway, he could have sworn she went right, but the place was barricaded with a mountain of desks and chairs, and the windows had taped with all kinds of paper for some reason. The left side of the hallway had a very gloomy feeling to it as well, and he knew he’d probably regret taking that way…

All the windows were paved with several layers of newspaper, thus filtering the already dull light of day. He walked at a slow pace, not wanting to make enough echo to make his brain believe he’d hear footsteps where there shouldn’t be; he watched enough horror movies to know how important was noise in situations like this. This wasn’t the moment to get scared.

He passed beside the teacher’s staff room, the place was completely vandalized, papers were scattered all over the floor and the desks were either broken or flipped over. This was far from what he remembered from the times he was called here. When he learned how to fight, it was more frequent to come here rather than the nursery from above.

A sound of shifting paper echoed on his side and he became alert once again. He moved on to search further, and when he turned to the left, he saw the woman in white going upstairs. It was getting darker, as if the paper layers covering the unbroken windows thickened. The air inside the school hallways would only become more sinister from this point and on, he knew. He picked up his pace.

Going upstairs, he kicked empty bags of snacks out of his way, a rancid smell of decomposed food becoming more noticeable. He tried calling her out: “Will you stop already? Why did you bring me here?”, but she kept on going upstairs. He couldn’t see her anymore, only hear her footsteps rushing up and somehow they sounded even heavier. He feared that she'd think he was some sort of creepy stalker, even if she was the reason why he came to this place; he knew girls's problems well enough. “Please stop running, I'm not gonna hurt you…!”

He must have followed her to the third level already, the last one there was, but when he finally made it to the door leading to the school’s roof, he discovered it was completely blocked by desks. She probably ran and hid herself somewhere in the third floor. The lack of light was unnerving him and he stopped hearing her footsteps for a while. He figured he needed to be quieter if he wanted to catch her. No, not to ‘catch’ her in the rough sense of the word, but probably just to gently stop her and then question her… but he was the idiot who started following her in the first place, so he couldn’t blame anyone but himself on this.

The hallways were darker, somewhat… dirtier. There was a horrible smell all over the place, like rotten vegetables and meat and shit. He almost had to hold his breath, as he looked inside the ruined classrooms. One of them had its entrance covered by a thin plastic curtain and he detected a gentle wind movement beneath it. _3-B_. He used to take classes here.

Vaguely he remembered when he was forced to stay out of the door when he arrived late to Miss Takatsuki's classes, mainly because he’d stay up all night…

... How could he even forget? He used to play Rhyme, a virtual game that allured the attention of problematic kids like himself. He played Rhyme and got awfully good at it. Not only that, he got into serious fights because of it, sometimes just fights unrelated to it as well. Once bullied by stupid kids, he learned to be the bully himself. Before and after dropping out of school, he did a lot of things he didn’t feel proud about. This was precisely the kind of memories that he wanted to avoid, and now they were all rushing back to him all at once… one of the few with whom he shared these memories was Ren.

Something was wrong about the classroom. The scent of decomposed food was very strong and it definitely came from the inside; it was hard to make out how it looked like because of the plastic… besides… there was some sort of soft buzzing noise coming from there as well, like a horde of flies. He felt pressure in his stomach, as if he was going to get sick.

Once he pushed the plastic aside, he realized the classroom was a lot darker than the rest of the hallway… but that wasn’t what disturbed him the most. The desks and chairs were obviously gone, but in their place, there was something like a wet mass of black pulp at the center of the room: the source of the rotten smell. Flies reacted to the noise he created, buzzing just slightly louder. The smell was dreadful, almost made him gag… it was certainly not just expired food. Without light, it was impossible to figure out what was that big mush amounted at the center of the classroom… but if he tried to look hard enough, he could see that something was leaking from the roof, dense and slow like slime…

He yelped as his body was roughly pushed to the side with such force that he fell on his backside. He was too distracted by the sinister dark mush from the room that he didn’t even notice the person who was inside.

“Wait, you…!” When he looked at the person sprinting towards the stairs, he realized it wasn’t wearing anything white. As a matter of fact, it was a man. From the brief seconds that he managed to look at him, the man wore black and grey and his hair was long and dark brown.

For a moment, Aoba’s nose perceived the scent of burnt woods.

What the hell was that for? Why did that asshole have to push him like that? Aoba got back on his feet, with his nerves on the edge and checked inside the classroom again.

Somehow he could look at what was inside more clearly. The dark mass that was splattered in the middle… he could see stiff fragments sticking out… his stomach shrunk at the sudden realization of what they seemed to be.

They looked like human legs and arms, bones, skin and even hair, crammed over the disgusting mass.

He wasn’t even sure anymore what was that smell anymore. Aoba decided to step back, and without realizing it, his back touched the windows of the hallway.

His mind wasn’t working fast. Was that a dead body? What happened to them? What was leaking from the roof? … His blood was running fast and his mouth was shaking. He felt he’d throw up anytime soon. He wanted to move his legs, but they failed to respond right away. Almost for a minute, he forgot completely about the girl in white he followed here in the first place.

He crouched and rubbed his face noticing how much he was sweating. Trying to remain calm, Aoba sighed and nodded to himself, knowing he’d better get out and go back to the residential building. Everyone would be sick worried over him. Promptly he pulled himself back together and rushed to the stairs…

However, he stopped abruptly before taking the first step down. Someone, _something_ else was there waiting for him.

A thing stood there on fours, at the corner of the half landing from the stairs, staring attentively at Aoba.

Its stooped frame was something resembling human, but also uncannily beast-like. Aoba’s heart started pumping violently as he met the yellowish light of its eyes, they looked so cold and animalistic…but it certainly wasn’t completely animal nor human. His whole body was paralyzed by fear. Aoba feared that any movement of his would tempt the thing to attack. Even now he had to remember the painful disbelief he bestowed upon his granny’s words when she warned him about the _strange creatures_ … because now he was completely certain that it was all true _and_ worse than he'd ever imagined.

He dragged one foot back, trying to move as discretely as possible, not taking his eyes from the terrifying creature for even one second. Even with the faint light he could take in some of its terrifying physical features, like how it had a perfectly human face from its forehead to its nose, but below it had a monstrous disfigured mouth with wretched sharp fangs, and its ears weren’t human either. The body of the creature had mostly human-like features, but its arms and legs were too long and they seemed blackened, as if they were infected with something like gangrene. It hadn’t any bodily hair, its pale gray skin clearly showed its dark veins and sharp bones.

Took another step back, _slowly, slowly_ … It didn’t seem to move from there, but Aoba didn’t have motives to believe it was safe to move abruptly as long as he was within that creature’s field of vision. He was sweating the whole time, praying that he’d be able to get away safely from it. He held his own breath, and he could listen to the monster grunt quietly with an unnerving animalistic manner, but it was more than enough to make him anxious. This was the instinctive fear of a small prey looking straight into its predator's eyes.

Finally, he felt completely sure he was out of sight and miraculously the beast didn’t seem to follow him. He needed to find another way out, maybe through the curricular activities building? … At the end of the hallway to the left there was a corridor that should take him there, if he remembered correctly. He walked fast, constantly looking back to make sure the beast wasn’t behind him. However, no matter how carefully he tried to walk, the place was so silent that even the slightest sound made by his steps were making him a paranoid.

As he advanced further, he noticed that the school’s condition was even worse than he previously observed from the outside. Some of the walls have crumbled, as if the whole building was bombarded with explosives. Even some parts of the floor on the hallways were falling apart, he took into account. At least someone had the decency of placing wooden boards to make it possible for others to walk over the holes, but whoever did that probably didn’t stay safe in the school…

His heart kept beating fast and hard the whole time. He could have sworn that he heard something like a growl ahead him, but he didn’t even dare looking into the classrooms. They were getting stronger as he kept walking to the stairs of the building.

Eventually, his eyes met them through the shadows, before reaching for the stairs. Three of them.

He couldn’t take it anymore, he needed to run now. Those faceless things moving towards him in a twitchy inhuman manner… gaping holes instead of mouths and distorted humanoid bodies with gray swollen skin… he couldn’t believe his eyes. Their clumsy wet tapping was becoming faster as they came closer. Aoba had to hurry up.

Finally, the stairs! He’d make it. He could feel his excited heart jumping out of his chest. He had to make it. There’s no way he wouldn’t make it. Or so he believed.

The next thing his eyes registered was an unnatural mouth with decaying teeth aiming to take a piece off his face. Aoba screamed as his weight was forced backwards and fell on the wooden board on the breached floor while he tried to contain the abominations from biting his face. They were too many and all of them at least as big as he was. Four, six, nine… They all had the same horrifying appearance and they were all tackling on him, he tried to keep them away with his arms, pushing and punching; when he felt their skin, it was ice-cold and slimy, it made him shudder.

He felt a hard bite on his right leg and instinctively he kicked back, but the number of them multiplied; he thought he’d die crushed. But suddenly he heard a loud crack on his back. It all happened too fast, and before his mind could process it, everything went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry if the pacing seems too slow(?) guys, but I seriously write all these things for a reason. Illustration made by me, you can look at it on full size [right here](http://pinkromantic.tumblr.com/post/87915102414/another-illustration-for-chapter-two-of-to-where). Thanks for reading!


	3. A Little Blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating every wednesday from now and on! Thanks a lot for reading :)

The noises were loud around him, a swelling pain was expanding under his back and his head. He could only hear hoarse growls, distant inhuman shrieks and other sounds resembling the ripping of fabric. His breathing became slow and difficult, he felt a crushing pressure on his throat, but the terrible grip eventually softened and he was able to breathe normally again; he didn’t gather the strength to open his eyes until the piercing sounds finally came to a halt.

It was quiet and cool and the pain seemed to subdue. He didn’t know for how long he passed out, maybe a couple of minutes, maybe for hour; it was hard to tell.

He recoiled a bit and groaned, with dusty blinking he opened his eyes and realized he was inside a much wider, darker place. His limbs took their time to start responding again, but the pain wasn’t that bad and he didn’t seem to have anything broken, however he was still shaken from what he just experienced.

It was a nightmare. He wanted it so bad to be just a nightmare; after all, he spent such a long time in stupor so it shouldn’t be surprising to have lucid dreams once in a while. _If only it could be just a nightmare_.

He looked around and realized he was inside the school’s gym, and it was deathly quiet. He couldn’t begin to explain how in heavens did he even end up in this place, because before he fell unconscious he recalled being at the extra-curricular activities building. The interior of the gym was just as abandoned as the rest of the school; there was dim light coming through the windows from up above, and since the gym had a very high rooftop it gave the whole place very poor illumination. He didn’t like it.

He moved his legs, they felt sore and he rolled up the cloth on his right leg to check if it was bleeding. There was a bite mark right there, but fortunately didn’t seem to pierce through his skin. Evidence was right there, _this was real_ , he thought. He breathed out and slowly turned his head from left to right. No monsters around, but he feared of what would come if he didn’t get the hell out of here soon.

Aoba let out an audible groan when he tried to open the main door of the gym and discovered it was blocked. _Just fucking great_. The benches of the gym were taken out and used to barricade the doors from the outside. This only meant bad news. Why would they barricade the gym from the outside? It only made him wonder more furiously how did he even get inside. The first thought that came into his mind was that whoever put him in here also decided to lock him up in here… Why would someone do that? He couldn’t even conceive one single positive reason for it. What if more of those things were locked inside here as well? He took some distance from the door, no time to think, he simply ran and violently tackled against it in an attempt to push the benches from outside and push his way out. He repeated the attack over and over, but soon it proved to be fruitless and it was only earning him an aching shoulder. He stopped and leaned against the door to recover himself a little.

Maybe he should try the restrooms at the bottom of the gym. They couldn’t be sealed as well, right?

He was so desperate that he didn’t care about the sound of his steps echoing all over the shadowy place. Because of custom he first reached out for the men’s restroom… but as soon as he pushed the door slightly, a chill ran down his spine when he heard something abnormal coming from the inside.

The moment he heard a wet munching sound along some sort of low gurgled growl, he vividly imagined an animel having a gruesome feast of raw flesh. The smell he perceived was so sickening, he thought he’d throw up if he didn’t hold his breath. Aoba stopped moving for some seconds and, without even looking inside, he very carefully closed the door, this time he made sure he was perfectly quiet. He tried sneaking into the girl’s restroom instead… but his body wouldn’t stop shaking. It was hard to breathe without wheezing slightly. He just wanted to stop thinking about what could be inside the men’s restroom.

He held his breath and pushed the door, fully alert and peeking inside just to make sure. Nothing inside. Just the lockers and the benches, surprisingly still in their proper place. The bottom of the restroom still had its frosted glass windows above the lockers, a few of them broken and apparently they were his only way out.

It was too early to stay calm though. The door couldn’t be locked behind him and moving anything to block it would take too much effort… Not to mention that he noticed the light traces of dried blood on the floor. He tried to ignore them and stepped on the bench, he’d jump onto the lockers and hopefully he’d be able to get kick the glass out of his way.

When he placed his hands on the top of the cold metal of the locker, he felt the tips on his fingers touch something in particular. It was a wooden handle. A claw hammer. It had some dry blood on it and he couldn’t help linking it to the stains on the floor… but right now he wasn’t picky on his options for self-defense. Promptly he jumped and pulled his weight with his arms to the surface of the metal lockers.

_He was going to make it_. _He was going to get out_. His chest was feeling a lot lighter when he carefully broke the shards of glass out of his way with his newly acquired hammer, he could even feel the fresh air of the mist from the outside. The windows were a lot smaller than he thought, but he’d be able to pass through them with no problems, considering how slim he was now.

Little consideration he gave to the fact that even with his light weight on the lockers he was messing up their balance. By the time he realized this, it was already too late. His heart sunk as he tried desperately to hold onto the window, his only hope. The deafening racket caused by the lockers that fell to the floor was too much to bear and he panicked. He didn’t want to let go, but he did. He realized his right hand had a bleeding cut on it, but it didn’t stop him from attempting to jump again to the window, each time more frantic and hopeless. He couldn’t make it.

“Shit!”, he muttered, almost felt like crying. He heard the door of the restroom pushing open along the sloppy sounds of flesh pressing against the cold surface. It was the same kind of monster from before and it was advancing towards him, gasping and moaning, stretching its red spasmodic hands to him. It’s mouth-hole was drenched in blood, pieces of meat were falling from the hole as it was seemingly forced open by what appeared to be leashes of leather strapped around its featureless head. It was a horrifying sight.

He didn’t even think of it twice before he picked up the hammer again and ran against the monster with all his might; he managed to push the creature aside as he went through the door once again, aiming to the blocked entrance of the gym. He kicked and pushed and screamed, somehow trying to make it less hopeless than it already was.

He kicked harder, not once forgetting that the monster was on its way to get him. He had a hammer on his hand; he took it for a reason, but…

When he turned around to see how close the monster was already, he almost pissed on his pants. There were other four coming right after the first one with the same twitchy motions. Aoba kept on kicking the door on full-force. The first one was coming closer increasingly fast.

He wanted to cry, but never stopped kicking the door, he could swear he was finally moving the heavy benches from the outside. “Oh come on, fuck!” he snarled, his grip on the hammer tightening, the light footsteps behind him were so close now.

Violently he turned before ramming to the door again. Blindly he swung the hammer on his hand and it hit the head of the disgusting creature. He even felt how the blow cracked its cranium, and he couldn’t help but to shudder at the horrible cries of the thing.

Something wet had splattered on the side of his face and now it was spreading on the floor. Its blood was dark and not warm at all. His stomach was tense; he kicked the thing now that it was lying on the floor. He kicked again. It twitched. Then returned to the door and started to tackle against it once more.

“Fuck! Come on, move!” His blood was rushing while he was still terrified, keeping the bloody hammer close to him as he helplessly observed the other monsters coming to get him too at a faster pace. He was already a mess of nerves because he struck one of them, and it didn’t change the fact that it was a living human-sized thing, so he didn’t feel prepared to repeat it.

They were all eager to put their hands on him; he was even pushing the door with less force. Would he even be able to take them all out with a single hammer? This could be the last thing he’d do, and he was too scared to even contemplate how was the last time he ever talked to his granny and his friends. He didn’t want it to end like this. He didn’t want to die here.

As an act of impulse, he pushed his body against the door again, and… he felt the door was giving in. Quickly, a human-looking hand was extended to him and without any hint of hesitation Aoba clung to it as his whole body was yanked out of the door in a very violent and fast motion. The benches that were blocking the way were pushed aside, he noticed, but the monsters would be at the door at any moment.

With the help of his two saviors, they placed the benches back to the gym’s door and effectively trapped the monsters inside. He could still hear them screeching, thumping and scratching against the door though.

Aoba had to lie down and gasp for air for several seconds, feeling the cold mist once again at the school’s backyard. He took a look to both men who just pulled him out of a certain death. He couldn’t decide if he should smile or show his concern for them. Both were using matching clothes, but they were also severely bruised and bandaged.

“… What are you guys doing here?”, it was such an embarrassing thing to ask, even before thanking them for what they’ve done. It wasn’t that he didn’t feel glad they were here, but that was honestly the first question that popped inside his head.

“The same we could ask about you, Aoba-san.”

“It seems like you came back from the dead, Aoba. Finally.”

The couple of blonde men stared intently to Aoba. The one wearing glasses, Virus, had a mouth mask and a black sling for his right arm. Trip had a large cervical collar around his neck and half of his face was bandaged. But with all that aside, they both didn’t seem to particularly mind those injuries at all. Well, since they were _yakuza_ and all, Aoba guessed these kind of things would mean little to them.

“Yeah, right, so I’ve been told”, Aoba replied, getting back up with the help of Trip’s hand, “I was beginning to wonder what happened to you… I’m glad that you appeared just in time to save my ass.”

Virus’ voice sounded as calm as always, he noted. “You’re quite lucky we heard your screaming from the main building. But I don’t recommend doing it much in this sort of places though.”

“Got it”, he sighed, granted he’d never forget such a horrid experience.

“How is Aoba-san feeling after being in bed for such a long time? We haven’t heard word of you for all this time.”

“… I’m just a little out of myself but I’m pulling through”, he said shaking his shoulders, “I still don’t know what happened to me before I woke-up into this nightmare … but I’m already assuming the worst here.”

Virus rose one of his barely visible eyebrows. “Is that so? You don’t remember anything?”

“Nothing at all?”, Trip inquired.

“Nothing”, Aoba repeated, and he looked down briefly, biting his lower lip. “I’m just betting Toue is behind it, but…” Before straying to that subject, he suddenly thought about other important question: “—Do you guys have any idea of what’s going on? What are all these monsters?”

“I’m afraid we’re just as lost about this as you are…”

“But we’re doing fine on our own”, said Trip, smirking strangely cheerfully.

“Yeah, says the guy with the bandaged head. Say… you’re the only ones around this place?”

“The only one here is you. There’s no one else around “, said Virus arching his eyebrows slightly, his whole expression was hard to head because of the mouth mask, “Were you searching for someone? Unfortunately, you’ve been wasting your time here.”

Aoba crossed his arms, confused. “How could you tell I was searching for someone?” He briefly remembered the girl in white, and vaguely wondered if she was alright…

“The fog can play tricks with people’s minds.”

“Many people have gotten lost because they see things that they’re not actually there.”

“Like ghosts.”

Virus’ eyes darkened a little “—And these things often get people killed. It’s almost as if this fog could read into people’s hearts… or something like that.”

“So be careful with what you see, Aoba.”

“Whatever you see, it might not be what you think it is. We tell you to take these words to heart.”

Certainly, he always had mixed feelings when those two started to complete their statements. Although they weren’t twins, their mutual understanding and synchronization was sometimes scary, and it didn’t help much when they were also saying such disturbing things. They had a point. What if the girl he followed here was a _ghost_ , like Trip said?

“… That sounds an awful lot like a horror movie” he replied, placing his fingers under his chin thoughtfully. He couldn’t stop frowning; the chills of his recent near-death experience were still there. “But all these monsters…, aren’t they real enough? I almost get killed, if I didn’t strike it in time it would have—”

“Now, here’s the real question, Aoba-san: are they truly monsters or is that what the fog is making us believe?”

For a moment he froze. What the hell did he mean by that? Aoba was about to reply something against that, but he went silent right away.

It couldn’t possibly be true. A number of strange ideas crawled behind his head, but he didn't believe any of that. He couldn't.

… Why was he suddenly so quiet about it then?

“You don’t need to take that one seriously”, said Trip interrupting Aoba’s line of thoughts. “If they weren’t monsters, we wouldn’t get attacked or eaten by them in the first place, right?” Trip seemed so awfully calm about it, but also confident about his remark.   

Virus rolled his eyes and sighed: “Whatever they are, do not think too much about it. In fact, by all means, do not refrain from being as violent as you can, Aoba-san. Mind your own safety.”

At least their concern seemed honest, but it’d be impossible to shake off that previous statement. “… Right. I guess. Besides, I don’t think the fog it’s venomous or anything.”

His eyes drifted off to the school’s building. The windows looked dark and… empty?

_Why were they empty?_

Also… he had this new strange feeling about the mysterious black-eyed girl. He followed the girl to this place, but she disappeared. He knew she meant something, and if what Virus and Trip said was correct, it’d probably make sense that she was a ghost after all. Although he never believed in ghosts and never thought he’d have to believe in them one day.

Still, the possibility that she was a ghost maybe explained the fact that he felt like he remembered her from somewhere… yet couldn’t put his finger on it.

 “Is there something in your mind, Aoba-san?”, Virus called, probably grew uncomfortable with his sudden silence.

“Not at all. As a matter of fact, it’s more like I feel _something is missing_.”

“Missing?”

“Yes, _something important that I’m missing out_ … By the way, you didn’t answer me what are you guys doing in this place.”

Virus tensed his eyebrows a little. “We came looking for medical supplies, but it seems like we arrived too late.”

“You aren’t in any way related with the recon group of Beni-Shigure, right?”

“Not quite. We’re actually on a different group of survivors…”

It made sense that there were more survivors, he knew. But still, they were both wounded and they exposed themselves to the dangers outside, so it didn’t feel right just to leave them be. “…Listen, I think I can get you some medical supplies at least…”

“You shouldn’t do things to inconvenience your allies, Aoba-san. We appreciate the offer, but as much as it hurts to accept, this is something we’re forced to do on our own in order to avoid clashing against other groups… do you understand?”

He said those words with such composure, it only made him feel even worse.

“Are you sure?”

“We should be going by now anyways. Shouldn’t you as well?”

****

The way back was pretty uneventful, he had to work with his memory from high school days and the times he visited Koujaku to remember where to walk and find his way to the residential building.

It was peaceful but he felt tense all the time, because strolling for a prolonged time with not a single soul on the streets, he could hear more steps running besides his own. He was almost sure that he was being followed, but right now, even while he had a hammer to defend himself with, he’d rather not to use it.

He wasted too much time checking on the streets’ names just to make sure he was taking the right way, but sometimes he wasn’t even sure anymore. The more time he spent on it, the more nervous he was, even though he haven’t seen any monsters since he encountered Virus and Trip.

It was so chilly. He felt so weak after walking and running around for so long.

He found an alley of stairs that went down. He couldn’t quite recognize it, but he sat right there and rested his face against his knees just for a moment. He brushed his hair back, still greasy and unkempt, not to mention he still felt the dried stains of blood on his cheek. Was it even blood?

Suddenly, he heard more footsteps, this time coming ahead from him, but they sounded more racy and solid than those of the monsters. He still tightened his grip on the hammer.

The silhouette that passed through the fog in front of him was a man with a loose red kimono. He recognized him immediately.

“Koujaku”, he sighed. He was more surprised than glad, given the circumstances. Koujaku’s face was as pale as a corpse and the shadows beneath his eyes were so dark; Aoba didn’t notice how tired he actually looked when they put him on bed not so long ago.

He was frowning, gasping for air. It was clear he’s been looking for him, and he was upset about something. Aoba got on his feet again and avoided eye contact for a second.

“… Don’t look at me like that. Nothing bad happened to me. Was Granny too worried?”

“Aoba, just… let’s go back,” His voice was dry and weak, he seemed too tired for this shit, “you’re still in no condition to wander out like that.”

He crossed his arms, squinting at his old friend. “You don’t look good either. How much have you rested until now?”

He looked offended. “I’m fine.” Koujaku seemed like he was going to grab Aoba’s shoulder, but hesitated for a second. “Come.” He turned around and walked past the younger man, and he simply followed not before sighing in frustration.

Aoba couldn’t ignore his friend’s body language. It was painfully obvious how exhausted he was, and as much as he could use talking to him, he felt like one light push would be enough to make him collapse.

“… Liar”, Aoba muttered.

“Why were you out here on your own anyways? There have been a lot of people going missing and it’s almost a miracle that I happen to find you alive! I swear, if something happened to you—“

“You’re overreacting! I didn’t get killed, and at least now I know what the hell is going on, and that’s all that matters”, he replied to the man in the red kimono, some sort of stupid self-importance showing through his voice, “I even found Virus and Trip and they helped me out so…”

“—Aoba, please,” Almost violently Koujaku turned his face to him, showing an expression full of great distress “it’s not good for your mental health to go out; you need to stay with Tae-san and the others until we find a way to get out of this hell, alright?”

That was the face of someone who’s seen unspeakable things, he could tell. Well, Koujaku has been facing this nightmare for far longer, so Aoba couldn’t really blame him. Besides, it was impossible to forget the state in which he was brought back to the apartment less than a day ago.

“But mind your own health as well, you look as if you’re about to faint” Aoba replied. “You need to lie down and take a good rest once we get back. You need it more than anyone.”

Koujaku lowered his head a bit, his walking pace even slowed down and with the black locks of hair covering half of his face, it was hard to tell… but, it seemed like the tension on his face lessened a bit. “Aoba… is it really okay to do that?”, he asked, his voice suddenly changed into something more feeble and reserved.

“What do you mean? Of course it is…You fucking need it.”

“No, I meant —uh… how do I even put it?” He was fidgeting and moving a little more carefully as if his shoulders were all stiff, Aoba could tell. “I know it’s been tough for both of us, and sometimes we can do some reckless things… but _is it really okay_?”

“It’s not okay to be reckless and we know it. But somehow we end up being reckless anyways. I guess we are really _that_ fucked up.”

For a second, Aoba smiled faintly as he said those words. He didn’t mean to make them sound funny or anything, and his face felt sore and dry, but still he managed to smile. Koujaku creased his brows a little and smiled almost comforted despite his own worn-out appearance. “That’s a rough way of saying it”, he replied, less pained by the act of talking.

“Anyways, no matter how stupid we end up being, it’s important to stay together and protect what we cherish the most”, he said, thinking specifically on his granny, more than anyone else. “I’m okay now, so… let me watch your back too, okay?”

“… Okay.”

He was acting weird. But really, who wouldn’t be acting weird in this situation?

They managed to arrive safely to the shelter, received by extremely concerned team members of Beni-Shigure; more of them seemed to pay more attention to Koujaku’s well-being. He obviously must have taken off from bed as soon as he heard that he went missing in the fog, even if it was against his own health. Aoba couldn’t stop feeling guilty about it. However, nothing spared the two men of receiving a bump on the head from Tae for being so rash and stupid. She was so angry, he thought she'd have a heart attack.

Koujaku was quickly medicated and put back in bed. Before falling asleep, he asked Tae if Mizuki had any news about _those two_ who went missing during the last recon. She didn’t answer because he fell asleep too fast, but Aoba casually asked her about the matter, since he had to hear his friend ask it first. 

Tae made a small grimace when she looked at her grandson.

“I don’t want you to go out alone again, you hear me?” She looked mortified more than anything. “And go to talk to Mizuki. He needs to see you.”

Putting all conflicting thoughts aside, Aoba knew his grandma had a golden heart, and it shouldn’t be surprising that she was concerned about Mizuki despite the past. But talking to him and see things from his perspective was something he needed too to at least grant him some peace of mind.

... He was honestly more worried about how to would he even begin to apologize to his friend —if he could still call himself that— rather than talking about what was happening with Midorijima.


	4. Burdens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uhm, yeah, maybe I'm posting this chapter a little bit earlier than planned because I will literally have no time tomorrow.

_—Two days ago—_

The energy wasn’t supposed to run out so fast. Maybe the flashlight got damaged when he fell into the hole. His whole body was heavier to move for some reason, but it wasn’t like he was completely unaware of his physical state. He probably was covered in bruises, but he didn’t mind them much as long as they didn’t slow him down considerably. But the unexplainable tickling was starting to expand, like the dark sweet echo of feeble water drops filling the emptiness of this place.

The flashlight blinked again. _Stupid old gadgets_. The walls were rusty red, the air was damp and smelled like chlorine. He perceived that the tingling was coming from his wrist. It felt tiny and cold… he could tell how cold felt like since because of the several timea he had stuck his tongue on cold things like ice. Cold could sometimes be annoying, and some other times cold could be nice. But why was he sensing cold on the skin of his wrist? It was wet, water droplets were leaking from the upside; was it raining outside?

He’s been walking for hours now, no signs of his companion or his song, and he’s been getting lost inside this godforsaken abyss despite having a good sense of direction. It just didn’t make sense. It was like walking within an endless corridor. It was so empty and dead down here, not even those fleshy abominations made any appearances since he fell into this place.

He’s been following a straight line for at least two hours. The scenery didn’t change at all, only he did. Maybe he should stop walking. He knew it was dangerous to not know his body limits.

 _Shit, the flashlight finally went out_. Everything was in complete darkness now. Only the echo of water drops falling was all that remained. He sat down against the wall and contemplated the nothingness, and seconds passed by; out of the blue, he screamed. The sound of his broken voice echoed only for some seconds, such outburst was meaningless within the nothingness he was trapped in. Screaming wasn't the wisest thing to do, but he hated this oppressive feeling of being alone and confused; it was all taking place in his physical world, not his heart anymore.

That tingling again, it was telling his brain to pay attention to his arm. It was crawling below his skin now, and he didn’t understand why, but his fingers tried to follow the peculiar coldness running on his forearms. _Scars_. He remembered the needles; buried deep, so, so deep, between bones. How could he tell they went so deep inside him? They told him, didn’t they? Not like he ever gave a fuck to begin with.

He didn’t notice right away, but the shivering took over his limbs before he could admit it was traumatizing to remember. It wasn’t healthy to remember. And now it was so lonely. So cold and distant and lonely. Nothing ever changed.

He didn’t know if his eyes were closed or not. It was dark. How would he even tell if he was still alive? Maybe this was _death_. It was silent and almost peaceful. _It’d be okay just to stop here, right? Yes, it was okay._

Suddenly, there was a distinctive sound coming from him, disrupting the darkness of this death. It was a very generic kind of tune. The kind of tune losers would put on their Coils when someone was calling them. It was coming from his pocket.

He opened his eyes; the blue light that shone through the fabric of his pocket gave him just enough illumination to figure out that he was still inside the same endless hallway. But there was a door in front of him? A large black iron door he didn’t see in front of him before for some reason.

He got so pumped by the sudden revelation that he almost forgot to check what was happening with the electronic device that suddenly turned on by itself. He placed his bruised fingers around the handle and twisted. The loud screeching sound it made as it was pushes could have made ears bleed, but he didn’t care. Even if the way out wasn’t behind the door, it couldn’t be worse than staying in that endless rusty hallway.

The room was pitch black, because of the limited illumination granted by the Coil’s turquoise light he could barely tell there was a metallic floor beneath him.

He walked around the room, with his back facing the wall at all times, it was the only safe thing to do in case a nightmare planned on stalking him. He only had his fists and feet to defend himself, but he was yet to find the occasion to make him regret this choice. There was a very low moaning of metal resounding through the walls, as if something big was being slowly dragged from another room.

The light finally touched something other than walls, what seemed to be a long iron ladder that should go somewhere upwards. He scrutinized the dark deep or rather non-existant roof of the room. Granted, he never stopped hearing the water drops ever since he entered here, but could it be…?

He could have sworn his eyes distinguished something like a slightly less dark shade to where the ladder was going. The moaning was getting louder. Then again, he didn’t have anything else to lose. Quickly he placed both hands on the damp rusty steps and started to climb up.

The moaning was getting louder still; coming from his left side. The cries of corroded iron were so close and big and loud. It smelled like blood.

His breath stopped.

His strong grip on the ladder didn’t hold him in place. Giant slick stumps of flesh pounded against his waist, two of them from left and right viciously grabbed him and he yelped in shock. They pulled from his waist with such force, he had to let go. None of this was normal. He let go _because it hurt_ , it hurt because the pressure on his abdomen was too much. The thud on his head surprised him. He was immobile and shocked for seconds that seemed like long minutes.

None of this was normal. The blue light of the coil illuminated something that made him shudder as agony surpassed common sense. He needed to drag himself out of this place.

****

“… I think we need to talk, right?”

Mizuki almost jumped off from the chair he was sitting on. Aoba didn’t intend to surprise him, but it was generally  difficult to approach the dark-skinned man he used to call his friend. No, _they were still friends_. The problem was that Aoba didn’t feel worthy of this friendship anymore.

His granny told him he’d find Mizuki at the first floor outside the apartments, making the night watch as well. The gray curtains of mist during the night were creepy enough without the abhorrent beings that possibly lurked out there. The only times in which they employed energy was to keep the lights on during the night, and only outside the apartments —since the electric plants all over the island have all failed to work, people resorted to anything they could get their hands on, and so far, all sorts of batteries and internal combustion engines have been their best choices—, otherwise the energy was kept tightly stored and distributed, only used if absolutely necessary.

Mizuki still had that white tattoo on his face, a small simple teardrop on his left cheek, it somehow made him look even more downhearted. Mizuki was fidgeting, having a hard time looking into his friend's eyes. Aoba couldn’t blame him. “This will be so awkward” was the first thing Mizuki muttered to the blue-haired young man.

“For starters… I’m sorry, Mizuki. If only I paid more attention to your problems, maybe… just maybe—“

Mizuki sighed and closed his eyes, “I’ve dealt with my problems poorly, Aoba”, he frowned looking to the ground, “…besides, the last thing you need is to blame yourself. I am fine now.”

Aoba shook his head, “You're saying that you're fine, but you don't look fine to me. You can't expect me to believe that you're fine." it came out rather bluntly, but it was too late to take it back.

“Koujaku and Tae have been there for me, and even saved some members of Dry Juice. I couldn’t do that myself even though I was supposed to be their leader… You’re right, I’m far from fine.” Mizuki grimaced, out of the disgust he felt about himself.

“Still, if only I knew how to use that power of mine before…”

“Stop that”, his voice rose momentarily, “It wasn’t your fault it turned out like that. We’re finally past that, and I forgive you for it, Aoba. I never blamed you, not even once!”

Aoba could tell, it was hard for Mizuki talk to him like this, but he probably waited for a long time for this chance to come at him, so he'd say all what he wanted to say, even with the tense atmosphere formed between them.

“… Sorry. I know I’ve been nothing but a burden for such a long time.” Aoba murmured, his voice shrinking in shame.

“You don’t worry about that. Everyone took care of you because you’re important to them, and you’re still important to me…” Mizuki’s green eyes stopped looking at him and he lowered his face again, “I wish I was a better friend to you, Aoba… to be honest, I hardly ever visited you while you were sick in bed. I never gathered the courage to do it.”

“I wouldn’t have noticed”, Aoba simply tilted his head, not feeling so hurt about it. “Even so, it’s fine.”

“I’m sorry, I just… didn’t know how to deal with you. I never resented you for anything, yet I felt… scared.”

The blue-haired man bit his lower lip, his mind brought him back to those faltering memories of his younger edgier days. “… Was it because of my power?” _Scrap_ was its name. That was a hideous ability he never knew he had until very recently. As a matter of fact, Aoba didn’t hear of its existence until a few moments before his memory blackout.

 _Scrap_ , the power to bend and destroy people’s minds. His granny told him about it. There was also other part of him… that part inside him that had control over Scrap. But he haven’t heard _his_ voice for a long time. He didn’t feel _his_ presence at all. Not even the smallest hint of the abnormal gift on his vocal cords. It all simply vanished.

Mizuki quickly shook his head, seemingly more distressed and guilt-ridden.

“No. No, it wasn’t any of that… Just what happened to you… _the way you came back_ …”, the wine-haired man’s voice cracked a little as he tried to find the right words, “I didn’t know how to get near to you, because I was scared of not being able to help you at all.”

He remembered seeing Mizuki like this before. It was almost the same painful honesty that he showed when Aoba accidentally entered his mind, but this time he was more collected. “I’ve spent a lot of time hating myself, every day wishing that it was me and not you who was taken away, I even blamed myself for what happened to you…”, Mizuki stopped briefly, he looked like he was about to cry, but somehow managed to contain it; he sniffed loudly and let out a shaky sigh before resuming. “You know, I managed to save a few people, but none of it changes the fact that it was my stupid and desperate decision what helped to kill most of Dry Juice. In the end I failed to be the good leader everyone trusted me to be; it’s funny how hard it’s to realize how important you truly are as a person once everything is torn apart from you. I let my own insecurities to destroy everything I’ve worked so hard to create, and now I can’t go back to where I used to be”, with these words, Mizuki’s bruised fingers touched the bandage around his neck, beneath it should be still the black tattoo that served as a reminder of his greatest mistake.

Aoba himself felt like crying right there, but enough pain was enough. Hearing and processing all of it was already too much.

“Mizuki, I know it’s been hell for you, but you’ve pulled through this far on your own, right?”

“No, the ones who helped me were Koujaku and Tae-san, and I owe her so much more than I can ever pay back,” Another pause. He let out his breath and let his head fall back, still with an anguished look on his face, but also relief. It seemed like he finally freed himself from a burden. “… But you’re right. I’ve made it this far. I can’t let myself down until I see the end of it, right? I’m glad that you’re also pulling yourself through.”

This change of mood made Aoba’s mind lighten, even if just one bit. Part of him knew that despite Mizuki’s honesty, he was still keeping quiet about some things, or just couldn’t bring himself to say them aloud.

“Well, what can I say? I’m just too tough”, Aoba smirked, but that sounded too conceited in consideration to their grim circumstances. He placed his hand on Mizuki’s shoulder, his fingers clasping strongly on the cotton of his jacket. “I’m glad to be able to talk to you again, Mizuki.”

He looked into his eyes, the pain would remain there, but they trusted each other at least. “Same”, the tattooed man replied, smiling back, slightly troubled, but he managed. They awkwardly moved their gazes away from each other and the blue-haired man moved his hand away.

“… Aoba”

“What?”

Mizuki tensed his expression. “Are you _sure_ that you’re alright?”

Aoba had to puff at the question, “Who’s feeling alright in this monster-infested fog?”

The tattooed man relaxed. “... You got me there.”

“Say, when Koujaku came back from retrieving me—”

“Ugh, _no_. Don’t even mention it. I seriously tried to lock him up in his apartment, but he almost went on hysterics and kicked me out of the way as soon as he suspected you were out there on your own. Not even five of us managed to stop him.”

“Wow, really? Sorry about that.”

“Also, I heard you went out to chase after a chick. Well, _that’s new_.”

“ _Oh,_ shut up. But in all seriousness, I think I might’ve seen a ghost. I couldn’t stop myself from following her… almost as if I was hypnotized or something”, Aoba mentioned without thinking. He had trouble trying to understand his actions back then. True, he used to make stupid decisions in the past, but when following that stranger into the fog he felt so... strange.

“You wouldn’t be the first one. It would seem like this fog can cause very lucid hallucinations to people who spend too long outside. But Tae-san has been producing some very effective pills to keep us steady. Nobody has hallucinated for a while now, but unfortunately we still have the monsters to worry about”, Mizuki said. It was easy to tell how much his admiration towards Tae had grown. “You must make sure to take one every day at least. It’d help to keep your stupidity in line.”

“Yeah.” It was weird though. Didn’t he take some medication before he went out and even the day before? He kept that to himself. “… Back to what I was saying, Koujaku asked about you, if you had any news about the people from the recon who went missing.”

“Oh yeah… about those two, it was expected that they’d take longer to come back, since they went to the North District and the road has changed a lot since Toue's expansion.” Mizuki shrugged, as if this wasn’t such a strange thing to say. “Clear and Noiz; I think you’ve met them.”

Those names certainly rang a bell.

“… I have. I don’t remember them very well though. I think I only knew them for a couple of days?”

“Well, that’s weird, because both seemed to be very attached to you.”

“Yeah, it’s weird. Both of them were pretty weird now that I recall. What were they doing?”

“Electricity is almost dead, and digital media doesn’t work, yet Noiz received a call from a Coil just some time ago. Since that Rhymer brat is also a hacker, he managed to track the place from where the call came from. So those two took off to investigate, but that’s all they let me know”, Mizuki frowned, visibly frustrated, “Besides, this whole _mystery Coil missing call bullshit_ is way too fishy and I can’t figure why was it so important for them to investigate… but it’s taken them more time than they originally planned, and everyone is starting to get worried.”

“With all those monsters outside, who wouldn’t be?… Hey, do you think they might be—?”

“—Dead? It’s hard to tell, honestly. It’s not impossible to survive out there on your own, no matter who you are. There was this one time in which we lost a little girl for a whole week and she came back alive; apparently she got lost in the sewers.”

“So, there’s a chance they might still be alive.”

“Not to mention they’re way too resourceful; we can’t really afford losing any more people. Wish me luck, tomorrow I'm taking some people with me to see if we can find them at the North District.”

It was kind of inspiring to see Mizuki so serious about it; having a purpose to keep fighting despite the odds was something Aoba looked up to, in Mizuki, in his Granny, in Koujaku. Those people were doing important things, and then there was him, following his Granny around the building and getting in the way more than just helping. It wasn’t as if exposing himself to the dangers outside would be any better, but still… he couldn’t stay here, he just couldn’t. “Do you think I can join you at the recon too? I feel like I'm dead weight around here.”

“You’ll find something else to help with eventually.”

“No, please let me go out with you. I know it’s dangerous and scary out there, but I’ve been able to defend myself. I want to help.”

“Look, it’s not up to me. That’s something you’ll have to discuss with Tae-san.” In his expression, Mizuki got a little more tense and serious. “But trust me on this one, Aoba: it takes real guts to face what’s outside this refuge. You’ve seen the state in which Koujaku came back. He’s probably one of the toughest men we have, and still wasn’t good enough.”

Of course he couldn’t forget about Koujaku. Whatever he had to face, he obviously had to face it alone, but Aoba had to stop thinking about it because his mind couldn’t fathom the abomination that left Koujaku in such condition. But this was a thing he wouldn’t be doing on his own. “… I know the risks. I got to live after that, remember?”

Mizuki sighed, he rubbed his face with his fingers and looked back at his blue-haired friend, more worried than angry. “Just think about it.”

****

Pieces of memories were sluggishly coming back to him, not much of them were coming in any particular order, and they were too blurry or vague to make out. Finally, when he got his chance to take a bath and wash away the dirt from his sensitive hair, he believed his mind would be eased from some of its burdens, but the water’s coolness probably made it worse, there was also the fact that he couldn’t bring himself to relax while looking at the brown residuals inside the bathtub that couldn’t be washed away when they put Koujaku in there. On the brighter side, Aoba wasn’t feeling stinky and his hair wasn’t greasy anymore.

He found it impossible to fall asleep; he just didn’t feel like he could even close his eyelids, he had an unusual amount of thinking running through his head and he couldn’t help it.

He came out of his room. Koujaku was still sleeping soundly on the crammed bed; Aoba was told by his grandma that he’d be sleeping at least for the whole next day since he’s been suffering from fatigue for a while, added to the recent trauma from whatever the hell wrapped him in hair and blood.

Aoba couldn’t stop thinking about the whole situation: the island was in some sort of zombie-apocalypse state; most of the people he knew throughout his life were possibly dead, and it was seemingly too risky to contemplate. For those who did or already have established themselves there, some took their chances on abandoning the island on ships, but Tae told him that many of those who tried using ships ended up sailing back on the safe boats because, for reasons unknown, the ships stopped and started to sink despite all measures taken. However, she emphasized the fact that not all of them ended up sinking. Those ships that somehow made it out of Midorijima, they never came back. Nobody knew if they managed to get to the main islands, but it wasn’t far-fetched to say that it was simply impossible to enter the island from the outside. Since Toue's company finally fell apart, it shouldn't have taken others to start intervening, yet weeks have passed by and nobody was coming to the island.

But Tae said it was early to give up hope, that eventually they’d find a way to abandon the island. It was almost heartbreaking to hear her say those things. Old citizens like her used to strongly refuse to leave this island despite Toue's oppression against these people… Midorijima was shut away from the outside world because of it, and now more than ever, they were all in mortal danger. The only thing they could do until anything else was simply to survive and stay together. Aoba would do just that. He wanted to be useful, feel useful. He wanted to join Mizuki and the Beni-Shigure and help everyone in the best way he could do… but also there was something else he desired to do on his own, driven by personal and possibly dumb feelings.

When his Granny arrived back to the apartment, she didn’t even scold him for being awake at these hours, and he asked if it was okay to bother her with another talk. She never actually denied him of talking about anything he wanted, not since he woke up, but he had the feeling that she wouldn’t say anything unless he inquired her about it; he took it as some sort of consideration of her towards his mental health, but in all honesty, one of her worst traits was the fact that she'd keep everything to herself until she couldn’t hide those things anymore.

She brought into the apartment a thermos flask with warm herbal tea, something she made for herself while she was attending the men who came back wounded from the last recon. She offered her grandson tea as well, and he kindly accepted it; it wasn’t very tasty but the sensation of warm water helped him to ease him from some of his tension.

They talked for a few minutes about how things used to be before, the things she missed, even the most common aspects of their daily lives, suddenly everything was gone. He was going to miss those days too; hanging out with his friends, working at the Junk Shop, having dinner at home with his granny… talking to _Ren_.

For a moment, a question rose within his mind, the gentle memory of the small dog. “Granny, don’t you know what happened to Ren?”

She rose on eyebrow while her thin hands held the tumbler with tea. “ _Ren_? Aoba, I already told you it’s been months since—“

“I know what you said” He didn’t intend to be rude, but he had good reasons to insist. “But I still don’t know for sure what happened to Ren.”

“I’m sorry, you must have lost him somewhere…” She avoided eye-contact for a moment.

“Lost him _where_? You mean at… _Platinum Jail_ , right? I… I got caught in there, right? By Toue.” He felt his back sweating, just thinking about it. “I just made that conclusion, so… if that is the case, Ren could still be inside _Oval Tower_ , right?”

He didn’t even finish his talking and she lifted from her chair, he was sure she’d be pissed at him, but he didn’t detect any hint of anger on her wrinkly face.

“I’m going to be straightforward with you, Aoba. There’s no chance that you’re going to find Ren after all this time, even if he’s still somehow unharmed and functioning. Don’t go risking your life over something so small. Be strong and be reasonable.” He lowered his head, unable to blame her for saying all that. She could be right. “If entering to Platinum Jail was already hard back then, now it’s practically impossible. Entering there is entering to the deepest parts of hell. Nobody has ever managed to get in there and come back alive… or sane.”

Aoba bit his lower lip. “… I see.”

“And didn’t Mizuki tell you what you wanted to know?”

“Yes, the missing guys.” He almost forgot about that subject.

Tae walked to the cushioned chair, the place she intended to use to rest even if he protested —but then again, his own bed wasn’t the most desirable place for rest either—, when she sat and relieved herself from her tiredness, she started to explain: “That brat, Noiz, I believe he can fill you in with what you want to know. But as you know, for the past two days we haven’t heard news from him or that young man, Clear. Last time I talked to him, I think he said he found out something about some Coil… I missed most of the details, because I was looking out for you.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. But, seriously, why Noiz?” Of the few things he remembered from the guy was the fact that he was terribly rude and pushy… didn’t he help him save Granny from her kidnappers though? He almost forgot about that.

“He’s been more helpful than you’d believe… Thanks to him, you’re here.”

That was… actually a shock. Of course, the guy was a hacker and a very skilled one… so it probably made sense? That Noiz had done so much and it was frustrating to know about it until now. Tae also seemed genuinely thankful when she mentioned the guy, so it must have been true.

“I’ll be able to thank him properly once I find him.”

It simply slipped out from his lips, and he realized it when it was already too late. By the time he blinked once, she already jumped from the chair and abruptly put her hand on the table, startling him, making him rise from his chair immediately and stepped to the opposite side of the table.

“No, you’re staying here! I know exactly what you want to do, stupid. If you think you’re just going to leave again in your current condition—!”

“I’m not going to stay here all day long if that’s what you —Alright, Granny, put that flask down!” She had it ready on her hand for any use she’d deem necessary. “I understand! But it still won’t make any goddamn difference if I’m gone for some hours! You’d agree more than anyone that I’m pretty useless here anyways.”

Her expression was more pained than angry, he noticed. “You’re not leaving this building. Not now that you’re finally awake. You’re more needed here than you can imagine.” Those words were evident, which only made things worse. She rapidly let go of her tension, and her tired eyes closed as she sighed. “Go, you need to get back to bed.”

“… If I need to spend one more day inside that bed, I’m going to snap, Granny. Please”, he muttered.

Her blue eyes were wide and awake, the way she frowned made her look years older. “Want to sleep outside then? You’re going to get yourself killed and that’ll be your fault.”

He’s never seen his grandma cry before, but the tone of her voice, the look on her eyes, it was very close to it, he thought. Aoba walked close to her again and took her warm hand, shaking. “… I will take care of myself, Granny. I promise. I’d want to come back at you as soon as possible, okay? I want to be here with you right away.” With a look of resignation, her fingers tightened on his hand as hard as she could.

“Don’t you try to feel sorry for me, stupid. Do you think I’m some helpless old lady? You just do your thing, get back here before you get eaten alive and think about your selfish poorly made decisions. I will keep on doing what I do best: being an actual useful member of our broken society.”

“Okay, okay…” When they let go, he finally agreed to go back to bed, but before taking his leave, he took a closer look to Koujaku, so profoundly asleep and ignorant of their little rant, he even snapped his fingers in front of the sleeping man just to make sure. “And… Granny?”, he turned to her again and muttered: “please don’t tell Koujaku I'm going out again. I don’t want him to get worse because of me.”

“It’s going to take a lot sedatives to make him not jump out of bed if he hears about it,” she groaned, but she maintained a hard and serious look on her grandson. “One last thing, Aoba: I know that you're going to try anyways, I know that you're not going to give up so easily, but please, don’t go into Platinum Jail all by yourself. Don’t do it if you know what’s best for you and everyone else.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be one of the few 'light-hearted' chapters in the story. I hope my interpretation of Mizuki isn't too out of character, because there's never enough of him in the game.


	5. His Scent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yet again, I have to update early because I'm going to be mostly absent for the whole next week, so I might as well put this chapter here already instead of lamenting if I don't get my hands on a computer this wednesday. You know? Let's forget about this whole wednesday-update thing. I'm updating this fanfic at least once a week, not in any specific day, just 'once a week', so I won't be feeling bad for not doing it on the day I'm appointed to. If I ever update on a wednesday, that'd be done unironically, I'm sure.

He barely managed to sleep from what remained of the night; he wouldn’t be joking if he said he only slept for a couple of hours or less. The feeling of restlessness kept him from being tired, whether it was a bad or a terrible thing, anyways, his grandma woke up first and she bluntly told him to wash his sorry face if he still planned to leave. He did just that, put on the only clean shirt he had left and finally put his bothersome long hair in a ponytail.

It was almost embarrassing to let Mizuki know he got permission from his Granny to tag along, but she was a figure of authority among the survivors, so it was only logical to talk to her before doing anything. Of course, Mizuki wasn’t very happy when Aoba came to him, given that he had very good reasons to disapprove. They left the building when it wasn’t dark anymore, since sunlight wasn’t a thing of splendour in the island anymore; it was just him, Mizuki, and other two people who’d go and search for Clear and Noiz at the North District.

They all carried their own bag packs with supplies, Aoba himself was given one with a first aid kit, a bottle of water, some old-looking homemade cookies, a flashlight and a crowbar. Of course, the crowbar wasn’t meant only for moving heavy objects. He was told by the guy who’d come with them that he’d better keep the tool at hand just in case.

The two young persons tagging along with him and Mizuki seemed to be siblings since they both had the same round face. The girl had her head shaved and wore thick-framed glasses, her brother was a little more than a four of inches taller and had an old-fashioned mullet; Aoba recognized him as a member of Beni-Shigure… however, the girl seemed to have a white bandage around her neck, just like Mizuki’s. She carried a rusty pickaxe on her hands, her brother had a custom-made sword that was probably only meant for show. Mizuki brought a steel baseball bat, which was probably the most comfortable and practical object to carry as a weapon.

Just as expected, Mizuki took the lead as they quietly walked through the fog-infested streets. Occasionally they broke the silence with very trivial conversations, bringing out fond memories of their childhood or how things used to be when they only had Toue to worry about. They mentioned that they didn’t always used to hide in that residential building, but within the North District… they also mentioned their group used the be much bigger but they were divided because of a serious conflict between Ribsteez leaders after the fog started to appear, so they splitted in two groups. Of course, they haven’t heard much about the other survivors who, but knowing their leader’s efficiency, they probably moved somewhere else before the North District became overridden by monsters, as Mizuki ended up explaining. He said monsters were more likely to be inside the buildings rather than outside, so the hazard of walking the streets would be minimal.

When Aoba asked about the conflict, neither Katou nor Michiko knew how to answer, the details about it were sketchy even to them. Mizuki said that Koujaku was involved, so he’d be able say anything regarding the matter. Somehow, Aoba didn’t feel surprised to know about Koujaku’s involvement. Wanting to know more about the matter, he inquired about the leader of the other group —he wanted to keep talking as much as possible, to ease the constant feeling of being observed through the endless layers of white haze.

“That guy? He was a real asshole.” Michiko said twisting her mouth.

“He was surprisingly good at keeping it cool though.” Katou added. “I never heard anybody rising serious complaints against his men, considering they were all ex-convicts... Wait a minute, didn't you get into a fight with one of them?”

“Maybe you should have pulled your head out of your ass back then. Everyone’s got a limit of shit they can take from someone until they make you snap. I didn't like to be around those guys, they were rude as hell. No wonder why Koujaku-san ended up in a fight with him.” She muttered, her opinion about those people was very firm. Her brother fidgeted a little.

“Okay, I know how this is gonna make me sound, but honestly, Koujaku-san always had some serious anger management issues and he can sometimes take things a little too far…”

“Is it okay for you to talk about your leader behind his back, Katou?”

“I’m just saying. Koujaku-san is a great leader and I always look up to him… but it’s not like it spares him from some criticism. He can get real scary when he’s angry.”

“’s that so? Understandably he should have been.”

“And what did he get so angry about?” Aoba asked, casually.

The big brother brushed his hair back, looking slightly nervous about it, “... I only know it was something personal. It took around eight men to hold back Koujaku-san from beating the leader of Scratch to a bloody pulp, you know? God knows he was lucky enough we got to stop Koujaku-san in time. Of course, there’s been a lot of conflict between them before that, but then people started to pick sides... and eventually everyone agreed that it was better to split the whole group of survivors to avoid further fights.”

“And it’s kind of useless to ask him about it. He will outright tell you to fuck off.”

“Did he… literally just told to _fuck off_?”

The girl shook her shoulders and said: “Well, I took it that way. Not that it would have offended me that much anyways, to be honest.”

Mizuki, up ahead from them sighed loudly, “Now, if you guys finished your shit-talking, can you pay more attention to the fences here?”,

“Oi, it’s not called _shit-talking_ if it’s all true”, as the bespectacled girl said this, Aoba realized they were standing close to the metallic fences that usually surrounded the North District. They seemed endless and sinister yet so weak, even the softest breeze of wind would make them wave and cause an everlasting echo through all its length. If he looked hard enough, he could discern the tall ghost buildings of the long-abandoned streets, some of its constructions seemed to overpower the smaller ones because floors were kept on getting added after the first structures.

The North District was already an abandoned location before the takeover, and nobody on their sane judgment would wander alone in there, unless they were looking for trouble. It always looked like a dangerous lonely place, but now… it was terrifying. With mist all over the edifices and hundreds of dark emptied windows, he felt as if they were sucking out all vitality he possessed —if he had any to begin with—. Everyone became insignificantly small when they started walking between the dangerous crumbles of concrete where streets should have been once; the place also showed signs of armed conflict, but they were far more noticeable and the marks of explosions and bullets broke walls and exposed their thin steel structures. The path was improvised, but what truly slowed each one of them down was the caution and unconscious hesitation of delving deeper into the ghost town. Each step they took into the darker walls of the District, it seemed like the fog was giving way to the shadows, the echoes of their steps growing louder and extensive.

They fell into silence for minutes, their breaths were slow and Aoba thought he heard a growl coming from their left.

“Mizuki, I can see one over there”, Michiko whispered, but she was surprisingly calm. Aoba’s grip on his crowbar tightened. Indeed, on their left, where a small shop should have been, a twitchy figure was moving on opposite direction.

He thought they were all going to strike against it, but they simply moved on, picked up the pace, and Aoba had to rise a question.

“If you want to go back, tell me now” Mizuki said. “Soon we won’t be able to stop.”

Aoba relaxed his shoulders. “Not today; sorry, Mizuki.” His friend had to smirk for one second, pleased to see some cockiness from his new teammate. It was only one second of distraction, one second of not looking to the front; unexpectedly Katou had to take over the front because one monster was walking towards them while they weren't looking.

The young man used his sword to quickly stab the aberration through its head. It happened so suddenly, it made Aoba jump before they could hear the creature screech. Of course, Katou tried to apologize but he was visibly horrified for what he just did, but Mizuki said it was alright. Nothing seemed alright however, Aoba was still shaken and this was probably the first time he’s witnessed something so brutal from so close. It reeked of blood and of something else he couldn’t name.

A sudden nudge against his arm almost made him cry out, but it was only Michiko, and she tried to smile as if to tell him to chill out. “Advice: don’t try to play hero and strife to monsters whenever you see them. If you're alone, avoid them as much as you can; only fight if that’s really your one last resource, okay?”

He had to nod at her. “Right, I figured as much. Thanks.”

When they had to pass over the body of that thing, Aoba watched Mizuki kick at, maybe to make himself sure, but it never stopped making him cringe at the sound of its icky flesh. “These ones are pretty weak and easy to take down, but you never know when they’re coming in groups, so if you find more than one, you know what to do, Aoba.”

“What’s the deal with them anyways?” he asked, looking at the thing as it coldly bled on the soil, the more he looked at it, the less real it seemed to him. “They don’t have eyes or ears…”

“They probably just smell fear.” Mizuki answered, it was hard to tell if he was serious or joking.

They moved a little faster, knowingly the mess would end up attracting more monsters. Mizuki led them to a narrow alley which couldn’t be detected on first sight. While Katou kept guard on the alley’s opening, Mizuki discovered under a large piece of carton a stone trapdoor. He mentioned that before the group of survivors split in two, this was one of the ways that led into their haven, which was also formerly a hideout for criminal groups and such.

Of course, he knew they were going to check that place first in order to confirm the location of Clear and Noiz, because it was possible that they could have stopped in that place before they went lost. Chances that they could even find them in there weren’t zero. It wasn’t irrational or anything, but Aoba felt like Mizuki had another reason to believe in that and he wasn’t telling any of that. When the four of them went down the iron steps, they had to turn on their flashlights, not without first throwing a red flare down the hole to confirm if anything was waiting for them down there. It was seemingly safe, much to their surprise.

From there and on, it was a deep dark tunnel, quiet enough to keep the group from doing any sort of unnecessary sounds, and Aoba couldn’t help himself from sticking too close to Mizuki, even though the white illumination of four flashlights worked on their favor, the tight darkness was engulfing his mind. They spent about fifteen minutes walking in silence like this, with occasional remarks from one of the siblings checking on the walls for the signs of fluorescent yellow paint. Still, no monsters in sight. Aoba noticed how they were pretty careful to check above their heads, they mentioned that some other monsters liked to crawl on the ceilings. It certainly didn’t help making him feel more prepared.

There was a luminous sign of high voltage almost at the end of the tunnel, a broken chain-link fence guarding another big door some meters at the bottom of the place there was a half-open door. By the looks of it, the fence was violently pushed down from their opposite side. It made the impression that a crowd forced its way against the fence to escape from something. It didn’t indicate anything good.

With the necessary cautions, they entered the half-lidded door, it took them straight to a tight room of stairs that went up high. Mizuki was quick to advice Aoba to crouch while going up the return stairs, they would keep their eyes open for every corner. Aoba was right to Mizuki all the time, holding the crowbar close to his chest while the siblings were at their backs keeping watch on the darkness they left behind. Ascending through the stairs while no other soul was there to be heard or seen, it seemed endless, and the blue-haired man waited for anything to suddenly jump out to attack. The light shed by their flashlights sometimes played with the shadows, and sometimes his mind made him believe that shadows moved on their own accord. He wanted to stop believing that something moved before the light did, but he couldn’t help it; while thinking about it, Mizuki pointed out that there was a very strange smell coming from above.

It took around ten seconds before his nose started to notice it as well. His stomach told him that nothing good was expecting them up there. The scent was getting stronger and he wanted to cover his mouth and nose. They were on the final steps. The air was hot and oppressing.

Once they stepped in front of the door at the end of the stairs, Mizuki was hesitant to push it open, fingerprints of crimson painted stretching outwards, probably clang there for dear life, for whatever reason. The smell was like alcohol, burnt meat and… something else, something Aoba identified right away, but everyone else already knew it as well. He held his breath when Mizuki kicked the door, rising the bat he carried.

The vast room they entered wasn’t as shadowy as the stairway, however, complete terror struck the four explorers as they examined the large amount of blood painting the floor and some of the walls. Folding beds were displayed on both sides of the room, meant for multiple purposes, there were at least nine of them, and not all of them were empty.

It took some time for them to decide if it was alright to keep advancing. It was safe to assume nobody wanted to, but they had to. The throbbing sensation of danger was strong and silent, awaiting. Aoba’s hands were tense and sweating on the crowbar, he wasn’t even sure if he’d be able to swing the tool, his arms were shaking too much. They moved their flashlights all over the room, Katou walked over a puddle of blood as he walked next to one of the beds, some lumps covered in a thin cotton blanket, it left little to the imagination about the gruesome aftermath of the corpse beneath it. “Dear God…”

“Mizuki, they evacuated this place after they split up the group, right?” Michiko asked, coming closer to her brother.

“I thought they did…” said the burgundy-haired man, he was trying so hard to keep calm. “They should have. W-why would this happen?”

They kept quiet for some moments, Aoba stared at Mizuki, who couldn’t stop looking at the corpses… Michiko and Katou went to the next room ahead readying their weapons, Aoba wanted to follow, but he couldn’t bear the thought of walking on human blood, it made his stomach shrink in sickness. Mizuki just stayed behind for a little longer, closed the door from where they entered before, just a small safety measure.

Aoba kept up with Mizuki’s pace, trying to not pay excessive attention to the little details of carnage that the room. The squish sound of their soles tapping against the moist floor could be heard even inside his head. Not all they stepped on was blood.

He wanted his mind to go somewhere else entirely, he wanted anything but to be here now. The smell of death was making him weary and he wanted to lie down, he wanted comfort. Shouldn’t he be able to offer comfort as well?

He leaned close to Mizuki, while looking down to his own feet. “Mizuki”, he said in a very weak tone, “… I don’t think that they're all dead… It wouldn't make sense if they were all gone”

“How would you know?”

“... I don't. It just doesn't make sense to me.”

Those words came out of the blue, he wasn’t even half-sure about what he just said, but he did it for Mizuki. Maybe his words were completely pointless. Why did they come here on the first place? The hand of his friend found its way to his arm and touched him lightly.

He flinched when Mizuki briefly touched his arm, he didn’t realize how heavy and loud his breath was until he snapped out of it, and understandably now his friend looked worried. “As I thought, I shouldn't have let you come with us. This is too much for you.”

Before Aoba could protest at him, a piercing scream was heard from further inside the abandoned haven. It moved both men so fast that they momentarily forgot about the possibility of slipping on bloody remains. No time to think, no time to rationalize, just get there.

There was some gasping and yelping that kept on guiding both guys towards the room they’d find the source of the scream. The place was seemingly a vast basement from one of the unfinished buildings from above, and it was obviously inhabited before judging by the amount of miscellaneous garbage they kicked out of their way.

They entered a room with stairs and a second level, Katou was lying on the ground and Michiko was trying to pull away a large body from her brother. She was crying, her hands were burning, the blackened body was burning too.

****

The gashes on his arm felt like splitting open, his stomach was piercing his insides, and he couldn’t swallow without feeling sore. He was tired. Sounds of scratching nails and feeble moaning ran below his ground. He was tired. Every part of his body was damp and heavy, couldn’t tell anymore what was water or what was blood. Obviously the blood should be coming from where the skin was broken, but it hurt in all different parts, the hurt that remained the most came from unexpected places. _He was tired_.

His body lain motionless and weak on the harsh cold steel. Only had a malfunctioning Coil, a bloody screwdriver, a first aid kit, and all for what? What was the point? What if all of this was merely inside his head? It’d be a lot easier just to submit to this dark place and stay forever, like he always should have. It wasn’t as if somebody would ever come and find him, at least not for his sake. He was trapped again and this time for sure he'd never escape.

He was _so tired_.

He didn’t even have his eyes open, that much he could tell, and the rusty scratching vibrating under him never ceased, crawling from one side to another, yet always coming back.

It was dark, it was lonely, it was painful, and those tiny things were never meant to change anything but to adorn the fact that he was alone and nobody was going to care if he was gone forever. It was probably childish to think like this, he knew, but he wasn't wrong.

Yet, for some reason, his own fingers moved to his left wrist. he’s been wearing _that Coil_ on his wrist for some time now. He touched it, and something in his chest started to feel weird. He could still hear his own whimpers, and now he was back to the same state of distress and anguish before he collapsed. It was happening again, he was remembering again. He didn't want to. He didn't like it.

After all, he was a child, wasn't he? No matter what he did, it couldn't change what he really was and the things he's done. It was so painful to remember.

Disrupting from the predictable chaos, the echo of sudden heavy steps came running to him, but he didn’t even have the strength to fight back. A strong pair of hands grabbed him from his shoulders and he flinched slightly, his sore eyes flickered and he groaned.

Orange light, weak but warm. The crude frame of a long-haired man looked down at him, eyes shining for the light of the lamp he carried. It took him a few seconds to recognize the man, much older than him.

“ … Y-you…?” he managed to whisper while he was being pulled into a sitting position in front of the knelt man.

“Quiet. And don’t move.”

The voice was deep and calm… but also dry and tired. He closed his eyes again, feeling like passing out, but the force of that man’s grasp shook him out of the torpor; sensing how the hands shifted his clothing as if they were trying to examine his body, he shuddered. His mind raced.

He didn’t like to be touched. He hated to be touched. Why was he touching him? But he couldn’t fight back, couldn’t even express his discontent… The touch of those fingers was so harsh over his skin, and they felt hot too, so uncomfortable and undesired… What was that weird smell? Was the lamp burning?

The struggle to keep his eyes open met its end when something burned on his arm. His brain only processed the jolt of intense pain, it took over his body and made all his limbs jump at the same time, but he was forcefully pressed against the wall, each touch over the slits was driving him insane while hearing the ill-tempered voice hissing: “You had a fucking First Aid kit next to you and didn’t use it? Do you really have a death wish?”

Wounds pulsating angrily were soon covered in something warmer, gentler, keeping the cut flesh safe. Dry cloth tightly wrapped over his cold skin felt so strangely comforting for some reason. Still couldn’t move his body though.

“… Is any of this real?” he hoarsely spoke, his eyes made sure to follow the dying light so he wouldn’t fall asleep again.

“Didn’t you have things more important to do rather than lying around like a dead animal?” muttered the annoyed man, after making sure he used well what he had in hand, he rose his head and looked from left to right as if he heard something at the distance, briefly observing the surroundings of the crooked place.

He got up again and started to walk away just like that but left the lamp behind as well.

“… Where are you going?”

“Don’t move from here.” He disappeared rapidly at the right of the hallway, an endless labyrinth of throbbing walls of slick red that shifted to dark rust. How did he get in here anyways?

Before knowing anything else, he finally fell into a more comforting sleep by the dim lamp. Although... the lurking noises from below never ceased.

****

The crowbar turned out to be pretty much useless weight on his hands. When the gray abomination came after him, all he could bring himself to do was a roundhouse kick and then just watch Michiko finish it off with her pickaxe. Michiko was seemingly more used to the job, even though not many minutes ago he helped tending her injuries because of the scorched corpse that fell on her brother and unwittingly tried to remove with her bare hands.

The body of a man, burnt beyond recognition from head to waist, fell from the second level on the top of Katou —who suffered first-degree burns on his face and hands— while they were investigating the place. As it turned out to be, that wasn’t the only smoking body they found, which explained the hot disgusting smell that permeated the whole building; they had seen seven bodies and counting, only two of them weren't burnt in any way, but the disquietening part of it was that they all seemed to have been burned very recently, probably less than some hours before they arrived. Of course, the building wasn’t free of monsters, they had to encounter them, but at the same time accomplish the dangerous task of exploring the whole place in search for clues of the missing guys. Finding bodies unceremoniously placed at random rooms without features to identify but their clothes was upsetting, to say the least. Couldn't help but to notice they all had similar clothes for some reason...

Aoba heard his own heart pounding loudly inside his head as he kept up with the pace of Mizuki and the others. He couldn’t get used to the sight of those horribly deformed creatures, not even to the look of their bloodied gray carcass. Besides, they all carried the nauseous scent of death everywhere. These things didn’t really eat people, they just killed and chewed flesh, they weren’t like the zombies from the movies or anything he’d seen before, as if their only purpose was to wander around and bite people to death.

The whole basement had four levels, each only accessible through stairs even though an elevator was built apart, but it was completely useless for the lack of electricity anyways.

One room at the bottom of the first level was locked tight, Mizuki asked Aoba for the crowbar to help opening it, as it seemed locked from the inside, even if it was unlikely to find someone alive inside the room. When they jammed the door open and they discovered a dark modest bedroom with two different beds, carefully they entered to the seemingly undisturbed place and observed that one of the beds had messy sprinkles of dry blood on its sheets, as if a body covered in cuts was clothed with them and then taken. Surprisingly, there were no bodies inside the room, not even under the beds.

Aoba walked around the room while his companions were examining the bed sheets and looking for clues; he moved his light to the nightstand next to the unstained bed. The rugs on the furniture had some very familiar-looking weaving patterns, but they had something like ashes and shards of broken pottery all over them. It was messy but altogether everything seemed so terribly familiar for some reason; he wondered why was this place so familiar... Those ashes smelled rather nice, like herbs, and it was somehow comforting considering all the remains of carnage they've been finding for the past few minutes. 

He brushed the ashes away lightly and discovered a shiny metallic object, a small silver key. Without thinking, he dropped it inside his pocket.

The group left the room as soon as they lost interest while snatching some medical supplies they found. There were no indicators that the boys they have been searching even passed through this place.

There were three different ways out of the ruined base, they would go through the one at the fourth level, it was supposed take them out to an abandoned parking zone, so Mizuki said they should all be ready to run once they went out.

After they went striding upstairs and managed to get rid of a couple more of monsters, Aoba stopped abruptly. He felt like throwing up all of sudden and so he leaned his back against a wall, breathing heavily while holding the nausea down. Mizuki was at dread but waited as his friend tried to calm down his sickness. Nor Michiko nor Katou gave any complaints, the blue-haired man was still taking in the terrifying experience.

Aoba closed his eyes and attempted to ignore the raw smell of decomposed flesh, maybe think about the fragance of the ashes from not so long ago... and for a second, there was no sound. He couldn’t hear the breath of his companions, not even the faint creak of the steel pipes within the cool concrete of the building. It sent a chill down his spine upon the realization it wasn’t silence at all. Something was gently touching his ear, and it came from the walls. It was soft and pure, and couldn’t belong to a place like this.

“… Can you hear that?” Aoba whispered, careful to not let his own voice disturb the almost inaudible tune.

Mizuki frowned and softly came close to his friend, looking back at the sleepy faces of the siblings who simply kept quiet and looked at each other in mutual confusion. Mizuki waited some seconds holding his breath, and slowly rose his brows. “It sounds like his song.”

“ _His_ song?”

“ _Clear_. When he sings, monsters don’t notice him, so we told him that if he ever got lost, he’d use his song as a beacon.” Aoba's eyebrow twitched. None of that actually made sense, but he should stick to believing Mizuki instead of making stupid assumptions on his own.

“How come monsters can’t hear him?”

The tattooed man shrugged, not bothered by it. “Beats me. But where is it coming from? From the outside? Or maybe within a neighbor building?”

"Wait... I can't hear it anymore."

"... Me neither. We gotta hurry then." Upon losing the sweet melody, Mizuki looked back at the siblings, Michiko was rubbing a clean handkerchief on her brother's burnt face.

When he turned around and asked Katou where was the third exit, Aoba looked past them and noticed something weird at the bottom of the hall. It shouldn’t be possible: they got rid of all the monsters on this level…

“Aoba-san, is there something wrong?” Katou called at him. It was moving, a shadow black, grotesque and huge started to sprint to their backs. It was different, it was bulkier, more monstrous than human, and it had nothing above its sturdy neck.

“MOVE!”, he screamed as he ran to push Mizuki and Katou out of the way. As he did just that, a tremendous force struck his chest and his feet lifted from the ground.

Instinctively, he held out his arms and received whatever caught him and felt the coarse and fleshy texture of the large body that just pushed him and promptly sent him flying across the floor. He flinched at the pain of that forceful impact. His companions called at him and he picked himself up and ran to the other side as the monstrosity chased after him. It didn’t have a head, and its body looked like a hideous hairless mix between a big feline and an ape, its claws… they literally looked like knives, he was incredibly lucky he was only attacked by the upper part of its body.

He reached the door of the elevator, the other side of the hall. Mizuki attempted to distract the creature by swinging the bat and hitting the wall to make a strong noise, but the large creature didn’t even budge. Aoba resorted to throw his crowbar to the thing, and the pointy end of it buried itself on the shoulder of the monster, only slowing it down momentarily. It bled, but it wouldn't die.

They kept on shouting to Aoba to run, but he didn’t see anywhere to. He couldn’t. It was only him against the sealed door of the broken elevator. His heart was beating so fast, and suddenly the image of his grandma flashed before his eyes. The crooked claws were so close, his brain made him anticipate the brief or slow pain of a deep cut… _how deep would they cut him though? Would they reach the bone?_

Before accepting his last disturbing thought, he fell back and his head hit hard against the floor. The ground below him moved abruptly.

For one last time he heard the echoes of Mizuki calling out his name, growing weaker and weaker behind a door of steel within a very small room of rust and water leaking from the ceiling. He was inside the elevator, it was going down and there were no buttons to stop it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did some minor editing in here as well. Nothing essential has been changed.


	6. You'd Know Yourself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at the End Notes in case that you wanted to skip reading this whole chapter again just to know the details that had been changed here.

They were only four levels. It wasn’t supposed to take so long. It wasn’t supposed to go lower and lower. They were on four fucking levels in this building. He remained inside the small obscure elevator that just kept on descending for several minutes. He kicked the door one time, the whole platform creaked sharply and only stopped for one second to resume its descent; he kicked a second time knowing it’d be useless, so he yelled in frustration. Aoba was a dread for leaving Mizuki and his company at the mercy of that sinister headless beast, and now he was drifting down to the unknown, _fuck, this elevator could even be taking him to the gates of hell itself and he couldn’t do a damn thing against it_.

He tried jumping up to the ceiling, climbing, but the walls didn’t offer him anything for support and he wasn’t tall enough to reach the upper trapdoor. The crowbar could have come in-handy for this situation, if only he didn’t throw it away. He did stab the monster, but he didn’t really accomplish anything with that, which only made him sick with frustration.

The elevator was descending faster, the cab was trembling and for a moment he thought it’d fall apart; he had to stick close to the wall left to the tightly shut doors. Only the electric light he carried allowed him to scrutinize the worn interior of the cab, most of the wall pads were eaten away by time and humidity, and the water that leaked inside gave away the red oxide of its irons. For imaginative minds, it was terrifyingly similar to blood. The cab kept on shaking relentlessly.

Praying wasn’t an option, he wasn’t raised as a religious person and his grandma was anything but religious, but she never discouraged him from it; but he wondered, would it bring him some relief if he started praying now? He closed his eyes and slowly sat down against the corner of the cab, wishing so bad for the shaking to stop, feeling the walls coming down to him, tighter, suffocating… His wet hands had a very distinctive smell, and dread invited him to panic. He couldn’t tell if the warm crimson was even his own.

He hated the feeling of fresh blood on his hands.

It stopped. The elevator stopped moving abruptly and a loud screeching opened way to a moist dense breeze inside the dark cab. He jumped in alert back to his feet, pointing his flashlight to the mysteries of the outside.

His own breath was noisy and disturbed the harmony of the watery echoes of the great blackness he’s fallen into. He was no longer at the wrecked refuge, there was no longer a big monster of flesh and claws, and certainly none of his companions were here as well. It was only natural to be so hesitant of leaving the elevator; what if he couldn’t return if he left?

Just for a moment he let his head pick outside, holding his only light close and aiming it to each corner he could. The place was a tight hallway; desolated and damp, walls were falling apart because of the water leaking from them and the air wasn’t even sickening, just sweltering and thick, as if the pressure of the depths was threatening to crush his skull. The shadows were so still and creepy, even with the energy of his flashlight it barely illuminated a anything at all. However, somewhere at the end of that path of murk, his eyes could distinguish a warm luminescence coming from there, dancing with the colors of dull fire.

Was it a sign of life?

He was doubtful about that weak source of color, besides, he was unarmed and mentally exhausted, it wouldn’t be wise to just go and explore on his own again. He stepped back into the elevator, he'd wait for its doors to close and take him back up, no matter how long it’d take.

He moved back in silence and looked at his left side. Someone, something, was there inside. _It_ was staring at him.

Something was _staring_ him, and his blood froze.

The reflection of himself was looking back at him, at least it seemed so. It didn’t have anything that should resemble human eyes, it was nothing but bloody buds pink flesh under filthy locks of long white hair, its skin was so cracked and rotten but his features were perfectly recognizable. Identical. However, no mirror would ever depict such a twisted image.

His feet couldn’t move, his mind couldn’t even understand what he was seeing, and before he could utter anything, a hand grabbed his face and its fingers started to dig into his cheeks. The skin on its fingers was falling apart like wet paper, they were grabbing his jaw forcefully as it kept advancing on Aoba, making him walk back. He observed its mouth moving, showing its yellowish teeth and black gums as it murmured in low voice a small amount of words Aoba was unable to understand, as if it spoke in an unknown tongue. Hollow echoes poured onto him like black water as he slowly lost strenght on his knees, unable to find the strength to put that scarred hand off his face; he couldn’t stop staring at those swollen sockets, he feared, they somehow stared back at him.

Aoba didn’t know what to do, his body was bent in an awkward position as his legs supported his unbalanced stance, his trembling fingers merely held unto the skinned wrists of the abhorrent double and tried to not faint as dread overtook his mind; he could feel a rotting thumb press against his lips forcefully, the thin scarred lips twisted into something that looked like rage, the disgusting thumb was pressing his front teeth. Aoba felt like passing out, his eyes were going to fall to the back of his head.

“Leave him alone.”

Before anything else happened, the face of the double seemed to turn to other side, responding to the gentle but demanding whisper. The softness of that voice was like white tender light tearing a hole through that shadow of flesh.

Those hands let go of Aoba’s face and his backside fell to the wet floor as if his whole body was like a ragdoll.

He heard the double walk away, but there were more steps than those of only a pair of shoes, leaving him in the weeping dark hallway. There was only solitude and silence after that.

His face felt so sore and cold. It took him several seconds to recover from that shock and take his sense of reality back. Took him several seconds to seize the horror and accept what just happened. The horror, real or not, had made him useless once more, and a sense of deep regret and shame made him sink his fingernails in his palms. Once more, he couldn’t defend himself out of fear. He’d rather be fighting a hallucination than not being fighting at all.

Slowly, he tried to get back on his feet, noticing with his light that he was dragged out of the elevator and now the door was closed. His jaw felt loose and it hurt to move it. He approached the door and examined around it, felt with his hands, in hopes finding of any sort of buttons on it, but it was useless. Seemingly he'd be trapped down here until coming upon another exit.

Finally, he turned around and sighed. He might as well try to figure what was the source of that dull light at the end of the hallway. But he didn’t really want to go, not if something like that hideous doppelgänger would be waiting for him further down this place. It wasn’t as if he had many choices left anyways. With only a gym bag of supplies and a flashlight tightly grasped in his hand, Aoba would only rely on his own arms and legs to fight now. But as he started to walk quietly, analyzing the corners of the hallway, he remembered what Michiko said about avoiding monsters, but to be honest, with all this paranoia he didn’t know if he’d end up having enough coolness to tell if there was a fight he could avoid or not.

Until now, the hallway had a few locked doors on its sides, and pieces of junk were scattered all over the floor, pieces of old and new machines that sometimes seemed like ripped apart rather than dismantled, he had to move some of them out of the way with his feet. Some of them, he noticed, were even complete bodies of robots, Allmates; from animals to humanoids, all just partially stripped from their synthetic skin, and as he kept advancing, the floor was completely flooded with them.

It was a large pond of artificial corpses lying ahead. It smelled strongly of sulfur.

And then, just for a moment, he thought about Ren.

It’d be impossible though. There’s no way he’d find Ren, of all Allmates, in this place.

What could they be doing down here though? Was this a junk dump site? It unnerved him beyond words, he felt like expecting any of those bodies move anytime. It wouldn’t surprise him, really. But he was also afraid of looking back, in case it could actually happen.

The amount of noises that filled the darkness made it uneasy to take each step. If he tried hard enough, he could listen beyond the water droplets some sort of heavy echo of iron hauling somewhere beneath the floor… it was really uncertain, maybe it was some sort of machinery working? The elevator took him here even though there was no real electricity working anywhere. More questions piled inside his head filled with confusion and fear.

He tried so hard to keep advancing to the weak orange light, at the turn on the right side, it should lead to the source of it. When he reached to it, there was only a lamp, barely shedding light to an equally disturbing-looking hallway. The lamp was just… there, forgotten on the floor, about to run out of life.

It was very strange, seemingly it worked with oil as fuel, as its small flame burned still inside its glass globe. He crouched and touched it. It was very warm. Whoever left it here couldn't be very far away from this spot, but Aoba was more concerned about what caused this person to leave the lantern here. He wanted to pick it up and save himself some battery, but maybe the person could return… should he stay here and wait?

He decided to sit down leaning against the rough wall. It felt strangely warm. Someone was definitely here, very recently. He wanted to believe that whoever that was would eventually come back.

Easier said than done. Even with the flickering flame inside the lantern to keep him company, the atmosphere was too creepy to even attempt to calm down. He could hear several steps from up and down, and… they didn’t sound much like human steps. He didn’t have any weapons either, so facing a monster while waiting here would be just plain stupid.

Sighing, he simply picked himself up and looked at the Allmate remains. He grabbed a humanoid leg that was torn from its former body and decided to use it for now. He walked further away from where the elevator was.

“ _Give it back_.”

Aoba flinched. With cold sweat running down his face he looked back as his fingers tightened on the iron limb. That whisper didn’t echo, it directly caressed his ear but it didn’t leave trace of warmth. He didn’t want to stay to figure out.

Running away didn’t make it better. Besides all the accumulated noise from below, he could hear something of greater size, not walking, creeping faster as he started to sprint with ice in his veins. It sounded like the grinding of a heavy body of steel dragging itself against the rusty ground.

He kept on sprinting, using his own flashlight to search for any turning corner, he didn’t which direction, as long as he could get away.

Right, left, left, right, left, several dead ends… the place was seemingly an endless labyrinth, the hallways looked all the same and all the doors were closed, he couldn’t even tell for sure if he’d be able to track his way back to the elevator. The horrible piercing sound kept crawling after his steps. If he looked back he wouldn’t see anything, but the screeching noise was still present.

His body mindlessly knocked against doors, his hand twisted many doorknobs, all of it unsuccessful, he began hitting and kicking at them if he was given the chance.

He was at another dead end and a rusty old door that looked just like the others, he was running out of breath. Instinctively he twisted the handle franticly, until a very relieving _click_ sound gave away what he was desperately hoping for. Violently he pulled the door open and didn’t think twice before entering and shutting it behind his back, bracing himself for the impact.

Eyes remained tightly shut and he held his breath for some painful seconds, waiting.

Seconds expanded, his sweaty hand gripped the iron limb so hard it made his whole arm tense. There was only ominous silence after that. He started to gasp for air again after counting a minute of tranquility and moved his flashlight to observe the room he was in now.

There was a one-way staircase extending before his eyes and up. Stairs made of icy steel, and he couldn’t see walls or floor anywhere except from where the door stood; he was on a platform and there was only emptiness around him. No walls, no floor, just indefinite darkness, his light couldn’t reach the depths or sides of the place. And it was so quiet, as if all the echoes, all the noise from the hallways was swallowed by this void. He had no other choice but to go back and face those horrible hallways on his own, or just take the stairs up and venture his unlucky self to find something even more terrifying at the other side.

Once he took the first ten steps, he realized there was truly nothing below him. There was no echo, just the small sound of his steps taking him up to the unknown. He even attempted hitting the steps with the robotic leg, and it produced just a weak clank. The place felt hot though.

Finally, his light touched something, a platform with another door. This door was different from the others, which were metallic and had their paint partially peeled off by the humidity; this one seemed to be made of wood, and it was far more simple-looking. Its sight was almost comforting, in a way; he didn’t know if it’d even be unlocked, but it wouldn’t hurt to give it a shot. When his hand grabbed the round bronze knob, his heart grew anxious finding out how easy it was to open. As he pushed it gently, the first thing his eyes detected was another light coming from the inside.

A person was inside, sitting on a large old couch of leather in front of a small table with several magazines and books on it, and a tender candle was lit on the top of them. There was also a desk and a door behind it with the picture of a tooth on its glass window. There was also a third door on the opposite side…This was obviously a dirty-looking but also strangely normal reception room. But the moment he closed the door he entered from, the person on the couch jumped and dropped the book he was reading, not in fright, but surprise.

He first noticed that this person wore a gas mask and a dirty white coat.

“Master!” His high-pitched voice filled the room and in a swift motion, he jumped over the small table and ran towards Aoba with arms wide-open. But surprisingly, in the last moment, the masked man stopped just inches in front of him and awkwardly just stood there while crying: “I'm so glad to see you again! I thought I was lost for sure! I was so scared, Master!”

Aoba had to back away a little, trying to remember the name of the white-haired man. He was so brimming with energy and fear, and his speech seemed so childish… Ah yes, and now he remembered that Clear used to call him _‘Master’_ …

“C-clear?” he stuttered, still taken aback.

“I’m so glad! You seem to be on better shape now! I’m so sorry I wasn’t there when you came back to your senses! It must have been horrible to travel all this way!”

“Well, I can’t really say that it’s been easy…” _It’s been the worst_ , he internally told himself. “Clear, where is Noiz?”

The gas mask man looked down, and Aoba guessed the response right away. “I’m so sorry, Master! Noiz-san fell into a deep dark hole from one of the buildings we explored because the structure was very frail, so it all came crumbling down over us. I couldn’t find him ever since then, even when I jumped right after him into the same hole. I’ve lost the sound his voice, and all the other voices too” said Clear with his tone increasingly distressed. “It’s been so awful, Master! Suddenly every path kept on changing and it got so scary and I couldn’t find my way back no matter how much I walked! So I tried to do what Mizuki-san told me and I started to sing, waiting for anyone to come and find me. Master, I’m so glad it’s you who found me! Did you hear my song?”

“Oi, it’s fine. You can quit calling me your ‘Master’, after all—“

“No! Master _is_ Master, so it wouldn’t be okay if I don’t call you Master.” His insistence just made Aoba cringe a little, and Clear’s behavior was something completely foreign to what he had always dealt with.

“I’m telling you: it’s fine if you don’t” Aoba sighed, tensing up a little. He recalled hearing a faint tune when he was still with Mizuki’s group, so… that must’ve been Clear’s song. “And yeah, I heard your song, but then you stopped singing. I just happened to find you by sheer luck.”

Saying this made the masked man to wince rather dramatically, probably embarrassed for not making his search any easier until lately, both probably got into that conclusion at the same time. Before speaking further, Clear hopped back to the table with the books and the candle, and took something with his gloved hands.

“Ah yes, I’m sorry. I stopped singing because I found this notebook. Here”, Clear delivered to Aoba a small worn and dirty notebook with yellow binder. “It's a very strange and sad journal, and I also thought it was very interesting...”, he said although his voice didn’t sound awfully sad.

The blue-haired man observed that the notebook had its owner’s name and picture on the backside of the cover, and he couldn’t help to feel uncomfortable. “Isn’t this… a woman’s journal?” And… it was stained with blood in several pages; he didn’t want to suspect Clear without a reason, but he personally wouldn’t pick up a bloody journal to read to spend his time. Clear was fidgeting, as if he recognized the reprehensible implications of reading someone’s private journal. “Okay, I really can’t blame you, if you had nothing else to do. By the way, do you know how to find Noiz?”

“I’ve been looking for him, non-stop… until a while ago!”, Clear emphasized as he took the journal to one of his big pockets on his coat, “A couple of days ago I thought that I’ve heard Noiz-san screaming, but now I can’t hear anything. I should be able to hear him, but I can’t! I couldn’t even hear you coming! This place is horrible!”

The misery in his claims was obvious, and he sounded like a scared child, but then again, he wasn’t wrong about this place. Aoba didn’t want to abandon him; Clear was a friend too, if he recalled his actions correctly. It was Clear who helped him rescue his grandma once…

Clear couldn’t be a bad person, he knew; suddenly he felt terrible for doubting of that just a moment ago.

“We’re going to get out of this place, I promise. You, Noiz and me… So I’m going to ask you to be strong now even if you’re feeling tired, is that okay, Clear?”

Energetically, the gas mask man nodded. “I’m not tired, Master, but we will do just what you say. You may take the lead.”

“… Could you please just call me by my name?”

“I can’t.”

Aoba scratched the top of his head, tightening his mouth for a bit. “… Fine, do as you like.”

They decided to go right away, Clear suggested the door from where Aoba just came from, because he declared that he thoroughly explored both doors and said it was a labyrinth without exit. Well, he had days to explored the whole place —given those facts, Aoba offered him to drink from the water bottle he carried, and Clear simply answered ‘ _Yes’_ but never lifted his mask up to take a sip—…and then said that he never saw the third door until Aoba came through it.

How couldn’t Clear see that door? It was practically in front of him while he sat on that couch! Naturally, he dreaded going back to those hallways, but with Clear on his side, he was more likely to endure it for the sake of getting out.

When they treaded down the stairs of the enigmatic dark space that connected one side to another, Clear asked Aoba why did he carry an extra leg, but before he could answer, he was presented a survival knife; it was certainly a more practical object than an Allmate leg, but the thought of using such a thing to actually stab living flesh made his stomach shrink.

Seeing the hesitation on Aoba’s face, Clear placed the knife back in his pocket, clearly regretful of offering that weapon, so he apologized for being so thoughtless. Aoba insisted it wasn’t the big deal, but it only made the masked man apologize more tearfully.

Quickly, Aoba discovered he hated to hear him cry, so he rushed himself to change the subject.

“I heard from Granny that you’ve been very helpful when everything went to hell. Also… I know that you’ve been looking after me while I was in bed.”

“Yes, and I'm happy to see that you have recovered so fast, Master. It almost feels as if you became a new person.”

“Really?”

“Well, you have changed a lot since last time you were in good health, Master. Back then you used to be more… colorful, energetic. Now it feels like you're more serious.”

“... I didn’t notice any of that. I guess we owe that to the fog and these ugly things that came with it. But I bet it's much better than being in a vegetative state, no?”

“ _Vegetative_? You mean like something to eat?”

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Then… what does it mean to be 'vegetative'?” It sounded like genuine curiosity, Clear wasn’t trying to mock Aoba in any way. That naiveté was something strange, but in a way kind of adorable.

“Uhm, you know, it’s when someone spends so much time in bed without doing or thinking anything, that's usually called a 'vegetative state', but that's all I can say because I don't actually know so much about this. I may be making-up stuff, so I don't think I can tell you exactly what it is.”

“Ah, so it’s like being paralyzed?”

“… Sure. I mean, I don’t think it’s too far from what I'm trying to explain.”

“But it wasn't like that all. Actually, Master, you thrashed a lot while you were sick. Although... you did sleep a lot during most of day! I guess that's something!”

Aoba tensed up. After hearing what Clear had to say, he felt scared to know the extent of the damage, the great void he just escaped from.

Also it was distressing to evaluate his own emotional changes. He knew that so far he tried to do his best to remain the same as before, even with the grim circumstances surrounding his current life. People changed to their living conditions, but he somehow worried over that. He was worried of not being able to be like the Aoba he was before this disaster took place.

Why was he so stressed about it though? It was natural to change, and what Clear mentioned shouldn't be affecting him this much...

He decided to give a different turn to the conversation, as he grew quiet after slowing down their descent from the sinister steps.

“So, Clear, you and Noiz were actually looking for the source of a call from a Coil, right?” he asked, remembering Mizuki’s explanation.

Almost as sudden as the new topic, Clear’s attitude changed, his voice loud and careless like a kid’s. “Yes! It was a very strange recording, and it turns out that the caller's ID belonged to Mink-san.”

The young man twisted his mouth. “… _Mink_?”

“Yes. But the one who called wasn’t Mink-san at all! Mink-san shouldn’t be here in North District, but with the other survivors at the Eastern District. That’s why it was so strange to begin with.”

“Wait a minute… I think I’ve heard that name before. Wasn’t Mink the leader of Scratch?”

“Yes. We all used to live together before Master was taken to the Western District with the half of the people.”

“Huh… So that’s what it was.”

Apparently, Clear didn’t know. Also, it was slowly coming back to him in reaction to that name, remembering the state of that refuge, the room he visited… a new fear was being born in the back of Aoba’s mind. It hit him immediately. He’s seen the man before, and for this small revelation, Aoba bit down his lower lip and frowned. _Of course he remembered Mink._

However, he couldn’t bring himself to tell the truth to this sweet innocent guy. People died, and it was nothing he wanted to explain to burden his soul any further.

“And then… who was the one who made the call?” Aoba resumed asking.

“We don’t know for sure. There was something like a voice, but  we couldn't identify who it was. Though the ID belonged to Mink-san, the sender's name was changed to _Captive Princess_. It left that message called to your Coil, Master.”

“Captive Princess?” The name was terribly familiar. It couldn’t be just a coincidence. He remembered receiving things from someone named like that. _What was it…? A game…? Yes, a game application_. That game application used to be important because it predicted certain events before he lost his memory.

“All we gathered was that this person was using Mink-san’s Coil, but we haven’t managed to find the person or the Coil itself. And then we fell into this hole. But it was very strange that we got lost, because Noiz-san and I fell through the same hole. It’s almost like the building changed itself just to separate us into different routes, as if it wanted to keep us apart.”

_As if it wanted?_ The implication of a place having will of its own —or being legitimately haunted— wasn’t too unbelievable given the actual fucked-up circumstances, but Aoba wasn’t the right person to elaborate.

“… That’s weird”, he breathed as he passed through the last step, staring back at the black gasmask on the white young man. “But we will find him, I promise.”

On a second thought, he didn’t really want to go back there, but having someone on his back to look after his life would serve as encouragement to get this shit done… Maybe it wasn’t too late to ask Clear for the knife again.

As he slowly opened the door and let his flashlight illuminate the dark damp hallway full of trash and rust, but another light joined his. Clear took out a flashlight of his own, and it was a lot bigger and brighter. And of course, Clear expected him to lead, _but where?_

They walked uneasy on the endless turns and sharp corners of the metallic hallways. It was so noisy beneath them, and Clear seemed to freak out when he pointed out to the torn remains of several Allmates. Aoba wondered if the thing that chased him away just minutes ago would still be here or if it was merely a dirty trick played by his own mind.

His eyes were starting to hurt, getting tired of following the scarce light they had in hands because no matter how better it was to have two lights, it was still too sinister to let their guard down. Aoba held the robotic leg a little less tighter until he dropped it, realizing how inconvenient it actually was. Until they spent walking for almost ten minutes in disturbing silence, Aoba noticed how close Clear was on his back, his shape was tense and, for someone who wore a mask, he was so visibly frightened. The blue-haired man felt so awful for this, because he had honestly no idea where was he going anyways.

After a while of taking random turns, Clear shyly pulled the sleeve from Aoba’s dirty sweatshirt, and he proceeded to ask in a very small voice: “Shouldn’t I try to open one of the doors?”

Words couldn’t describe how dumb he felt after not considering trying that at all, because he already gave up on them after so many failed attempts of doing it… and now it reminded him that before falling into the elevator he found a silver key.

He showed it to Clear before letting him try on the nearest one, and he tried it immediately, but to no avail. He wasn’t surprised it didn’t work. What were the chances anyways? Clear simply returned the key to Aoba and began to search inside his coat’s pockets. He said he had found a different key as well.

The key he presented had a very peculiar shape. Its head seemed to have the form of animal ears. Rabbit ears. It seemed silly at first sight, but then again, a key was a key. He couldn’t believe his surprise when he found out that at the moment the key was inserted, the door was already open, as if it was never locked to begin with.

It was troubling and stupid, they were both so sure the door was locked just a moment ago.

Aoba took the initiative to push the heavy black door in, but before venturing, Clear once again pulled from his sleeve to attract his attention once more.

“Master, can I ask something from you?”

He thought it was weird, but he didn’t feel like he could deny anything to such a gentle mannered voice. “… I guess? What would you want from me?”

“When we find Noiz-san and return back to our home, I want to show you something very important, if that’s fine with you.”

“If it doesn’t turn out to be anything creepy, it’d be fine. What is it about?”

“… It’s a safe pass inside the old Platinum Jail.”

Aoba’s eyes widened. “Platinum Jail? How would you know? I’ve been told it’s impossible to get inside there… Why would you tell me about this of all people?”

“Master, there’s something very important that you need to find inside that place, and I can take you there, at least I can try to protect you—”

“How would you know that? And what is that thing I’d want to find inside there? Tell me” His heart was racing and his nerves were on the edge. “What is it?”, he asked again.

“… I can’t say.” The masked man’s voice was weaker now.

“Clear, have you told this to someone else?”

“Yes.”

“To whom?”

“Tae-san. I always obeyed Tae-san’s orders because she’s reliable and brave, and also Master’s grandmother, but Master’s orders will always be above anyone else’s. Master’s safety will always be above anyone else’s.” Even though the gas mask was partially muffling its sweet broken voice.

But right now he cared more about the matter of his Granny, the fact that she kept on insisting that he shouldn’t go into Platinum Jail again, even though she knew from Clear that there was indeed a way in. If she knew, then the other people who died trying… she didn’t tell them a thing, neither did Clear.

But of all people, why was it so important whether he’d go into Platinum Jail or not?

“Clear—”

“Forgive me, Master. I can’t tell you more than that. I don’t even think it’s a good idea to take you there. But… it’d also be wrong to keep you from going there. You 'll have to go there eventually. I know you have to.”

“Would you tell me why?”

“… I can’t.”

He clenched his expression, gulping saliva. “Then… I order you to do it.”

“… I said I can’t. Anything but that!”

 “Just… what are you hiding from me? _Why?_ ”

“I’m sorry. I don’t want you to get hurt anymore. Enough is enough, Master. I swear, I'd do it if I could.”

It was hopeless. Demanding more from Clear would only make them put unnecessary edges between them. Behind that gasmask, he pictured a face on the verge of crying. It was all so unfair, because he was getting frustrated while Clear was in grave conflict with himself. Nothing would change the fact the Clear was feeling forced to conceal the whole truth from him, and deep within his mind he knew Clear should have very good reasons for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a more significant edition in this chapter, prominently on Clear's dialogue with Aoba (now it's less annoying and makes a lot more of sense), and one tiny important change about the story of the mysterious journal, because I don't think I ever elaborated the circumstances in which it has been found by Clear.


	7. If You Don't Remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter might be a little confusing, messy and misleading, as most of chapters I've been writing so far. Anyways, thank you so much for keeping up with me, even though my english is quite limited in many aspects.

“I was wondering about that song of yours. Where did you learn it?”

Clear slowly turned to the query, the tunnel they entered into has taking them on a long curve hall that had no other discernible features than the iron chains extending all over the path of uninterrupted darkness. The door they previously entered took them to this place, and they've been both quiet until Aoba made the question, inappropriate as it could be after a tense discussion with the gas mask man. It wasn’t that he felt any less tense about their previous conversation, but with the overpowering darkness around them, he simply needed to talk to someone, otherwise he’d surely go on hysterics.

“Ah, that's the Jellyfish Song. It's a melody I came up with after my grandfather talked to me about the jellyfish. I used to always sing it for him, before he passed away.”

“… I'm sorry.” He actually kind of forgot about Clear mentioning his grandfather. “So, _the Jellyfish song_ , huh? That’s pretty impressive, I mean, that you composed a song all by yourself. Did you just do it for your grandpa?”

“My grandfather was the only person who raised me, and for a long time, the only person I could call my friend. I only used to think about him when I sang… but now I do it when I think about all the new friends I made.”

“I see… I can relate to that feeling, I suppose.”

Aoba wasn’t really a stranger to solitude. There were different types of solitude, and he understood that Clear used to be lonely for some time before they met, as far as he implied.

“I'd like to hear your song again, if that's alright.”

“I'd sing it for you as many times as you'd like, Master.”

“... Oh.” It was embarrassing, but nice nonetheless.

Again, they both jumped in fright when the metallic ground started to shake beneath their feet, a loud ear-wrecking scratch coming from below wormed at an inconsistent speed. By the sound of it, it was obviously a very large body, and it was dragging chains to where it went. Instinctively, Aoba followed with his light the noise coming from the under as Clear’s hand kept on clinging tightly to the sleeve of his hoodie; it was a reassuring feeling.

The sound dissipated under the wall of the tunnel, the light was unable to follow.

Aoba exhaled the breath he was holding the entire time they heard the sound. But when they turned their lights back to their course, he saw something… red.

“W-what is that?”

It was only partially red, it was huge and it had little white stools both up and down stuck behind the large openings of crimson. It didn’t take Aoba long to figure what it was as a whole.

“… Ahh. It looks like a huge mouth!” Clear said, in a rather fascinated tone. Aoba, on the other hand, felt disturbed. The giant wide-open mouth looked very realistic, he could swear that the flesh of those bruised lips looked like it was pulsing, and if he heard carefully enough, there was a breathing sound coming from it. It was wide enough to fit an average-sized adult inside.

Worst of all, this abominable mouth was at the end of their route.  

Maybe they should go back and try a different door…?

“It’s… —Clear! Clear, don’t!” he yelped, but Clear walked too close to the giant thing; his gas mask was just above the large teeth, and with his flashlight he illuminated a piece of sickly purple meat hidden just inside the mouth.

Apparently it also had a tongue to match the enormous measures of the oral cavity.

“It seems like there’s a door inside, Master!” Clear exclaimed, with his hand he signaled Aoba to come closer, but he was very reluctant to do so. When he observed from a lesser distance, he noticed it wasn’t just a mouth, but an entire palate, a full set of teeth… and everything was made of something that resembled real flesh. But just behind the pink uvula, he recognized a normal room with a normal door. “We should go in. It seems like this mouth won’t close.”

He didn’t want to go inside it, just looking at it was disgusting enough, and the smell was unbearable. But Clear was already with both feet on the huge mouth. This was a bad idea. Couldn’t they just go back and take a different room?

Clear extended his hand towards him, expecting that his ‘Master’ would come as well. After some seconds more of hesitation, Aoba shook his shoulders and took the gloved hand, being pulled inside the titanic-sized mouth, very carefully his foot stepped on the great teeth as he observed that the whole cavity was red inside and the air was moist and sickening; its odor was even more terrible, something like garbage combined with blood.

“Ugh, fuck… I was hoping this was just a creepy ornamental mouth…” said Aoba as he attempted to not slip on the yielding surface of the big tongue, to his surprise, it was like a giant sponge and his shoes were getting soaked in warm liquid. It was gross and realistic enough for him.

With the help of Clear’s balance, he managed to get through it faster; his companion was unexpectedly firm and strong, he didn’t budge for a single moment, so he was incredibly helpful while walking him in the swamped mouth.

They arrived to the solid ground beyond the sinister palate, and Aoba had to gasp for air, he even coughed, feeling he’d throw up at any moment. He remained crouched for some minutes while Clear silently waited for him to get better. Aoba coughed more violently, but only managed to drool instead of throwing up anything; he didn't think it'd affect him so badly. After feeling less sick, he took out the water bottle inside his bag and drank half of its content. The water was warm and unpleasant, but it was better than nothing.

“... Master, it wasn’t good for you to leave the refuge.”

Those words weren't mean to sound condescending, but he instantly related it to Mizuki's repetitive concerns.“I'm alright.”

“No, Master. You really shouldn’t have left. It’s not good for your mind and body, besides—”

“I get it! I… —you’re not the only one who says that. But I really want to find Noiz, you see? This place is horrible, and maybe I wish I didn’t leave my room, but right now, this is something I want to do! It’s pointless to tell me I shouldn’t have come. I already made it this far and I even managed to find you on my own! So, why would you tell me that when we're way too far from any refuge?” He didn't wanted to appear angry again, but that was something he wanted to pull out of his chest.

“Right, I’m aware of that; but Master, I don’t think you’ve fully recovered from…” and suddenly, Clear stopped the track of his words, as if he forgot about the rest. “—I’m sorry.”

_There was something Aoba was missing_. And he was being kept away from it. Not only that, but Clear was reluctant and afraid of telling him what it was. Aoba couldn’t bring himself to question the man behind the gas mask, either because of his own fear of knowing or because Clear would hardly say anything else.

He stood up and moved towards the door made of wood, and before trying to pull the handle, he stopped. The skin on his neck and back had goose bumps.

 “… I’m hearing something behind this door.” Aoba muttered.

Clear leaned towards the door. “Yes. They’re like whispers…”

Indeed, they were whispers, but too muffled to make out, and by sound of them, they were several voices.

For a second they stopped. Aoba’s muscles tensed.

It only took one second to twist the handle of the door and open it. Unsurprisingly, it was dark inside, and it looked like a tunnel… but there was something wrong with the walls and roof. Their surface was jagged and it was colored like peach and some darker tones. Somehow, the atmosphere felt even damper.

Making sure no monsters were on the way, he entered the tunnel along Clear, and the whispers came back, stronger, like a violent breeze surrounding both men.

Then Aoba realized with dread what the walls were made of.

“You gotta be fucking kidding me.”

Mouths. Hundreds, thousands of mouths. Each mouth moving on its own, gritting their teeth, sticking out their tongue, moving their dirty lips. The walls were made of throbbing bruised skin and the noise filled and thickened the air.

They extended without pattern or apparent order and, for their limited motions, they had an uncannily human way to move, at least he’d think that way if it wasn’t for the fact that the whole scenario was absolutely nightmarish to say the least. Many of those unsightly cavities were drenched in saliva, and he felt some of the gross water sprinkling down to his head, so he had to cover himself with his hoodie.

Clear, it was hard to tell how terrified he truly was, his face was an enigma behind that gas mask that hardly served any other purpose besides concealing his face. Clear took out from his pocket a long object and opened it, revealing it was his vinyl umbrella. Maybe Clear was really calm behind that mask.

The whispers were becoming louder. Aoba felt tempted to kick a dozen of the thousands of mouths that decorated the wall on his right, but he also feared the possibility of them biting him back. The flesh was ill-looking and hematomas of purple and red formed on several places, and each one moved indepently from the every other. It all led him to accept this tunnel might be made of real skin… but, why? And skin from what, exactly?

Then again, what were these words they were all saying? Were they even alive? Were those words important?

“I can’t understand a thing”, Aoba muttered, taking cautious steps to the other end of the tunnel.

“It’s a foreign language”, Clear answered.

“Yeah, I thought so.”

It made his skin crawl noticing how infantile voices could be heard among the adult voices. All the childish voices whimpered the same words, he thought. Aoba frowned and tightened his jaw; the last thing he needed in this horrible place was the voice of a child to pop up randomly.

Clear walked close to him while offering his space under the vinyl umbrella, even though the leaking was scarce, it gave him some sense of protection and he appreciated it.

Their lights found the end of the tunnel quite fast, compared to last time. The entrance to another room had another wooden door, but this one looked somewhat fancier, its color was lighter and it had some minimalistic details carved on it. It looked like a door meant for a rich house, or at least, it gave Aoba that feeling. That door in particular looked so out of place…

Aoba noticed his shoe’s tip hit something. A long piece of chain. It made an unusually loud sound that echoed all throughout the grotesque path.

The whispers suddenly stopped. Silence swallowed everything, even their breaths. At the same time, both he and Clear stopped as well, looking around. The mouths weren’t moving.

“ _Aoba._ ”

He turned to Clear, but for a moment, he completely forgot that the masked man had never called him by his name. Clear’s grip on the umbrella’s handle quivered.

“ _Aoba_ ”, he heard again, but couldn’t detect from where was it coming from. “ _Aoba. Aoba._ ”

Now there were two voices.

“ _Aoba._ ”

Five voices.

They were whispering again, all joined, all uneven, all in different tones. But there was only one single word they pronounced. Before knowing it, his whole body was shaking, as the mouths found their own unique endearing way to call out that name. He wanted to cover his ears.

_AOBA._

“Master, let’s hurry!” Clear sounded more demanding, and he quickly pulled the blue-haired man’s arm to leave the hellish spot at once.

_AOBA._

Before that swift action, Aoba’s knees were yielding already, his vision blurred and his hand dropped his flashlight. He was so afraid, the threatening sensation of something huge and sharp thrust upon him was making him tremble, and couldn’t understand what it was exactly. The seconds that took his companion to drag him to the door felt like minutes, even if it was merely for a split second.

_AOBA._

For an evanescent instant, his whole body burned in darkness. His insides were tearing apart, his throat was split open and he was unable to scream, and it hurt to breathe. All his body was cut in the most painful sensitive places, each piece of him palpitated angrily. He couldn’t cry out no matter how hard he tried.

He felt like death.

_AOBA._

_IT HURTS_.

“Master, please pull yourself together!”

Panic. Next thing his mind processed was the gas mask huffing over his face, while two hands gently shook his shoulders. Second, that he was in a different room, he was on his knees breathing heavily while soaking in sweat. His head hurt, but lucidity was fastly returning to him.

He tried to brush off Clear’s hands from his shoulders, but realized a very unpleasant coolness running through his chest and arms; his skin was hypersensitive to the friction of clothing, the feeling of his own sweat and the warm air around him, and his head was in fever. For some seconds he tried not to move at all.

What was that? It flashed so fast through his mind, like a painful electric wave.

Aoba quickly tried to shake off that feeling, not entirely certain of what it was. They were at the other side of the door. The interior was dark as well, but also dry and… lacking anything supernatural; it looked like the interior of a house. Then he noticed they had only one flashlight left. 

There was no way they’d go back to that tunnel. Even Clear was apprehensive of him just for contemplating the idea.

“This place just keeps getting creepier and creepier…” Aoba muttered, slowly pushing himself back up, flinching at the soreness on his unharmed limbs, “We need find Noiz soon, or this place is going to drive me insane.”

“… Yes.”

Clear was in possession of their only flashlight left, while his other hand was holding the bent transparent umbrella; maybe he broke it while getting him out of that horrendous place. Although he should admit it was a horridly curious thing, since they entered this new room and shut the door behind them, none of the haunting whispers could be heard from this side. Or maybe they stopped. He didn’t feel like finding out anyways.

The newly discovered place was infinitely less gruesome than everything from before. It was a huge room, probably a department of some sort. It was dusty and dark, yes, but it was mostly undisturbed, it had a living room with a large black screen and a variety of consoles and complements and on the other side there was a kitchen with stove, fridge, cupboards table and one single chair. It was surprisingly costly-looking, and he could guess it served to accommodate a rich young adult; Aoba thought it’d be pointless to ask what was a place like this doing at the end of this hellhole, because nothing he’s found ever since he left the elevator made any sense.

Again, Clear was walking forward, probably in silent acknowledgement that his ‘Master’ wasn’t capable to lead right now.

Something he shortly noticed about the walls, was the fact that they all had picture frames, but there were only the frames hanging on the walls, no pictures whatsoever. Probably didn’t mean anything, but he couldn’t help but to feel disheartened about them.

It was a department indeed, behind the kitchen there was a hallway that led to four different doors, one opened to the bathroom and other to the closet. The third one was locked, but they went to investigate the fourth one right away.

On the first try, they thought it was locked too, but Clear forced the doorknob a little further, and something snapped from the inside. Aoba gulped, expecting any kind of weirdness behind the door. Clear’s hand around his flashlight wasn’t tense anymore, he noticed.

The interior was just as dark as the rest of the department, but the air was colder.

This room was much wider than the whole department, and the floor softened the sound of their steps. Carpeted flooring. Almost immediately, he detected the smell of vomit. As they advanced, Aoba almost tripped on something, a long thick rope made up of extension cords, more like a mess of entwined cords, all of them seemed to be of different colors. Clear pointed out that the cords were all over the place, like a garden of cords, extending deeper into the room.

Clear moved his light to the center of the room, and they discovered something moving beneath the copious amounts of cords. It moved up and down softly like slumber.

It was human, it was moving. Aoba’s heart almost fell to his stomach.

“Noiz-san!”

The white-haired man went sprinting towards the body lain down, and Aoba followed clumsily since Clear was moving the light too much and it was hard to see, but he felt equally excited for finding the other young man.

They found him in a fetal position, and he was lightly asleep. He was also hurt and the clothes he wore were so ruined by dampness and dirt. He looked so young, yet his face was severely bruised on the left side, even bleeding, probably he cut himself with a sharp object on his cheek. Clear handed the flashlight to Aoba, while he removed the heavy web of cords from Noiz’s body, and the latter flinched, as if his sleeping blanket was taken away.

“… Took you long enough”, the breathless blond murmured before his eyelids started to flicker. He sounded so tired and in pain.

“Noiz-san, I'm so glad! I was fearing we’d find you too late!” In that moment when Clear crouched and grabbed the other man’s shoulders, his voice sounded so heartbroken, and, to his shock, Clear embraced Noiz just slightly, much to the latter’s discomfort. Maybe these two became more familiar while Aoba wasn’t around. “Ah, your face is covered in blood!”

Noiz was stiff, his small green eyes looked directly at Aoba, and his expression was hard to read. Noiz didn’t change so much from the last time he saw him; he had this unfriendly quiet mug adorned with several piercings, except his attire was far simpler than the punkish clothes Aoba remembered.

Aoba looked back at Noiz, who was still staring at him with that density, Aoba stopped and Clear did as well, waiting for him to take out something from his bag. The bottle of water. Also, he’d use the first aid kit as well. It just unnerved him to see that guy bleeding

His fingers reached out to the blond’s face “Those cuts are recent. Let me clean—”

“Don’t”, he grunted, it sounded threatening for a second, “Don’t touch me.”

“Don’t be childish”, Aoba huffed, and he took a piece of cloth from his first aid kit, and soaked it with some water. He’d give away what was left from the bottle to let him drink. He applied the cloth with utmost care, but that didn’t stop the youth from trying to wince away from the contact. Aoba saw how lightly he trembled.

It subdued shortly though, it a discomforting way, Aoba realized it must be Noiz focusing his stare to him while tending his small wound. While trying to distract his own gaze, he noticed the young man’s torn shirt, a dirty bandage on his arm.

As Noiz was given the bottle of water to satiate his thirst just even if just one bit, Aoba livened up and promptly asked: “Do you have any idea how to get out of here? Please tell us you do.”

The young man sighed weakly, but then his little brows furrowed, as if he was suddenly pissed off about something said to him. “What’s with you? Why are _you_ here? You’re _not_ supposed to be here.”

Clear shifted uncomfortably from where he was crouching. Aoba stared blankly at the beaten young man.

“I came here for you”, he simply answered.

Noiz turned his face away; he looked more frustrated rather than angry. “… Are you _fucking_ with me?”

“Noiz-san…”

“Like I said, I came here for you. We’re going to take you out of this place, so stop being a brat about it.”

Noiz looked down and said nothing, or just swallowed what he was about to spit back. When Aoba finished checking on the blond man’s arm for any other wounds, Clear grew restless and urged them to resume their search for an exit. Noiz didn't seem to listen, even though Aoba was ready to leave as well.

“I just can tell by the dumb expression on your face that you don’t remember what happened. I’m right, ain’t I?”

Frowning, Aoba answered: “True, I can’t say I recall most of shit that’s been happening in the last few months, and I’m sorry for that.”

“Although... I’d never resent you for forgetting.”

Noiz knew something for sure, and Aoba became somewhat anxious about this. Maybe his words would soon help patching up his torn memories if no one else did; although he was also worried about the unknown element. Besides, Noiz was mentally and physically exhausted, and there was hardly any good reason to take his words seriously. But Aoba shuddered; for some reason, he thought again of what happened in the terrifying tunnel of flesh. There was literally no reason for him to go back to what he suffered when walking through that bizarre place of whispers.

They didn’t have to go back there, right?

“You’ve already gone through a lot, Noiz-san. Don’t push yourself too far.” Clear took the bandaged man’s shoulder again, but he flinched again. “… Does it hurt?”

“Yes.”

“I see… Sorry, please just bear with me for a little longer.”

Swiftly but with great care, Clear grabbed the other man’s body and positioned him to give him a proper piggyback; Noiz was so worn out that he allowed it despite his body language dictating opposition.

It got awkward after they went through the cords and back to the door they came from, and Aoba casually asked to the wounded guy how did he end up in that place, but he was rewarded with silence. Clear did the same, but the blond remained deathly quiet. Noiz was really tired, barely having the energy to hold on to the masked one.

They were back at the apartment place and checked on the door they previously couldn’t open, but while Aoba tried to use again the key he had in his pocket, he caught Noiz’s gaze on him, as if he silently judged every small motion.

“What?” Noiz hissed lazily behind the messy white hair of his friend. What an immature behavior.

“Nothing.”

Once more, the silver key was useless. He asked for the other key that Clear had in his possession in case it’d work again, and of course, the gas mask man told his ‘Master’ to search it within his pockets.

Those pockets were too deep and unsurprisingly filled with garbage, and he had to dig for a while until his fingers found an object resembling a key. It was the same silly-looking key from before, with bunny ears and all. What a curious thing it was, since he recalled Noiz’s wearing a cartoony rabbit mask when he was unwillingly challenged to a Rhyme match, and the online mode of his Allmates were all small rabbits.

Without thinking too much, he realized the key fitted perfectly and the door was easily unlocked.

Using the same precautions as before, he opened the door slowly, and they went through a tight hallway, it looked awfully familiar, with its rusty iron walls and the unceasing sound of water dripping. He didn’t like the feeling, but he guessed it’d always be worse.

At the end of the hallway there was another open dark space, but the density of the air was much heavier than previous rooms. Once more, a fear-inspiring blackness ruled their surroundings, and the only flashlight they carried didn’t do as much as illuminating a few feet of maroon firm ground in front of them. They walked very close to each other, and Aoba noticed Noiz’s hand on Clear’s shoulder clasped the white fabric with trembling knuckles.

When the light found the wall of the other side, they found a metallic old ladder sticking out from the wet walls. They extended indefinitely upwards, and airy echoes could be heard from where they stood.

“I can hear a gentle breeze coming from above. It must be an exit!” Clear exclaimed.

Despite the grim surroundings, such possibility brightened up the blue-haired. “… Seriously?”

“Noiz-san, do you think you can hold your arms tightly around my neck? They seem to be a lot of steps. Master, I'm sure you can help him from behind.”

“Yeah, but I think there should be a safer way to carry him through the stairs, he's very weak after all...”

The blond didn’t say anything, his hands were already clutching painfully on Clear’s shoulders, he was even shaking like a leaf, as if he was freezing. He started to gasp violently; Aoba feared he'd be having a stroke or something. But he failed to realize Noiz was reacting to this dark vast room, and soon he started noticing it too.

Something was terribly wrong.

There was an echo, but it wasn’t breeze. It was ponderous as a truck, its sound spreading and making the floor shake. It was dragging itself increasingly fast through a high-pitched scraping from the metal that covered their ground. It did not only make his ears ache but also made his heart pump faster.

It was coming closer.

“Hurry, hurry up!” Aoba yelled pushing Clear, who still had Noiz on his back and struggled with him probably not having enough strength to cling to him. Aoba was growing impatient and scared, the thundering sound coming closer to them. “Just make him sit on your lap, Clear! Come on!”

To his stomach’s dismay, it strongly smelled like blood.

Before Clear could quickly comply, Aoba’s flashlight touched something that  moved on their side. The strenuous noise of gigantic chains creeping close was followed by the squelching of bare flesh and a low animalistic groaning. Clear started to climb the steps in a rush with the paralyzed lad uncomfortably sitting on his waist, arms around his neck. It was amazing how easily it was for Clear to scale while carrying a person about his same size.

It was red, it was enormous. The first thing he looked at was at those huge lifeless pink eyes, monstrously placed on the sides of an elongated red head that didn’t resemble anything human.

In a heartbeat, he ducked as he heard the loud clanking of enormous chains, and one massive body of red meat passed over his head, and then he heard his masked companion cry out. The next thing that happened was his body falling on the top of Aoba with a harsh thud on his head. But Clear got back on his feet right away, fully alert.

He didn’t have Noiz anymore.

Frantically using his light to see the enormous beast, he discovered it had its dreadful head supported by a deathly human-looking torso and long red arms, wrists loosely shackled as they dragged long chains anywhere they moved, and within the skinless red fingers of the large left hand, the unconscious bloodied Noiz was being held.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd post that one picture I already made months ago about the monster that appears in this chapter, but in the end it turned out to be very inaccurate, so, yeah, I'm sorry for that. Ninth chapter will have an illustration, if not the eighth chapter.


	8. Dependence

Noiz was trapped within a titanic grasp made of reeking red flesh, and for only one second Aoba couldn’t think of anything other than jumping into action to save him. That was, until the gigantic animal face leaned down closer, clicking its protruding upper and lower twin incisors under its twitching nasal orifice that sniffed gently despite its horrific size; it gave away what kind of animal head the monster replicated: the head of a rabbit. It was a the skinned head of a rabbit.

Such sight made Clear take Aoba from his hoodie and pull him back with enough force to make the blue-haired roll through the watered floor, and since he still wore a ponytail on his head, the impact that touched his hair was more painful to him. The sensitive tips of his long hair sent powerful waves of pain directly to his head, and for some seconds he didn't move from the ground, fearing he'd faint for the agony.

_No_. He brushed the shock away; he grunted and crawled to where the flashlight fell, but from where it lain it illuminated most of the monstrous shape of that red beast that still held Noiz captive. It'd be inconvenient to move it from its spot.

Then Clear, on a defensive stance, approached the rabbit-head, and with no weapons in hands.

This was stupid, and Aoba’s blood ran wildly trough his veins as he observed the masked man take each step closer to the abomination. Didn’t he have a knife inside his pocket? What about the umbrella? —well, he left the umbrella behind when they found Noiz… but still, there was no excuse to get near that thing without plan.

“Please let Noiz-san go! I don’t want to fight.”

_Definitely Clear was out of his fucking mind_.

“You’ll get yourself killed! Get down!” Aoba screamed, hastily ran towards Clear and tackled him to the ground before the other enormous hand could strike the innocent white-haired man.

He forgot about the chains dragged by its shackles.

The motion of that strike didn’t hit either of them, but the chains that followed, one managed to hit Aoba’s thigh with enough force to make him yelp, but his mind was working with such a hurry and fear that he didn’t even give himself time to examine the blow added to the horrible throbbing of his hair-nerves.

Without even asking, he shoved his hand inside Clear’s pocket and reached out for the knife. The tip of his fingers first met with the sharp end, so he didn’t grab it from its handle right away. But he was in such a hurry, he didn't even care if he cut himself.

“Master, watch out!” Once more, they moved abruptly from their place as the tenebrous giant of flesh swept the floor with its shackled hand, this time Clear moved Aoba under his body and in its stead he received a powerful chain lash that resounded all around the dark room.

Clear didn’t move. Aoba’s grip on the knife was shaking, and when he pulled it out, he accidentally gashed on the white lab coat. Still, the faceless hero didn’t move; the blue-haired was speechless and feeling ill because there was no way to see in how much pain Clear would be.

“Master, are you hurt?”

Aoba didn’t answer, as he grabbed Clear’s sides to make him roll with him over the wet ground as another strike from that great arm flew after them. The fleshy fingers barely grazed them, and the realization that it was something that could touch them and kill them once again made Aoba weak on his legs. But Noiz would be killed too if they didn't do anything.

He could watch the giant’s red fist with Noiz’s head hanging over its thumb while his limp legs swinging below the little finger. He feared seeing that fist squeeze the life out of Noiz.

Clear had no trouble on getting up again, but Aoba had the knife in his hand.

This time, Clear ran against the monster to an impossible speed and attempted to jump  towards the fist that had taken Noiz. Aoba had to yell at him to stop, but it was proven futile, and the repercussion was dreadful, as the monster violently backhanded Clear’s body and sent the masked man flying over Aoba’s head.

His heart stopped. An impact like that could break bones, if not kill someone. Clear strayed far from the faint light, but Aoba couldn’t just contemplate seeing Noiz inside the grasp of that creature and wait for the most gruesome death to be seen. He had a knife in his hand.

No time to think, no time to pray, he needed to save Noiz no matter what. He needed to hear what Noiz had to say.

Couldn't tell if it was sweat or water what ran through his face as he sprinted to the rabbit-head with knife firmly held by both his hands. He dashed and nearly forgot that his thigh was hurt. From the dull light that came from the flashlight on the ground, Aoba could tell the glassy pink eyes of the creature were focused on the blond man in its hand. By ducking the movement of its arm thick as a tree, Aoba held his breath and aimed the small blade below the red monster's head, to where he believed a vitally important artery should be hidden. Its anatomy shouldn't be so different from that of a human, right?

When the edge found flesh Aoba closed his eyes with repulsion; he heard a high-pitched screech once the knife was deeply buried inside the giant’s neck, then something warm and pongy started pouring like water on his hands. The creature moved almost immediately, making Aoba pull out and creep beneath its arms and see if he could use the knife again on the other side of the neck and cut the other artery, even if he wasn’t entirely sure if he succeeded on his first attempt.

It was soon to believe it was good, he barely managed to slip to the other side of its neck, and suddenly a gigantic body of pulsing meat embraced him with enough strength he thought his arms might get crushed on his sides. All air was forced out of his lungs with one single deathly hug.

“AOBA-SAN!”

The giant captured him and how he was in the same position as Noiz.

No.

It was getting worse for himself.

He felt the grasp tightening more and more, and the blood was furiously rushing to his head, his internal organs were being squashed and his bones were almost on their breaking point. And now he was hearing a ringing sound in his ears, and rapidly he only wished to faint before all his insides were squeezed out of him. He felt so helpless and unable to get any sort of relief. His vision was going red, but he could hear someone on his side trying to force the giant’s fingers to open. Maybe they'd manage to break one finger, but it wouldn’t be enough. It'd be too late, he thought.

Fear filled him.

This was it. This was _death_.

He'd die a violent death and his remains wouldn't be brought back to his grandma.

_If only it could kill me faster than this_ , he pleaded inside his pained mind. He had given up so easily, all he could wish for was for the agony to end.

Aoba nearly blacked-out and as violent as his capture was, the breath returned to him like a punch to his chest, and his whole body started shaking. Clear had rapidly picked him up from the floor before anything else happened.

Guttural growling could be heard from where he was just retrieved. The rabbit-head wasn’t attacking any of them anymore although it still had Noiz captive. It was under the attack of someone — _something_ — else.  While Aoba was held in the careful arms of Clear, and the flashlight was still lying there, granting both men a fairly terrifying field of vision.

The creature that intervened and started to viciously assault the rabbit-head giant, was equally or perhaps a little less horrifying since it had the same size of a man, but for the way it moved, the way it grunted, it wasn’t human. It had ripped plenty of meat from the gigantic hand, cutting the white thick tendons with ease; that rendered its fingers useless. The rabbit-head struggled, and it even tried to bite the smaller beast back, but the blackened creature leaped to its head and attacked the huge pink eyes with its dark claws and large fangs. Blood started to sprinkle generously on the ground along the giant’s cries.

It was just like an animal.

And Aoba’s body recoiled suddenly, recognizing with dread the pale features of the smaller monster’s head, a human face merged with a wide bloody rotten maw and pointy ears on the top of his skull. It’s eyes shone yellow with the light shed by the flashlight. He’s seen those eyes before.

“… Again? _Y-you_ again?” It was the same monster he encountered at the abandoned school, there was no doubt about it.

Suddenly, he was brought back to his main concern, and he attempted to get off Clear’s care despite his aching limbs.

“Please, Master! You can’t try to fight again! If something else happened to you, it’ll be my fault!” The masked man gasped, restraining Aoba back to the floor as he shifted back to his feet. Again, it was hard to tell if Clear was in pain or not. “Let me take care of this now. Please don’t interfere.”

His ears were still ringing. It hurt to even move his arms, he thought he might’ve broken at least one bone. He even attempted to crawl when Clear dragged him farther away from the gore of the hellish battle developing before his eyes.

Clear had no place there, the black monster was tearing apart the red rabbit, but still, Noiz was there and in grave danger, probably dead… how would he know? That creature almost killed Aoba with incredible ease. There was really no way the poor lad should be alive still. But somehow, while the giant was trying to brush the canine-looking creature from its face, it seemed to always make sure to not let go of Noiz, keeping it as far and high from the attack as possible.

Aoba kept on crawling, gasping for air and fearing for another painful strike of those lashing chains it pulled back and forward with each violent movement of its large arms. In a moment of incredible bravery or stupidity, Clear had somehow managed to climb up the hand that restrained Noiz’s slack body, and with shaky arms, he begun to forcefully pull the thick fleshy fingers apart from the blond. But the rabbit, although still under attack, noticed right away, and moved its useless hand to brush him off. Aoba held his breath, tried to shut tight his eyes fearing the worst for Clear.

Another rasp growl echoed through the shadows, and Aoba listened to the sound of tissue being brutally ripped, accompanied with a louder shriek of an animal aware of its own slaughter. Clear was sent flying once again, with less force, but still ended up rolling powerlessly on the floor.

The fingers of the red giant were twitching, bleeding even darker, and Aoba crawled to where the feeble body of Noiz fell. He didn’t care about the heinous roar of two monsters killing each other, not even if it was taking place a few feet above his head; he needed to grab Noiz.

_Don’t be dead, please_ , he thought as he didn’t notice the movement of his chest breathing right away. Noiz’s face was painted red because of the humid flesh that kept him captive. He took the brat from the armpit of the lad and started to drag him sloppily from the monster’s reach.

For a couple of times, Aoba winced as the struggle of the wailing rabbit-head almost grazed his back, realizing the only thing that kept it from seizing them was the ferocious monster that continuously bit off chunks of meat and sliced the bigger creature deeper and deeper. There was no malice in those actions, just animalistic violence, canine instinct, or at least that’s what Aoba wished to think.

There’d be no distance to make him feel safe enough, but he wanted to check on Noiz’s well-being as soon as possible. With nearly no light to see to his direction, he could only feel the guy’s face with his numb fingers and faintly distinguish the shape of his bruised nose and closed eyes.

“Noiz…?” he whispered softly. A soft blow touched his face, and suddenly felt a hand touch the back of his neck, gently.

The lad was awake, debilitated and injured, but able to move himself, even if just for this.

And he could talk too, but those words were barely breaths against the skin on his moist face. “Aoba… This is not the world you wished for, is it? I know it isn’t.”

“What?”

“This is probably what I had wished for, though. It's because I don’t know how to connect to others... but you started it. You started to break through my skin, but I only kept on fucking up. I… I’m sorry. It’s my fault it turned out like this.”

It was as if Noiz talked in riddles. If he could see through the shadows, he’d be sure the face of the blond would be full of anguish. Aoba’s heart was beating fast, and a number of flashing images passed through his head; horrible gory images, the same images that violated his mind when he walked through the tunnel of flesh and whispers.

Ephemeral disgust and terror invaded his mind, but then the shame and guilt washed them over just as fast.

“Noiz… does that mean that you…? So, I didn’t imagine it.” He lowered his head down, placing his forehead against Noiz’s  collarbone. “Then, it’s my fault.” There was no use on telling himself otherwise, tears were trying to come out from his eyes, and his voice started to break. “I still can’t fully understand, not even remember, but if I was with you before everything went to hell, then it was _me_ who failed _you_.”

“…That’s bullshit.” Noiz mustered.

“Now, even if it hurts me, I want you to tell me everything I forgot about you and everything else I missed out.” His head lifted, even though he couldn’t see the brat’s face, he wanted to be looking straight at his lime green eyes. “I want to remember. Noiz, I'm sorry... _Please_ help me.”

The red rabbit fell to the ground, lifeless. Only the ghostly echoes of its last screech remained to haunt them. The victor standing on fours and blood-stained over the disfigured head was panting calmly, its dark long tongue sticking outside its fangs, as a dog would do.

Aoba was gently pulled up by the hands of Clear, and then noticed that one of the eye windows had a huge crack. He was going to say something, but Clear put his gloved wet finger upon his lips, sizzling. Because the red beast perished, everything went ghastly peaceful, except they could still listen to the pants of the other creature that still stood over the giant’s mushed sockets.

They were all aware of it, they could be the next to be killed, but the murderous monster had stopped moving and only kept on observing them. It just observed and waited.

“We have to climb the ladder before anything else attacks us.” Aoba whispered while keeping an eye on the creature, and he even noticed how it moved its thin pointy ears when he talked. But it was funny how he said that, as if he tried to exempt the canine-monster from that possibility.

It haven’t tried to attack anyone after that. It simply turned away and left into the undiscernible blackness of the wide room.

Aoba used this chance to run and get the flashlight that was still lighting on the same place he dropped it. As quick as he did just that, though pained by his nth near-death experience for today, he looked again at the fallen rabbit-head and took in the details of each violent scratch and bite disfigured the meat and probably cut through bone. Ordinary wild animals would hardly achieve something like this, he was sure. Nervously, he looked around in the darkness to see if the canine monster was still in the room, but Clear called him back. This time, they thought about using his jacket and Clear’s lab coat to secure Noiz’s weakened body on his back to climb the ladder with less problems.

It took them some minutes until they started to see the dim light of the fog-filled afternoon. They were back to the North District, and they happened to come out from the sewers near an abandoned water plant, not too far away from where Aoba last saw Mizuki and his group.

****

They kept on getting worse. These men, or rather, these _boys_. Many of them had such immature and vulnerable minds they should be accounted as boys. She was old, and she took care of them even when she didn’t have to, because they were _boys_. 

Some people her age would call it unfortunate, but time didn’t mellow her character, as it'd normally should do to most of elders; she didn’t know how or why, but it was never in her to grieve or yield. She was the one who could keep her cool in the worst situations, and perhaps that was also her main flaw. Of course, she was capable of showing sensitivity and love, since to her best intentions she single-handedly raised her grandson…

… She still had nightmares about him, about the things he went through and how she indirectly contributed to the tragedies burdened on him. Of course, she couldn’t say it aloud, her pride wouldn’t let her. It was rare when someone contradicted her, as rare as it was when she apologized. Apologies only came out when it was too late. 

Of course, her grandson wouldn't blame her anyways. Back when he was a teenage troublemaker, he’d snap back at her whenever they argued, and he used to have the nerve to call her out on her failures. But it was after the accident in Rhyme when he became more dependent of her, when the connection between his personality disorder and his Scrap power became evident and she decided to medicate her grandson for the sake of keeping him in line. She created peaceful days with her only family, but now she regretted her decision beyond words. 

It was probably too late to fix her own mistakes, and to her shame, Tae had made an irreversible damage to the person she loved the most.

Now all she had left was to wait and see. Those days with her family would never return, but she had already made it this far for his sake and her own.

When the recon group came back, Koujaku was still sleeping like a rock in his bed, and she promptly went downstairs as people starting rumbling through the floors for the early return. She only could wish they all came back in one piece; it’d mean less work for her to stress over.

The first one to greet her was Mizuki, who was seemingly unharmed. The girl of the shaved head had some minor injuries while her older brother seemed to have visible burns on his face, but they didn't seem to be serious. Mizuki hurried to give a brief recount of what happened, but she placed all of her attention to the grim blue-haired man right away.

He was standing there out of breath, his face and messy hair were covered in dirt and sweat; behind him there was the masked young man Clear carrying behind his back the german boy. Of course, the blue-haired saw her right away and his small dark eyes broadened slightly the second they met with hers, and he hurried to her, probably ready to pass out anytime.

He managed to give her a tired smile. She had never seen him smile before. Perhaps he truly felt glad to see her, or maybe he was mocking her? She wouldn't know.

“G-granny… I’m back. We did it.”

He babbled some things about Noiz, he was overwhelmed and his hands were trembling. She closed her wrinkly eyelids and sighed. And of course, she was glad of seeing _him_ alive, and she had trusted Mizuki to take care of him well while they were out. They also managed to accomplish their mission of finding the missing men, which was a great relief.

She told Mizuki to take care of the blue-haired just for a while longer while she ordered Clear to take the wounded boy upstairs. 

Clear and Noiz were occupying the apartment next to Koujaku’s, and they shared it with an old acquaintance of hers named Hana, who used to work as a nurse. She often helped Tae when it came to tend over the wounded or watch over a big number of patients. Hana was exceptionally helpful for being one of the few people with real medical knowledge in the whole building, and that was the main reason why Tae decided to let the blond youth live with her.

The german boy had several bruises on his body, most of them would not leave permanent marks, except the ones she found on his right arm. His right arm was found tightly bandaged and the cuts were previously cleaned to prevent a serious infection, but still, those were wounds that needed stitching and no doubt they’d add up to the other scars his body already had. To see him unconscious and wounded again only brought up the sour guilt she carried for the boy and everything he had to go through. This was not the first time she was going to nurse the kid back to health, neither it was the first time he got seriously hurt for something related to her grandson… but that wasn't the reason why she decided to be the one to take responsibility for this boy’s well-being.

It should have been tough for him anyways, given the unusual medical condition he was born with. It wasn’t healthy for someone like him to take such a great amount of risks every day; she was frankly surprised he wasn’t dead yet.

But when she left the boy under the care of Hana, the masked man approached her, and he seemed deeply troubled about something. 

"When we found him, he was feeling pain. But when we left that horrible place, he said the pain ceased."

One of her brows arched. "How?"

"The place we were... it wasn't a place you could normally escape, because none of it should be able to exist. It made real the things that are not supposed to be real, _even for me_. I couldn't hear anything either. It wasn't until Master found us that we found our way to an exit. Also... why did Master come for us? He shouldn't be able to. And he's behaving weirdly."

_Oh, so that's how it was._

"I agree with you. That recovery of his is not _normal_." she replied.

"... I see. Then, what could it be?"

If only she knew how to answer. Clear didn't always see things the way other people could, he was still like a child. Also, the love of a child was a thing to be cherished; she was sure that anyone under his care was in good hands.

"If he wakes-up, let Hana know."

"Yes."

When she left Hana’s apartment it was already pitch-dark outside the building. Youngsters were already doing their night watch downstairs, and besides, she needed to do a check-up on the other wounded people, not that she didn’t trust Mizuki learned to do a good job on treating people, but this was simply routine to keep things in order. And of course, she needed to see _her grandson_.

But just before that, she went back inside Koujaku’s apartment to check on him as well. She lit one candle, because he probably was still asleep if he forgot to do it himself.

He wasn’t in bed anymore.

She found the messy bed sheets and the cold food she left for him on the table was untouched. At the entrance, his shoes were still sited there. Tae frowned and called out for Koujaku once, in case he was still inside the apartment. There was no response. He wasn’t in the bathroom or in the guest room.

“That stupid man…”

It’d be understandable if he woke-up to find Mizuki downstairs, but he couldn’t be so careless as to leave his shoes behind and walk barefoot around the building... Then again, he probably could be.

She walked out of the apartment and descended by the stairs, thinking about reprimanding Koujaku, but more importantly, to have a long talk with the other young man. It probably wasn't going to change anything, but she needed to do it in order to fulfill up her quota with him.

One chill suddenly touched behind her neck. She hated when it happened, because it prompted her to turn her head back. She hated it.

A person dressed in white was at the top of the stairs. A person white as paper with eyes so dark they looked dead beneath the black locks of hair, they looked down at her with no emotion on their face. _She hated those chills_. Although this was the first time she looked at this person from such a short distance, and it seemed less ghastly than the last time, however, it didn't need to be a wraith to be scary. Those eyes have known her for a while, yet she couldn’t see any remnant of rancor or retained anguish, just a colorless neutrality.

“This is not your place to be. Leave”, Tae uttered, doing her best to sound composed.

Their expression didn’t alter after her words, but if she paid enough attention, their head tilted lightly.

Slowly, the white-dressed person walked away in direction to the apartments. But, with her heart ready to beat out of her chest, Tae followed at the best speed her old body allowed her to. Just to meet with an empty hallway. No doors were open and she heard none get abruptly closed.

A tremulous breath escaped her mouth, and her legs were yielding.

Somebody had let that one in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: I have changed a lot of things on Tae's POV. I'm sure that you will notice the difference.


	9. Kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There's some mild sexual harrassment in this chapter.

Sleeping would have been prevented by the fear of slipping into darkness again, but fatigue overruled any small resistance. His eyes needed this rest, he knew, and he was already lying on the couch from Mizuki’s apartment, or rather just the apartment he shared with other three men. The sound of the engines on the first floor resounded through most of the walls, but they didn’t keep him awake for long.

With the numbness straining his left leg and the comforting warmth of the couch, he started drifting off within minutes. He no longer minded the pain on his thigh; the lash he suffered almost left his skin bleeding, and luckily it didn’t break anything, but they said that the bruise would remain for a long while. He could take long walks though.

By the moment he shifted his sleeping position, his head was heavy and he already ran out of energy to move again. He still heard someone walk by him, probably Katou, who still didn’t find something to ease the itching on his face. Not long ago, he was visited by his Granny, but she just encouraged him to sleep well. Mizuki was probably still stitching a cut he got from the monster that previously tried to kill him before Aoba fell into that horrible elevator.Mizuki told him that monster gave them a hard time after he disappeared, but eventually managed to kill it with the help of Michiko and Katou.

And when Aoba had to tell everyone about his story about that dark place with the rabbit-headed monster, Mizuki didn't even question the veracity of such terrible events. He still recoiled of his own fear as he almost met his death just some hours ago. It barely felt real now that he wrapped himself in blankets, in a childish way, he felt protected by them, safe from any other harm.

Aoba hadn’t the dreamless sleep he wished for.

A peaceful nothingness that drowned his mind, a heavy blackness enclosed itself around him whispering sweetly at his ear, words he couldn’t comprehend, making him anxious. His body suddenly felt so cold and stiff, helplessly oppressed inside what felt like a cold steel coffin. Little by little, he felt like choking, as if some of that blackness was coming from his gorge and invading his mouth, forcing it open to spill his insides out.

It was then when he felt gentleness caress his forehead and barely brush the hair locks from there. He didn’t open his eyes right away. Fingers long and warm touched the left side of his face, but then… he slowly realized that the thing touching his forehead were actually the lips of someone. Just for one second, he opened his eyes and looked into a man’s slender neck and tattooed chest under a loosely tied red kimono.

He closed his eyes again, pretending to sleep. He didn’t know why. He couldn’t understand. He’d have liked to call out Koujaku for this, but somehow, he decided not to do it, he decided to let him be for this single instant of unwelcome innocent intimacy.

Aoba swallowed discreetly, realized his own knuckles were tense under the blanket, and he was sweating again under head and scruff. To conceal his own reaction after that kiss turned out to be harder than he thought. Such a small kiss was effecting new anxieties he forgot he ever had.

“Yo, I didn’t hear you come inside” That was Mizuki’s voice intruded, and abruptly, Koujaku separated from the couch, Aoba guessed, to pretend nothing happened.

Mizuki laughed weakly. “He’s pretty exhausted, I doubt he’ll wake-up even if we kick him out of the couch.” _Yeah, except that I'm wide awake already_.

Koujaku said nothing, Aoba could only imagine their expressions while having his eyes closed. He could hear Mizuki walking around the couch.

“You still look like shit, did you even rest?”

“No, not much really” Koujaku responded, his voice was particularly dry and lifeless. “But I’ll be fine. Tae-san has been keeping me company. How did you do this morning?”

They didn’t exchange words for some seconds, as Mizuki walked a little farther. He heard the movement of one chair.

“… There’s this thing, Koujaku. We investigated the first refuge from North District while doing our search. The place was made into a complete nightmare. I think they didn’t evacuate in time. We found some bodies in there and most of them half-burnt.”

That was an abrupt way to change topic, Aoba just pictured what kind of gloomy expression would his friend have while saying this. And he was a witness of his statement, the mental image of that place still sent chills down his spine.

“… That’s not right. It makes no sense, Mizuki. I found one of the Scratch people just two days ago.”

There was the sound of the chair suddenly moving.

“What? H-how? Why didn’t you say anything ‘til now?” Mizuki exclaimed, and then Koujaku sighed and started to speak slowly, as if trying to not mess up the order of his memories:

“It was before I passed out, you know. I forgot about it and I’m sorry. It was only one of them, and I encountered him while he was looking for supplies. We agreed to not bother each other, but he even told me that his group was safe and sound. But...” There was a pause.

“ _But?_ ”

“... He said their leader abandoned them a week ago and hasn't contacted them ever since. He went out on his own and prohibited anyone else to follow him, or at least that's what I was told. And I don't think that they've disobeyed him.”

_Their leader?_ Aoba frowned lightly while keeping his eyes shut. Not only that made him uneasy, but the fact that they still found that refuge made into a hellish slaughterhouse, was horrible enough. His mind alone couldn’t determine the meaning of it all.

“… What the hell? What? T-then, _whose_ bodies did we find in that place?” Mizuki sounded incredibly distressed by it.

“Who knows? But hey, _don’t listen to me_ , I’m actually more worried about that man.”

“You mean _Mink_? You never got along with him, why is that?”

“I’m not worried for his well-being if that’s what you think. He had strong leadership qualities, and it doesn’t make sense that he leaves his group out of the blue. He'd _never_ do that. _Something_ must have happened, and we should be worried about that.”

“That’s a good point.” Mizuki sighed heavily. “If you don’t mind me asking, why did you fight with him in the first place?”

“… That’s right, were they out when it happened?” Koujaku murmured, he sounded lost in thought. “… Now that I think about it, where did Tae-san go…?” He definitely sounded as if he was murmuring to himself.

“Oi, are you spacing out?”

By that moment of the conversation, Aoba couldn’t decide if was terribly worried for Koujaku or for what he was going to say. He felt he wasn’t going to like either of them.

“… He was interested in Aoba’s power, you know, _Scrap_. It's weird, somehow we all forgot about it while we were busy trying to keep everyone safe, and by that time, allegiance with Scratch was our only good plan, and Mink seemed reliable enough by then. But then… under the pretense that he had some useful medical knowledge, we allowed him to get close to Aoba, and… I didn't realize right away what he was actually trying to do…” with each word, Koujaku’s voice grew more shaky and frustrated, and meanwhile, Aoba was listening while having his whole body in tension. “He tried to isolate Aoba: use him like some sort of tool, and use him against Toue… It was my fault; I should have never have trusted _that_ guy.”

They were all silent for a while, and Aoba let out one small breath, trying to take in everything that he just heard.

“… I didn’t notice it either. Sorry”, Mizuki said in lower voice.

“I was such an idiot”, Koujaku muttered. “Even though I promised I’d protect Aoba.”

It took him hours to fall asleep again, as he could hardly keep his friend Koujaku out of his thoughts, fragments of feelings he wasn’t ready to acknowledge. But above anything else, he was angry. He felt he had the right to be angry at Koujaku, but at the same time, he didn’t want to be. It wasn't Koujaku's fault. It wasn't anybody's fault.

He woke up the next morning at noon, well-rested and hungry. He meditated quietly while sitting on the couch still.

Somehow, the only thing he remembered dreaming of was a small tender scene between him and Koujaku, speaking softly to his ear. But that’s all he could recall. It was upsetting, because he still didn’t comprehend anything.

****

_—Half a day ago—_

His sense of time was losing its importance ever since he started to be persecuted by that person —or _devil_ , as far as he could determine with each heinous vision of fire and murder he was gifted with every contact they had. It wasn’t good for his mental health, if he still had any left. It was hard to convince himself he was still sane. He often questioned whether he was still walking among the living, or this was the hell he was meant to meet at the end of his journey.

He even entered the place that used to be his base, which he willingly gave up for civilians who escaped the influence of Toue’s takeover, before the real hell was unleashed. He spent some time inside the emptied place, tried to pick up the pieces that he was missing… and then found someone occupying the room that used to be his own.

He found that devil again, bleeding and smiling with that tattered flesh that was supposed to be its skin, long dirty white hair stuck on its red damp clothes, and eyeballs so swollen in crimson he thought they’d jump out of its sockets. It always had a disturbing resemblance to _him_. 

Each encounter became increasingly horrifying and mentally exhausting, and during the last time, he had his long hair pulled by the monster while he tried to escape, making him remember a hideous thing of the past that he didn’t wish to revive. He blacked out briefly despite the inner strength he had built over the years. Whatever that thing was, _it_ knew too much about him and there was no way of hiding from it for too long.

Next thing, he managed to run into the damaged elevator and took it down to a dark place that wasn’t supposed to exist. It was damp, rusty and wore an oppressing atmosphere, so much different from that fiery toxic enviroment that usually unraveled before his eyes whenever that horrible monster was nearby.

Then he found a blond kid upon his path. The kid was severely beaten, his body shaking pathetically on the ground.

He tossed aside all questions about why the kid was here or what brought him to this dreadful place, but he didn't think of leaving him behind, despite his own circumstances. Feelings didn’t always turn out to be the most reliable drive for any purpose, however this time something was different. This time he decided to listen to those feelings he thought didn't exist anymore, and decided to aid that sorry kid.

And they weren’t strangers to each other: they’ve known each other for months, they were even allies; but it was surprising to find the kid here of all places. Whether it’d be convenient to help him or not, there was no way he’d leave the 'Maniac' alone and wounded inside this hellhole.

No man, no woman, no person should be left to die in this place.

The kid was reluctant to accept this help, but anyways he did what was needed to be done about of those wounds.

The kid was delirious, he could tell. Everything about it seemed weird. There was still plenty of stuff inside his bag, but it appeared that he gave up on whatever he was looking for at some point. Just for how long was the idiot kid lost down here?

“ _I found you_.”

Those were the chosen words to make any fearless man shudder in panic. He turned his head to the abyss on both his sides, unable to tell from where did that mischievous call came from. He hesitated.

There was a risk that wasn't his to take.

He left the lamp behind and started to walk away.

“… Where are you going?” the half-asleep kid murmured.

“Don’t move from here.” he commanded to the wounded kid. This was the only way he could think of protecting the 'Maniac' from that terror, because as long as he was under its hounding, nobody would be safe near him.

He always carried a military knife inside his leather holder, but he truly never intended to use it but for one thing only. Even now, he was reluctant to use it. Countless _'what ifs_ ' popped up inside his head, and dreadful possibilities took importance again.

He left the light with the kid, knowing he’d be fine as long as he remained where he was. He walked far enough to not distinguish the source of his lantern anymore.

After a while, he took out another small flashlight from his coat's pocket, he almost never used it, but it’d help him to not trip on anything. Strange thing he didn’t notice until now that the hallway had several steel chains hanging from the ceiling, curtain after curtain, an unending exhibition of loose chains that served no purpose other than get in the way, it seemed. It was like entering a forest of steel, every eerie clank of chains he moved produced endless waves extending farther; the hallways had disappeared. He could no longer tell if he was walking straight, having so many heavy chains to push out of his way… it was getting tiring, and never felt any progress even since he started.

Nothing of this change of scenery made sense. He cringed in quiet realization that again he fell into the devil’s trap.

But he refused to panic. He wasn’t going to hide anymore, it was pointless to hide anyways. He was hearing the steps coming after his back.

Steps were bare feet, cold and slow, as if seizing every delicious second of trepidation they caused. He didn’t want to turn back and face it, but he had to, there was no choice.

When he turned, his eyes tried so hard to not look into that terrible face conceived in violent dreams. Sometimes, its skin simply reminded him of _the people they burnt_. Why did it look like that? Was this its way to mock the most terrible memories of his past? Or maybe…

It spoke again, voice so uncannily human it barely held any difference to that of its original owner, the one who had blue hair. “ _What’s with you avoiding me? I thought you needed to talk to me, you fucker._ ”

The leering human-looking monster pushed ahead, a motion that seemed mostly human, but it gave the impression that it took some effort to stride correctly, maybe the consequence of having such mangled skin. But that was a lie. That thing felt no pain or just didn’t care.

“Stop following me” he grunted, his stare battling with the horrifying sight. The chains behind his back clanked softly, following the echo of his low voice.

But they looked at each other; for an instance, he stared into the red buttons of flesh and saw that there was a sinister grin taunting him. His forehead was starting to sweat, and the hand he kept on his waist was slightly trembling next to the handle of the knife. “ _Are you really that afraid of me?_ ”

He stepped back just one foot, his shoulders and head hit the chains, and some of them swung below his neck, heavy as the long dreadlocks of his hair. Unfortunately, didn’t realize that something was wrong right away.

Its eyes weren’t eyes, but somehow, he could tell that the monster had an amused look on its face. The weight of the chains behind his shoulder lightened.

“ _But_ _I wonder, what were those prison shackles you used to willingly wear? You must have thrown them away at some point. Weren’t they some sort of fashion statement? Or maybe your own cheap metaphor about the chains that tie you to your past? But I told you already: in this place, the only way to survive is to let go of the past... And what the fuck have you been doing about it?_ ”

He wasn’t willing to hear this shit. Those words that slithered out of the wretched mouth of the devil, they sounded like a threat. By the time he finally realized, it was already too late.

The force of steel slithered around his neck, silent as a snake, and though his first reaction was to place his hand between the unyielding chain and his throat, it quickly pulled his whole weight up. He started choking, blood rushing to his head while struggling to get it off.

The chains pulled him up quite easily and now his feet could no longer touch the ground, so he started to kick violently on the already thick air. He kept on laboring for breath, but no matter how much his hands tried to oppose against the noose of steel, the chains kept on tightening. His flashlight fell to the ground.

His eyes were wide-open, mouth gaping painfully as each second became more excruciating than the last. His eyes were wide-open, but his sight barely perceived the light that he dropped. With one single last rush of energy he managed to hold the chains and lift his own weight to look down to the devil of tattered skin, even if it was only for a few seconds.

For some reason, it looked apologetic, but he knew it was merely another way to mock him. It picked up the flashlight, pointing it to him as he kept on choking.

“ _You made it this far, and that’s already an accomplishment, even for someone who longs for death. Like you, Mink_ ”, and then, it sneered, something he managed to somehow detect regardless how close he was to lose consciousness. “ _Well, this must mean that I'm free to go now, right? Sorry, but you are on your own now, asshole. Bye._ ”

The chains constricted more and he let out a hoarse gasp, his neck nearly getting crushed by the overwhelming force. The devil laughed one last time, daringly walked past his twitching legs, and, furthering his anxiety, he felt a hand touch his inner thigh, rather suggestively. He didn’t have enough strength left to kick no matter how bad he wanted to.

Soon it’d be too late. At this rate, the chains would wring out all of his breath.

It wasn’t meant to end like this.

The pressure in his head was increasing. He barely felt the pain anymore, but at his limit, the rage and regret burned stronger than ever, so deep inside; all that careful planning, all the pain and sacrifice, every single thing that he had to throw away in order to accomplish his one single goal, and for what? Just to be smothered by his own chains?

He couldn’t believe it. He simply couldn’t.

Yet, this was it, he feared.

He couldn’t even finish his own thoughts, his mind went blank while holding unto the last of his strength.

****

He’d have gone to talk to his Granny, but he was told she went out with other members of Beni-Shigure to find supplies she needed. Of course he got worried at first, but then he remembered that she’s been living through this hell awake and for longer than he had… Reluctantly he accepted she’d be fine.

He didn’t have the chance of talking to Mizuki, as he left alongside Tae; he could always attempt to hang out with the other members of Beni-Shigure, but it was already uncomfortable to think about Koujaku. He was still angry at Koujaku. And besides, he was nowhere to be found, even though he was supposedly hanging out somewhere inside the building.

Grumbling in frustration, he went upstairs to Koujaku’s apartment, and on his way he greeted Haga-san, his former boss. It was nice to see him keeping his spirits up despite all odds. He casually mentioned that one little boy living in the building said he saw that a ghost walking on the last floor yesterday, but Aoba didn’t know if that was something to be taken lightly.

Going back to the apartment, he remembered that Mizuki said Noiz and Clear had lived in the place next to Koujaku’s along a nurse lady. He already had placed his hand on the doorknob, but ultimately went to the neighbor’s door and shyly knocked.

The lady that opened up seemed to be on her early fifties and looked tired, but she had a very polite voice. She recognized him right away and let him in, since she was apparently a friend of his Granny. The inside of her apartment was probably more crammed with medical supplies than Koujaku’s place. She mentioned that the young man with the gas mask had left a while ago, so the kid was getting bored.

He arched his eyebrow, wondering quietly where did Clear go. He didn’t hear about Clear accompanying his Granny. Where could he be? Not that he minded talking to Noiz alone after all.

But before letting him touch the door of the guest room where Noiz should be, she briefly explained to Aoba about the medical condition of the guy.

Noiz had been suffering from a very rare disease that she called ' _congenital analgesia'_ , which, in simple words, it meant Noiz was unable to perceive pain or any other sensations, except in his tongue. She also emphasized that it was surprising that the brat was even alive at this stage of his life, and even more impressive, he was allowed to go out and help the others.

Knowing such things suddenly made Aoba feel terrible.

He remembered Noiz’s words back then. He remembered seeing the brat suffer because of physical pain. If everything that the nurse lady said was true, then... How was it like for Noiz to go through that agony?

Once allowed inside the grey monotone room, the lady left them alone and closed the door. Noiz had his eyes almost closed, but they instantly blinked awakened when they spotted Aoba; he bowed his head, excusing himself for entering.

Noiz's face had regained some color, but he still looked exhausted. He was covered in blankets and wore light bandages on his head and arms. He also had his facial piercings removed, hence his appearance was somewhat more sober…

Aoba just stood there fidgeting in silence. Noiz was fidgeting too, although more weakly.

“… Well, this is awkward”, Noiz muttered dryly.

Aoba bit his lower lip, putting his hands behind his back. “Don’t push yourself, if you’re tired, I’ll talk to you later.”

“I can hardly keep my eyes open, but… if that's fine, I want to tell you something”, his light green eyes looked directly to him, but it was true when he said he could hardly keep them open. “No, more like… I want to apologize for everything I’ve done to you, even if it’s awfully convenient that you don’t remember.”

The blue-haired man frowned, lowering his face lightly.

“Actually… I think I remember some stuff”, Aoba replied, lifting his gaze again to the young man. “But I don’t want to bring it up, it’s still too painful and confusing yet. I still can’t make out aything of it, but all I know it’s that it wasn't really your fault.”

“… It IS my fault”, Noiz grunted, his bandaged hands balled on the sheets. His low voice was breaking, no matter how quietly it was. “You know it is. I can’t… How do I even apologize for something like _that_?”

There was a sigh. Aoba approached the bed of the blond youth and sat on the edge, looking at him with the most collected expression he could. Internally, he felt just as troubled, but Noiz was still just a kid. He thought he needed to look cool and reliable to make Noiz feel at ease in his presence.

“Take your time. I’m going to wait.”

Noiz closed his eyes, and breathed deeply, furrowing his small brows. He didn’t actually feel pain, but it looked like he was hurting. He dropped his head back to his pillow and looked up to the ceiling, as he licked his lips.

“… I’ve been subjected to Toue’s lab experiments for a while. My body is filled with needle holes to prove it”, he revealed so suddenly, it didn’t give Aoba time to process it. “When we got stuck in Oval Tower, I guess they picked an interest for me. I hope that works as some sort of punishment for the shit I did to you.”

He failed to remain cool, that information was something hard to take for anyone.

“I didn’t know”, he muttered blankly. “How much do you remember?”

The brat shrugged. “Who knows? When your mind is broken, you kinda stop caring. But you had it so much worse, so, who cares?”

He wouldn’t welcome the kind of pity that came from depreciating one’s own suffering. It wasn’t right. The misfortunes that Noiz went through weren’t lesser than his. But he was familiar to this sentiment of intense guilt. Being a problematic kid always had its roots from pain and self-loathing; he'd know, because he used to be one of them not so long ago.

It took one second to sit next to the kid, and his hand carefully touched the bruised young face, caressing his ear and the short blond hair behind it. He didn’t know why he was doing this. Was this his own way to tell Noiz that _he cared_? The green eyes widened a bit, invaded by emotion, and then Aoba’s face leaned warmly close to his.

He really didn’t know what he was doing.

“You had kissed me before, haven’t you?” Aoba whispered in low voice, but following his words, the only thing he actually brought himself to do was to place his lips on Noiz’s stiff mouth for a couple of seconds. He wouldn’t be surprised if Noiz was disappointed somehow. He wasn’t feeling very comfortable with it either, but this was the only thing he thought of doing. “I’m sorry if I don’t know how else to comfort you.”

“… No.”

Suddenly, a hand bluntly pushed his chest away. Noiz was clearly upset, his eyes looking for something else to look at but him. “Not like this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mink's POV was really tough to write tbh, because he's the hardest character to understand for me.
> 
> There was an illustration here. It's gone now.


	10. Heartbreak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the long wait, it's been a busy week because I started my semester and I've got several complications when it came to write this chapter. I'm thankful that people still read this though! Thanks a lot for doing it, because it makes all my efforts worth it.
> 
> Warning: Aoba might be kind of an asshole in this chapter.

During the early morning, he heard his song again, the Jellyfish song, echoing hauntingly over the foggy streets outside the building. He had the chance to listen to the song attentively after they found Mizuki outside the North District one day ago, and Aoba came to take a liking on it very fast, quickly soothed by Clear’s soft and innocent voice. They said his song didn’t have the same effects it used to, but at least it managed to keep the monsters blind and deaf to their presence. Later he confirmed that Clear could easily climb up to roofs and jump from one complex to another. Why would he do that? Nobody knew, but many envied those crazy parkour skills.

He breathed in and leaned against the balcony of the dark gray corridor. He could still listen to the quiet bickering of the children from the inferior levels, but he was too entranced by the ethereal tune that he stopped minding it.

When he looked down to the street, the unwelcome mist had almost made the soil disappear before his eyes, making the building seem taller than it really was… in front of them there were other residential buildings with emptied stores below. There was also a small playground on the west side of a grocery store… still had its sliders and swings, he could tell that much. He used to play with Koujaku in a similar playground when they were children, and he vaguely wondered if the one across the street was the same; it was strangely discomforting to realize that he couldn’t remember much of it.

A movement of darker shades from behind the slider. He saw a crouching figure that resembled an elongated canine. His eyes squinted and he felt a cold shiver run down his face and neck. The gray figure had yellow bright eyes and a twisted dark maw.

It was sitting still, waiting.

“Isn’t that the same dog from before?” Clear spoke, the gas mask was peeking from the roof’s edge upside down.

“… _Dog_?”

“It looks like a dog,” Clear repeated. “It saved you and Noiz-san, don’t you remember?”

“I don’t think it’s a dog… is it?”

The monster was down there, not hiding, not coming closer, just patiently waiting. It wouldn’t take long until its presence was to be noticed by the lookouts. But the beast’s been there for a while; only he and Clear have detected it and they were on the top of the building. Maybe the guards from below weren’t looking at the playground?

The masked character suddenly dropped his body from the roof as he clumsily swung into the balcony to his side, as a circus performer would do. Clear was such a mysterious and friendly person, but maybe too mysterious for his own good —the first time he asked about the mask, Clear had the nerve of placing a woman’s mask under the gas mask as some sort of joke, and they never got farther than that. Generally speaking, Clear was a good but an uncomfortable friend to have… specially since the offer of taking him to Platinum Jail was still standing.

He leaned again over the balcony, and he lost sight of the ‘dog’, the dark playground was abandoned once more. Clear leaned on the balcony in the same fashion he did, but he heard a long sigh come from beneath the black gas mask; maybe he was upset about something?

“Master… my umbrella got broken and I’ve been unable to find another one like that.”

“Oh... I’m sorry about that. Was it very important to you?”

“No, not really. I simply liked it a lot, and I picked it up because it was transparent and I could see the skies beneath it… But I guess it’s of no use here anyways. You can’t see the skies with all this fog, Master.”

It was reasonable, yet Aoba couldn’t shake off the perception that Clear was like a simple-minded kid inside an adults body, or maybe he was just a very tall child. On the other side… being addressed as ‘ _Master_ ’ still sounded wrong. From where did that title even come from?

“Clear… back then when I was in trouble, I think I heard you calling me by my name.”

“I did that?”

“Yeah.”

“… I didn’t notice. I was so scared for your life, and it simply came out of me…” Clear was fidgeting and playing with his gloved fingers.

“Why do you insist on calling me your Master? It’s not like I own you or anything.”

“Ah, you see, when I first heard your voice months ago, I simply recognized your voice as _my Master’s_ voice, but it’s far more complicated than that. Well, even Tae-san has been rising complaints about me calling you 'Master'. I never intended to make anyone upset by that.” The masked youth sounded like a reprimanded child, but Aoba tried to offer a small friendly smile.

“I still don’t understand why’d you do it.”

Clear took a long pause, probably thinking about a more proper explanation, because now he was genuinely interested on that matter about ‘his voice’. Clear folded entwined his fingers and stared at him through the thick windows of the mask.

“Actually, I think it’s not necessary anymore… You’re not really _my Master_.”

That made him rise his brow in query. “And when did you just decide that?”

“No, it was never my decision. Ever since we escaped from that dark place, I noticed that your voice has not been the same. I know it’s still you, but your voice doesn’t quite match what _Master’s_ voice used be anymore. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you about this before.”

A small light turned on inside his brain, realizing quickly what could that possibly mean. Not just Clear’s statement, but a series of facts that have been accumulating behind him for days, and among them was the complete lack of the _other’s_ presence.

“Really? So, I wasn’t making up things in my head when I thought that my voice didn’t have the power of _Scrap_ anymore.” He said, confident of this truth. “Clear, maybe _Scrap_ was the reason why you recognized my voice?”

“Yes, that should be it.” It sure was funny how easily the masked man accepted it, but the ties between Clear and Scrap were blurred by the unresolved mysteries yet concealed within the strange character’s nature. But Aoba didn’t want to force such secrets out of him, he had the feeling that it was better to let him tell the truth whenever he was ready.

For some reason, he felt it was easy to smile when he was with Clear.

“So, if you wanted to call me _Aoba_ , that’d be fine?”

“… Is that what you want?”

“To be honest I’d prefer it that way, but in the end it’s all your choice. You can call me however you want.”

“Then, I'd like to call you _Aoba-san_ for now.” Aoba couldn’t see, but by the cheerful tone of his voice, it was easy to tell Clear would be smiling.

They spent some long minutes talking about the past. They talked about Clear’s grandpa and about the things they liked. Clear asked some really strange questions about most rudimentary things, but he tried to answer with patience. It really felt like he was talking to a kid, but the truth was that maybe Clear was still very unused to be around people.

Something was definitely _off_ about Clear as a whole, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was.

At some point of their conversation, Clear started to express his fears about death of others. Understandable, since he suffered from the loss of his grandpa not long ago and then witnessed the recent hell that Midorijima had become… Clear reached down to his white coat’s pockets and took out a small frayed notebook, then handed it over to him. He realized it had its cover stained with dry blood.

“What’s… this? The woman’s journal from before?”

“Yes. I thought you might need to read it.”

He had to shake his head rapidly at the thought. “No. Sorry.” His hands pushed the book away, feeling his mouth dry just by looking at it. “I’m sorry, but this is really creepy! Besides, it doesn’t feel right to read a woman’s journal!”

Clear, with both hands holding on to the notebook, lowered his head in dismay. “… I didn’t mean any harm by reading it. I’m sorry, I just thought it’d be useful… also, I’m not very sure of this, but I think I’ve read something about Aoba-san inside these pages.”

Damned be the morbid temptation, with a shaky hand, he took the rugged cover and examined looked back at Clear. “About _me_? … Alright, I guess I could try to read it as well. Although this is still wrong!”

He didn’t really read the notebook afterwards. He started to have goose bumps after minutes of just having it on his hands when he got back to the apartment.

It smelled like wet paper and blood, and also something else he couldn’t identify. Most of pages were stained by red and too many of the words were blurred or completely unreadable, and he wondered how much did Clear actually got out of the journal. The inside of the cover had pasted a small picture of the owner, a woman on her late 30’s and the kanjis of her name. _Takatsuki_ , it said. He frowned. This woman used to be his teacher during high school. Then again, he never liked any of his teachers, so he didn’t feel specially sentimental for her, and he couldn't really help it.

Without any thought, he simply skipped to the last written page, and he felt no surprise by finding out bloody fingertips on the dried dirty page. A lot of text has hard to make out, and many words were erased by the humidity or blood, yet he felt compelled to read it.

It was the writing of a person with great strength, he realized.

_… … … Can’t bring myself to do the procedure. I’m either going to die slowly of poisoning if I let it be or I’m going to bleed to death if I do it now. Now I have nothing to keep me going except that I know how to put an end to this nightmare… … … Everything is inside Sakurai’s documents. I know what needs to be done._

_I don’t expect to go to heaven after this. Forgive me, Hibari-kun._

After that, the writing became rougher, obviously written on a rush. And it was so dirtied by the crimson stains that he could hardly read any of it.

_If you found this, I was already taken away. I’m probably dead. Please let my journal be helpful on your way. Deliver this to my mother… … … … love her…_

_… … Save… … SERAGAKI… … no other way._

He closed the notebook after those last confusing words. His stomach was upset. Must have been the smell of the rotten notebook, or maybe the fact that he couldn’t fathom what kind of fate did the owner met. His neck was feeling cold and sore all of sudden, as if his body was stricken by a freezing breeze.

He heard his grandma come back to the apartment, so he hid the notebook inside the bed sheets of his bed. Koujaku was lying on his bed asleep, and strangely enough, Tae asked if the leader of Beni-Shigure spent the whole day sleeping. Aoba squinted, not sure how was it that he didn’t hear Koujaku’s steps when he slipped into his bed.

“You want me to wake him up for dinner?”

Tae sighed. “Don’t.”

****

Next morning, he took another look out from the balcony of the fifth floor, and he saw the Dog again, in the same spot, calmly glaring up at him. Just as he suspected, the creature was probably here because of him. It never stopped being such a hauntingly curious sight, and if he grew accustomed to it, it was almost non-threatening. But the dog left again, this time he saw it sprint away as one of the Beni-Shigure men went against it with a katana.

Koujaku was again out of sight, not even Mizuki or the guys of Beni-Shigure knew where did he went, but there was no way that Koujaku would be able to leave without anybody noticing. Katou had mentioned Koujaku could be flirting with one girl who lived on the third floor, but Aoba didn’t stay to hear any more of that. As a matter of fact, he felt furious. Of course, he always disliked that lady killer attitude of his, but now he couldn’t stand thinking of it. Not after what happened.

After spending some time with Mizuki and Clear on the first floor, he started to recover from that surge of regret. Clear turned out to be an amusing addition to play go-fish, and that was one of the few things they could entertain themselves with.

Later, Aoba went up to visit Noiz with Clear. They didn’t speak of Takatsuki’s diary at all. He haven’t started to read it properly, mostly because he didn’t want to. However, Clear did say that the dog started roaming around the building without getting near, which probably meant it was very aware of the risks. Still, there was no real reason why should it be doing that at all. The worst of all was that Aoba couldn’t decide if he was either worried for the monster getting caught or the monster finding a way into the building.

Hana, the nurse, welcomed both young men into the apartment, saying that Noiz’s condition was improving.

Noiz was still resting on his bed, but this time, he had a large battery placed side at his legs, and some thin wires connecting it to a smaller blue device that he’s been scrutinizing with his tiny tools while several pieces of the gadget were spread all over the blankets… Aoba immediately recognized it as his Coil, at least the last one he ever owned. Now that he remembered, the mysterious call they said to have tracked was received by his Coil.

The masked young man closed the door behind them and Aoba simply sat on the edge of the bed with nonchalant expression, trying to erase from his mind the last time he approached Noiz, in order to make this encounter less uncomfortable than it already was. Noiz lifted his gaze a little, slowing down his work.

“Clear said you’ve been holding unto my Coil for a while. Why is it so important?” Aoba asked, trying to not feel slightly upset about seeing his personal Coil in the other’s hands.

The blond cleared his throat, his tone notoriously stronger. “You should at least recall that your Coil had received a game application days before we got caught into Toue’s trap.”

“Yeah. The person who supposedly sent those applications and the new message was _Captive Princess_ , right? And according to Clear, the last one came from Mink’s Coil.”

“ _Captive Princess_ couldn’t have been him”, Noiz scoffed shaking his head, momentarily distracting his eyes from the plugged device. “My guess is that he must’ve dropped his Coil somewhere and CP has used it that one time; either that or CP is in cahoots with him, I don’t know.” Noiz immersed himself in thought after saying that, creasing his small brows as if he just realized something. “Actually, I think I saw him down there.”

“What? You mean you met Mink in that place and then he left you for dead?”

“I didn’t bandage myself for all I know. But yeah, he could have totally left me behind to attend his own business. I don’t care very much.”

“Do you really think he could be on Captive Princess’ side as well?”

“We can’t dismiss that possibility, given our current evidence, but there’s no way to guarantee that CP was anywhere near the place we fell into.” He slightly turned to see the gas mask man. “What do you have, Clear?”

“I wasn’t aware that Mink-san was in that place too until you said it, Noiz-san. Now I’m worried about him, because that is not like Mink-san”, Clear replied disheartened while putting his hands inside his pockets.

“But if it’s true that he is currently with CP, why would someone hide inside the North District to begin with? It’s way too dangerous” Aoba swallowed spit before continuing. “What if they’re already dead?”

“I don’t think they are.”

Noiz didn’t sound so confident about those facts, but it was obvious how he showed genuine concern for someone else. Clear was understandable, but it meant even more if it came from someone like Noiz.

“You’d have to listen to the message too.”

The blond, putting the pieces of the small device together again, turned it on and the bright blue hologram screen appeared floating on his lap; the Coil’s interface was seemingly unchanged from what he last remembered, even if Noiz had been messing around with it for a while —not that he minded anymore. He actually felt strange by looking at the glowing screen, being this the first in a long time since he last saw anything digital working.

Noiz opened the Inbox to reveal several messages coming from Captive Princess and one from Haga-san third-to-last… it was almost the same as it was when he last used it… except the final two messages: one from Captive Princess with  and the most recent one, which didn’t have any name or remittent. “What about that one?”

“This? I don’t know. Wasn’t there last time I checked on this thing” He analyzed on the unknown new and discovered it had several downloadable files. It started downloading at an unbearably slow pace. He grunted in frustration, were his hacking skills somewhat rusty or whoever sent it had made it simply too hard for him to decrypt their location or identity. “This one will take a while. Let’s listen to that voice message while I’m at it.”

The second-to-last in was a long recorded message, and it seemed to last for nine minutes or so. Noiz opened up a window showing the sound waves coming from the audio, and right then he heard an uncomfortably quiet static, and an occasional small groan… The static was getting louder, and the groan started to sound like a weak voice repeating one single sound.

“… I think… those are words?” Aoba muttered, creasing his brows in confusion. Clear seemed more entrapped in the noise than the others.

“No matter how much I tried to clean the audio, this is the best I can offer without messing it up… But if you listen close enough, you can hear it say ‘ _Aoba_ ’; I’m not shitting you.”

“That’s right. I can hear this person saying Aoba-san’s name.”

He simply leaned closer to the screen, observing the frequency waves becoming less even, the static sometimes got so loud it was unbearable, but sometimes it’d lessen, and he could hear the same voice repeating its call, the shape of words were becoming more apparent as it slowed down its pronunciation…

He was hearing it now.

_A… O… BA…_ It kept repeating that.

The voice was too weak and jagged by the static that he couldn’t tell if it was someone he knew. After taking in this frightful discovery, the noise became deafening and it no longer resembled static, it was like a hundred nails scrapping on steel along the sobs and shrieks of pained voices; he had to cover his ears and pull back. Noiz had to turn down the volume, seemingly surprised by this, despite hearing it before. Clear was also taken aback by it, looking to both young men in anticipation for a comment; the blue-haired had was shaken and felt his ears ringing, his arms weak while his shoulders shivered.

“I guess it sounded like my name. This is so creepy” he gasped, and Noiz closed the archive to inspect it. “… _Captive Princess_ had contacted me before, gave me the means to get to Toue… and yet… maybe also delivered us to Toue. But why would they send this after such a long time?”

“—Whoever it is, I think it really wants to meet you.” Noiz spoke, but Aoba sighed upset.

“Do I seem like I’m ready to meet another weird person/ghost thing right now? _Thanks_ , but no thanks.”

“Nobody’s telling you to go for it. I personally feel pretty stupid for trying to find a person who probably doesn’t have shit to do with me.”

“Besides, you only got yourself in trouble. Did you even get to find something?”

“I’m sure that _something_ found me instead…” As the lad said that, Aoba couldn’t help but to notice Noiz’s lips were shaking lightly; he pondered what did he mean by that, he wasn’t obviously talking about Mink, maybe the monsters? “… Hm, this is weird.”

“What is it now?”

“When I got lost in that dark place, your Coil received this last message… and it’s done downloading.”

They all three observed the screen displaying nothing but a dozen of blank white images. All of them were numbered, but that was the only thing that distinguished one image from the other.

“There’s nothing in the pictures.”

“No, wait a minute.” Noiz would try to filter the pictures, but it was ultimately useless. They were just blank files. “Weird.” 

****

“You seem to like spending more time with that boy as of late.”

Aoba turned right to see the tall tattooed man walk towards him. His long face was still pale and the black locks on his face only added a deathlier look to him. The young man sighed as he closed the door from the neighbor apartment he just left. Hearing Koujaku question him about it just made him even angrier for reasons too obvious to ignore now.

“So what? Got a problem with that?” That cocky bit of himself slipped from his mouth. Koujaku’s gaze lowered, avoiding and nervous. Aoba didn’t always thought about this, but Koujaku always had this habit when talking to him…

“… Aoba, I don’t want to be _that guy,_ but you’re acting so strange as of late, and everyone is worried about you. I AM worried about you… You shouldn’t have left the refuge again. I don’t know what’re you looking for, but there’s no need for you to put yourself in danger again.”

“I know. But I simply can’t stay inside this place. And I don’t need you to monitor every decision I make.”

The man in red kimono changed his tone, less shy and more hurt; he was scowling, but what right did he even have to be angry? “Do you want to leave us again?”

“What? That’s not what I meant!”

“… I know. I’m sorry.”

Koujaku relaxed his face again. The one who was behaving strange was him, Aoba thought.

“You know, just a week ago, I accidentally grazed your shoulder while you were staring at the window. And yet you only panicked and smacked my face. For a long time you’ve rejected contact with others, and now, all of sudden, you’re even talking back to me… Aoba, why are you now acting as if nothing happened?”

“I’m not acting— I didn’t mean to!” He didn’t know any of that, or exactly how did he behave while he wasn’t sane, and it disquieted him to see how was his old friend talking about it. Koujaku suffered because of it. “Are you really that upset about me? Was I such a burden to you?”

The older man shook his head weakly. “No— I mean, it’s not like I knew what to expect of you after all. I thought it’d be better if I held back and turned away, because no matter how much I do for you, you don’t actually need me. But it doesn’t change the fact that I’ve been there for you.” He backed away limply, and Aoba noticed his eyes were looking straight at his, unfaltering. But right after, his gaze fell down. In that moment, Aoba felt a gentle bitterness pierce through his chest like a thin needle. “I’m sorry. It almost sounds like I want something in return.”

“But you _do_ want something from me in return, don’t you? Is that why you kissed me while you thought I was asleep?”

Before he could hold back, it was already too late. He said it. The moment he said those words, he felt something between them broke, forcing out the surprise on Koujaku’s pallid face. It was the defiant brown stare against the shaky red eyes.

“Aoba, I-I…” Then he fell silent, traces of guilt and shame rose on his face, bringing out some color, but he still looked more mortified than lively. “Were you awake?”

“If there’s something you want to tell me, just do it.”

“… I guess I’ve been acting strange too. I didn’t mean to involve you with this folly.”

It only worsened, blackening the anger held inside; Koujaku didn’t even try to sound convincing in that one last lie.

“Is that how you’re going to excuse yourself?” Aoba muttered, balling his fists. He thought he’d end up attacking his old friend in one second to another, but instead, something warm started leaking from his eyes. It was getting harder to keep it in as he continued talking. “I never told you this, because it was when I was a child and I became so heartbroken when you and your mother had to leave to the mainland, so these feelings were way too complicated for me back then… Koujaku, you were so important to me. You simply have _no idea_ how much.”

It all true, since children had a very peculiar understanding of what love was, and back then, he wouldn’t have doubted his best friend was also the first person for whom he felt something _very special_ , even if time managed to modify such feelings.

The tears stopped from coming out. He felt strangely cooled down even after opening up like this to Koujaku.

“But I’m not a child anymore, you know. I guess I simply grew out of it and accepted you as the friend you've always been, because I thought: _There’s no way this stupid lady killer could be interested in his own childhood friend_ … right? I came to genuinely find comfort on being just your friend, but… nothing would change the fact that I once had that kind of feelings for you. Isn't it _fucking ironic_?”

“Aoba, I had no idea.” The voice of his old friend was brittle, and without looking, Aoba turned to the left towards the stairs. “Please, Aoba!”

For a moment Aoba was under the impression that he’s grab his arm to stop him… but it never happened. Yet, he turned his face back at Koujaku. The man was standing had his arm stretched out towards him, but he was frozen in place and expression full of conflict.

“Please leave me alone to think, okay?” said the blue-haired, knowing the conflict wasn’t for Koujaku alone. Yes, the anger and pain were stinging deeply, but the newfound feelings were too complicated to entertain. “I’m worried about you too.”

He went down, and nobody followed him. The stairway felt somewhat empty, but he found comfort in the solitude the gray steps offered. The freshness ran over him, and the hot dampness on his face disappeared in a matter of seconds.

He didn’t feel like crying anymore.


	11. Recoil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been harder to write new chapters lately because I returned to college and I gotta do stuff, but I still have plenty of material to work with, even if it takes me time! Anyways, thanks a lot for the feedback, your kind kudos your bookmarks, they mean A LOT to me, you have no idea! I could use some criticism if you have some to offer, because that'd help me so much to grow as a writer since I don't really consider myself an excellent one (yet).
> 
> Mild sexual NoiAo scene in this chapter.

He still pondered why he kissed Noiz back then. It happened too forcefully, and Aoba couldn't stop himself from regretting it, because it only reinforced the lingering disgust that brought his mind back to that bloody memory about Noiz… No, _it wasn’t a memory_. It was a place that existed inside Noiz’s mind. Noiz reacted negatively to 'affection' for reasons that went beyond Aoba's understanding.

Hana left the apartment to help out Tae with something, so she innocently trusted Aoba to keep the boy company. She seemed to have taken some sort of fondness on the lad despite all the trouble he caused. Noiz said that he felt grateful to her, but only because she was a nurse and he was a patient, a natural cause that led to a natural effect.

Clear didn’t come to visit today and Noiz had been feeling bored for the whole morning, so when Aoba came he said he was feeling like using his legs.

No bones of his legs were broken, and he couldn’t really feel pain. He had to ask Hana often to check on his body until she said it was fine for him to walk… Aoba offered his help to the lad, and to his surprise, Noiz didn’t have any complaints.

“Can you really walk?” Aoba asked again, watching the young man showing a disturbing lack of struggle while moving his legs to put on the old pair of pants he got today. His feet met no problems when they finally stood on their own, so he started walking. “Come on, you don’t have to move on so fast.”

“I’ll trip on you because you can’t get out of my way.” Noiz replied, until now they barely looked at each other’s eyes. But out of need rather than desire, the blond man supported his arm on Aoba’s shoulder. Of course Noiz didn’t have sensation on his limbs and he was used to move like that, but he also acknowledged that he needed someone else’s help. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

They didn't move from there.

Aoba didn’t realize it at first, how fast his heart started beating after allowing the young man to squeeze his shoulder. The bruised fingers had tightened on his joint but Aoba wasn’t particularly rankled by it since it wasn’t intentional… however, the proximity awakened a strange fever. It wasn’t exactly arousal or affinity towards the brat. If he could describe it more accurately, he’d say it was like an unpleasant sultry sensation swelling in his throat.

“What are you doing?” Noiz asked in dry voice as his support had closed the gap between their faces, each other’s rotten breaths.

“I don’t know.” Aoba responded, his forehead touched the lad’s temple. He closed his eyelids one second as he carefully listened his own heart kept pounding loudly inside him… He knew Noiz couldn’t feel, but a part of his mind was telling him it was meaningful to touch the youth’s injured hand with his. Noiz’s backhand felt so cold.

Noiz turned his face, unsure. He actually hesitated for half a second before placing his thin lips upon Aoba’s, awaiting for response. Shyly, his tongue slithered over the broken skin of the youth’s mouth. In truth, it was disgusting. Neither of them have washed their mouth properly for some time, and the flavor wasn’t pleasant at all; yet Aoba had remembered that it was in that small muscle where the young man still had some sensation. Noiz would be feeling it, this gross kiss. And... _the tongue_ _had a piercing?_

Before he pushed Noiz to the bed, his hands felt beneath his shirt and pulled it up to reveal the scarred sunken stomach and prominent ribs and hipbones stuck against the sickly white skin. Aoba’s fingers felt the bones almost lovingly, but of course the boy couldn’t feel any of that. Noiz remained still, his hands awkwardly raised to the height of his shoulders as if he didn’t know where to put them, how to touch. Something like the lack on sensitivity would have never stopped him before from groping someone, yet right now Noiz was so cold…

The taste it left in his mouth was probably just as bad as his own, but he didn’t care. Noiz was a bad kisser and so he was. He took another look to the weakened frame of the teenager, it made his stomach turn just to ponder how many wounds have marked this body. Aoba leaned over him, kissing again his face gently and then looking down with a pained expression.

“There’s so many…” he muttered, referring to the scars, particularly the smaller ones that he could find on Noiz’s neck and his arms. Those were needle marks indeed. How could people do these things to someone so young?

Noiz tilted his head to the side, closing his eyes, allowing the older one to investigate those parts of his jagged body. It created an illusion, as if he was indeed feeling every touch although he really didn't. In a way, it was like touching a living dead.

Again, he pressed his mouth with the other’s, even less passionate than before, yet he felt the blond’s breath of relief brush against him, anything but fresh, but a breath nonetheless. Suddenly, Noiz raised his arms and surrounded Aoba’s neck. The blue-haired was pulled into an weak embrace and began to kiss again as his hands slid lower and lower down Aoba’s back, until Noiz’s bent knee began to press against Aoba's crotch area, making the blue-haired groan and shiver, reviving the qualms that inhabitated his body.

“You’re acting weird”, Noiz whispered mindlessly kissing the man on top.

The words of Koujaku came back reverberating inside to him, breaking down his guard.

Cold sweat dripped over his scalp and suddenly he felt like he couldn’t swallow air or spit. The kissing abruptly ceased and he simply pulled away overcome in shame; before he realized, his whole body was trembling non-stop. Noiz didn’t seem extremely upset about his reaction, but he stared at him while rolling his shirt back down nonchalantly. Close intimate contact had filled Aoba with intense sickness and uncontrollable dread. It rushed back to him, the blurred memories of being with Noiz in a small world of endless wounds and blood, in which there was no telling apart the loving tenderness from the brutal agony… but that wasn’t all there was to it.

There were several things hurting, and among them were his real intentions towards Noiz. And worst of all, Noiz was perfectly aware of them.

“I shouldn’t have done that”, Noiz muttered coldly as he slowly got back on his legs.

“I’m sorry.” It was stinging Aoba’s heart so bad, and he hated himself even more for feeling offended on Noiz’s behalf. “That was so selfish of me… even though I'm older than you.”

But Noiz simply brushed that apology off his shoulder. If he was feeling at least one bit of upset, he was way too good at not showing it.

“No big deal, you’re clearly the one who wanted it the least of us. I can’t blame you. But, you know, it hurts when it’s _you_ who wants to use me.”

“Noiz… I’m so sorry.”

The shame was so great he had to leave Noiz and lock himself inside his room for several hours. He had no courage to talk to anybody. He was always hurting people he cared about, and now he had done it for his own selfish reasons.

He didn’t realize how unbearable it was to not have someone to talk about these things anymore. _Ren was gone_. It was pathetic, he thought. Koujaku wasn’t an option, Mizuki already had enough issues to deal with, and he didn’t want to tell these kind of things to his Granny; Clear was too nice and had a good relationship with Noiz, and he didn’t want to put edges between them…

Without Ren, he felt so lonely. It was just an old spitz Allmate, but it also used to be an important part of his life. He felt no shame for missing Ren.

After a while, he finally came out of the apartment while it was still midday, and he aimlessly walked up and down the stairs, watching out the balcony to observe the white misty neighborhood, particularly placing all of his attention to the playground across the street.

The ‘dog’ wasn’t there. Of course, it shouldn’t be there since last time the lookouts scared it away, but chances were that it was smart enough to keep itself out of danger. Lately, Aoba had some weird wishful thinking about that canine creature, but that was all there was: wishful thinking. Loneliness was a powerful thing indeed.

He went up to the fifth floor again and groaned as another freezing breeze struck his face when he walked close to the balcony. The playground was nearly invisible, but among the whiteness, something shady was standing out. This time it wasn’t a beast, but human-shaped; a tall complexion dressed in black and white.

Ghostly, almost surreal, it made him recall the dreams of someone standing outside his window. Couldn’t quite make out what their eyes were because of the mist, but he was very certain that they were staring up at him. As if his senses started tingling inside his head, he realized that he’s seen that figure somewhere else before.

His eyes squinted as he tried to take in every detail of the person standing there; the mist dissipated a little... and then he saw it. With its dark crouching figure, the ‘dog’ came back. It was getting close to the person, advancing with a very threatening stance. With silent horror he expected the ‘dog’ to sink its wretched jaw to this person’s leg anytime, as the latter started to take slow cautious steps away from the monster.

He never watched the end of that confrontation. He almost slipped downstairs, without thinking how could he intervene in a monstrous confrontation. But by the time he got to check the balcony on the third floor, both of them were gone, vanished without leaving a trace. It didn’t make Aoba any less uneasy, fearing an unknown outcome of things he didn’t see yet. Nobody from the first floor seemed to have noticed, even though the playground was on their field of vision; they didn't hear or see anything, and Aoba was sure he'd hardly be believed if he told anything, because he didn’t build himself a reputation of being mentally healthy as of late.

The only who's listen would be Clear, but Clear wasn’t in the building. The masked guy probably went out again to explore. He only went down to talk to Mizuki briefly and ask him if they sighted any threats today, and he only mentioned that a little beyond the block they found a group of those faceless bastards approaching and that was already taken care of. He didn't stay to chat for long. For some reason he didn't enjoy Mizuki's company anymore.

The anxiety just kept on growing as he headed back to the apartment… and then he found Koujaku going downstairs as well. _Great timing_ , he thought. Koujaku was exactly the last person he needed to see right now. There was an awkward exchange of gazes between them, and Koujaku looked… very different. Opposed to what Aoba had expected from him, his face hadn’t recovered color, but instead of looking depressed, he gave a most apologetic look. There was also something like dirt on the corners of his mouth, as if he ate in a rush.

“… Ah, there you are. So, I’ll see you with Tae-san for dinner tonight, I guess?… It’s going to get a little too awkward from now and on, right?”

Aoba didn’t answer. Koujaku smiled softly before getting his way back upstairs, even if just a little. It was as if the teary conversation from before never took place. Showing this sort of lightheartedness after Aoba’s hurtful words and actions… It felt so wrong.

Still, he didn’t go after Koujaku, he was afraid of bringing out the worst part of himself again for the sake of hurting his dear friend once more. Yes, he was angry at Koujaku, but this wasn’t the right time to corner him with emotional harm. Just some hours ago he was cruel enough to contemplate using Noiz for hurting the other, but in the end that was a low he couldn’t reach.

They had dinner, but Koujaku didn’t show up. As he sat down in the dark kitchen of the apartment, Tae had brought warm water and instant noodles, and eventually they started eating without the third party. Tae mumbled about her concerns over Koujaku; she always had treated him as part of her family. Both could agree they cared for Koujaku enough to acknowledge that he hasn’t gotten any better ever since he was brought back covered in blood.

“What is wrong with him? Just… what happened?” Aoba asked, not holding back his grief. Tae sighed as she finished sipping on her tea, probably cold already, but her expression was just as troubled as his.

“… He probably wants me to keep it from you, but while he was in bed he told me what he saw before he came back.”

Aoba bit his lower lip, looking to his grandma’s hands tense around her tumbler. “… Would you?”

She frowned her wrinkly face and remained silent for some seconds, breathing in and out gently while looking her the right way to start her explanation.

“You know that his mother died at some point before he returned to Midorijima, yes?”

“Yeah. You told me that she passed away after an accident when they were on the mainland.”

“That's what he told to us the first time we met him after all those years… But let me be straight with you, Aoba. She didn’t die on an accident... She was actually murdered.”

The shock was quick and unexpected. Having known Koujaku’s mother when he was still a kid and having the chance of bonding with her… it was already tough to know that she died, but a murder was something completely different. And Koujaku had kept this to himself all this time.

“… God. W-why didn’t he say anything?”

“When he went on his own to investigate the hospital… I’m not sure what did he find in there, but whatever it was, he told me it looked like his mother, and that’s all he let me know. It must have re-opened a deep emotional scar in him, so... it does explain why is he acting like this. I’m not telling you that you should not talk to him, but please don’t press him too hard on that matter, will you?”

Upon that revelation, Aoba just managed to feel even worse about the way he confronted Koujaku, and realized how little he actually knew of that man who’s been in his life for so many years. “But really, what can I say?”

Aoba didn’t contribute further on the matter, neither his grandma but they kept on eating their supper until silence wasn’t uncomfortable anymore. Still, Koujaku wasn’t coming. It wasn’t like him to miss a dinner with them whenever he proposed, even if their world was tumbling down. Aoba finished his meal and told his grandma he’d go to search for him, but she insisted him that Mizuki should be taking care of that man if she wasn’t. She said she relied on Mizuki for those things, and that trust had become well-deserved, she assured.

Of course, Aoba already knew that Mizuki was extremely grateful towards both of them, and he’s been working really hard to pay them back… still, he should go to see Koujaku later anyways just in case.

He sat back in front of her as she spoke in serious tone: “Tomorrow we’ll be meeting with the survivor group that lives in the Southern District. We’ve been meeting for a while now, arranging a new plan to get us out of this island, it's very likely we'll remain with them for some days... I want you to come with me.”

“R-really? It’s not like I’m complaining, Granny, but… why?”

“I have a special task for you only. Besides, we could use some time together.”

“… I want to come with you, Granny, I really do. But… I’ll have to decline. I’m sorry.”

It was true that he wanted to be at her side for this, and he was about to accept. But if he did it, he knew he’d probably lose the chance he had to find the one thing he was still missing. His grandma squinted her eyes at him, looking through him not with anger but with apprehension.

“You’re going to Platinum Jail, correct?” Aoba gulped when she asked. “That young man Clear had told you about the way in, didn’t he?”

He shook his shoulders, rapidly growing anxious as his expression with his hands became exaggerated. “I-I still don’t know if I want to go! I wouldn’t go unless you told me why is it so important, because I know that you know what’s going on with that! For how longer do you intend to keep these things from me?”

Tae closed her eyes in tiredness and sighed, resigned to the complaints of her grandson. But then again, he wasn’t expecting her to spill everything just because he questioned her. It was a very bad habit of hers and he knew it for a long time.

“… Whether you decide to go to Platinum Jail or not, I’ll be on your side, Aoba.”

“Granny…” He couldn’t help it, he started to blush intensely. She stretched her arms towards his hands on the table and held them warmly.

“I’m done with seeing people younger than me go away. This time, I won’t lose you. Got it?”

He couldn’t help but to smile while entering in conflict with the worries he’d have to suffer if she went to the same dangerous places he’d probably visit. He didn’t know if he wanted to accept this.

“What’s with all this sudden sentimentality, Granny?” he teased.

“You’re making me regret it already.” Tae groaned. “I’ll tell you what you have to know. But not now. You’re not ready to hear that part of the story, trust me. Just bear with it a little while longer; this isn’t easy for me either.”

“I know.” Putting it that way, it made him uneasy to think what could she be hiding underneath those words… He already had a faint idea of what she was going to tell him, but at least he needed to hear it from her own mouth and no one else’s.

“But right now, I’m very worried for Koujaku as well. I don’t feel it’s safe to leave him behind… even if Mizuki is the most reliable person we have, Koujaku has found his own ways to evade their watch.”

“… You said that Koujaku saw something that looked like his mother. That reminds me of something I’ve seen before I found Clear and Noiz… But I’m not sure what it was. I saw one who looked like me.”

“It looked like you?”

“Yeah. But, it was more like… _I don’t know_ … its face, its hands… it was like its skin was falling apart. And its eyes were like red wounds. But it was _me_. More like a nightmarish reflection of me.”

“Were you attacked by it?”

“Not really, I-I don’t recall. It didn’t act like most of the other monsters I’ve met so far.” He omitted the mention of the other exception, but he really wasn’t thinking about the ‘dog’ despite everything. “Granny, what do you think of this?”

Almost undisturbed, she nodded to herself, as if she understood all the mess of words he just blabbered. “I may have an idea of what's it about. Maybe.”

“Huh? Can you tell me now? I know you love keeping things but it’d be really nice if you shared your thoughts with me on this one.”

“This fog has brought upon us something more than just monsters. Toue’s attempt to fully control all the people’s minds has failed, but it succesfully brought out a mess from everyone's minds, even those who managed to survive. Of course, we still don’t know exactly what these creatures are or from where they came from, but there’s one thing I can say for sure: they’re able to see what lies inside people’s minds, they know how to exploit their darkest thoughts and secrets.”

He had to twist his mouth to that claim. “I don’t understand. Are you saying that this is like something messing with everyone's heads? Are we imagining these monsters or are they controlling our minds? What happened to the medicine you’re giving to everyone?”

“Those pills are limited to keep people from seeing more than what’s already there. We’ve learned in the bad way that these things are real and they can harm us no matter what. Whatever has ruined our island clearly goes beyond the mere mind controlling games of Toue. These creatures are real to _us_ , and they know things we’d rather to conceal… I believe that’s the reason why so many people have died so fast, and that’s the reason why has Koujaku been hurt like this.”

In the end, he wasn’t completely sure if he understood what she said. He didn’t have the right to not believe in her words now, but he was sure as hell it opened up a ton of new questions about this horrible foggy world.

“Speaking of him, I really should be going, right?”

Before even lifting from the chair, someone knocked at the door.

****

They were able to stop the man from breaking into the building. The older man’s body was too tired and wounded to allow him to fight. Although with a living-dead aspect, Mizuki recognized him right away as the leader of Scratch —ex leader—, with all the long loose dreadlocks and iron handcuffs on his wrists, which didn’t do nothing for his intimidating looks for he was in a very weakened state. If what Koujaku said was all truem there was no way he’d let him hear about this, otherwise he’d go berserk again.

Mink could barely stand on his feet, had dry blood trailing down his forehead and staining his shirt and jeans; couldn’t help but to notice that he had a disquieting look on his sharp golden eyes, constantly looking to his sides, as if he was watching out for any sort of monster to attack him. Also, he smelled like burnt hair, although he wore no visible burns on his face or his arms. It was easy to guess that he had been running for a while, but whatever reason brought him here, it wasn’t the time for him to neglect his own health. He surely wouldn't reject a bit of hospitality...

They didn’t need to hold him down, he simply stood still while recovering breath with eyes closed. Mizuki had told one guy, to bring the old lady Tae down to see Mink, but until then, the dark tall man didn’t utter a word. They made him simple questions, as of why did he abandon his own group or if he intended to stay here, he answered none. It wasn’t like he couldn’t hear them, perhaps he simply didn’t care for what they said, didn’t care about Mizuki’s small authority. Mizuki figured that the man wouldn’t talk unless it was with Tae.

They all knew Tae had been one of the few people whom he seemed to trust outside his gang, as far as Mizuki recalled back on those days. He never understood the reasons behind it, except the fact that she had used the help of that man to get her grandson back, and Mink probably had used her for other motives.

The boys from Beni-Shigure kept a tight hold on the ex leader of Scratch, Mizuki had to think it twice before turning his head to see Tae come down from the stairs… and Aoba followed after her.

Mizuki’s first reaction was to hurry and speak to the pink-haired old lady about the matter, but from one second to the other he turned his eyes to Mink and back to Aoba. He noticed right away how the older man’s attention was suddenly focused on Aoba… Tae pulled Mizuki from his leather jacket and murmured something to him:

“Keep Aoba out of this. I’m taking care of that one.”

She knew what she was doing, and there was nobody more capable than her to deal with that intimidating man; but then that meant that Mizuki had to go and distract _Aoba._ He couldn’t help to see that the latter’s dark eyes were staring back at the wounded man.

“Come on, Aoba, you’ve got nothing to do here.”

The blue-haired didn’t seem to listen, hence Mizuki had to almost-forcefully push him back upstairs in uncomfortable silence. Aoba’s eyes didn’t show shock or dread for seeing Mink. Not even concern, what’d be natural… Just an empty stare, so devoid of emotion and light; it always unsettled Mizuki. After some struggle, the guy decided to move on his own, responding with slight annoyance to Mizuki's pushiness.

Mizuki felt a little sick in the stomach, doing his best to avoid looking straight in the eyes of this person he identified as 'Aoba'. He thought he had control of his inner emotions, but some things couldn't change no matter how much he tried.

It’s been like this since Aoba came back to his senses. This uneasy feeling when talking to him, when looking at him, and no matter how good he was at playing to be the reliable strong friend, Aoba’s behavior never stopped being unnerving. It was like _Aoba_ , the same Aoba he always have known and liked, but there was more to it than meets the eye… Mizuki even spoke to Tae about it, and she agreed. She was the only one who reassured Mizuki that he wasn’t wrong for thinking that his friend has been changed by something unspeakable and it wasn’t merely a product of unconscious regret towards Aoba after the incident with _Scrap_.

Of course, at the beginning it seemed like the extreme trauma that Aoba had to go through turned him into a shell of the person that he used to be, but the fact that he ‘recovered’ from one day to the other was a good reason to get concerned. And for the icing of the cake, it had to happen at the same fucking time Koujaku broke down, just when his leadership was more needed than ever.

Mizuki had gone through hell to regain his sanity, and he’d always have to bear the weight of the deaths he caused… he was unpleasantly surprised with how much he was able to handle. But his own tragedy was nothing compared to the suffering of those around him.  With that, he was feeling helpless without the support of Koujaku, and _this Aoba_ wasn’t exactly the most helpful support as of late... As a matter of fact, _Aoba_ has always been the core of his grief. Aoba has been always very dear to him, someone he always wanted to welcome inside his 'family'... and losing someone he never truly had only made him hate himself some more.

It didn’t show at all on the surface, but Mizuki knew that he was afraid of _this Aoba_. He could feel it. He was afraid of being the only one who could actually _feel_ it. _This Aoba_ was dangerous.

“…Mizuki, what's wrong? Are you afraid I get into a fight with that man?”

“No, but I'm just hoping that he didn't come here to get one. Even on his dying breath he'd beat the shit out of you.”

“Ah? So he does have a bone to pick with me, huh?”

Mizuki didn't answer that, but for one second he thought he found a cocky tone rising from _Aoba's_ voice. What was in his mind? Mizuki was somehow dreaded to figure it out.

“By the way, isn’t Koujaku down there too?” Aoba asked, his voice was very calm.

“What? No. Last time I saw him, he was going up to his apartment. Didn’t he have dinner with you and Tae-san?”

Aoba furrowed his brows lightly. “… No. He never came back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: added a longer dialogue with Mizuki in this chapter.


	12. I Want To Hurt You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains emotional abuse, manipulation, and dubious consent, just to be perfectly clear about that.  
> I originally wanted to post this chapter yesterday (koujaku's birthday) but oh well, let's say it's just one day late.

In return for each little breath, a broken loving kiss was delivered to bruise his skin with its craving warmth. Every cruel kiss disarmed the lain man bit by bit, allowing the most red of shadows to awaken the silent arousal once again.

He had to tilt his head to the side, unable to look up at the eyes of his one and only reason. It was getting hot, and it was getting harder to breathe. It was pressing against his hips. One hand, moist, blemished and gentle brushed the right side of his face, where his skin had been marked with poisonous ink long ago. The touch would always send chills all over his body.

“What’s wrong? You’re acting shy again.”

“Is it… really alright to do this?”

“Why are you asking again? I thought that this was what you wanted.”

“It’s not like that. Is it _alright_ _for you_ to do this?”

Red eyes tried to scrutinize the darkness of those that weighed above him, but could only find the dull contour twisting into a sweetest smile, and it had a warm metallic smell coming from within. He could feel the other’s body full of bruises and humidity. Those wounds, would they ever heal? Would they ever heal just enough for him to forget that what he loved more than anything has been soiled beyond recognition?

“I’d never do this if I didn’t want it with you”, cooed the younger figure sitting comfortably on top of him; tender moist fingers slipped under the crimson fabric of the old kimono. “Open yourself to me. Only to me.”

They were touching the tattoos. It made his inked skin crawl, it made him hurt. The marks, the scars, they were uncovered. He was scared, he was in pain and he couldn’t breathe.

“No… don’t look at me. _Aoba, please…_ ”

The smile was no more.

“You’re truly hopeless. You really can’t let me in because you’d rather to take your penance in solitude and keep quiet forever. But you have no problem on accepting someone else’s burden in you. You must be enjoying it, how you are rewarded with kindness or sex for being a good listener and a reliable friend, isn’t that right? But all of it is merely an act. You love it when they depend on you, but you’d rather die than letting others see the real wretched you. You can’t even trust your closest friends to save your poor little soul. You think you’re a bad person and don’t deserve half of what you give.”

Tears were flowing unrestrained, and they were burning. “Stop…” It did not only hurt to hear, it was shameful, exhausting.

He wanted the comfort of those hands once more, but it wasn’t over yet.

“… I am opening myself wide just for you. It’s the perfect reward for you after putting up with my problems; isn’t that what you wanted?”

“ _Aoba…_ ”

Yes, he was right. This is what he’s been craving for so long. Even if it felt wrong, even if it hurt, it was everything he had always wanted.

“You make me happy. If I’m all yours, I don’t have to ask for anything in return, right?”

Was this good?

Was it alright to be like this?

“ _I feel sick…_ ”

One tender pasty hand cupped his face. “I know you’re going to protect me, as you always have.”

“But I failed. I couldn’t—” The index finger pressed against his trembling lips, shutting away the truth that hurt him the most. In exchange of that, one kind smile blossomed over him, the most beautiful smile pain could provide.

“You still can if you listen to me.”

****

Clear had arrived to the building shortly after they took Mink in. Ever since, the gas mask guy had been restless and couldn’t stop going up and down all the time, until dawn. Aoba didn’t feel very sleepy either, because of the nightmares and the brief exchange of gazes between him and Mink. He couldn’t stop thinking about it. Mink had looked at him with something very different from what he last remembered. He remembered the coldness of that man’s gaze, but this time, he found something full of raw emotion. Also… was it him, or Mink’s eyes had changed of color?

Anyways, he had nothing but awful memories about that Mink. Maybe that was the reason why was this affecting him so much.

His granny had spent the night tending the wounds of the man, and Mizuki refused to let him go to the second floor to take a look at him. No matter how much he attempted to talk Mizuki into letting him at least see his grandma, his friend’s refusal was firm. Without wanting to start a fight, he was resigned to do as they said.

Koujaku was found asleep in his bed again, wrapped tightly in his bedsheets. Aoba felt tempted to kick him out of sleep to demand an explanation as to why did he go missing during dinner… but ultimately got some common sense to abstain himself from doing that. He couldn’t forget what his grandma revealed to him , it was still too much to take in…

On the other hand, her promise still weighed on his mind; there’s was so much she was capable of doing, but if it came to it, would he be able to protect her? Maybe he should not go to Platinum Jail after all.

During the next morning he visited Noiz in hopes of talking to him again, but the brat was asleep as a rock too. Bored, Aoba had been carrying Takatsuki’s journal inside his jacket, but still didn’t read much of it —the notebook was dry, stinky and most of its writing too blurry to make out, and it was hard enough to hold it in his hands without freaking out because of the blood.

The first pages were merely a list of appointments of her school, names of people and their phone numbers or addresses. It was nothing but a typical appointment book, until the obvious abrupt change of patterns; Takatsuki’s first journal entry started two weeks after the day of Toue’s Special Commemorative Event. That was about ten months ago.

It had several scribbles at the top and bottom of several pages aside the date entries. She seemed to like doodling small moths, many of them were draw with little antennas that reminded him of bunny ears; all of these weren’t much of an artwork, but probably were drawn to fill those pages of dreadful events with something nice to contrast. He hardly understood the first entry, stained with darkened blood:

_XX / XX / 20XX_

_… … It’s not safe anymore to use any computer permanently, hence that’s why I’m using this old notebook, not that I was planning to get rid of it anytime soon anyways… … … glad Hibari-kun is safe, even though his family might be far too gone to save now. However, he encouraged me to document our lives as we try our best to not fall into Toue’s influence, I need to think of it as a way to distract me from the terrible outer world… … … I wish I had the nerve of saying out loud that we’re not all that lucky. I’m not good with small rooms and large crowds, besides I don’t know how reliable is it to leave our safety to those Ribsteez gangs… … … they’re always so unsightly, and I think they’re terrorists too … … … … we can hold on…. Father’s health is not good… … … still won’t talk to Mother, I hope they can stop acting like children, it’s ridiculous._

And there was a cute moth drawn at the bottom with its wings spread. He recalled Takatsuki catching students doodling on their notebooks during her lectures and she’d give them a hard time. She wasn’t very liked by her students if he remembered correctly, not because she was particularly harsh, but maybe because she spoke too fast and didn’t like repeating herself.

He closed the notebook, getting sick of the smell of blood and dried paper. He found Clear outside the apartment and seemed to be just as uneasy as before. Of course, he had the wakefulness to give Aoba a nice and loud ‘ _Good Morning_ ’ before getting back to his restless fidgeting. Had to ask if he was still concerned about Mink, perhaps Clear knew better.

“What if he’s been seriously hurt? He had horrible marks around his neck” Clear whimpered with his hands close to the gas mask’s bottom.

“I’m sure they’ve already taken care of any wounds he had. Granny is a damn good doctor after all.”

It didn’t calm Clear to hear that. Possibly Clear’s real problem wasn’t related to Mink’s health, at least not all of it. It picked Aoba’s interest. He reached out to the shoulder of the white coat and Clear was startled by it.

“What’s wrong, Clear?”

“Aoba-san… can I tell you a secret?” Sweet and timid voice leaned closer to Aoba’s face; Clear had his white gloved fingers twisting against each other. “I was the one who took him out of the North District yesterday. I knew he had to be in there… But he refused to let me carry him. I would have done it anyways, but I don’t know what stopped me… Something wasn’t right.”

The blue-haired one tilted his head. “You care a lot about him, don’t you?” He did expect Clear to nod energetically at his question.

“Yes. Even though Mink-san isn’t nice most of time, I think of him as a very good friend.” He could imagine it, the contrast between those two completely opposite characters. “When Aoba-san was sick in bed, I used to talk a lot to him. If I had a question for him, he’d almost always answer me. He knew a lot of interesting things…” Then, the masked guy slowly lowered his head, looking down at their feet. “I’m sorry, Aoba-san, I know that he did something awful to you before. It wasn’t my place to forgive him for it.”

Aoba shook his shoulders calmly, trying to not mind, even though he really did. He needed more elaboration about that matter, and he knew Clear wouldn’t give him the answers that he wanted.

“… I might need to have some words with him. Wanna help me?”

He was sure if Clear didn’t have a mask, whatever face he had would have gleamed with excitement, Clear’s body language was incredibly easy to read for someone who concealed his face. “Yes!”

They went down, and Mizuki talked to him again. Apparently, his grandma had allowed Mink to take up supplies for himself and then leave as soon as he was ready, as he strongly refused to join them or let them contact the group of Scratch for him. Of course, Mizuki, who was keeping a watch right at those moments, was reluctant to let Aoba go through the first floor to see that man; of course, Clear insisted it’d be fine as long as he was at Aoba’s side, but to no avail.

Before Mizuki could protest, Aoba had the impulse of pushing his friend aside angrily, he was tired of this shit. Clear apologized loudly about it, but the strangest thing was Mizuki’s lack of response… it wasn’t normal for him to take one hit and do nothing about it. As a matter of fact, Mizuki seemed appalled by it. However, Aoba didn’t have time to wonder nor he stopped because of it.

He went down, there were some men of Beni-Shigure hanging around with their respective weapons, doing their watch; and at the end of the hallway, he saw him. A man tall and of strong complexion with his arms nicely bandaged… He didn’t seem to be limping much, and he was carrying with one arm a very heavy-looking coat, and his belt strap had a knife holder… if was an intimidating sight, but it didn’t make Aoba hold back.

Clear called out enthusiastically: “Mink-san!”, waving his hand up when the dark man turned his head back.

Mink scowled the moment their eyes met again. It gave them no time to run after him, he simply jumped to the closest door and shut himself inside. It was Mizuki’s apartment, and by the looks of it, nobody was inside to prevent it. Aoba ran, angered by that mane, and he slammed the door with his hand, feeling it impossibly heavy.

“Okay, what’s the deal with you? You simply run away when you see me? Do you have a problem with me?” he grunted, attracting the attention of the men who already were on lookout duty. Clear had to take up some distance, in order to not let them intervene. “Oi, I’m talking to you! I know you’re putting your weight against the door! Of all people, I didn’t expect you to act like a kid!”, continued as he violently twisted and pulled the doorknob, obviously obstructed by a large body behind it. He sighed after fruitless attempts to open it.

His hands tensed against the surface of the door, he couldn’t hear a single sound coming from the inside, and Clear had tried his best to keep all the other men from intervening. It was almost strange how easily he kept them in line. Aoba put his attention back to the door. Admittedly, his approach was irrationally aggressive, but he couldn’t help it when all he had from Mink were only bad memories.

“I don’t know why did you come here or what happened to you. All I want to know is if it’s true if you did something to me, or tried to do something to me. Answer me.”

“… So Red told you already? He isn't lying.”

That was a very low and tired voice muffled behind the door. Also, something was _off_ about it. It wasn’t as cool as he expected. But in perspective, no man should be able to remain calm after such a long time out there alone, not even Mink.

“Did you come for me?” Aoba asked more composed, he wasn’t sure what he wanted to hear with that question.

“… I didn’t come here by free will.”

_And what the hell was that supposed to mean?_

“Well, why did you have to abandon Scratch? From what I know, you didn’t seem to be the man who’d abandon his own people over nothing, so, whatever reason, it should be really important.” Still, more prolonged silence. “Hey, are you listening to me? Mink? Are you still in there?”

“Who are you?” the grave voice asked. That question really put him off.

“… I honestly hope you’re joking with me.”

“I will ask again: _who are you_?” he spoke, this time more hoarse and urging, making the young man shudder in fright. It was rapidly getting more uncomfortable than he had in mind.

“It’s _me_. You kidnapped me once, remember?… Just what are you playing?” Maybe it was a serious issue, but he didn’t want to relieve that memory, nor feel pity over the man that caused it, but this was all he could do. “I’m Aoba.”

Clear was still standing some feet away, the other guys had taken their distance and returned to their posts. And the gas mask guy was listening attentively to them. How wouldn’t he? The conversation has been nothing but uncomfortable and forced.

“ _Aoba_ , huh?”

He squinted. “… Are you okay?”

“…So that's how it is. Do you realize what've you done?”

“Done what? Are you accusing me of something?”

“… We are barely picking up the pieces of what’s been broken… They’ve destroyed everything. What are we doing here? Why did he bring me here? What does he want?”

It was all mumbling and grunting coming from that man. He was either completely out of his mind or probably forgot how to speak properly. It enraged Aoba.

“Okay, you lost me. I have no fucking idea what you’re talking about! I feel like you just made me waste my time here. Instead of giving me some answers, you’re being a quizzical asshole… Can’t you at least tell me if you know _Captive Princess_?”

“… Who the hell 's that?”

He resisted the urge of slamming his hand against the door. It was something so vital for his interests and not even Mink, who happened to be his last option, could answer that. “Ugh… never mind.”

They kept quiet as Aoba lingered against the door for a few more seconds. He could tell Mink was still holding on the other side, breathing soundly. Clear approached slowly, he had to listen to each word, but didn’t contribute at all, which was strange.

“I’m being followed.” The older man suddenly outlined. His voice was notoriously different, much colder. Aoba frowned, confused.

“Followed by who?”

“It’s pointless to ask who, when the most useful questions would be ‘ _what_ ’ and ‘ _how_ ’. I’m being followed by two of _them_ , that’s all I can tell for sure.”

He was being sketchy, but Aoba had noticed the change in his behavior.

“Monsters are following you. Why not get rid of them? Why facing them on your own if they’re such a bother?”

“You may think it’s very simple. It’s not. There are monsters that can’t be killed. And certainly there are monsters who simply serve to pursuit certain individuals for very specific reasons we can’t explain yet. You’d have noticed by now.”

Those words immediately incited Aoba’s memories of several encounters he witnessed until now, more precisely the rabbit-head they met when he tried to save Noiz with Clear. Also… the ‘dog’. He could tell with a cold head, they all acted differently from the common gray faceless monsters that roamed all over the island. Even his grandma had spoken about it. Monsters who could read into people’s minds…

The fact that Mink has been facing things like that or worse was reason enough to be concerned about his health, Clear was concerned, and if he knew that much, he’d have seen unfathomable depths.

“… Still, you shouldn’t be facing them on your own. You may get killed, you know. I don’t think I understand you at all, but if it’s really that awful for you, then don’t be alone. It’s for idiots to go out alone with Midorijima like this.” He leaned his forehead against the door, and somehow, it felt warm. Also, it strongly smelled of burnt wood. Clear wouldn’t be able to detect it through his gas mask, but it was also sort of unexplainable. “I was really hoping you’d give me some answers for other things, but I guess you’re not the right person for that.”

“And what were you looking for?”

“Not sure anymore. You encountered Noiz not long ago, right? You helped him.”

“So he’s alive…”

“You sound surprised.”

“It’s surprising enough that I’m here having this stupid conversation with you.”

“You never intended to abandon him, did you? Something tells me that you wouldn’t.”

“Whatever is keeping me from getting killed can’t protect everyone else from the curse I’m carrying with me. I can’t stay here and put innocent lives in risk. Besides, I need to work alone for this.”

“That’s just stupid! You should at least—”

“You should have also figured this out on your own already: you’re precisely the one person I’d never want help from. _You_ can’t help me…”

He felt chills by just hearing him, he didn’t understand why was Mink like that or what did he even mean by that. Clear was also very quiet, as if he was a child listening to two adults argue.

“… You’ve lost your voice…” the man behind the door murmured, each word vibrated against the door.

“What?” The warmth faded, the scent got weaker. “Hey, Mink, are you still there? Mink?” The door was lighter, and suddenly he was able to move the doorknob, opening the door. There was a heavy sound that came from the inside. The man wasn’t inside anymore, and one window at the bottom was left open. “Fuck.”

_Why would the bastard have to escape out of the blue without saying anything else?_ The blood boiled inside his head, and couldn’t help but to run towards the window. Clear was just behind him, calling out for Mink as they made sure nobody was inside the apartment.

Without thinking one second, he angrily leapt through the window to the white street, and Clear followed. The mist was thicker today, but he could still see the dark figure of the man running to the other side of the square.

But he stopped. Aoba stopped too as he identified the shape of a familiar-looking red kimono obstructing the Mink’s path. How did he even get there, he couldn’t know, but didn’t even try to wonder.

Koujaku had his hand ready on his old customized sword’s hilt, directing a threatening stare to Mink. The blue-haired young man’s heart was racing, and he couldn’t help it. Koujaku’s eyes were clouded with a slow-ascending rage. He’s never seen Koujaku so angry before.

“I’ve got no business with you.” Mink said, stepping to the side, fully composed. Yet Koujaku masterfully drew his sword, pointing its edge to the darker man.

“No, you’re not going to leave here that easily, not if you had the fucking nerve of coming to this place after all you’ve done to Aoba.” Koujaku spat, his voice naturally breaking after spending so long asleep. But Aoba was listening. How bad was his friend’s grudge against that man?

“… What the hell are you bickering about now?”

Clear quickly jumped between them, placing special focus on the swordsman. “Koujaku-san, please, let’s not start a fight!”

“Don’t you fucking play dumb with me. You know EXACTLY what you’ve done. It was your fault! It was you who turned Aoba like this! All the damage you’ve done to him… there’s no way you’re getting out of this!”

Aoba’s head was ringing. People from the lookout were coming closer, asking for Koujaku to calm down, yet nobody quite brave enough to get any closer.

“… Just what do you think has happened?” Mink muttered.

On that moment, Koujaku had tensed up, his face furrowed so tightly he seemed like an entirely different person; and somehow he seemed redder.

“I KNOW what happened!” Koujaku growled, advancing more threateningly to the older man. “Aoba himself told me! He told me everything, you piece of shit rapist!”

_… What?_

His heart was beating so fast, it was painful to breathe. He watched how the dark of the blood sprinkled over the pavement on as several people started to scream Koujaku’s name in fear. It overwhelmed Aoba. It was painful to breathe, so painful… as if his throat was splitting open. His knees were trembling, yielding.

Why would Koujaku suddenly say that? Why? Was he talking about _that one time_ …? Even if that was it, he never said anything to Koujaku. It was awful and unforgivable, but it really never went so far. Was he missing something?

For one second that seemed to be an eternity, he looked at the blood on the ground. Next thing was the sight of Mink slowly backing away while Clear’s bloody glove held the edge of Koujaku’s sword, barely grasped it in time before striking a mortal blow against Mink’s neck. How did Clear accomplish that? He didn’t see.

Violently, Koujaku yanked his blade back from Clear’s wounded hand, which seemed to twitch painfully at the motion. Mink kept on stepping back, but the enraged man readied himself for another attack.

“Koujaku-san, please stop it!” Clear shrieked, willing to intervene once more. This was more than Aoba could take.

It almost seemed as if Koujaku irradiated heat, it seemed so unreal, but the tips of his black hair started to acquire a crimson tone. “You’re not going to leave until I make you pay for it!” he grunted, at the same time, Aoba got back on his feet.

“Koujaku stop this now! Don’t do this… !” In that very moment, Koujaku’s red eyes widened as a long high-pitched cry of a woman was heard at the distance, successfully paralyzing Koujaku with dread. Mink took this chance to start running off to the fog.

Before Aoba could go to talk some sense into his old friend, he went out pursuing the man, madness returned. Inevitable, they all four men started to run after each other, Clear was  going even faster, it was impossible. The fog thickened and the streets were barely visible with each step taken. It still hurt to breathe, but Aoba didn’t care, for the lives of three men were in danger right now as he kept on sprinting to the twisted alleys getting increasingly sinister.

For several seconds, the sound of his own steps and his dry gasps were the only things accompanying him. He could no longer see Clear, Koujaku, Mink. They were all lost deep inside the fog, and he couldn’t even tell where he was going anymore. He looked behind, but nobody from Beni-Shigure had been following him ever since he started losing sight of those men devoured by the mist.

He realized with dread that he was alone, lost and unarmed, just like the first time. This time he was horribly aware of what it meant. Should he advance or return? He didn’t know anymore. He could go back and fetch a tool for self-defense… but if he did, he’d probably lose them for good.

Ultimately, he carried onwards.

He went through streets he couldn’t recognize anymore, stores looted and houses vandalized, the pavement was wet and a terrible rotten stench was rising. The gray was going darker little by little, even to the point he started to notice how the whiteness of the fog was getting tainted by earthly colors like brown and red. The architecture of the streets was slowly changing too. By the time he turned his face back, everything behind him had changed completely. There was a nasty sound of humidity squelching on his feet, like insects getting crushed.

He could still see, luckily there was a faint light of maroon coming from the upside of the alley, as if the skies were red. The fog had practically vanished, but it left dark red streets around him, and echoes of viscous wetness moving around him, yet he could see nothing. Beyond the end of the alley, there was nothing but darkness.

Aoba figured right then where he was now.

“Fuck… Fuck, not again!” he muttered in shaky voice. The squelching was getting louder, so he started sprinting carefully. “Koujaku! Clear!” it was probably his own fear, he called out their names so loudly it left deafening echoes in the reduced space he was exploring. “Mink!” Why did this have to happen now? Would this mean he’d have to face the most horrible monsters again?

He had walked for just a couple of minutes, turning to new alleys with very old-fashioned Japanese style architectures, all tiles were bright red contrasting the dark fresh paint that adorned every building. Aoba had his shoulders shaking at the whole perception of the atmosphere; he even thought that the fresh paint on the walls was melting, constantly moving…

Again, he called out each three names, keeping his eyes open for every corner he examined. The dampness of the air made it harder to take deep breaths, and for several minutes he wandered aimlessly, calling out for anyone tirelessly.

He finally walked out of the tight suffocating alleys, and he found a wider street. He lost track of time, so he wouldn’t be surprised if he spent half an hour like that. His eyes focused ahead of him, and he looked at a very familiar small house standing out among the red-tiled buildings.

It was his old house. It hasn’t changed one bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can automatically tell I'm writing some major OOCness in this chapter? No? Yes?  
> EDIT: Now Mink's dialogue is supposed to make more sense. Thank God.


	13. Blank

All the pavement, all the walls and windows were painted in disgusting black ooze, the tiles were bright red and seemed to possess light of their own. The sight was disturbing nonetheless, especially when the only thing that uncannily stood out was the unchanged appearance of the old Seragaki home. It remained untainted somehow, shining among the blackened neighborhood. Even the same flowerpots and the plants were still place and alive, seemingly.

Aoba hesitated for one minute, but when the noises around him started to transform into wet footsteps and paused moaning, he figured staying out wasn’t any better. Whether he’d find Koujaku in there or not, he was completely useless without anything to defend himself with.

As he entered the house, the door was unsurprisingly unlocked. It’s interior was very tranquil and dusty. Upon first looks, the entrance was very much like he last remembered. The shoes were still there, he thought it’d be pointless to take his own off even though he knew she’d lash at him if it happened that she came back to see muddy footsteps all over the wooden floor. All the trinkets and boxes his grandma used to keep crammed under the stairs were still in place, even the old phone she liked to keep. Even for someone of her generation, she always had a thing for collecting old technology… He closed the door behind him, and this time, made sure he locked it.

There was little light, when he entered the kitchen, he saw everything was in its proper order, even if there was a thick cover of dust on the furniture, the stove, the fridge, the sink, the entire room was undisturbed. But the door to the living room was jammed. The back door to the alley behind the house seemed to be unlocked though; he’d first investigate the rest of the house just in case. He looked into the cutlery drawer and nothing was missing. Reluctantly his fingers picked the vegetable knife from the drawer, confirming it was still sharp enough to do its job, but he hoped it’d never come to actually use it to cleave into flesh.

Just for curiosity, he opened the fridge, to see if the food was still in there, rotten or not. Part of his brain had allowed him to believe it wouldn’t hurt to do that. He soon regretted it, as a putrid stench came out, also the wet sound of something moving inside; he closed the fridge immediately. Something had leaked out the brief moments, it was black and slimy; it smelled like vomit and dead animal… he had to cover his mouth and back away to stop himself from coughing. The smell was so terrible he had tears coming out from his eyes.

Yeah, everything was looking too good to be true.

He thought of going up to investigate his old bedroom, but when he tried pulling the door open, he found out it was forcefully jammed. He gave it many tries, but it was pointless. He went to his grandma’s bedroom door, but it was just the same. Locked doors were his new least favorite thing in this world.

The whole house was built with wood, he knew this house had belonged to his grandma before he was even born… He could always hear the creaking of the wood on the roof or the first floor whenever someone was walking inside the house, the noise never bothered him anyways. Well, it didn’t until now.

He had the knife firmly held on his hand while almost crawling downstairs with utmost care. He heard the creaking coming from the living room. On the entrance floor there were still the tracks of his muddy shoes, but only those. Past the kitchen, the door to the living room was half-lidded… He had locked the main door after entering; could it be that someone was inside here all along? Would it be a monster? A person? Mink? Koujaku? Clear?

With a ready grip on the knife, he violently slid the door open, and waited for the slightest move to occur. There was something unusual inside the living room, a dark existence that disturbed everything that was normal in his grandma’s belongings; it was standing in fours, partially covered by the pink couch, and its bright eyes returned the gaze with a faint sense of familiarity. Aoba shuddered, but even though the beast never stopped being of dreadful appearance, he requited that feeling of acquaintance.

His heart wasn’t beating fast anymore… but looking at the ‘dog’ from closer, he had confirmed it was completely covered in hairless veiny skin and the eyes seemed more humane than beastly despite their yellowish. It wasn’t meant to bring ease, the design overall was an abomination of nature, but he wanted to trust it was safe to put down the knife. The creature never flinched at the sight of the weapon however. He didn’t want to be scared.

Silently, Aoba approached, staring at it. His nerves had failed him though: his mouth started trembling.

“You’re not… going to attack me, right?” Aoba spoke softly, hoping it intelligence allowed it to perceive his honesty. “You saved me and Noiz back then… didn’t you? Thank you.” And then he bowed his head lightly. But the dog creature remained staring at him, breathing in the uncanny compass through its deformed black jaw. He’d take that silence as a ‘ _You’re welcome_ ’.

Now, looking at it closer, the monster seemed to wear a spiky dark collar around its thick gray neck. It was easy to miss because of the lack of light and because it was a very small collar. He wanted to take a look at it, if he could get even closer.

The dog moves flinched and its face furrowed with a very low growl, even its pointy ears pulled back; Aoba backed off very carefully, afraid it might bite one of his limbs off.

“He’s not going to harm you; he doesn’t have a reason to.”

That small gentle voice was all it took for Aoba to jump in real fright, confident he’s been alone with the beast for all this time. It wasn’t his imagination, as he turned his head back while his heart was ready to pump its way out of his ribs.

The person who talked was standing on the opposite corner of the room, Aoba didn’t notice their presence until now. This stranger was wearing only white clothes —a skirt and a loose sweater—, tainted by time and dirt, but whiter than anything else he’s seen for a while, also wore a very out-of-place choker necklace with what seemed to be the skull of a bird and a short chain hanging from the bottom of it. Their shoulder-length black hair wasn’t anywhere was messy as his own combed hair… Indeed, they have both met before, Aoba recalled. He had seen those black eyes staring at him from the outside of the refuge several times, and he even got to follow this person to the abandoned school.

Now the very same person was standing there as if it nothing was odd about it. He didn’t know what to say, but they did stare at each other mixed with disbelief and confusion.

“Is that one with you?” asked Aoba referring to the ‘dog’ creature. The person blinked briefly and shook their head lightly.

“Not quite.” Their voice was too soft, it was hard to tell their gender if they had one at all, it wasn’t the thing that disquieted him. This person was too pasty pale, and it was giving away a very ghastly aura along their face deprived of the warmth of emotion. “He’s actually very fond of you, but I think I’ve upset him. Sometimes he bites.”

“So… why are you with him?” Aoba queried, uncertain of what was actually going on. The pallid one shook its head once more, this time twisting its thin mouth to what seemed a very reserved smile.

“I’m not.”

“I just— I don’t know where to start. Have you been wandering around the refuge at the Western District? I know I’ve seen your face before… I don’t feel safe about you.”

The black eyes lowered to his feet, but then lifted their head shyly. “… I’m sorry about before. I put you in danger when you followed me to that school.”

Again, its face lacked of emotion, but that weak voice managed to pull some strings of shame, they were convincing enough for him.

“I-It’s fine! I mean, anyways, it was stupid me to blindly think I could do anything to help you from whatever dangers! …Now I see that you’re pretty much unharmed.”

The person in white lightly moved them shoulders up and down. “…Am I?”

“Yeah…” Actually, he felt dumb for saying that; didn’t they just say that the ‘dog’ bit them? He felt really stupid. “Look, I don’t want to be rude, but who are you?”

Its smile was shy and weak, but probably was the only thing capable of injecting some life to that chalk-white face. “My name is Blank.” _Nice, another one with an English name_. Somehow, the name was barely fitting, if only the character showed a little less emotion. “… You must be… _Aoba_ , right?”

Certainly that question put his blood into ice. “H-how do you know?”

“I simply do… I know there’s no way that you’d remember, but we have met before, very long ago. I can’t explain…” Their smile started to fade as the words came out, as if they stopped believing in their own words little by little, realization of one mistake that nobody else could see. “I can’t say I remember either.”

Aoba could still hear the ‘dog’ breathing irregularly behind him, and after looking back to make sure it wasn’t hostile, he cleared his throat to speak with the other one. “… Listen, uhm, is it okay if I just call you Blank?”

“It’s fine.”

“Alright, see, I’m looking for my friend, Koujaku, he’s wearing a red kimono… he was after another man, Mink; he was tall, dark—”

“I’ve seen the first one.”

His eyes widened, surprised his question was answered right away. “Have you?”

“He was here. He went this way.”

He watched Blank walk past the living room to the kitchen. Aoba tried to follow, but was suddenly taken aback when he saw the creature move its long black limbs towards the same direction. His eyes met with the yellow ones again, but the creature instantly looked down… it stopped before the door, as if waiting for him to go inside first. It was the most surreal thing he’s witnessed. He didn’t stop to take another look to the dog collar it carried on its neck, so far all he wanted to do was to keep it cool and hope to find any of the men that went missing. The one in white kept on walking towards the back door,

“If you’ve seen Koujaku, did you speak to him or noticed something?”

“… I got scared, so I stayed out of his way.” It was a weird thing to say, if this feeble-looking person wasn’t disturbed by the dog-creature, why would they be scared by Koujaku? But then again, that man almost murdered Mink and Clear… no doubt that something like that should be scary.

“Didn’t you happen to see other of my friends? He was wearing a gas mask and a white trench coat. His name was Clear. Or maybe you’ve seen Mink? I told you he was a tall man and with long brown hair?” Aoba asked.

“I’m sorry”, Blank muttered, slowly shaking their head.

“It’s fine”, he sighed as he moved the door at the back of the kitchen, to discover the alley completely black and air swollen in dampness… but Aoba suddenly leaped back when the large body of the creature rushed to the outside, like an animal awaiting for the chance to stretch its legs at the open. He quickly lost sight of the dog-creature, still in daze for its inhuman shape that briefly grazed his legs. “W-where is he going?”

The black-haired youth leaned to pick his head outside the door. “I believe he wants to wait for you ahead. Aren’t dogs usually good for tracking?”

“Well, that’d be pretty amazing, if only I gave him a hint about Koujaku. But I don’t think we could call him a ‘dog’. I don’t even know yet if I will be safe around him.”

“I can help you find your friend if that’s okay with you.” There it was the little smirk again, Blank stood closer to him and then Aoba noticed that Blank was much taller. “I’ll keep you safe, Aoba.”

Not knowing why, this small detail gave way to a smile on his side. “You’re talking to me as if I was some lost kid, you know?” The words almost came out on their own accord, he didn’t understand how, but they sounded somewhat wistful because of Blank. “Why do you want to help me?”

“I believe I’ll have to ask you a great favor later on, if that should convince you that I’m not trying to fool you… Besides, I feel like I’ve wanted to meet you for a very long time.” While saying all of this, the pale character had stared down on their feet most of the time, giving away their bashful demeanor.

“Well, if you want to come with me, that’s fine, although I’d like you to tell me more about this ‘favor’. I’ll see that I can help you just as much.”

“… There’s a person I want to save. I know you can do it.”

“I’m not much of a savior…”

“I don’t ask for much. If you want to take more of your friends, I wouldn’t mind. I just want you to come with me to Platinum Jail.”

“P-platinum Jail?”

“Yes. I know it’s very dangerous, that’s why I need help.”

“… Why wouldn’t you go with the other survivor groups? I’m sure they could have heard your request.”

“No. I’ve tried, but my request is never heard… besides, you’re the only one who can really help me.”

“Why?”

“… You’re been in Platinum Jail before, haven’t you? I know that you’ve been in there.”

Aoba’s sweat was cold. Just… who was this character? How much did they know?

“Still, how can you say that I’ll be able to help just because of that? And who’s this person you want to save? Would that person be still alive right now?”

Blank lowered their small black eyes in shame. “Please believe me. I know he’s still alive. I know you can help my brother… Aoba, I’m going to save your friend. If I do that, will you agree to help me?”

He sighed. It was clearly a harsh situation to be in, and if all of it turned out to be true, Aoba knew his conscience wouldn’t let him live through that failure. Blank seemed genuinely kind, but Aoba didn’t feel like he could let this one too close to him. No matter how he looked at it, this was still a person he barely met and under extremely suspicious circumstances… and he remembered well what his granny told him about the monsters that appeared in the island.

Well, he did take his pills this morning, yet nothing was completely certain. He had entered in the same dark atmosphere where he found Clear and Noiz the first time after all.

“Alright, I’ll do it. But I still have no idea how do you want me to save your brother, alright? I don’t think I have the power to do that.”

“… It’s fine. I’m so glad that you accepted.”

That was a very faint expression of relief.

Lost in thought, he didn’t realize he left the mysterious character standing outside the door, waiting. Warily, he followed, knife still firmly inside his grasp. One step into the darkness and he already felt the air weighed over his body, the atmosphere was threatening, but Blank wasn’t the one who caused it.

“I don’t want to offend you… but have you realized that you look like a ghost?” He asked, not thinking it through as he looked into the maroon alleys, the echoes of water drops and squelching louder than before.

“I suppose that's how I look. I’d like to think I’m not one though”, answered the taller one, and took out of their sleeve a pocket-sized flashlight, it seemed like it could be clipped to his jacket, as Blank gently buckled it to his breast pocket. “Here, you can take this.”

“Oh, thanks.” It was in that brief moment in which he the pale bony fingers of this person touched his chest, even if just briefly, even felt their breath by standing this close. He knit his brows lightly, acknowledging the sensation. “… I was actually worried for a minute, but then I felt your hand. I really doubt that ghosts feel warm.”

There was an expression of relief on Blank when he talked. “It’s nice of you to say that.”

As awkward as it started, they went ahead to the left of the alley, which was probably the opposite side to where the dog-creature had gone, but Blank remarked nothing about it. It wasn’t as dark as to not know where he was stepping on, the whole ambience felt like blood had stained its vapors, not to mention that the tiles of the roofs were still gleaming with crimson and the scarce view of the skies only revealed the dull red illumination. It was like being inside an incredibly surreal and gloomy landscape from a painting.

They eventually walked out of the alley to a wider street, only confirming his fears, that none of the neighboring buildings looked familiar at all. None of it resembled any part of the Old District… not to mention that each building had an intimidating unnatural look, as they possessed no doors or any type of entrance, just windows. The windows were pitch-black from the inside and walls were coated in the same gross muddy paint that somehow kept on making icky sounds.

How would he even begin to look for someone in a place like this? Should he call out for them again? He did just that for a couple of times, but in response, he heard some very disturbing groans coming from both back and forth. However, his new companion always made sure to remain in sight, occasionally glancing back at him. It was somewhat creepy to see how unaffected Blank seemed despite the ambience. They passed through some blocks, but after surrounding a couple of them, Aoba came in conclusion that none of these houses had an entrance at all, and not only that, but with every unnatural noise appearing behind them, he felt the kitchen knife in his hand increasingly smaller and useless.

“Look over here.” The sickly voice of his companion called for his attention as he turned right from where they stood.

It would seem like a strike of sheer luck or magic, but there’s no way he could have seen that door upon that building they just passed. By the looks of it, it was a back door from one of the houses, and the wood it was made from was unsurprisingly soaked in maroon.

He could tell there was something extremely fishy about this whole business, but he didn’t feel like ignoring this chance. Carefully, he pushed the door aside, taken that it was actually unlocked.

The inside of the house was, as he predicted, in complete darkness. He turned on the flashlight that Blank gave to him, and its power wasn’t half bad. The inside of the house had wooden floor and several framing sticks standing all over the light could reach, as if it was an unfinished construction.

The house had an old-Japanese style indeed, but it was clearly half-way constructed. Again, he thought there was no point on taking off his shoes… Blank simply walked in without a care or consideration. The more he thought about it, the stranger it was that behavior of theirs. Clearly, it wasn’t some sort of specter, but Aoba was confident that he wasn’t dealing with a regular person…

His flashlight investigated the inside of the house, the ceiling was very high and some corners were hard to scrutinize with the flashlight alone; Blank kept on walking in front of him, of course, trying to not block the sight. He took a closer look to the wooden supports that were supposed to be for the construction of walls… there was something black wrapped on parts of them. They looked like very thin threads.

From a closer observation, those threads seemed to be constantly moving, snaring like snakes… but they weren’t threads. He realized with silent shock that it was actually hair. Very long black hair.

A loud thump that came from his back made him jump, almost trip on his knees while his heart struggled to not beats its way out of his chest. The door from where he entered. Quick steps ran to where the light couldn’t reach. Did they just get locked up? He went to where the door was, but it was stuck. Surprisingly, Blank helped him to push the door, but to no avail… there was uncertainty on their pale face, he could tell they were as much as scared as he was.

More uneven footsteps coming from the house’s deepest shadows, he grew more anxious. Aoba moved his light right to left until a new shade of red came into view. Long red cloth that moved in a person’s shape… it was easy to associate.

“Koujaku!”

Thoughtlessly he ran after the vague figure, but it started to escape into the blackness, the whole place was dirty and reeked of dampness. “Aoba, wait!” He was called, but when he finally found a door, a very long groan came from above his head.

Something struck on his head, merely pushing him off balance and when he looked up… he felt his stomach shrink and his arms rose above him to shield himself from the utter horror his eyes had caught. He rolled over the floor before it could strike him again, quickly getting back on his feet to take a better look to his attacker.

Mizuki had mentioned some monsters could creep from the ceilings, he recalled. This one looked very different however; its four legs were abnormally long and reminded him of an insect… and for his dread, it resembled much that of a deeply mutilated and eviscerated human body, as its legs were open and its bottom part hollowed out, exposing the carved flesh of its insides… the upper part of its head was missing and it left a rotten-looking stump in place where its nose or eyes should have been, however, it did have a whole mouth gaping mutely as if it could hardly breathe.

Aoba’s hands were shaking, the knife he had really could be useless if he didn’t attack fast enough to kill. To kill. Kill. _Kill?_ He could always run, couldn’t he? Aoba jumped back as the aberration reached out with its elongated arm, he had to swing his knife to prevent it from touching him, managing to slice its palm. Its four limbs had hands on each, it was probably helpful as it went climbing from the dark ceilings unnoticed.

Blank was already at Aoba’s side when he lost sight of the long-legged creature. They needed to hurry to the door at once.

It came back, it managed to surprise Aoba twice, as he didn’t become the target this time. There was a weak gasp of pain as Blank was pulled back from their hair and another hand was threatening the neck of the pale prey. Blank’s expression had quickly twisted into one of pure agony, and it was right then when he felt something strange inside his head.

The blue-haired was driven by a sudden burst of brute force as he viciously slit the veiny wrist of the hand that seized his companion’s hair, letting it bleed on the dark razor of his knife.

Having freed Blank wasn’t enough. Aoba had the idea of using his hand to pull the monster down, making it fall heavy to the creaking ground, and right there, he sank the knife again where its throat was. He did it again and again, despite the long limbs reaching to his neck in attempts to strangle him. His hands were soaking in disgusting cold liquid, he kept stabbing until he could not take it anymore, those hands were squeezing too hard. He broke free stabbing the large members, feeling the blade grind against the bone of the monster as he tore through the flesh; it filled his body with a sensation of sickness. He thought he should have gotten used to it already.

He got back on his feet backing away, not without kicking the slaughtered beast first. It kept twitching feebly on the floor, but soon it wouldn’t, he was sure. He had dropped the knife realizing his own arm was numb and trembling.

Quietly, he accepted Blank’s hand on his shoulder, the only comfort he could rely on in this moment. He didn’t look back at the body, he just walked away thinking about taking one of the wooden sticks  of the house’s framing, something long enough to defend himself more effectively.

He didn’t notice until they entered to the next room, which seemed to be an unfinished bathroom with stone bathtub, while having Blank’s hand on his shoulder, he felt it was a very heavy hand. It was heavy, but also very warm. “I think more of them are coming behind, we need to hurry.” Blank closed the door behind them, as Aoba looked over the incomplete place.

The bathtub was also covered in the same black threads he saw before on the previous room. He knew these weren’t coincidence… he needed to find Koujaku before anything worse could happen. The hair had life of its own, and it was overflowing from the bathtub.

“Here, you can use this.” Blank had called him again while he was engrossed in his own worries, a long piece of steel was delivered to his hands. A pipe.

“And… what will you defend yourself with?” Aoba muttered.

“I’m not very good at fighting… uhm, I picked the knife you dropped.” Indeed, Aoba didn’t see it at first because of the loose white sleeves of Blank. He supposed it was better than nothing.

“Just don’t get too far away from me, alright?”

“Yeah.”

However, it perturbed him the fact that despite being drenched in monster’s blood, Blank didn’t hesitate on taking the knife, not even after witnessing the brutal killing he took part in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, can you at least pretend you don't know what's the deal with Blank? This chapter's illustration (and the previous one) can be found [right here](http://pinkromantic.tumblr.com/post/96009650374/two-radically-different-illustrations-for-my). Thanks a lot for kudos and feedback and bookmarks. You have no idea how much they mean to me!  
> Also, this chapter's monster is actually [this one](http://37.media.tumblr.com/5e8a54e24012628e01e5c8300911211c/tumblr_n3mpqmQrnT1s8l3o7o4_r1_1280.png) I made months ago. I'm glad I finally reached the point in which I can use it!


	14. Please, Don't Forgive Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lo, I changed the summary and tags again.  
> I've taken great pride on writing this chapter. It's certainly longer than the usual. For this chapter, if you dare, I recommend you to listen to [this song](http://silent-hill-heaven.tumblr.com/post/83349709097/inspired-by-the-works-of-akira-yamaoka) when you get to the second half. Good luck!

There was a very palpable uneasiness about Blank's presence —but given the eerie atmosphere of the twisted place overall, it could be just his own anxiety—. It wasn’t very convenient to wander all alone anyways, so pushing Blank away didn't seem like such a good idea.

They were followed by two more monsters that looked exactly like the previous one, as they went through another corridor of the same unfinished Japanese house.

He merely sustained a blow on his shoulder, thanks to Blank’s interference. These long-legged monsters were hard enough to detect as they were incredibly quiet… Thankfully Blank was very quiet too. Very sloppily, Blank had buried the blade of the kitchen knife into the neck of the abominable creature as it attempted to seize Aoba’s shoulders. Then he beat it with to the ground with the steel pipe, smashing bones and splattering its smelly blood all over the floor.

“Y-you’re much stronger than you look.” He stuttered, relieved that Blank managed to remain unharmed by his side. He noticed how the white one’s hands were shaking lightly.

“… Thank you. I wish I could help you better next time…”

Blank could say anything they wanted, but Aoba wasn’t completely sure that they didn’t know how to put up a fight. Looks and attitude were a contradiction to their physical condition, Blank was perfectly capable of keeping up with him.

They ran into the garden of what seemed to belong to a large old house, it was really vast and tenebrous… The skies were completely dark now and the flashlight was the only medium that let them know where to place their feet next. The ground had no greenery, but it had stones paving a path towards the other side… he almost slipped twice, given the stones were wet for some reason… The stench of metal was even stronger than before, he didn’t have any reason to doubt it was the scent of blood. Why was there blood on everything anyways?

The obscure garden had a great pond in the middle of the whole place. Its waters were dark and calm and there were some stepping stones dividing it in half, making way to the other side. He wasn’t desperate enough to cross it, but when he and Blank discovered that there was no way of surrounding it because the sides of the garden were blocked by rubble and several white plastic bags amounted on both sides, and although contents of the bags were unknown, Aoba wasn’t willing to open one up to figure it out; they were big stuffed bags leaking dark red liquid, he could easily guess a whole adult man could fit inside one of them…

With his skin on the edge and filled with a sentiment of resignation, Aoba guided Blank again to the trail of stepping stones that went through the pond. He’d hate the idea of tripping on the watery place, unknowing of what was inside it. It had no signs of life, only turbid dark water, unmoving and uneasily tranquil. While trying to walk on the stones as carefully as possible, Blank supported their hand over his shoulder… and well, it was heavy. Not as heavy as to make him fall, but it was rather a strong grip to support oneself in case the worst were to happen; he honestly wanted to believe Blank didn’t lie when they said they’d keep him safe.

It was frightening enough to walk surrounded by darkness and unsightly water, he sure didn’t feel like hearing more ominous echoes,  making his skin crawl. Even Blank’s grip on his shoulder tightened a bit. It sounded like a blurred voice, indiscernible gender. He walked slower, looking from one side to another… He was hearing words that were taking meaning.

‘ _Mother_ ’, he could understand. It didn’t quite sound like a child’s tone though.

Suddenly, he stopped his tracks as the light touched a bright red lump lying across the stone way. He instantly regretted taking a closer look. The torso of a bloodied woman.

Her head and legs were submerged in the water, but her thin clothes were so red, and the long wound splitting her chest in half was so deep. Aoba didn’t feel like touching the corpse to move it, but he’d feel even worse if he stepped on it. Either way would be extremely disrespectful, whether it was a real corpse or not.

Blank wasn’t urging him to take a choice, but right now he could not go back. He rose his knee high while making sure to not step on the red body while Blank’s hand was still attached to his shoulder; he was taken over by such a vertigo, he thought that looking down at the corpse would make him lose balance.

_‘Mother, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to get angry at you. Mother… Mother?’_

As he heard those words echo, they were followed by a loud splash below their feet. Blank jumped back a little, because the body was suddenly gone. The surface of the water was now waving, as if something heavy sunk down. It was clear that the body was pulled down underwater, just below their very noses, so Aoba rushed Blank to come to his side and walk faster to the nearing end of the pond.

He gasped while holding his own hand close to his heart. He tried to think about the words he heard before they finished crossing the pond. He had known that voice for some time now, and that’s the part that scared him the most…

Blank looked over the perimeter even though Aoba didn’t always held out his light to the right direction.

“This door seems to be open. Let’s go.”

Aoba rushed towards Blank, who had found at the end of the garden a new side of the big house and a shoji sliding door. He was about to peek in, feeling already used to do it to be safe. Nervous hands took the door, the reeking wasn’t as intense as it was back there at the other side of the pond, but pointing his light to the inside of the house didn’t illuminate further than two tatamis. It was seemingly a more finished than the opposite side of the garden.

A growl. His senses perked up. It was a beastly growl coming from his left side, and Blank closed the space between both, naturally as scared as he was. The first thing he did was to rise the steel pipe he still had and pointed the light to the eyes that shone through the dark. It took him one second to realize to whom belonged those eyes.

The same wretched jaw and the same impossible humanoid shape, the ‘dog’ somehow had followed them to this place… and this time it looked particularly threatening. With each long stride, the prominent shoulder blades went up and down in turns, and Aoba didn’t know what to make out of this prolonged rumble coming from the creature.

Why was it approaching them like this? Was it going to attack?

One motion faster than sound, it propelled itself with its strong limbs towards Aoba, so the first thing he did was to shield himself with the pipe while keeping Blank behind him; the ‘dog’ had jumped above their heads, followed by a guttural roar and a heavy thump.

When Aoba turned to see where the ‘dog’ landed, he discovered the animalistic creature tearing with its knife-like fangs the skin off the upper body of one of the long-legged monsters from before. It was clearly struggling against the half-canine, but Aoba also witnessed the ends of blackened arms of the ‘dog’ holding it back and… if was sickening to watch, the ‘dog’ was actually strong enough to snap the bones of the other creature’s thin arm.

Blank pushed Aoba into the house while the ‘dog’ was still busy. They slid the door shut and backed away from it, the growls and gruesome sounds of flesh getting torn could still be heard clearly. The interior of the room they entered was actually cleaner than most parts they visited already. The shoji screens, as far as he could see with the flashlight, were painted with Japanese dragons, and the tatami mats were mostly untouched until they placed their dirty shoes on them. However, no objects of value were on sight. Blank approached the following door and revealed a dark hallway that extended further the size of the house.

He wouldn’t believe it was empty. Anything should appear when they’d least expect, however, Aoba was actually surprised with how much initiative Blank had. They opened a couple of rooms, thank goodness there were no stuck or locked doors, one of them seemed to be a woman’s bedroom and the other some sort of kitchen.

He kept hearing muffled growls coming from behind while he held on the light as Blank inspected the kitchen. Well, since Blank had survived this long on their own, they surely knew what to do and where to search. Inside the cupboards, there were mostly broken dishes and empty or destroyed cans. Beneath the stove Blank found a small yellow tin box with liquid inside of it. Oil. Beside it they found a box of matches and a pair of chopsticks, the one in white indiscriminately took all these objects, apparently they had large pockets inside their sweater.

“That should come in handy later, when there’s isn’t any wood that can burn over us, don’t you think?” Aoba asked, feeling unsure about their choice of objects to pick up. The whole house was made of wood anyways.

“Hmm, who knows” Blank simply murmured, not expressing any sort of particular opposition.

They walked past the room from which they entered before, the growls of the beast had calmed down a little. Until now, Aoba hadn’t stopped to wonder if they’d truly find Koujaku in this place at least. He could swear he heard his voice echo back there at the pond. Why would he say those words? Was it related to what his grandma told him about Koujaku’s secret?

Blank walked in front of Aoba, it was still disconcerting to see how easily they knew where to walk even if the light wasn’t touching there yet… Aoba watched his companion stop on the corner of the corridor’s turning point. Blank was frozen in place, staring daunted at the right side. By the time Aoba arrived to place he understood why.

The corridor was filled with a dim red glow and the air was suddenly thick, hard to breathe… he could almost feel the gravity was pulling him forward instead of downwards. The glow was coming through the thin shoji screens that covered the left side of the hall, and he somehow knew it wouldn’t be safe to slide any of those doors open. Reluctantly, he advanced right behind Blank, who seemed to have less nervous steps.

He advanced and started to hear the squelching sounds again, and the source was coming from the glowing screens as well, he tried to pick up the pace as they kept on trying to get through the corridor, feeling as if it was growing longer than it originally appeared to be. The air was getting suffocating. Dark stains were appearing behind the screens, spreading, reeking… he knew exactly what they were… Some of those stains took the shape of hand prints.

There was the blurred murmuring again, but this time he was able to understand every bit of it, as if the voice was whispering just behind his head.

‘… _She endured it because she thought it was for a good cause. I did it because I didn’t want him to hit her anymore. I promised I’d be stronger for mother, and so, no matter how worse it got, I’d endure far better, just as long as I could protect mother… I remember how she told me that it was going to be fine. But I needed to believe in that myself. She clearly didn’t believe in her own words anymore._ ’

It felt like an eternity, but they both managed to get to the end of the corridor. At the following corner they witnessed an even more disturbing side. It was glowing red like before, but this time they watched a big lump made of black crawl sloppily towards the opposite end, until it disappeared to the next corner; it left a dark trail behind, and the brief sound of a woman’s whimpers mixed with the already unbearable pandemonium developing around them.

The voice kept narrating:

‘ _She still loved my father despite everything. He could sometimes be nice just to remind us that we lived out of ‘kindness’ and there was a reward for each moment of misery; the circle repeated endlessly. I never heard her say complain about anything… I couldn’t understand her… but then, I figured out something terrible: that Mother still loved him. The realization of this hit me so hard I thought I’d go insane._ ’

Aoba was now completely certain of who was that, but the reasons why this was happening or how could he hear to all of this remained a mystery. The woman’s whimpering was louder now, and the new corridor’s floor was not only stained with thick dark ooze, but also thin black threads of hair. Why hair?

When they decided to keep moving forward, the thin doors began to rattle violently, almost sending him to the other world out of fright. They were trembling so strongly and they were getting sprinkled in dark stains faster than before. The cries didn’t stop. Aoba felt like he stepped into a new low level of hell.

Blank didn’t walk too far away from Aoba now, once they turned to the next corner, the rattling had calmed down, the red light started to gradually fade all around them, leaving only Aoba’s flashlight left as illumination and a somewhat chilly air blew on their faces. He took a deep uneasy sigh, unable to tell if this would be the end of the creepy behavior in the house, but he held his hopes far too high for his own good.

He contemplated the thought of going back, but right now neither of them could afford doing such a thing. On one side, it was good to have someone like Blank to look after his back, but on the opposite, he knew he was putting his companion in danger with each new step taken. Then he heard the squishing wet noise once more, it was like a thick mop being dragged on the floor. His light couldn’t detect the source of the sound, but he tried to not panic just yet.

They found a regular door, standing out among all the Japanese-style screens they found until  now. He thought it was weird, since this corridor should be the last before returning to the point in which they entered this new side of the house. Besides, the trail of dark fluid went past the door…

He asked Blank if they should open it, but Blank just stepped in front of it and started twisting the doorknob forcefully. It got stuck for just a couple of seconds, but it was finally opened with a little bit of extra strength, making it creak loudly as it was pushed wide open. Didn’t expect Blank to be so blunt about it.

“Hey, at least let me know when you’re going to rush forward like that, okay?”

“… Sorry. I just think I heard the cries of a child.”

“A child? What I’ve been hearing until now is the whimpering of a woman.”

“… I’m sure it was a boy’s voice.”

“Blank, before we keep on going. Haven’t you heard another voice speaking? A man talking about his childhood and his parents?”

“Yes. But it was more like… how much he was upset about his mother. I thought it was only me who heard that. What does it mean?”

So Blank had no idea it was Koujaku. But why did they describe the cries of a child? There was surely a large difference between the voice of a mature woman and a kid…

Without furthering their questions, they went through the door, Aoba’s hands on the pipe tightened as they entered the room with one lit candle on a small wooden table, there were more shoji screens on the background. The long strands of black hair sprawled over the tatami floor were even thicker than he saw in the corridor. He could swear the lines of hair were moving with life of their own, but right now they represented no harm…

Behind the table with the lit candle, the shoji door was half-open, and the wet noises coming from there were even stronger. It smelled somewhat like oxide and metal. Opening the door revealed another small dark room and the current of air killed the tiny flame of the candle, however, he could still observe the room’s walls with the flashlight on his chest.

Something was wrong with the walls and ceiling. Their texture was quite different from the previous room. It was still adorned with screens painted with flowers and dragons, but they somehow didn’t seem to be made of the same material…

“Aoba” his partner called, while their hand was feeling the wall on their right. “I think this is skin.”

He had to frown because of that remark, but when he took a closer look, he noticed the texture was definitely not paper not wood. Skin it was, and it felt soft and cold, it smelled like metal.

Suddenly, the ground beneath them started to rattle again, stronger, just like an earthquake. It made him fall on his backside and Blank knelt beside the skin-paved wall.

‘ _Ryuuhou teased me about it every often as the tattoos that my father requested for me were forced onto my skin. He snarled poisonous words as he skewered my back with needles and ink, even though I endured… even though I endured everything, she’d end up suffering the abuse of my father’s wife and she’d still love him! …What good were her comfort and tears if she’d still lean her head on that man’s shoulder? Why?_ ’

The anger echoed of that voice echoes through the room and he thought he also heard it crack a little. He wasn’t sure he understood. The trembling eventually ceased, but when he tried to get up, his eyes caught something unusual in the room. A large hole had opened in the middle of the room, and he could see its walls extended slippery and red down below, like a fleshy hole. The voice kept talking, and now he could clearly hear coming from there.

‘ _I…I was angry at her, of course. I was allowing them abuse of me because I wished to protect her at all costs, and even so… I was so angry. Ryuuhou knew it all too well and that’s why the tattoos were made that way, that sly bastard knowingly did it in spite of what’d happen after… Still, it was me who didn’t control his anger. It was me. I was so angry…_ ’

Aoba actually hesitated to jump down there, and Blank was taking no hurry on that. They were both hearing the same thing, and Aoba was quietly realizing the direction those words were taking this story. He should have seen it coming, he should have paid more attention to all the hints around him and everything that preceded this instant.

Crouching, he let his light to show him how deep would that hole be, but it was useless. He couldn’t see any depth. Blank picked outside their pocket one of the chopsticks they found and dropped it. He had to admit he took a deep breath of relief after hearing the fall wasn’t going to kill them.

‘ _I blacked out that day, when the tattoo was finished. I blacked out but I wasn’t thinking in how much I hated Ryuuhou or how much I wished to make my father pay; back then, all I could think about was how much mother had angered me. She… when I got back to my senses, it was too late for her. It was too late for so many._ ’

By the time his body slid down the slippery hole alongside Blank, Aoba’s worst fears were finally confirmed. He felt the blood in his chest freezing, the words or lack of them infected his mind with all sorts of images he didn’t wish to have.

This was the source of Koujaku’s hell, and this was the one secret thing he’d never talk to anyone. But he didn’t want to believe it. This was impossible.

He remembered Koujaku’s mother. He could still remember how close she was to his grandma, how kind and happy she always seemed, how loving she was to her son. He remembered her well, because he spent more time with that kind and beautiful lady than he did with his very own mother. That’s why it was so fucking painful to hear all of this.

Of all people in this world, she wasn’t someone who deserved to die, not like that.

It took all of his inner strength to not start crying. Blank was watching, he didn’t want to cry.

But Koujaku needed him now more than ever. What kind of friend— or person— would he be if he abandoned Koujaku this far?

They landed in some sort of basement of place, it was clearly of the same fashion the whole house was built, but signs of corruption and creepiness had extended more, and the environment was even more humid, just like the buildings he saw before entering the house with Blank. The vines of black hair were thicker, growing from the moist ground and taking over the dark walls. They had no option but to keep on walking forward and explore the basement as best as they could.

Aside the sound of squelching, Aoba identified the sound of heavy breathing expanding all over the area, as if they were getting closer to a very important place. It was a very raspy cold gasping, and it was getting increasingly irregular, almost painful. Blank looked back at Aoba, they both knew it wasn’t something to be taken lightly.

They ran, pushing door after door, guiding themselves by the sound of that heavy breathing, and Aoba internally suppressing the idea of what would that mean.

_‘I want to feel there’s a reason to keep on living, I want to know that it’s going to be okay. I want someone to give me that kind of comfort. But now I know it’s not alright to take that from you._ ’

His heart was breaking, he thought tears would end up blinding his eyes completely and his legs would betray him. He didn’t want to hear any more of this. It was simply too painful, too confusing. Blank found a door that refused to open, and without thinking it twice, Aoba kicked it. He kicked it so hard he thought he’d break his leg. He kicked one more time, despair was his fuel. The gasping was coming from behind that rusty hair-wrapped door. Blank barely helped, Aoba wouldn’t let them, as he was doing nothing but violently kick the door until it was broken.

‘ _… Why would you love me? I’m a horrible person. I’m a murderer. I can’t always function like a normal man, as long as I have this burden over me! Aoba… I can’t… I can’t… even though this is what I always dreamed to have, I can’t accept it anymore! This is not right…_

_But… why? I did nothing special. I only did what any person would do. How did I ever come to deserve this? I should know, I love you after all… But please, tell me._ ’

Those weren’t making sense anymore. To whom was Koujaku talking to now? Someone, something was definitely behind that door with his Koujaku. He had nearly broken the door’s lock, calling out Koujaku’s name over and over, but without an answer. Couldn’t his voice reach to his friend?

Finally, he got tired. His right leg was numb and he ran out of breath… yet he was so close! Those gasps coming from the inside were becoming a torment, and the fact that Koujaku had said his name before was driving him mad. Every second that passed without being able to open that door would be another second in which he’d know Koujaku was in grave danger and on the verge of becoming a danger for himself.

Blank took Aoba’s shoulder and gave him a calm look, and then pointed with their white long finger the wrecked doorknob. It seemed loose enough to fall to pieces at any moment, yet what Blank tried to point out was the fact that the creepy ropes of black hair twisting around the door were slithering inside and out, making it impossible to even move to door as it was.

Now that he stopped making a ruckus, he could actually hear collected words coming from behind the door.

“… I know the kind of perverted thoughts you have about me, Koujaku. Did you think I wouldn’t notice? Your helpless old friend was mentally crippled and helpless while you were jacking off at the sight of him. You have done that waaaay too often to be considered normal. You really have no shame. I’m embarrassed by just looking at you.”

Aoba went pale.

What the hell…? Who the hell was that other voice? And what was he saying?

“No! That’s not true! I didn’t— I don’t…”

“I told you already: _it’s fine_.”

Aoba couldn’t move, his hands were shaking, unable to believe what his ears were hearing. Was that… his own voice speaking to Koujaku? Worst of all was what it was saying in that twisted tone he thought he’d never be capable of having ever again.

Couldn’t take it anymore, he had to push the door open while listening to that conversation. The door was so heavy, the hair wrapping it was doing its best to obstruct the way. Blank took out the kitchen knife again and started to cut the creepy black hair as fast as they possibly could. It was an unbearable wait while hearing the shaky voice of Koujaku and the other who was inside with him, sweetly whispering horrendous things he refused to accept.

“So what if you have anger management problems? You don’t strike me as the wife-beater kind of guy, or are you willing to prove me wrong? Would you hurt me if that meant we’d never grow apart?”

“I’d never hurt you! I don’t want that. Not for you.”

“You will, and I can take it. There’s nothing of you that I wouldn’t accept. Isn't that what you wish for?”

“N-no… This is not right. This is not fine! Aoba… please.”

“I’ll never abandon you, understood? _Never_.”

Finally, he kicked so hard it violently flung the door open, the room was a broad space and the feeble luminescence coming from the screens at the end of the room was flickering like fire, stains of light and dark constantly in movement, like the mixing of oil and water. At the center of the room, two figured stood out.

One of them was on his knees, undressed to the waist exposing his back covered with red flowers. The second figure was bent over the first one while holding its arms around his head, almost lovingly… It’s hair was dirty, but also distinguishably long and white. Koujaku was limp beneath the attentions of the other…

“KOUJAKU!”  Aoba called, yet the aforesaid didn’t even flinch. He seemed to have fainted, as the stranger had dropped him on his back carelessly.

 … The stranger’s face lifted upon walking over the unconscious man. He wore simple clothes soaked in dark red, its face and hands were nothing but rotten skin partially peeled away, as if viciously bitten out of place… Aoba knew right away who —what— it was, and his quivering arms rose the steel pipe. The doppelganger had swollen flesh instead of eyes.

It grinned at him. Mockingly. Koujaku’s mouth was smeared with red.

“Y-you, you monster!” He charged against it in blind rage, he swung the long pipe to strike the head of the double. It moved back very fast, barely avoiding the deadly blow, and it did once more when Aoba flourished the large piece of steel one second time.

The double had taken some distance while Aoba recovered breath and Blank approached to Koujaku’s side, attempting to put back on his worn kimono.

 “ _…_ So I am the monster now, huh? You really have no idea of what have you just done, do you?”

“Aoba, the door!” Blank shrieked, pointing at the entrance they went through just seconds ago. The strands of black hair, thicker and thicker, they were rapidly entering the room, like huge snakes. They were all creeping towards Koujaku. Of course, Aoba’s first instinct was to protect the fallen man with his own body.

Yet he was ignored. Wet dark tendrils were coiling around Koujaku’s limbs and dragging him little by little. Blank attempted to help, cutting as much as they could with the kitchen knife, but it was all useless. Aoba tried hitting at the large strings of hair with the pipe, but it was proven to be just as useless. Again, with his hands he tried to rip them off from Koujaku’s body, the poor pale man wasn’t even aware of what was happening, yet he seemed to be in great pain.

He groaned, feeling he’d tear his own fingers due the effort it took him. “Let go—!” But before he could continue, he felt a cold moist hand grab him by the chin, roughly pulling him back.

The double had seized him, and Aoba panicked, trying to get that disgusting hand off his face. He was in disadvantage, he lost balance of his body and the other one was introducing one of those peeled off fingers inside his lips, forcefully. He could not read this abomination’s expression, all he could think of was of the fear it’d probably break apart his jaw. That, and the fact that Koujaku was still being taken away.

The double then started to shush him while fitting four of its fingers inside Aoba’s mouth while forcing his jaw open to not allow him bite the fingers off. He felt sick in the stomach, no matter how hard he kicked or hit or struggle, he could not get away… He felt sick and didn’t know what was going to happen. He felt like passing out. It was too nauseous, too painful and his head was throbbing like crazy.

His sight was blurry, he wanted to throw up…

“… Please don’t do this.” That was Blank’s soft voice. Why was Blank speaking so calmly? Why wasn’t they helping Koujaku?

For a moment, the painful grip forcing his mouth open lessened until leaving him completely free, dropping his powerless body to the ground. The first thing he did after biting his own tongue because of the fall was to stretch out his arm, searching for Koujaku. Looking at the door, he noticed it was closed again, but Koujaku was still getting wreathed by the dreadful hair ropes… Next thing, he looked up at Blank, standing just a few inches away from the monstrous clone of him.

It looked less happy, but he couldn’t tell what kind of face would Blank have right now.

“ _…_ You’re not protecting anyone like this.” The double muttered showing its decaying teeth. It voice showed hints of resent, yet it wasn’t laying a finger on the white-dressed person. “You can’t protect them from themselves when they’re actually the problem. What are you trying to accomplish by doing this?”

He feared for the worse. He didn’t understand, his head was still pounding furiously and couldn’t think properly. Blank was in danger and that’s all he could grasp.

“…Blank, get away from him… Blank…”

“I know what I’m doing. But do you?” That’s all what Blank said, voice so unnaturally monotone and gentle, any trace of fear or anger completely absent. Aoba couldn’t understand. His eyelids felt so heavy…

The bloodied double started to back away slowly, as if the red lights would accept him. Aoba found it impossible to tell when did he vanish at all, his head was boiling. However, he took in perfectly fine the last words it spilled, not knowing to whom were they directed. “ _You have no power._ ”

It took him what felt like several minutes to regain full command over his limbs, Blank  didn’t come for him to help as he thought they would. Instead, when he looked back, he found Blank desperately trying to cut the restraints on Koujaku’s arms and legs, laboring for breath with each thick rope of hair they cut. The knife wasn’t even good for the task, but somehow Blank managed to do it right.

Aoba didn’t know why — might’ve been his sight was still blurry—, but for one second, Blank looked like a completely different person…

Before thinking of questioning his companion, a loud scream made the walls tremble, a most miserable wail pierced through his ears, and he saw Koujaku snap back to consciousness, anguish taking over his expression as he picked himself back to his feet. Didn’t even stop to look at Aoba or Blank, he simply placed his hand on the doorknob.

It was too late to stop him, he opened the door again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you can tell, I've taken more influences on Silent Hills P.T, I also took some liberties with Koujaku's mother?? I think there's something I wanted to explore with her character but I'm sure that I'm not completely succesful at that. I usually have a hard time portraying family abuse.


	15. Be Quiet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to apologize first because I couldn't update last week and this is probably the shortest chapter to date. Last week I had to deal with some really awful family issues and I was unable to write or draw anything, and it was probably for the best... I think I could've taken a longer break, but enough is enough. I don't like to grieve for too long.
> 
> I already feel bad for writing this.

Why or how did he blacked out, it mattered not. Next thing he knew, he woke up to the sound of beastly breaths vibrating above his head, and then, when his eyelids finally snapped opened, he realized that there was a heavy-looking ribcage covered in gray veiny skin moving up and down in the same rhythm the low panting was heard.

Aoba knew that he was on the floor beneath the mercy of the very same canine monster that has been following him around until now. He couldn’t help but to notice that much of its torso seemed mostly human but from the blackened waist and below it was completely like the anatomy of a real dog. He looked up; the room was almost completely covered in root-like tendrils of black threads, walls and ceiling, and it all seemed to palpitate with the blood they were soaked in. It was an horrific scenery of black and red entwined.  

He felt his whole back and legs were wet Aoba tried to move but the creature above him snarled as if expressing its disapproval, he took a more attentive look to the ‘dog’ monster and noticed its twisted jaw tightly seizing a large piece of hair that casually twitched when he lifted his head, as if it detected his presence. By what it seemed, the canine monster had tried to protect him… but what happened to Koujaku? Where was Blank?

His head was throbbing, he couldn’t remember what happened after Koujaku opened the door of the room… Wait, something shiny moved below the monster’s neck. The spiky black collar. He could see the little charm silently hanging from it. A pet tag?

Without fear, his hand reached out to touch the piece of glass. “This… what is this?” It was a small charm, and he knew exactly what it was, though his mind argued against the belief that it could be the same object he once had. “This syringe it’s…” His lips stopped moving, realizing it couldn’t possibly be just a coincidence, his heart was screaming for it to not be just that. “ _Who are you_?”, he muttered breathlessly.

Before even getting to decide the meaning of that syringe charm, the dog monster swiftly moved back while grunting aggressively, making Aoba to pull his hand back in reflex. He realized he was now allowed to get up, and despite the hideous condition of the room, he knew for sure that the beast behind him was willing to protect him as much as possible. The first thing he did with his eventual freedom was to find with his hands the steel pipe… it had to be somewhere… beneath this horrible hair… yeah, there it was. But what good was this dull object against a room wrapped in hair? It was practically useless. If only he had the knife again. Blank was the last person who had it, but he dreaded for whatever happened to his companion.

His light pointed to each corner, Blank wasn’t anywhere on sight, not even a hint of somebody their size beneath the roots of black. Then he turned his eyes to the huge bulge of hair, where the door used to be, filled to the brim with a tangled mess that reminded him of a plate of noodles… except the noodles were black, drenched in disgusting blood and moved like worms. Two figures wrapped in the black endless threads sticking out, his heart sank in distress when he realized they were the hands of a man, moist in crimson and they kept on immersing within the mass of supernatural hair. He knew those were Koujaku’s hands.

Right away, he seized both wrists, but as fast as he did, several thin dark locks fell down from the ceiling and coiled around his own wrists and his head. They felt so icky and cold, acting as if they were little snakes. He didn’t want to let go of Koujaku’s wrists but they were also trying to wrap his whole head and sneak into his ears, nose and mouth; he had no choice…

But before even trying to fight them, he heard another fierce roar from the ‘dog’ and a force larger than himself yanked the hair tentacles away from him. He had no time to thank the beastly ally —if it even cared— for Koujaku was still trapped inside this horrifying cocoon of hair and blood. Aoba spat the substance that was forced in his mouth, cringing at the implications of where did it come from.

After seconds of struggle, he managed to pull his friend out as far as to reveal his blood-drenched sleeping face.

Aoba gritted his teeth and pulled Koujaku roughly enough to give himself time to put his arms around the bigger man’s wider back and then kept on hauling him out of the living-hair. It was hard to accomplish, taking into account that the man in the kimono was heavier than him and the hair wanted him back…

Koujaku’s weight fell on the smaller man and Aoba ended up landing on his own back with a loud red splash. He was pretty sure he was completely soaked in the liquid. He put his arms around his friend and dragged him further away from the gaping slit of the black cocoon, bleeding dark and even more tendrils creeping outside in search for what they’ve lost.

As he predicted, the dog interfered, but its fight against the little tentacles seemed like a fruitless effort; he knew it wouldn’t last for too long. Aoba found himself slightly more worried and confused about that creature, but right now, the one he wanted to save the most was Koujaku.

As he held him close and turned his face up he wasn’t sure if Koujaku was even breathing. He tried whispering his name, slapping his cheek, until he obtained a response, making the older man wince lightly. Koujaku started coughing and spitting, unsurprisingly, hairs of what imprisoned him, much to his friend’s disgust.

Half-conscious, Koujaku pressed his face against Aoba’s chest, his hands tender and desperate clinging to his jacket, and this sudden closeness was making him very uncomfortable, having the man bent between his legs, but he had to keep himself from pushing him away. Koujaku was far from well.

The thought had crossed his mind: where was Koujaku’s mind right now? Last time, he seemed to have confused Aoba with that nightmarish thing that looked like him; then, what if Koujaku couldn’t really tell the difference? Not only that thing disturbed him, but the fact that it whispered so many horrible things to Koujaku in his same voice…

Their bodies were so close, it was sickly warm and he had to hold down the lingering nausea, tried to love his hands to feel the neck of his old friend, his ears, his hair… he could hear it, though muffled by cloth and the outer noise, Koujaku whispering words he couldn’t quite make out.

“… my fault…” Koujaku gasped, locked up in his inner world.

And though his own air was hard to breathe through the dampness, Aoba managed to speak out, interrupting the line of painful words his friend kept enunciating. There was a pain inside his chest, growing heavier and sharper. Gently he took with both hands the jaw of his friend and forced him to look up.

“Please, just snap out of it. It’s _me_. The real _me_.”

“Aoba…?” His voice was tired, awakening, as if slipping out of a dream. His shoulders started shaking not long after. “No… No, you shouldn’t be here!” He felt Koujaku’s force as his hands attempted to push him away, but Aoba didn’t let him, once again surrounding the bloodied body with his arms.

Realizing it was useless, Koujaku stopped struggling, swallowing a small whimper. They were together, but they were both in pain and completely disconnected to each other, horrible secrets to haunt them in the crushing silence between them. The ‘dog’ kept on fighting, but time had stopped for both of them. His legs were tangled in the mess and couldn’t move far with him weakened in his arms even if he wanted to.

“… You must be disgusted by me, right?” The voice of the older man cracked, the hot shaky breath was tickling on his chest. “Even though we used to be best friends… even though you were in such a weak and helpless state… I did— I’m so gross! I could have stopped if I wanted! I could have! Yet…”

“Koujaku, listen to me—“

“I was so weak! So weak that I let myself indulge into my desire, so… I embraced a version of you that could be mine, even if it wasn’t right… But now that I’m awake, I can’t even look at you in the eye, not after you’ve seen that awful part of me exposed. I could bear it if you knew about my feelings for you, but of all things… what happened to my Mother—!”

“That’s enough!” His fingernails dug into Koujaku’s back while holding him close. Aoba was trembling in rage and frustration, painstakingly picking the best words he could. “Stop doing this! I’m so fucking sick of it, Koujaku! I’m sick of seeing you suffering like this even though you were so quiet about it until now. Yes, I’m a pretty disturbed by all of it, but I want to understand you! I really do! …So don’t turn me away now. I’m here for you!”

“I’m a murderer”, he blurted out, it did nothing but to burn Aoba.

“I know! You’ve done something terrible, but it was out of your control! You said so yourself! Look, I’m nobody to forgive you for what happened to your Mother! She was dear to me too but just as much as you have always been to me! I can’t forgive you, because that’s not my job: it’s yours! What are you going to do, Koujaku? Are you still going to let this guilt eat you away completely?”

“What else am I supposed to do?”, the older man cried, tense under the embrace of the other. “There’s no way I can redeem my sins, not even by taking revenge on the man who did this to me. I tried to live with it, Aoba! I’ve tried… I swear I’ve tried!”

He was pulling away, blood-drenched and with an utterly broken expression on his face. This denial only made Aoba feel even more powerless, angrier… he knew perfectly well what would Koujaku choose if he let it go on like this.

“No…!” It was painfully obvious, and he felt trapped, absorbed into Koujaku’s pain. His hands clung tighter to the red fabric of Koujaku’s kimono, harshly pulling him close again, feeling the turmoil within him explode; he was sure his own cries would be deafening and pathetic in any regular situation, which was not. “Don’t you fucking dare! I won’t let you go! Not now when I finally get to see the real you! What kind of person do you think I am? I don’t know what to make out of my feelings for you yet. Shit, I couldn’t feel more confused than I am right now! But there’s one thing I’m pretty sure about: I care way too much for you to let you give up like this…”

The vines of hair were crawling further onto them, tighter; they could feel the rotten life attempting to take them into it. The entire room was pulsating like a beating heart. Aoba heard a long doleful moan come from the source of the abnormal hair, but only he tried to only put his attention to the man he held. Koujaku’s shoulders kept on shivering.

“I can’t do it, Aoba. I can’t.”

Black bloody tendrils started to get attached to his friend’s torso in an attempt to drag him back to its core, and when Aoba looked at the place from where it was coming from, he distinguished something pale and fleshy coming through the abyss of hair. The ‘dog’ was already immobilized by several tentacles and couldn’t do else than growl begrudgingly at the morbid shape moving through the hair.

He felt his heart was going to stop. The figure of flesh carried by hair, also possibly the origin of everything, it was the torn torso of a woman. No legs, no head, only cascades of bloodied hair… It was reaching out with thin pale arms towards the couple of men. The only thing Aoba’s instinct allowed him to do was to keep hugging the other man closer, as if life literally depended on it.

“Bear with me then! I know it’s painful, I know it’s shameful, but I’ll be here with you! Don’t give up, Koujaku. Don’t let this be the end of you… Please. Please. It’s not over yet!”

He was face to face with the female body, he could hear the whimpering closer than ever. In those small seconds, he decided he’d rather to withstand any harm than letting Koujaku get taken away.

He closed his eyes, holding the head of his dearest friend close.

Nothing happened. Instead, a long and sharp wail pierced his ears and couldn’t help to open his eyes once again, a bit of the edge of a knife was sticking out of the chest of the veiny feminine body, a fatal wound.

Nobody else but Blank could have done that. His head registered the facts rapidly: Blank had saved everyone.

Indescribable relief filled him as the tentacles restraining his legs had loosened almost instantly, making him capable of forcing Koujaku up and dragging him as fast as possible away from that terrifying creature.

Koujaku was still tightly secured around his arms, barely willing to stand on his own as to make Aoba’s efforts harder. The garden of hairs was losing its life, as the figure of flesh fell softly on the ground, revealing its murderer standing from behind, wrapped in the black threads unharmed, knife still in hands. By the looks of it, Blank was breathless, on the verge of collapsing.

The ‘dog’ broke free from its restraints, and for Aoba’s surprise, it calmly shook itself out of the hair threads and started to walk away to the door they used to enter the room. It stood there, waiting in silence for them. Despite its fearsome vicious looks, Aoba was now completely certain that it meant no harm to him or anyone, as strange —or maybe not so strange— as it seemed.

Blank was currently regaining breath, patiently trying to undo the knots of the icky hair that covered them like a web and Aoba felt compelled to help out, but right now he was dealing with a very shaken friend in his arms. Koujaku seemed to have calmed down a little, taking in the horrific near-death experience they all had.

“Aoba, we need to leave or more monsters will come soon”, said Blank with a slightly urging tone. The man in red twitched his fingers on Aoba’s jacket as he heard them speak.

“Yeah, I’m on it… Koujaku, will you come with us?”

Slowly, the man in kimono straightened up, still holding on an afflicted face. He seemed to whisper something as he nodded once, but Aoba didn’t catch any of that. It was barely a voice, but he managed to read the man’s lips just fine. “… You clawed at my back too hard”, Koujaku had said. It wasn’t precisely the one thing he expected Koujaku to say… but it was a good reaction nonetheless.

It was too early to smile; he had these new  things he wanted to figure out about Koujaku, while there were also others he’d have rather to never know… they were too much, but as long as Koujaku was safe, he knew he’d be able to go on.

Koujaku looked back at Blank for some seconds, and Blank fidgeted a little, avoiding to stare directly at the man. It was already awkward because everyone was bathed in red. Aoba could feel his own soggy clothes uncomfortably stuck against his skin, and it was even worse by knowing it wasn’t even regular blood for all he cared.

Aoba didn’t notice while he paid attention to Koujaku, but the ‘dog’ was nowhere on sight again. Where did it go now? Well, Aoba knew it’d be better like this; he didn’t want Koujaku to be picking up unnecessary fights.

“Thank you for protecting Aoba.” Koujaku bowed to Blank, who was still trying to get rid of the web of hairs on their once-white sweater.

Blank tilted their head, still avoiding eye contact. “It’s okay, Aoba really wanted to find you…” Blank’s voice was tired. “We should get going, right?” They didn’t even bother to exchange names, they were all aware it wasn’t the appropriate time.

Aoba nodded and took followed his timid companion as he took Koujaku by the sleeve of his ruined kimono… But the man decided to take the wrist of his old friend, capturing his attention, if only for one moment. They were going to leave the room, but Aoba stopped for those short seconds as Blank was just some steps ahead, waiting in silence but always observing.

The red man embraced by long strings of hair lowered his melancholic long face and his lower lip trembled before allowing his to speak.

“Aoba… you were right. It’s not over for me yet. I still have something else to do if it’s not to chase after the man who ruined my life…” Aoba had to tense his mouth, knowing he wouldn’t like to hear what’d come next; the bony hands of his childhood friend attempted to entwine their fingers with his. “I’ve done something horrible to you, I… I know I can’t do much to apologize, but I’ll find a way to make it up to you.”

He blinked, feeling a knot inside his stomach. “… I don’t think it's necessary.”

Something was wrong.

The thing moving over Koujaku’s kimono was moving. A thick nasty sweat slipped over the alien blood coating his face, noticing the unusually large black string creeping around Koujaku’s waist. It was always there, he just didn’t notice before.

Nobody ever noticed before. Not even Koujaku, voice swollen in emotion, fingers gently pulling on his in the same manner they did long when they were just children, such an unfamiliar feeling. Something was wrong

His blood rushed through his veins, but he couldn’t move. He felt scared of something he couldn't describe as Koujaku's eyes were finally locked over his, finally seeing each other clearly. Something about his expression changed. Koujaku was confused.

“Aoba? What happened…? No… Who are—”

It yanked fast, brutally sending the man across the room, and Aoba felt for the last time his hand getting pulled by those long warm fingers. It happened so fast. He didn’t even get to look into the other’s eyes when it happened.

The body of the man in red crashed loudly against the wall, and then a second time up at the ceiling, before tumbling down beside the body of the female monster. Aoba clearly heard a crack in the moment his old friend was smashed against the ceiling; it was a wretched snapping sound he'd never be able to forget. The monster twitched briefly, what lasted as much as a dying breath, it moved closer to the unconscious man...

Aoba’s mind was engorged with violent thoughts, next thing he knew he was doing, he was kicking mercilessly to the creature in the ground. He also punched it several times, screaming, until his knuckles were numb and bruised; Blank was pleading him to stop.

It was dead. The monster had stopped moving long ago.

Koujaku wasn’t moving either. He was lying on the ground facing left while his knees facing to the right, twisted in an awkward posture.

The dark eyes of his friend were half-lidded, but they didn’t respond. He was afraid of touching him, afraid of shaking him. There was queasiness rising up his gullet, but he held it down as his wobbly hands carefully took Koujaku from the back of his neck.

No response.

Nothing.

He couldn’t even feel his breath.

Everything was wrong.

Blank was already beside him, but he wasn’t paying attention to them.

“I said I wasn’t going to let you go” Aoba whispered, the voice inside him was so broken and it hurt. “Koujaku… come on, wake-up. I’m here. I’m right here.”

“Aoba… He—”

“Koujaku, wake-up! Wake-up…!”

His dearest old friend wouldn’t answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: Changed the last bit of Koujaku's dialogue with Aoba.


	16. I Don't Feel Safe Around You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's baaaack~  
> End of hiatus is now. Time to pick up the weekly updates again and this time I'm getting beta'd, because I honestly needed it, I can't believe how many mistakes i make in one single paragraph. Sweet [Raz](http://candycomvampire.tumblr.com/) did a rad job revising this chapter so... here it goes!

“Do you see this part right here? It’s broken.” His eyes were guided by the gentle instructions of Blank, having removed the upper part of the tainted kimono to examine the true extent of the damage to Koujaku’s back. The bone protruding from the middle of his back seemed unnatural, and Aoba’s blood-crusted fingers were twitching from pain and the cold while holding onto the dirtied cloth.

The only consolation was the fact that Koujaku was still alive, but also in great pain. Aoba fell quiet in shock, very carefully turning his friend on his back, afraid of breaking him more than he already was. Blank helped, though at their limit, and insisted on washing away the blood from the wounded man, but Aoba didn’t catch any of their words, as his whole attention lingered on the pained expression on his battered friend’s face.

“I wish I could have said what he needed to hear… if it could have comforted him back there.” Even though Blank stood up to search over the room, they remained close to listen to every shattered murmur from the dirty blue-haired man. “I know… I-I know it’s not my fault, but still, I didn’t do anything to prevent it! I was so useless!”

****

If it wasn’t for Blank, he wouldn’t have gotten the motivation will to help carry Koujaku outside of that basement.

He could would have mourned there forever, could have indulged in the desire to cry his eyes out and sink himself into despair, but Koujaku was still alive, so any selfish mourning was out of question. It started when they had to carry Koujaku together out of that room; the rotten environment gradually started to fade away, the blackness peeling off like old paint, leaving behind a strong scent of sulfur.

He tried to not mind it much, but the appearance of the basement had changed on its totality, as if they were transported into a completely different place. When they left the basement, they discovered they were inside a grocery store from the Eastern District, near the Aoyagi main street… No walls were covered in black or red, the air was fresh, and the fog thick and white, as it used to be, all noise swallowed by uneasy silence.

While Aoba had to bear carrying the weight of Koujaku alongside Blank, who was leading the way through Aoyagi, claiming they knew of a safe place to rest for a while. The apartment building was too far away anyway, so it wasn’t a bad idea. But he briefly noticed something strange on the street, a disproportion of earth levels that wasn’t hard to spot right away.

As if an earthquake had split the street in half, the asphalt had broken apart, leaving a long wide gash that extended two times his size; the fault could be all over Aoyagi as far as cared, and if he didn’t hear about it before then it must’ve happened very recently—hadn’t they felt a strong tremor just some minutes ago? On the other side, there was still the intact tramway that used to get through the whole main street. But that was certainly the least of his concerns.

Aoba stopped paying attention to it. Koujaku was very heavy and they were all soaked in the blood of whatever-the-hell-it-was. He felt like a walking nightmare.

Blank guided him to a small alley, where a couple of vandalized stores faced each other, and there was a door at the end of the short lane, which was opened with a key Blank reached from the top of the door’s overhang.

Once inside, he was guided up to some stairs to an unknown apartment whose walls were painted in old white, and two windows were spreading gray light over the black tiles of the floor; somehow it felt like a surreal painting. It was full of chairs of different sizes and shapes placed at random spots all over the room, plastic bottles and carboys of all sizes were piled at the sides of most chairs, most of them filled with clear water. He knew that the people from the refuge had much more than these to sustain their needs for some time, but he wondered why Blank would keep all of these things, assuming they lived in this place.

The first thing they did was to put the unconscious man over the longest of the couches, and due his own stress, Aoba was more than overwhelmed to know of Koujaku’s condition. Reality started to sink into him like a knife, his fingers taut over the bruised face of his fallen friend, a hero no more. It felt so long since he last looked up at this man painted in muddy red rust, figuratively speaking.

With Blank’s help, they used water from the bottled containers and pieces of cloth found in the apartment to wash Koujaku from waist to head, being extremely careful with how they held the unconscious body.

Aoba heard the man groan lightly as they poured water over the bruised body, but none of these ministrations managed to wake him up. After cleaning up the blood from Koujaku’s face and neck, he observed the dark spots around his neck and jawline, small bite marks from teeth that could have been from an actual person, and there was even some blood of his own seeping from a mark on his lip. The sight of it simply made Aoba even more sick than already possible. If Blank wasn’t there, he’d have broken down crying. His own limbs were sore and cold, and it was becoming harder and harder to stop himself from feeling faint despite Blank’s comfort.

Unconsciously, he lowered his head and brushed against Koujaku’s chest. His hands wouldn’t stop shaking. Physically and mentally, he was utterly drained, and Blank’s hands over his suddenly felt so warm and big. For an overpowering anguish, any solace appeared to be just as great. He wanted to fall asleep with that alleviation over his shoulders.

Any attempt to escape distress seemed like such a nice idea.

He took a look at Blank’s hands. They were severely bruised as well, and their right wrist had an awful bite mark that made their skin a dark purple, presumably from the ‘dog’.

“…Blank. I know that this must be hectic for you, but… thank you for being with me.” Aoba said in a quiet voice.

“It’s fine. I know that you’re going to keep your promise.” Just by the sound of it, their voice was just as tired, but not any less intimate because of that. “With or without me, you promise me that you’ll get into Platinum Jail and save my brother. You have to promise me that.”

“I promise…”

“You’re so weary… You need to sleep, okay?”

“… No, I’m fine.”

Unaware of how muddled his own mind was, he tried to move his knees and stand in order to find something to clean himself with, but his legs felt about as strong as jelly and he fell. Sloppily, he crawled towards the closest chair, little by little forgetting how dirty and heavy his hair felt, the inconveniences of his own mucky skin and clothes stopped mattering when his cheek felt the cool of the floor’s tiles.

It was preposterous. He couldn’t be as tired as to pass out all of sudden, he wasn’t even drugged or anything…

He wasn’t thinking about Clear or Mink or Beni-Shigure or his grandma. He was too emotionally exhausted to think because of Koujaku, so that new dark heaviness was strangely welcomed to his overwhelmed mind.

****

There was a sound outside the building, noise of screeching steel dancing like cold wind. It was crawling outside the walls and grazing the windows, gently, like a fearsome machine trying to glide over rust and stone. The noise it caused in his ears made Aoba flinch from his spot and he opened his eyes to realize the skin of his hands had been cleaned, and so had his face and hair. He was also lying on the cushions of one of the chairs from the big room.

He turned his head from one side to another, but only Koujaku was there, a thick brown towel placed over his broken body; most of the blood had been washed away from his sickly pale face, but his expression was still locked in pain. It was disheartening to remember that it wasn’t a dream, the weight of the recent events returned to seize his heart once again.

However, the towel on the taller man’s body looked very downy and warm, Aoba took in mind the amount of consideration Blank put into both of them. But where did they go? And how long had he been unconscious? An hour? A day? He couldn’t tell, the light from the outside as gray as he last remembered.

The room had one door aside from the entrance, probably a bathroom, and it was locked. Aoba went to knock the door, but the sound coming from outside the building was getting louder, closer. “Blank?” There were no answers from behind the door. The noise only increased and became more obvious to him now.

Warily, he went downstairs to the main door, just taking a glass bottle with one hand in case it came to having to defend himself again. As he turned the doorknob with a faint creak, he became fully certain of what the source of the noise was: the car from the railway. He closed the door behind him and walked out of the alley towards the main street of Aoyagi, his confused eyes looking at the direction from where the loud echo of ruined steel came from.

The giant darkened form of the vehicle was coming through the fog, showing its broken windows, peeled paint and the lights completely removed from its front. It was a strange event, because for all he knew, electricity was completely cut out from the whole island. The ghastly sight of the moving tram seemed almost unreal, like something taken out straight from an old suspense movie.

However, as it came closer to the streets breach, he distinguished it right away, the shape of one person inside the vehicle.

No, they were two, both leaning against the shattered windows nonchalantly. The abrupt emotion and sheer relief burst out of him as he started running after the rusty tram, begging to nobody that this wasn’t an illusion.

“Virus? Trip?” he cried, his voice was still incredibly dry, and it really hurt his throat to speak out, aside the fact he was walking on a fast pace to keep up with the noisy tram.

The shortest of the pair moved its messy blond head to the window facing Aoba, and by the looks of it, Virus looked less battered than before. Not the same could be said of Trip, if he didn’t look worse than last time, as a little less than half of his face was heavily bandaged and he still wore that thick collar.

The blonde yakuza with glasses waved his good arm lightly. “Ahh… It’s nice to see you’re alright, Aoba-san. It seems like you’ve caught us in a tricky situation.”

“Forget about that! What are you guys doing in there? You need to jump out of that tram!” Aoba continued to walk by the side of the huge crack on the pavement, his genuine dread furthered as the breach was to wide and deep for anyone to jump over it.

“No, I’m afraid that won’t do… See, we actually took this tram because we want to go to where these rails are taking us.” Virus shook his shoulders with a calm expression.

Trip leaned closer to the window, somehow his smile was brighter than Aoba last remembered, despite the visible injuries. “Besides, it’s all sorts of convenient that we got it to work”, Trip continued, impossibly composed. “So, off we go.”

“To where?”

“Unfortunately, the North District. This railway just happens to end at the edge of that place, isn’t that correct, Trip?”

“Yeah.”

His heart started panicking. He was sure Virus and Trip understood the dangers of that place better than he did. His pace increased, trying not to step too close to the broken ground. “Are you insane? You’ll get yourselves killed!”

“The possibility is there, yes. But we wouldn’t go unless we were thoroughly prepared, would we?”

“Why do you need to go there anyways?!” Aoba’s voice became increasingly aggressive. There was a knot in his stomach and all he could do was to watch that tram advance, and Virus waved again, completely untroubled.

“That won’t do, Aoba-san. You see, I’m not allowed to tell you much, but we have a pending business awaiting for us in that place. As much as your company would please us, I don’t know how helpful you would be to our cause the way you are now.”

“What do you mean? Then just wait! I can come with you later!”

Even through the fog, he could clearly see Virus’s fair face, and, for a moment, while he was practically sprinting, he heard something else besides the motion of the tram and his own footsteps. It didn’t stop him in his tracks, but the soft noise reminded him of a raspy painful breath…

Virus opened his mouth and talked to him with a newly found seriousness. He didn’t remember seeing his friend ever having such an expression on his face. “You seem rather desperate. Did something bad happen to you? Do you really have the time to be with us? Don’t you have something else to do?”

It was futile. He knew he didn’t need to watch their backs. He didn’t have what it took to be on their level. And Virus was right. There was no time for him to escape into something other than seeing Koujaku back to safety and health.

“You’d better stop running; chances are that we’ll get to meet again. We know for a fact that you’re hard to kill, Aoba-san.”

“Do you keep track of how many do you kill though, Aoba?” Trip added, smirking despite the bandages concealing half of his face. That was uncalled for.

“I don’t think he’d need to anyways, Trip.” The bespectacled man replied sternly to his partner before he looked back down to Aoba once more. “Until next time then.”

“Bye-bye, Aoba!”

And… they left. His legs ceased trying to keep up and he stopped to draw back breath until he couldn’t hear the noise from the tram any longer. “God damnit… I’ll never understand those two.” The thought of it froze his chest, the fact that this could be the last time he’d see them alive.

It was frustrating. He was scared shitless of everything, and he was tired, and felt hopeless about his inability to protect anyone he cared for.

The unknown feeble gasps were gone too, and he couldn’t identify where they come from. Maybe they were all inside his head, a creepy manner in which his mind had grown accustomed to the eerie atmosphere of the transformed island.

When he returned to the alley where Blank’s hidden home was, he wondered if they would be willing to help him carry Koujaku all the way back to the refuge. Besides, everyone would be extremely worried for them, not to mention he was about to bring back the leader of Beni-Shigure with his spine broken…

He tried to keep his head cool as he carefully opened the door and went upstairs to the room. There was a strange smell floating in the air, it wasn’t unpleasant, but he wasn’t sure if he liked what it meant. This wasn’t the first time he smelled that scent.

“… Blank? Are you still here?” But when he arrived to the top, a tall broad figure was sitting on a chair at Koujaku’s side. Golden eyes. His suspicions were immediately confirmed as he identified the man with the smoking pipe, his long brown dreadlocks hanging loose over the shoulders of his gray ragged jacket. Aoba certainly didn’t give room to fear or doubt. “Where’s Blank? What did you do to them?” were the first things he asked as he cautiously approached, setting the bottle he had been carrying on one of the cushioned chairs.

Mink simply rose one of his tired eyebrows as he blew a cloud of smoke out of his mouth. “… Is that how you call them? ‘Blank’?” His low voice sounded even more fatigued than his appearance was, however, it maintained an extremely neutral tone in it. “That Ghost is no longer here, and I don’t know when they will return…”

“What the fuck did you do to them?” Aoba calmly asked despite his aggressive words.

“I didn’t do anything. I just came in here”, the large man answered, and then leaned his head towards the unconscious body of Koujaku. “Your friend’s back is broken, why haven’t you gone out to search for help? Then again, you shouldn’t have moved him on your own. Who knows if his injury has worsened because of that.”

He sure didn’t intend to make him feel any less better about Koujaku. He was aware of that fact, but still, he couldn’t leave him out there in that hellish basement.

“I know, I know! It’s none of your business what was I doing outside, but I’ll get to it when you explain to me why you’re here and why Blank is gone?” Aoba had advanced just close enough to feel the smoke blow against his face. It was annoying him along Mink’s refusal to look back at him directly. “And fucking stop smoking, I’m talking to you!… First of all, you acted weird when you were at the refuge, and it’s all so confusing. There’s a lot of stuff that I still can’t recall and I can’t stop thinking about the way Koujaku confronted you. What was he even talking about?”

Attacking with so many questions at once and his feelings going out of control, he wouldn’t blame the bigger man for scoffing at him, but he didn’t.

“He was not aware of the incident that took place after we first met, I am fully certain of that.” Mink expressed with a severe look on his eyes, and Aoba knew exactly what he was talking about, yet that circumstance seemed like such a distant nightmare now, Aoba himself wasn’t sure if he was willing to recall that at all. “But he was obviously accusing me of something he couldn’t have known… unless _that thing_ had something to do with it.”

_That thing?_

“Do you mean…?” It took him a second to understand. Mink had mentioned earlier that he was being followed by something, and he was obviously in constant danger because of it, and he wasn’t the only one affected by it. “… Koujaku has been tormented by someone who looked like me. I don’t think…that he couldn’t tell him apart from me—”

“—Even though he looked like his skin was falling apart?”

“Y-yeah! You’ve seen him too, right? Wait, you didn’t confuse him with me, have you?”

“No.”

“Do you know what is it?”

“No. But I have an idea of how does he work.” His avoided contact as he placed the pipe back to his lips and exhaled a cloud of smoke with his eyes lightly closed. “… What do you recall from Platinum Jail? Do you remember who accompanied you when you got there?… I need to know, so speak up.”

Aoba tensed up and frowned at the man. He was indeed somewhat different from the man he first met, but not any less scary because of that.

“Yeah. I was with Noiz before I got captured inside Oval Tower.” He responded, lowering his head. The larger man arched one eyebrow slightly.

“He’s the one who told you that, wasn’t he? You don’t actually remember entering Platinum Jail with him.”

He didn’t want to think about Noiz’s issue, but since the ex-leader of Scratch guessed right, there was no point on backing out from this interrogation. “… Where are you going with this?”

“Answer my question.”

“No, I don’t. I can only tell for sure that I went in there and then entered Oval Tower.” Aoba tried to keep his arms still. He was growing flustered thinking about Noiz. “But… I feel that I have used the power of Scrap again. I think… I used Scrap on Noiz. At least, that’s what I feel. I… really didn’t know until I found Noiz trapped in the North District.”

“Hmm, so you’re taking your guesses of what happened through feelings, not facts.”

Aoba scowled. “And what do you know?”

“You didn’t even try to stop and question what the brat told you for one second, did you?”

“What are you trying to tell me? That maybe Noiz made up those things and my mind simply played along without me knowing?” He stared at the man sitting in front of him, and somehow, he looked older because of his troubled expression.

“I don’t doubt that he’s confident that everything he ‘remembers’ actually happened. As for how long it’s been since he started ‘remembering’, I can’t tell for sure.”

“How do I know that _you’re_ not making up stuff?”

“I wouldn’t have brought this to you if it wasn’t for one reason only.” His voice had reached a lower pitch, and it seemed colder than before. “I have also ‘remembered’ going inside Platinum Jail with you. I remember it clearly. And you used your power on me as well.”

“What?” It stung, for less than one second a tiny sharp pain that felt like a needle piercing through his neck, and just lasted for one second he felt like he couldn’t breathe. “You’re ridiculous! You’re just fucking with me…”

“I never said that any of it had to be true though.” Mink murmured; he noticed how his fingers tightened around the smoking pipe as he talked. “It would seem that my mind has been tampered; a lot of chunks of what I recall of the past ten months are hazy without explanation. I have no reason to lie to you about this.”

The agitation inside of Aoba was growing stronger. “… Wait, what do you mean—?”

“My own memories are followed by great inconsistencies and gaps that can’t be filled coherently. I remember entering Oval Tower with you… but if that was the case, then it wouldn’t make sense that I’m still alive or even sane. I quickly figured out that these memories are false because I took my time to analyze these facts. And I have reasons to believe that Red was also affected by fake memories as well, if only to a minor degree.” the older man explained as he nodded to the man lying on the couch.

“I-I see…” Koujaku was tricked into attacking Mink, that much was evident, but Aoba wasn’t sure what his old friend would remember. He wasn’t sure if he needed to know what Koujaku thought he knew. The young man straightened up and looked the older right in the eye. “Then, if that’s the case, what really happened? Everyone has been so vague about it, and I can’t stand it anymore. And since you’ve been feeling pretty talkative as of late, would you mind filling me in?”

“Until there’s proof to confirm my suspicions, it might be true that you have entered Platinum Jail along the Maniac since he was also trapped in there…” He briefly took the smoking pipe into his lips again and let out a small cloud. “There’s something odd about my chronology. We saved the Maniac from Oval Tower two months before we retrieved you.” The man frowned, as if having trouble with his own words. “So, this fog started about a month and a half ago. It was around that time when we brought you back to your grandmother… It’s been almost three weeks since my team and theirs split in half… and before that, you were under my watch.”

“I know about that… Exactly why were you doing that?”

Mink sighed wearily, looking down for a moment. This is the kind of attitude that forebode something bad, and, uneasily, Aoba would listen to what the man had to say.

“When we brought you back, you had constant panic attacks whenever you weren’t sleeping or in catatonic state. All I did was to medicate you in order to keep you stable, even if just for some hours, and that was under the supervision of your grandmother.” As he heard that, Aoba felt something frail and black crawl inside his head, along faint images of that room he visited when they investigated the old headquarters of Scratch. Mink scrutinized the expression of the young man with his eyes. “You really don’t remember anything of those episodes?”

“No… It’s been a little over a week since I became lucid. But they said that you wanted to use me for your own purposes even back then.”

Mink frowned, but he didn’t really seem angry… rather sad, actually. “As I told you before: they weren’t lying.” Aoba’s stomach felt sick, and hearing the man didn’t make it any better. “I did attempt to manipulate you unto doing my biding while your mind was weak, and I didn’t succeed. It was a mistake.”

“… What did you do to me?” Aoba murmured, glancing bitterly to the man, his fists stiffening unconsciously.

“… I won’t blame you for thinking like that, but I’m not going to waste time convincing you otherwise,” he grunted, not avoiding eye-contact for one second. “It was around that time, I presume, when I started having those memories and losing others in return.”

“… So, do you think it was me? Do you think I used Scrap on you and Noiz?”

“If you did, there’s a chance that you used it on yourself as well. Very convenient for someone like you, I must say.” In one swift motion, Mink pushed himself up from the chair; Aoba actually forgot how intimidating their size difference was, and he stepped back in caution. “And of how you lost the power of your voice, I can’t say what it means, but I’m ready to assume the worst about you.”

“Assume the worst about me? You have some nerve to tell me that when I’m the one who should be judging _you_ for the shitty things you’ve done to me!” Aoba snarled at the man, but confrontation was avoided, as Mink turned his back from the smaller man, walking towards Koujaku. “Hey! Don’t leave me talking to the chair!”

Without a response, Mink observed Koujaku closer in silence, taking the consideration of not blowing smoke to the unconscious man’s face. Aoba didn’t say anything else, knowing that what Mink said on the beginning of their conversation was true: moving Koujaku after he got injured was a terrible decision. For all he knew, his dear friend could be in a worse state than ever before.

And besides that, he still didn’t know where was Blank or if they’d be back soon. Aoba admitted he didn’t feel particularly concerned about their well-being, knowing for a fact that they knew how to survive on their own… but it was making him upset to acknowledge he wasn’t all that worried for Blank. It simply didn’t have an explanation.

Mink finished checking on the wounded man and walked past the blue-haired one, saying: “I’m going back to see the old lady and ask for help to move him. You’ll wait here, if I can trust you to do just that. I’ll decide later if it’s safe to be around you or not.”

This wasn’t a game of trust. Mink sure had his own reasons to say something like that, and it wasn’t like Aoba was going to ask him to be his friend either.

“Yeah, me too.” He replied, an unusually icy tone blooming from his throat as the taller man took one final look behind him before leaving.

He could tell.

Mink was terrified.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fyi, don't even try to move someone if you think they broke a bone or something, because that can seriously mess them up. I hope it was clear enough for you that what Aoba and Blank did was possibly beyond stupid even if they felt like they needed to do it. And I was worried about making up the railway on aoyagi street because i haven't played the game for a while, but i checked it on last minute and it turns out that i was right all along! there was actually a tram there! hahahaha!


	17. To Where Love Doesn't Reach

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. I really wanted to do this as weekly as possible, but shit happens. And get your hopes high because this is probably the most 'romantic' chapter I've written so far. Look at all those hints!

Mink didn’t stay to watch, Clear was the first man who stormed into the place to find him and Koujaku. Clear was fine, and by the sound of his voice, on the verge of tears.

Much to Aoba’s surprise, it didn’t pass over four hours since he went to chase after Koujaku and Mink. By the time members of Beni-Shigure came to retrieve him and their leader, the heartbreak reflected on their faces kept them deeply quiet all the way back to the refuge. The face his grandma made once they brought him to her… he’d never seen her so visibly upset before.

Of course, she had the help of her friends to check the extent of the wounds of Koujaku, and for once, Aoba wasn’t spared from the details.

Koujaku had suffered a spinal injury and a concussion on the right side of his head… he tried to explain how did the wounds happened, but didn’t matter anymore. By the looks of it, Koujaku was incredibly lucky to be alive, and he would be ‘fine’ if he was given a proper treatment, that is, if they could first leave the Midorijima. And even if they managed to do that soon, Koujaku would still be paralyzed from his waist down. It got him thinking: what would Koujaku’s reaction be on this? No doubt he’d try to bear it with a fake smile, but, inside, he’d be dead, Aoba predicted. _No_. From now and on he wouldn’t know Koujaku’s mind anymore. The amount of inner demons inhabitating that man were a burden Aoba couldn't take away.

Hours passed by, Clear didn’t remain by Aoba’s side after they arrived to the refuge. He even asked around if anyone has seen the guy, but nobody could give him an answer. Mink’s whereabouts were also unknown. Did he leave?

He spent the time following his grandma like a shadow until she told him that it was fine for him to sit outside the improvised infirmary, given that they couldn’t carry Koujaku upstairs; he’d be left in repose until they were ready to move all the residents to the South District and then the beach. The decision has been made by the group’s majority this morning, before the horrendous incident.

Aoba was told by his grandma that the group from the South had salvaged a couple of ships from the bay, ready to set sail from Midorijima soon. In light of all that, Aoba knew there was probably some hope left in people’s hearts, even if there was no full guarantee that this plan would work; after all, he knew that anyone who had tried to leave the island had failed or died.

Hope had never felt so worthless.

His mind couldn't decide if he just wanted to escape this place or if he wanted to go on with his plan of going back to Platinum Jail; but he didn't like either of these options. The most promising option should seem obvious to anyone, but Aoba had so much to lose one way or another. He just knew.

Mizuki had been sitting beside him for a while, and, if he had said anything, Aoba didn’t listen. Suddenly, Aoba let out a shaky sigh while feeling the weight of the world on his back, entwining his own fingers while not looking up to his burgundy-haired friend.

“… I could have saved him, I had the chance… but I fucked up. I fucked up so bad…” the young man’s lips shivered and his face felt hot and moist all of sudden. “Mizuki, I don’t know what to do anymore.” That was a plea, he realized. But there was only silence that followed. It went on and on, until it became painful. “Why are you so quiet? Say something, damn you!”

“… What do you want me to say? That everything will turn out okay?” The other man answered, confirming to Aoba that he was still sitting at his side. There was spite rising from his cracked voice. “That’s not how’s it going to be. Our best chance is to leave Midorijima as soon as we can and get Koujaku to a hospital. Not just him, but all of us will need serious psychological help after this, you know.”

The tattooed man was right, Aoba knew that some survivors still bore scars that had happened during Toue’s takeover and haven’t even recovered. Mizuki was one of them. Mizuki would never fully recover from what he experienced. It only made Aoba feel even more guilty for what he was about to do tomorrow.

“Mizuki, I can’t leave the island yet.” Aoba murmured, eyes still on his hands resting on his knees.

“Yeah, I’ve heard about your little plan” the other replied, frowning painfully at the blue-haired. “I simply don’t understand what you want to do at Platinum Jail. There’s nothing waiting for you in there. I don’t even care if Toue or fucking Morphine is still in there. The best thing you can do is leave them behind you and continue with your life.”

“Is that what you’re gonna do?” the younger man questioned.

“That’s the only thing I want to do! Some revenge ain’t worth it, and I failed to learn that lesson many times already. I’m tired, Aoba! If this goes on, I don’t know what might I end up doing to myself! I don’t know what will happen to _you_ , of all people!” That was the limit of his friend, otherwise he’d end up spilling his tears. He remained quiet for some seconds until his respiration calmed down. “I’m _afraid_ , and Tae-san doesn’t feel safe with you running straight into the depths of this hellhole. We don’t want to lose our Aoba for good. _We want him back_ , do you understand?”

He could empathize with Mizuki’s feelings, and he wouldn’t blame the guy for calling him out on making poor decisions. But something felt strange about his last sentence. Mizuki was looking away with his knuckles tense over his thighs, and Aoba figured his friend would still be upset over what happened before…

“Oi… I’m sorry for pushing you back then. I know that you wanted to avoid a fight, and I was an ass to you anyways.” His words somehow made the tan man loosen up a little, his green eyes shyly looked back at Aoba, but they concealed any sort of feeling aside from grief. “Mizuki, I… I don’t expect you to understand, but there’s someone in Platinum Jail that I need to save. I made a promise, and this is something I don’t want to run away from.”

“And you want to do that on your own?”

Aoba inhaled nervously, feeling an aching shiver slip down the back of his neck as he obtained the strength to say what he truly felt. “… I don’t know. I’m afraid of seeing someone else end up just like Koujaku. But… I’m so scared to be alone. I’m so afraid of what I’m supposed to find in there and I don’t know if I will be able to make it out alive…” His own hands were unsteady as he voiced his thoughts; his fingers rubbed his own face in distress. “I suppose it’s normal, isn’t it?”

“Of course it’s normal.”

He didn’t know why he expected a shoulder pat from Mizuki. The ex-leader of Dry Juice just got up from his chair and walked into Koujaku’s room, leaving Aoba on his own. It wasn’t that he felt hurt for not receiving what he thought he’d get, not at all. Maybe this was a good thing.

It was a good thing if Mizuki learned to stop pretending that he wasn’t resentful towards him for what had happened with Scrap. It had to be that.

After Mizuki was done checking on Koujaku, Aoba went in to see his unconscious friend again. The stretcher he was in would keep his body in place and would ease his transportation to the beach. They’d be moving him in a small car, he heard. It was easy to imagine the group of Beni-Shigure carrying their fallen leader like a delicate idol… he really shouldn’t be trying to find that picture funny at all.

Koujaku was completely clean, but also heavily patched, a white bandage wrapped his forehead because they had to stitch a wound on his left side. It burned Aoba’s stomach, to think he couldn’t have noticed that injury on his own, and he felt thankful for the nurse, Hana, who did an excellent mending on the man.

He never noticed it before, but the room was also used to keep the Allmates of everyone in safety, since all of them already depleted their energy. There were so many of them, the smallest ones were piled on a long shelf at the bottom of the room, the bigger ones, like Bonji-kun were laid on the floor. Actually, Aoba recognized many of them right away. The tiny red bird, that was Koujaku’s Allmate, Beni; and there were some cube-shaped with bunny faces, those were from Noiz. He was actually surprised to see the extravagant pink cockatoo Allmate among them —who’d have taken it from Mink if it wasn’t with the gang of Scratch?

However, as he predicted, Ren wasn’t among them. The only dog Allmate was a small yellow bulldog lying on the floor. He somehow didn’t feel very comfortable looking at all the Allmates, vaguely wondering if all of them still had owners or would be brought along when they were ready to move from the building, given they could be considered like some sort of extra-baggage.

There was a knocking on the door, forceful and loud, but it swiftly opened the door without aggression. When Aoba identified the dull face of Noiz, he felt actually surprised. The lad walked in wearing simple black clothes and seemingly could walk with less trouble than before.

The blue-haired man said nothing as he tried placing his unhelpful attention unto his battered old friend.

“So… is he really crippled?” Noiz asked nonchalantly, his hand touching the lifeless body of the little bird Allmate, his words causing Aoba to scoff at him. He couldn’t tell if he was trying to be mocking or not. Noiz left the red bird alone, placing it closer to the bunny-cubes that used to be his own. “Sorry about that. I mean, he was important for you and old lady Tae.”

“Noiz, _not now_ , please.” Aoba muttered.

The young blond boy walked around the room a little longer without saying a word, casually leaning near Koujaku, observing his face quietly. For one second, Aoba flinched as Noiz grazed with his bandaged fingers the broken nose of Koujaku. It was a strangely gentle gesture, considering that he remembered they used to be on each others necks when they first met. Right then though, Noiz’s eyes were dull and his face had drained of color.

“… I heard that Mink was the one who found you. Didn’t he tell you anything about CP?” he asked, not turning his gaze from the sleeping man.

“He knows nothing about Captive Princess… Sorry.”

There was a sigh if discontent. “Of course not, the jackass won’t give away anything if you only ask once.” Noiz frowned and he turned around abruptly and tried to walk away. Aoba was going to stop him, but before reaching out for the youth’s arm, Noiz slipped on the floor, falling on his bottom as he clung to the sheets of the injured man’s bed.

It really caused Aoba to get nervous as he came to aid the boy, knowing that he couldn’t have healed from his legs yet. Noiz was visibly upset about that and, hesitantly, accepted the blue-haired man’s support to get back up… Then again, when they had to touch, Aoba couldn’t help feeling deeply sick again, not only at the thought of what happened between them earlier, but also because of what Mink told him about their memories.

Noiz’s grip on Aoba’s arms loosened, for one instant their eyes met in awkward silence. “What? You’re not going to kiss me again, are you?” the blond boy whispered, moving away from Aoba. They stopped looking to each other’s eyes the moment those words came out.

Aoba didn’t speak, didn’t know what to respond to the youngster without hurting him more than he already was. Noiz simply pointed with his index finger to the unconscious man on the bed.

“This old fart, you liked him, didn’t you?” Noiz asked, his voice was surprisingly calm, but still made Aoba swallow his spit before gathering the courage to answer. Noiz deserved some of that after all.

“No. I… I really don’t know anymore.” the blue-haired man said dryly, softly scratching the back of his neck. “Koujaku has done some stuff that I hate, and he’s hurt me a lot without thinking. I somehow wanted to do the same to him, and it didn’t go well. But I guess that I didn’t see how much he was hurting himself until it was too late. We were just a couple of stupid adults, unintentionally shitting on each other for really selfish reasons. I don’t know what will happen to my friendship with him if I can help him through rehabilitation. I don’t know if I want to try to love him back the way he does for me. I just don’t know yet.”

The bright green eyes of the lad lowered as he heard what Aoba had to say. “… I almost forgot you guys were friends since you were kids. That’s cheesy as fuck… I wonder what that’s like.” He smirked weakly, as if he made himself laugh with a lame joke. “So, what are you gonna do now?”

Aoba raised one eyebrow. “Ah?”

“Are you still going to enter Platinum Jail again?”

“… Yes.” He felt reluctant to bring it up, but ended up telling him anyway.

“I’ll go with you.” Noiz said without a second thought.

“No. You’re not healed yet, besides I don’t want you to get into more danger.”

The youngster knitted his small eyebrows together. “You’re going to need me there with you because, unlike you, I remember a lot of things from that place.”

“I believe you. I do. But right now, I can’t make myself responsible for you. I don’t want you close to me, Noiz—”

“What the fuck is your problem?” he snarled, clearly more distressed then spiteful, and it took Aoba by surprise when he grabbed his wrist tightly. “I thought we got over that. I thought it’d be fine as long as we didn’t touch the subject, but this is plain rejection! Am I such a nuisance to you?”

“No! You’re not a nuisance!” Aoba tried to keep his voice down, not as hard as keeping his feelings of guilt under control. “It’s simply not good for you to be close to me anymore! I’ve hurt you enough already. I don’t need you doing more things for me, alright?” The grip around his wrist only tightened, forcing Aoba to yank his own arm. “Let me go!”

The blond man grimaced and quickly released Aoba’s wrist. “I don’t care if you hurt me… I need to make up for what I did to you, if that’s the last thing I get to do.”

“… You did nothing wrong!” he murmured, overcome by thoughts of guilt. His steps started to take him back to the room’s door, seeing the heartbroken boy with a confused look on his face. “Noiz… I’m sorry.”

Noiz was going to talk back, but, unexpectedly, stayed quiet as dismay took over his messy face. Aoba left before anything else should come up. He never meant Mink’s words to affect his judgment like this; he felt ashamed of believing in them with such little effort.

Those accursed words and theories! Aoba bit down his lower lip in anger, walking up the building’s shadowed steps. He wasn’t just overwhelmed by Koujaku and Mizuki, but Mink’s words were screwing with his mind, and it managed to worsen his guilt-driven relationship with Noiz. He just wanted to see his grandma and get the day over with.

It was dark outside already, and the patrolling Ribsters were taking their turns. He thought he heard someone shout, but they kept on repeating that ‘it was nothing serious’. Aoba vaguely wondered if he’d be able to see the ‘dog’ at the playground if he looked from the balcony of the fifth floor… though the fog and darkness would make it improbable.

His feet felt sore and tired as he reached the final floor, and he noticed the door from Koujaku’s apartment was half-open. Was… someone in there with his granny?

“There’s something I need to ask you first. What is exactly what you’re trying to do? You and I know very well there’s not a chance that Toue’s still alive. You’re not going in there just to confirm that.” That was his grandma speaking, he held his breath as he stood outside of the door without making his presence known.

“… I may have found a way to save your grandson.” That was Mink’s voice, no doubt. But what the hell was he even talking about?

“I see. Yet, I’m surprised you managed to figure him out after being apart for all this time.” Tae sighed, bitterness present in her tone. “I admit I couldn’t tell right away despite keeping a close eye on him. But why would you do this?”

A pause. It lasted enough to make Aoba feel the blood inside his veins freeze as he slowly stepped away from the door, unable to stop himself from hearing the man with his grandma.

“… Because last time, I failed.”

****

Dreams were a terrible thing to have in a devastated place like this. He had horrible dreams earlier, and he didn’t doubt more of them were yet to come. However, they weren’t an excuse to deprive himself of sleep.

There was a small candle lit at the other side of the room, and he kept on staring at it until he started to feel sleepy. Beside his stinky mattress, he had a bag full of different items he thought should be useful tomorrow, but he held in his arms a steel crowbar.

He didn’t say goodnight to his grandma, he didn’t even look at her in the eye after he waited for her to be alone again. He didn’t want to see her or think about what he heard. For some hours, he just wanted to be void of all troublesome thoughts. He wanted it to be over.

For some time, he indulged himself in darkness, his body was relaxed and he was able to lose his awareness of his surroundings. Aoba wasn’t completely sure if he dreamed anything, or if it was just his mind reminding him of the journal he didn’t finish reading yet. Yes, Takatsuki’s bloody journal; he did forget about it, even though Clear encouraged him to inspect it… He should really do that.

As he pictured the tattered notebook in his head, he felt a very soft quiet breath caress his cheek, waking him gently. Somehow, he was still drowsy, but his unfocused eyes identified the whiteness of a gentle face.

“Blank? How… did you get in here?” he asked thinly, too tired to think at all.

The pale mouth of the visitor moved slowly, their weak voice barely touched the young man’s ears: “… Next time we meet, I’ll be in Platinum Jail, Aoba. I’m currently on my way there…”

“…  _Currently_?” he repeated mindlessly staring into the small black eyes.

“From here and now your path will be even more difficult, but please don’t worry about me. You have everything you need to enter Oval Tower.”

“Oval Tower…” He repeated.

“You’ll know what to do once you’re there… I don’t have much time left, please, promise me that you’ll be strong. Promise me that you won’t hesitate to do what you must.”

His eyelids fell weary before even watching Blank leave. He probably dreamed of this, but he had no reason to question the truth of those words. It simply felt like it was the right thing to do.

It wasn’t morning yet, but he wasn’t tired anymore. The candle’s wax had nearly melted to the end, though the little flame didn’t seem to be dying. He realized that the crowbar he was holding left a painful mark on his neck for resting on its rusty steel.

For some time, he felt disoriented, but when he placed his feet back on the floor, his mind clicked at the afterthought of the dirty notebook. Last time, he carelessly left it beneath his mattress, and it was still right there. He never usually hid anything below his mattress, as it’s always been the first place his grandmother would search for anything when he was a teenager, but it didn’t matter anymore.

His fingers tracked through the smelly pages, guiding himself with the dim light of the candle, bright enough to let him tell apart the blood stains from the ink. He found the last entry he read after identifying the moth doodle at the sheet’s foot.

[…]  _Father’s health is not good… … … still won’t talk to Mother, I hope they can stop acting like children, it’s ridiculous._

The following entries narrated with detail how has it been her life as she lived with other survivors, her father and her boyfriend, but he hardly found any of that useful. Entries usually had one week of difference, she rarely seemed to write from one day to another. She liked taking notes on basic maintenance tips and what her boyfriend liked to do… it was kind of annoying. He casually stopped at one page, because he detected the name ‘Seragaki’ several times written on it.

_XX / XX / 20XX_

_Father died yesterday. We couldn’t give him a proper burial, I don’t know what to do… … … The group of Scratch brought back one boy, probably from Toue’s research laboratory, as far as I’m aware. He seemed like an outsider, and there’s also this old Lady named Seragaki, who came with the boy. Lady Seragaki seemed to be a friend of Father, and I’m grateful and surprised for her regards. But just as I thought, she might be the same as… … … Seragaki … also helped a lot of people during … … … … don’t trust her. Why would they bring someone… … … … … don't understand._

That last part was strange, it had a huge black gash covering everything else. It was conveniently omitting a very important part about his grandma, and it pissed him off so much. He turned the page to the following entry, a bit dirtier than the last, and he had to squint to make out some of the sentences.

_XX / XX / 20XX_

_It took me hours to explain to that man that I wasn’t involved in… … … I might’ve been wrong about Seragaki, us researchers didn’t always have a choice when it came to Toue, that vile man. I know what needs to be done. I don’t care that Mother doesn’t approve, this is one chance … … … … Hibari-kun clearly doesn’t want me to do this, even so, he promised he’d be at my side. I wish he’d change his mind. I’m not … … … he deserves to marry … … … Scratch has their own different motives. I think they want to… … …  I won’t make any more questions to the leader if that keeps them happy… … … men to help us infiltrate… … … … it’s not to take Toue down, that’s impossible. We merely need to enter the research facility south Oval Tower… … … what if I’m not ready for this? I just hope these don’t turn out to be my last written words._

So, Takatsuki had something important to do after all? Maybe he should try to interrogate Mink about this later.

That was the last ‘normal’ entry there was. The following pages had a rougher handling and each one had an increasingly careless hand-writing. Surprisingly, they were less stained than the previous ones.

_XX / XX / 20XX_

_Writing on this journal is the only thing keeping me sane right now. We made it into Platinum Jail, then proceeded to infiltrate to Oval Tower, after Mink’s signal. We were doing just fine until they noticed my ID was expired. Then we were seized by the guards. This fuck-up is mine. I was too optimistic, too stupid. If only I decided to listen to what Seragaki said maybe the situation wouldn’t be so dire. All the other men did their best to give us time to escape. Man after man gave up their freedom to spare us from this. Now there’s only me, Sawano and Hibari-kun left. I don’t know if the others will be made into test subjects or executed right away. I thought we were doing the right thing and we were prepared. I thought it was the right thing to do. If Hibari-kun here gets caught tomorrow or the day after, it’ll be my fault… … … …_

_… … … Killed a man… gun should be useful one of these days… … escape. Platinum Jail is hell … …_

The entries stopped having dates. They stopped having moths doodled on the top. It was almost as if Takatsuki stopped caring. He read again those words with his lips moving: “… Killed a man…”

What did she do? What did she know?

However, the dead light of the morning came back. The candle’s flame died out just in time, as he heard the creaking of the floor’s wood, signs that somebody was walking through the apartment; that’d be his grandma, no doubt. She didn’t even knock at the guest room’s door to check on him. She simply left. Maybe that was for the best.

He wasn’t ready to go yet, but even though he spoke about this with his grandma, there’s no way he’d let her accompany him to Platinum Jail, and not only because he feared of something bad happening to her.

As he picked up the bag he prepared last night, he took a peek at his window once more, expecting to see someone out there.

There was a shadow standing across the street, but for some reason he felt disquieted that it wasn’t white. The figure was tall and it wasn’t white. It wasn’t white. It didn’t have black eyes. It didn’t look kind.

It was just a tall man, hiding in the mist. The man was brown and didn’t look kind. The man had piercing golden eyes.

… Why did Aoba expect a white figure across the street?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, you know what I did with this chapter's title, and no, I swear it didn't come from a Final Fantasy song because it doesn't match with the story's atmosphere at all.  
> Anyways, what's done it's done. At least I finally told you where were all the allmates because I totally forgot about them.


	18. It Was A Nice Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahaha, hello. I guess I did end up changing the fanfic's name after all. I'm such a piece of trash :/
> 
> I'm so sorry for taking such a long time again. Things have been getting complicated with my schedule and my health (but I'm ok now), so I'm posting this chapter now and in a couple of days later I'm posting the next one with some illustrations to make up for the time.  
> Once again, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to take such a long time to post the new chapters :(  
> I want to thank my sweet beta again, for being so patient with my shit (because i'm probably too pushy for my own good).

He had to close Takatsuki’s notebook, stuffing it inside his supplies bag along with a small medical kit, a water bottle, a rope, a flashlight, his crowbar and a survival knife. Aoba sprinted towards the apartment’s entrance. His granny was probably on the first floor, and this was the perfect time to leave before any more inconveniences were to rise.

Clear appeared on the balcony of the fourth floor when Aoba was coming down; right away the masked man suggested that they should escape through one of the windows from the second floor, mentioning he secured it for that purpose. They wasted no time to take their leave as they walked into the foggy streets quietly through the eerie gray morning; when Aoba looked behind, he heard no sounds coming from the building, knowing that getting out turned out to be much easier than he thought. Mizuki would’ve tried to stop them, any member of Beni-Shigure would’ve tried to stop them… but Aoba and Clear met no difficulties on their getaway.

Internally, Aoba felt guilty for leaving without saying good-bye to his grandma, without even explaining his decision to leave without her. There was also Noiz, who’d be understandably resentful after yesterday’s argument. Aoba didn’t want to think about his regrets now, because he wanted to live after this.

They walked a long way before finding their desired route, Aoba had the chance of guiding Clear, who occasionally asked him for directions.

Understandably, Clear seemed very nervous as they headed to the wrecked street of Aoyagi. They started to pick up their pace as small grunts and inhuman moans started to come after them. Those filthy aberrations of gray skin were anything but fast, but they liked to appear from the most unlikely places, reeking with their breaths every place they invaded.

Clear gasped when he almost ran into one while he walked in front of the blue-haired man. With the crowbar in hand, Aoba was ready to jump in to defend the masked guy, but promptly stopped himself as he watched Clear push the faceless gray creature out of his way with great ease, sending it flying across the street with a shriek. It didn’t die, but Clear had never intended to kill it.

At the end of Aoyagi, there was the rusty fence restricted the way to the North District. Of course, there was an entrance with rails for what would have been the alternate route for the tram. The gloomy sight of the abandoned buildings still sent chills down Aoba’s spine, thinking about the nightmares still hiding within those walls and floors. Clear said that they needed to surround the District in order to find their way into Platinum Jail. If that was the case, then they’d need to pass through the island’s landfill, which was arguably scarier than the North District.

Not only that, but it was around that place where he remembered they took his Granny when she was kidnapped by Morphine months ago. It was located near the forested area of Midorijima and he wasn’t sure if it’d be safe to go this way, but he guessed it wouldn’t be as dangerous as the underground path he used on the first time he went into Platinum Jail…

It was truly a curious thing, the fact that he could remember what way he took months ago but couldn’t recall who else was walking there beside him.

“Can I ask you something, Clear?” Aoba looked at the bruised gasmask, as they walked beside a mountain of metal scraps from the dumping site.

“Yes?” said the white-haired man with an attentive voice.

“… Do you remember if I entered Platinum Jail with you?” he questioned, helplessly sounding unsure of his words. “I mean, do you remember if ten months ago we went together into that place before I got caught inside Oval Tower?”

“Aoba-san…” The life in Clear’s pitch dropped almost instantly, revealing a tremulous scared sound. Clear was cowering between his shoulders, holding his hands together. “I don’t… N-no, of course not! You’ve got it all wrong! W-why would you ask that? How could you know―?”

They stopped their tracks immediately. Aoba had no idea that he pressed one button he shouldn’t have, and he felt scared all of sudden. That reaction, that frightened voice… perhaps Noiz and Mink were not the only ones?

He tried to reach out to his shoulder in hopes of calming him down, but Clear flinched, as if touching was painful for him. Aoba drew back, looking at the gasmask apologetically.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you’d get upset. I shouldn’t have asked.”

Clear’s shoulders lowered as the tension began to slowly leave them. “… I-it’s alright. You don’t remember anything so it’s natural that you keep on wondering about what happened. I wish I could tell you, but… I can’t. I promised someone that I wouldn’t.” That affirmation only made Aoba frown in discomfort, the fact that Clear openly refused to give away that information felt like a punch in the face. Besides, who was this person whom Clear made that promise? “But there’s something else I’d like to tell you, if that’s alright. But please, don’t be frightened if you find it weird or scary.”

The heat of his disappointment lessened slightly as Aoba detected the sweet little insecurity living in the masked man’s voice. He shrugged and allowed Clear to continue.

“I… I started to get some sleep in the past few days, but something unusual happened to me. A lot of familiar images passed in front of me while I wasn’t conscious… and they kept on showing me events that have never happened but somehow, after waking, it feels as if I actually lived through them.”

Aoba had to tilt his head in uncertainty. “… So maybe you’re talking me about a dream?”

“Dream… ? So _that’s_ what a dream is.” Clear lowered his head and wiggled his gloved hands inside his coat’s pockets quietly after saying those words, just making his companion feel more confused if not concerned.

“Clear, are you okay?”

The windows of the gas mask looked back at the blue-haired man, his shoulders still shrunk in shyness. “… I was thinking, Aoba-san: Would something bad happen if I showed you my face right now?”

“Huh?” For one second, Aoba gaped at his companion, unable to think straight. This was actually the first time they touched the subject of the mask, and somehow… it was making Aoba anxious.

“Ah, never mind.” Clear shook his head, putting his white hands on the mask as if to keep it still. “I guess this is a bad time to talk about it.”

“No, no, no, wait! What makes you think that this is bad?”

“It’s about this… _dream_ , Aoba-san. It was a… nice dream. At least it was nice in the beginning.” The masked man’s voice sounded so pained and timid, it barely resembled all the first impressions Clear ever gave on the beginning. But for one second, the tone held a cheerful note. “I dreamed that I showed you my face, and you didn’t freak out about it, even though I was so terrified.”

Aoba calmly looked into the windows of the mask. “Is there something wrong with your face?” he asked softly.

“My grandfather gave me this mask to conceal my face from others. I always thought that it was because my face wasn’t normal, that people would hate me because of it.”

He needed to think of his words carefully. Obviously, Clear was sensitive about his face, and something definitely felt wrong about his ‘dream’ if that was the source of all his dread.

“If you don’t want to take it off, it’s fine, Clear,” he said, walking close to the white-haired man. “I don’t want you to feel more uneasy because of anything… so, you’re free to decide whether you want to keep that mask or not. Although, I’m sure that no matter how does your face look, I’d never hate you for something like that.”

“R-really?” Clear cried weakly, momentarily losing the gloomy air in his persona. “You said something like that in my dream too…”

Before they could get any more sentimental, they both heard the several of the sloppy footsteps approaching over the cold grounds of the landfill. They needed to hurry towards the forest area, right into the unwelcoming sight of the mist-covered trees. They made Aoba hesitate for one second, but he could hear the breathless grunts coming closer after them.

He followed Clear’s lead, trying his best to ignore the shadows brought by the gloomy trees, impossibly quiet as they passed among them. Any crusty sound from the tree’s branches or movement of the leaves could be a sign that they were in danger, and if Aoba allowed his eyes to wander off the way just a little, he could let his own mind deceive him into believing that deformed figures were moving beyond the trees and bushes. It wasn’t too far-fetched to think that, because throughout his long walk with Clear, he felt like being observed from afar. It was chilling sentiment and he couldn’t help but to hold the crowbar in his hands even tighter, seeing Clear sprinting a little faster than he was.

They stopped at the sight of a great sinister white wall stretching upwards, trenched by electric fences that used to keep intruders in line in case they should attempt to get closer to the vast place that was once known as Platinum Jail. Aoba always knew the walls surrounding Platinum Jail were huge… but seeing them with all this fog made them seem impossibly endless; it was bad enough that they couldn’t look at the walls from afar, it almost felt like they materialized right there.

Of course, the walls and the trench alone weren’t the ones making it an impenetrable area; security checkpoints were installed at every turn at the wall’s borders, they were supposed to be there to let visitors in and such; it was known that they were heavily monitored by heavily weaponized guards… However, Aoba knew it was weird to find one the forested area. There was a small parking lot with a couple of vans stationed in front of a large garage door and there was an small entrance at the right, open wide.

“This is weird. Yesterday when I checked here, it was closed.” Clear whispered under the mask, passing by the untouched van.   Aoba looked for the flashlight in his bag, knowing that it’d be needed once they were in. “The security in this spot was very light, so we were able to escape out of Platinum Jail this way.”

“… When was the last time you sneaked into Platinum Jail?” Aoba asked, trying to be as casual as possible.

“It was… when we entered in to save Noiz-san.” Clear responded, but it made the other man frown at the oddity of that information. “I remember Mink-san with Scratch arranged this spot to be used when we got out.”

“Oh.” So that that meant that Tae wasn’t the only one who knew of this place.

They looked into the door, which seemed forced open, and it was as dark as predicted, reeking of oil and burnt hair, a smell he was oddly familiar with. Aoba turned on the flashlight he clipped on his jacket’s pocket, walking in with the same uncertainty for the unknown he’s been feeling for the past few days.

The garage was still had one van inside, but one of its doors was open and there was a body tainted in black with their arms hanging out of the car’s seat. The garage smelled like gasoline, as if it was poured all over the floor. He also looked at the walls, he saw several power switches turned up and down, some of their handles had bloodied prints on them, but he tried to ignore them right away.

At the end of the garage there were two doors, one of them torn down while the other locked; but despite intending to be as quiet as possible, their steps made loud echoes all over the large place. Chances were that this place was full of abhorrent creatures, and Aoba feared for Clear’s safety, because unlike him, Clear wasn’t carrying any weapon.

And it wasn’t just that what was making Aoba sick of worry; trying to make sense of Clear’s words only made his head hurt, feeling a ghostly pain claw at the insides of his mind. He learned to relate that feeling to his own realization that he was missing something, that there was a gap that needed to be filled. If only Clear could just tell him the whole truth…

The door led to a smaller hallway, it wasn’t nearly as dirty and cold as the garage, but the smell of gasoline became stronger in there, and he thought he’d end up getting sick if he inhaled the air for too long. Clear started to take longer steps, detecting puddles all over the floor.

“Aoba-san, watch out over where you step” Clear warned, walking close to the gray walls of the hallway. There was a turning point that led both left and right, but Clear already knew where to go. They completely left the doors they found on their way unopened, as nothing of interest should be waiting inside of the rooms beyond them. One of them, Aoba noticed, had its typical ‘Authorized Personnel Only’ sign on it, and it seemed to have an ID scanner with a numeric keypad… but the door was half-open, and, if the light didn’t fool him, he swore he saw red fingerprints on the door’s edge.

Clear pressed Aoba to keep up the pace, nervous as ever. It was understandable that he wanted to rush them out of here as soon as possible.

There was a low moaning kind of sound coming from far behind, chilling him to the bone. Clear didn’t stop right away after hearing it.

“Something may be coming this way, let’s hurry.” said Clear turning to another hallway to the left, led them up to some stairs. The echoes of their steps grew louder while walking on the stairs, each floor they ascended the darker the walls became. He didn’t miss seeing the lights playing with the shadows of each wall, which seemed to be growing dirtier the further they progressed.

The smell of gasoline now resembled something like burnt plastic and rotten meat. Aoba definitely didn’t miss that scent. When they arrived the third floor, Clear went through a rusty door, hesitantly opening it to a very dark tight corridor, its walls of iron blackened and suffocating, as if a boiler was heating the place from underneath. Clear assured that this way should take them to the interior of Platinum Jail.

Another moan, this time more bestial, sounded from behind, and it was suddenly obvious that it was getting closer. Aoba’s first instinct was to put Clear behind him as he tightened his painful grip on the crowbar he held.

“Just as you thought, there might be someone following us―” Aoba breathed, but as soon as his words ended, a louder racket trembled through the walls and the floor, a heavy weight falling violently behind him, where Clear was standing. With his heart almost beating out of his chest, he realized that an iron door fell between him and Clear, separating them. “Clear! Are you okay?”

“I’m okay, but I think I’m trapped! A second door closed just behind me!” the high-pitched voice of the young man resonated through the door.

He heard some sort of struggle coming from the other side of the steel door, and Aoba attempted to help by placing his crowbar’s curved end under the door, but it only proved to be useless as he used his own weight to lift it. Clear on the other side of the door was groaning, as if he attempted to force his way out, but no matter how strong he was, Aoba knew that his friend wouldn’t be able to make it.

“Clear, listen to me! Just stay where you are and I’ll be right back to you as soon as I can! There were some energy switches down at the garage. Let me see if I can make them work to open these doors.”

That was a sane idea, if it wasn’t for the fact that he just heard a monster coming from downstairs, he could have hurried right away. Aoba was ready to fight, but it didn’t change the fact that he was completely terrified.

“Be careful, Aoba-san…” the captive friend spoke through the cold steel. Aoba took that as the push he needed to seize the doubts. Clear counted on him, he could be his hero now.

No, he couldn’t be a hero. Doing something right wouldn’t magically redeem him from his past mistakes. With this in mind, Aoba seized the fear of going downstairs, ready to swing the piece of steel that was hurting his palms from griping it too hard. Somehow, the insides of the building seemed murkier, blacker… the scent of gas and burning hair became so intense it was irritating his nostrils.

The sloppy noise that crawled over the steps was the only warning he got for the closeness of the deformed creature, a deathly chill traveled through his body when a gray bony hand almost grabbed his ankle. The naked monster shrieked through the gored hole that was its mouth before Aoba thrashed at the featureless head until it stopped twitching. His blood was running hot inside his veins as he stepped past the lifeless body. Great, now these things slithered on the ground like lizards.

He was sure he was now at the first floor, but the hallways looked so unfamiliar. They used to be only dark, but now they wore a more ruined aspect, as if years have passed since they were abandoned. The odor of gasoline persisted in the air, he thought he’d end up damaging his lungs if he kept on breathing this unpleasant air, so he placed the cloth of his shirt’s collar over his nose. But, unfortunately, it barely did anything to keep the intense smell from reaching his nostrils.

As he attempted to remember the way back, he wasn't surprised at finding out that the door that should have led to the garage was now locked. He kicked it and even pummeled the door with his crowbar, yet it all proved to be fruitless. His growing frustration caused him to turn away and search for other means to free Clear. He checked out a couple more of open doors but he didn’t find anything useful in them.

Then he ran into the mysterious door from before, the texture of it seemed more damaged than what he last recalled and it was still half-open. Though aiming the light to its inside, a sense of foreboding stroke him when he looked back again at the bright yellow sign of ‘Authorized Personnel Only’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Besides this update, I've been doing some 'cleaning up' on the first chapters, correcting grammar and whatnot, although I'm making sure that all the plot-relevant details remain where they should be.


	19. Cries And Whispers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fast-update! I want to thank again to my beta Raz for being awesome, generally tolerating my pushy self. I hope you enjoy it!

Next thing Aoba knew, he was going down to a basement and he started to explore the dreaded insides of new, and unknown corridors. He found five different doors, but all of them were sealed with an electronic scanner, and wouldn’t open unless he had an ID and a code, assuming there was still some energy left in them for doing that. Aoba had to cover his mouth and nose with his jacket’s arm, feeling as if the toxic air just got thicker and stronger. He was starting to feel sick in the stomach.

He could hear his own steps splattering on thin layers of liquid coating the floor, but after he found a sixth door unlocked, another pair of feet started to make their own splashing noises behind him.

With his heart on his throat, he pushed the new door open and entered, closing it right away. Aoba had to hold his breath for some seconds, as he heard the steps getting closer to the door… he waited. It finally walked away, much to his surprise. But his dread was far from gone. The new corridor he entered was probably more claustrophobic, dirty, and intimidating than the previous one. And the air, though having a much less concentrated smell of gasoline, felt hot, as if he just entered a boiler chamber.

The smell was less noticeable, but it was still there. He just couldn’t tell if something was burning right then. Very slowly, he walked into the longer corridor, the line of new doors seemed older, somewhat rusted, and each had one small window to look inside. He didn’t like any of this. There couldn’t be less than forty doors.

He opened one door, heavy and corroded, and the inside of the room was a small space with one toilet, a sink and large brown stain in the middle of the small room's floor. Aoba felt his heart shrink at the realization of what this room was. He has seen places like this in movies and video games before, so he felt very sure that this was a cell, and the corridor was a cell block. An ironically fit for a place called ‘Platinum Jail’, he thought.

As he kept on finding more of the doors unlocked, his uneasiness started to build up. The stench was getting stronger again, and the echo between walls of steel was resounding like a storm taking place inside the basement… he knew that Clear must be scared out of his wits, and Aoba wasn’t making any progress on finding out a way to help…

It was pointless to keep searching inside the cell blocks, they were empty and uninteresting… He guessed he had no choice but to face what was following him on the previous hallway.

Before turning his back, he heard  _them_.

It assaulted his ears, such a high pitched shrills, he yelped and jolted, freezing for some seconds, as the terrible cries continued at the end of the ward.

The screams were unmistakably from very young voices, and he couldn’t comprehend anything of what they were trying to say.

But there was an universal understanding of how a human voice sounds like when they’re in great distress and pain. He couldn’t understand the words, but he knew those were crying children.

There was agony and fear pouring out of more than three different voices ay least, and their sobbing, their pleading, the repetition of the terror-filled screaming, it was all something undecipherable for Aoba, yet at the same time, so crystal-clear.

But what language was that? What were those cries? Why?

He swallowed, unable to resist any more seconds of that tortuous shrieking. It came from a cell almost at the end of the ward, and without any second thought, he kicked it open.

The cries ceased all at once.

The room wasn’t empty. The scent of sulfur almost made him gag, but that wasn’t all. Chains were hanging from the ceiling, constricting a body made of burnt meat and bone. It reeked of burnt hair and blood. He coughed violently as he looked away from it.

And before he finally thought it couldn’t get any creepier than this, from the corner of his eye, he saw something move.

Quickly, he moved his flashlight to the opposite end of the corridor, if his eyes didn’t lie to him, he watched a figure clothed in white run to the other hallway. It may have been just his stress playing tricks on his mind, but the figure he just saw had their head covered in bright red. The brevity of that figure he saw sent chills on his back and shoulders, because in his heart he knew the size of that figure could only belong to a young child.

If the last thing he wanted was to deal with children, ghost children were surely the worst conceivable thing he’d ever consider. Yet, the direction the child-like figure took was the only way … He knew he needed to go back.

Instead of walking, he started sprinting, ready to swing his crowbar to any direction should he need to. As he ran, he began to notice something that shook him to the core. The interior of those corridors was transforming more and more. It was getting tainted with rust and black, chains of steel have appeared in places they weren’t before. Not only that, but the place was getting increasingly warmer. Uncomfortably hot, like a sauna, but the smell was terrible. Whether the sweat sticking to his clothes was from his own stress or the sudden heat, he couldn’t tell.

When he ran to the next corner, his light touched another grotesque body hanging from the corridor’s ceiling, and out of pure reflex, he hit it with the crowbar, just hard enough to make it fall. It twitched and groaned, its human-like fingers grabbed his shoulder, but Aoba quickly struggled his way out. He remembered it. It was one of those climber-monsters. It still had that hideous mutilated head and the emptied insides shown from its open bottom. He felt like puking just from looking at it. He drove the edge of the crowbar to the creature’s chest, pulled it out and ran away, not willing to prove if it was still alive or not.

The heat was giving him a headache, he felt like he was exhausting his energy too fast, and he needed at least to find a place to catch some breath. He didn’t even remember the doors from the basement’s first corridor were all locked, Aoba just ran to the unexplored corridors, feeling his throat getting dry for hyperventilating. He could feel _them_ coming after him.

His light was moving too much, he feared of tripping because it was so dark. But he noticed something weird standing out. An open door, and the familiar face of a man was standing out in the dark, his bright eyes looking at him as one arm stretched out towards him, urging him to enter the door.

He heard Mink shout something at him before taking his hand, he didn’t understand it as he was completely overwhelmed by fear and persecution. The mighty force of Mink’s arm yanked him easily inside, and he fell clumsily to the floor, hearing the powerful slamming of the door followed by shrieks and scratches coming from the outside.

Aoba was crouched in fours, recovering his breath while heavy steps surrounded him. This would actually be the first time he’s ever felt relieved to see those big black boots stepping close to him.

“So you’ve come here after all.” The deep voice of the taller man muttered, when Aoba looked up at him, the first thing he noticed was that Mink was as well covered in sweat, looking anything but calm. “Where’s the other guy?”

Gasping for air, Aoba sat on the floor, his legs momentarily too feeble to carry his weight. “Clear? I had to leave him behind because he’s trapped upstairs, but I’m trying to find a way to free him.” He detected Mink’s own flashlight, but he didn’t seem to be carrying any kind of weapon on his hands either.

The taller man sighed, scowling to him in disbelief. “… You should have gone to look for the power switches in the first place.”

“That’s what I did!” Aoba snapped back. “But the door was locked, so I came down here to find something that I could use! I’m sorry if I don’t know shit about this place, okay?” Mink just kept quiet as they stared into each other, making Aoba sick in the stomach as he felt the scent of burnt wood and hair when close to the other man. “… Please tell me that you know another way to get to the garage.”

Mink crossed his arms. “Do you expect me to know?”

Well, considering the fact that sometimes any area could randomly transform completely into a nightmarish underworld, it was probably too soon to assume Mink would know a way out. There was a wordless story of how or why Mink ended up down here, the man had a tired expression on his face if not sick, and, of course, the lack of light would conceal it with ease, but Aoba detected it fast enough at first glimpse. Aoba knew this would be the third time he himself has ever entered the dark world.

The room they were currently in looked like an ordinary office, but the walls felt uncomfortably warm, and the vents were oozing something black and thick that reeked like death and gasoline. Not to mention that outside the room, many monsters would be awaiting for them, if the inhuman grunting outside the door was any indication.

Another thing Aoba noticed was that the office had another door leading to a room on the side. They went that way, another different office, the floor was flooded with black slime, still overflowing from the vents… And the source of the dreadful smell was still unknown, yet always so close.

They managed to get through a different door to the basement’s main hallway, Aoba was actually a bit surprised when the taller man fended away the long-limbed monster with apparent ease, making enough time to let them through. Aoba noticed some walls were gone, replaced by curtains of steel chains.

He stopped for a second, he could see through the gaps between the chains, and with his flashlight he detected a twitching movement, meat beaten and burnt, just like the thing he found inside the cell block before. Now it seemed like it was alive and tied to a bed. The sight of it made his stomach turn. He’d feel less disturbed if it made any sort of noise, but it didn’t, it was just quietly convulsing on that bed.

“What is going on here?” Aoba asked, aware that Mink had stopped behind him as well.

“… This place used to be one of Toue’s many obscure research facilities. Studies and tests on the human mind were made right here.” Mink’s deep voice claimed, robbed of emotion. The words spoken were more than enough.

Again, he started to hear the screaming. They were coming from the door they just left behind. Children. The violent shrieks now accompanied with thunderous pounding against the door, screaming words and names he couldn’t understand.

“What’s with all the screaming?” he murmured, his voice unsteady as he backed away from the banging and cries. Where they ghosts? What did they want? “Mink… do you know if children were put in this place too?”

The man didn’t answer right away, his face untouched by the light and it was hard to tell what expression he had. He turned to the opposite direction, shaking his head. “Keep walking, and pay no attention to it.”

Aoba was concerned for the lack of reaction from the other man. The blue-haired male did as he said and followed his steps while cowering with the crowbar close to his heart. They found some stairs, but they were covered in chains, which undoubtedly would make their way up much harder than expected.

Without much discussion, they stepped on them, more than once slipping on the steel chains, and the icing of the cake was the fact that the screams would return just momentarily just to fade right away. Aoba wasn’t impressed over the fact that the other man was doing his best to ignore them, because there was no way anyone could remain completely cool over something like this… besides, it was getting hot like an oven, he was finding it more difficult to breathe, counting the fact that the air stunk with all that gasoline.

They made it out of the stairs and they stepped on a completely changed corridor, however, Aoba knew that they were back to the place that should take them to the garage. But whether the garage was still the same place or not, there was no guarantee that turning on the switches could set Clear free.

The large man stopped froze in place for one second and Aoba almost stumbled against his back.

“Mink…?”

The confusion of his sudden behavior gave him no time to react. The man’s strong hand took him by the arm and forcefully dragged him across the corridor until Mink opened another door, throwing the young man inside what it seemed to be some sort of small closet. His back collided against the wall, it hurt, but the moment he looked at Mink hurrying inside the closet and signaling him to keep quiet was all Aoba needed to know that something bad was out on the corridor.

There was a moment of silence between the two, each others flashlights illuminating their faces as they waited, damped ~~in~~ with sweat, almost holding their breaths until Mink could tell if it was safe to go out. Aoba couldn’t tell who between them was scared the most, ignorance and knowledge could be equally terrifying at this point.

Many steps and groans could be heard from outside, Aoba’s guess was that they could be a large amount of monsters reunited at the closet’s door. He remembered Mizuki saying that it was extremely dangerous when they were gathered in groups, and probably Mink was aware of this fact as well.

The wait seemed endless. They couldn’t talk to each other, and Aoba was growing nervous, nearly started to cough because of the foul scent of burnt hair and wood that seemingly came from everywhere.

There was another round of screeching, but even though they made his skin crawl, this time they didn’t sound human. There were also the noises of tearing, munching, breaking… it stopped too soon, sooner than it started. All that was left was deathly silence. But it was too early to open the door.

A tiny frail sound was caressing the door’s surface, a tiny tip of a nail gently dragging itself against the steel, just barely gazing it as a form of taunting them with fear.

Deep within his mind, Aoba realized that this was precisely the thing Mink tried to hide from. He could tell by the tense face he put, the tightly contained fear.

“Each man is responsible of nurturing their own grief, right? You should know a lot about that by now.” Aoba’s blood froze, knowing perfectly well that he didn’t say those words, yet somehow, Aoba’s voice was talking from the other side of the door.

It was _him_. His other self.

The taller man closed his eyes, as if trying to contain his terror, yet it was still there. But Aoba wasn’t one to criticize: he was fucking terrified as well.

“It’s way easier to let a man destroy himself out of despair and insanity; it’s almost hilarious. You don’t need my help there, but I’d really appreciate it if you’d stop dragging me into your lame self-loathing circle for a change. I’ve got stuff to do _._ I seriously can’t stop by just to indulge every loser’s need for penance over shit that doesn’t actually involve me.”

His hands were trembling in fear and hatred by only hearing that familiar voice, but something didn’t sit right about what it was saying.

There was a sudden thump against the door, it made both men wince in surprise… even now, the fast throbbing of his heart was so loud he could hear it inside his head, even louder than the new words muttered from the other side.

“You think you can _save_ him, don’t you? I know you can hear me. I know you are in there… How does it feel? The fact that you failed to save him after he gloriously failed to save you? Why can’t you come out and talk to me? Do you want me to drag you out by force, you sneaky little shit?”

He went quiet after the threat. Mink was tense, holding the door closed as strong as possible. Aoba, however, couldn’t stop scrutinizing the older man’s face, trying to understand the meaning of those words.

A minute almost passed away, nothing was happening.

Did he finally leave? It couldn’t be.

Aoba sighed nervously, accidentally loud on the action, but Mink was continuously tense, and the more time passed between them, the more uncomfortable was this closeness in such a reduced place. They couldn’t stay here forever.

Catching the older man’s attention, Aoba lifted his crowbar and with his eyes indicated Mink to open the door. It was a stupid plan, they probably agreed on that without saying a word, but it was better than staying here without doing anything.

Quickly, Mink nearly pushed open the door and the first thing Aoba did was to swing the long piece of steel on his hands, blindly lunging at anything that should be standing on his way.

But nobody was there. Aoba panicked when the flashlight discovered all the dark slick red with chunks of bones and meat. The ground and the walls had a grotesque carnage displayed all over the corridor. Monsters, or merely pieces of them.

Mink stepped out, keeping watch on the surroundings, but he gave no comments to what he was seeing.

It only took one second of fake safety, Mink gasped sharply as something of great strength pushed him away, momentarily stunning him.

Aoba was slow to react, a force that came out of nowhere grabbed his neck and slammed his back against the wall. He stared at the sickly butchered face of his own twisted reflection, staring back at him with those swollen red eyes. He hated this. This was the third time. The third time he was taken by this douchebag and felt helpless about it.

“Get off me!” With all strength he had, hurling him to the opposite wall.

He didn’t think at all, next thing he knew, his hands maneuvered the crowbar against the stomach of the double, the steel was buried deep inside it. As unsettling as it was, it turned out to be easier than he thought. The other self was literally impaled, and it gave Aoba a sick sense of satisfaction to know this time he got the bastard.

... But for some reason, he felt completely terrible about it.

For one moment, there were no red eyes, no tattered skin, not white hair. Just the exact reflection of who Aoba was, whom he was supposed to be. He was blue-haired and fair, but a noticeably different face.

The bright golden eyes of the double just kept on staring at him, held a miserable expression on his face. _No…_ this was different from misery. This was more like helplessness.

“… _Wake-up, Aoba_.”

The wound didn’t bleed. Aoba pulled out the crowbar from the double’s stomach, and realized his hands were shaking.

It only lasted for one second, before the whole embodiment of the other self was completely gone, as if it was never there to begin with.

He remained speechless for some seconds, feeling somehow beaten, completely hopeless and confused.

“Is he gone?” he finally muttered, noticing that Mink was again on his feet.

“He’s never truly gone.” Mink responded, evidently tired and hurt. Aoba approached him carefully, unsure if the man broke anything. “I don’t understand how, but he always has a way of finding me. But obviously his main interest now is you.”

“… And what’s his deal? What did he mean by all that?” Before Aoba could keep on interrogating the man, he noticed that Mink’s right hand was bleeding. “Your wrist…”

The remark made the tall muscular man to touch the source of the blood. “It’s just a bruise.” By the time he said that, Aoba had already taken out a vial of alcohol from his bag, to clean any wound there was. Mink just grunted and took that away from the young man’s hands. “I can do this myself.”

Mink was more than capable of taking care of himself, Aoba observed. Before giving him a white cloth and bandage for his needs, Aoba illuminated the wound beneath the dirty bandage and felt confused. It looked like a bite.

That wound wasn’t recent, and it was obviously opened when he was attacked.

They needed to leave that corridor quickly, the heat was making the smell of the monsters viscera unbearable, but that wasn’t Aoba’s main concern. Clear was still trapped and new questions were rising up.

“I want you to tell me something.”

He grimaced at Mink, who seemed determinate to avoid conversation as best as possible.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this far. This should mark the last third of the whole story, and from now and on, a lot of hints and mysteries are going to get solved (or not?). I hope to make it out of it alive.


	20. Red Head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some problems came up last week and this chapter took longer than usual. I'm sorry :/ This time, the chapter was self-beta'd so... it may look a bit messy here and there.  
> Anyways, comments and constructive opinions are always welcome!

Aoba knew that this wasn’t just a coincidence. His grandma already explained him about it; he had seen it before with Koujaku, and probably Noiz too; the obscure places they were previously caught in have deeply and personally affected them, and this place wasn’t any different. Aoba didn’t know what to do about it or if there was one specific way to stop it… but if Mink or Clear were in danger because of this, there should be one way or other to avoid more damaging situations. Or maybe there wasn't any way to begin with.

“I’m sure that children were used to perform certain experiments, however, they were somewhere else than here, and I am not familiar with the methods or reasons. I never met any of them.” Mink mentioned with a dark tone, as they met the end of the bloodied corridor. The younger man frowned when he had it confirmed, but that wasn’t the only thing bothering him.

“... Alright, then what's with all the screaming? There’s something you’re not telling me.”

“And what reasons do I have to talk to you about this?” Mink grunted defensively.

“Look, I saw your face when you told about this facility, and when you heard the screaming.” Aoba leaned against the warm wall, facing the man that avoided eye contact. “If you think there’s something you need to get off your chest, now’s the time to do it!”

“… I know you mean no harm, but it’d be pointless to tell you.”

“Pointless? Why?” He didn’t obtain an answer, Mink just started to walk away. Right, it was pointless because the huge idiot was strongly against talking more about himself. Aoba simply sighed in annoyance. “Okay, wait. We’re going together, alright?”

They went to the same corridor Aoba used to enter with Clear to the place (or so he thought; it had changed so much, he wasn’t sure anymore); the echo of their shoes against the moist floor were muffled by the screeching coming from below. Any nearing sound could mean that they were in threat.

Although Aoba previously claimed that the door was locked, the large man tested it anyways, even kicked it a few times at least twice as hard as Aoba was capable of, but it turned out to be equally useless.

The taller man pondered quietly, taking a long look around the place. Aoba didn’t dare to interrupt, but the anxiety and the heat on the air grew thicker.

“This vent should lead out to the garage.” He mentioned, striding towards the wall, a vent high up, and it was dripping in that black gooey thing. Mink looked back at the younger man and signaled at him with his hand. “You are small enough to fit in.”

Aoba jumped angrily. “You gotta be fucking kidding me.”

But the other man had a serious face, but didn’t seem like someone willing to pick up a fight. “This is not up to discussion.” Besides, he was probably right about it, and that was the part that made Aoba angry the most.

“If you are correct about the vent ducts, then I guess I have no other choice” Aoba sighed. “I need to save Clear.”

Mink took the smaller man’s crowbar and literally ripped the vent open within a couple of seconds. Aoba clipped the flashlight on his shirt and took off his own jacket —knowing that he was going to get dirty—, although it’d be weird to trust Mink to take care of that it along the bag pack, but there was really no reason to distrust the man. Mink was prepared to lift him up to get him into the open vent, and even before that, gave him back the crowbar for obvious reasons.

“Up I go…”

When he placed his hands over the slimy interior of the duct, he instantly regretted this decision. The air only got hotter, somehow it made his breathing more difficult, besides it was a very small space; fair enough, someone as big as Mink would easily get stuck in here. He had to adjust the position of his flashlight in order to see the end of the vent duct, but what caught his attention was the light touching the viscous black liquid, covering most of the vent’s insides.

At the moment he started to crawl inside the icky space, his hand slipped and he fell on his chin, groaning at the sudden impact. “Something wrong?” Mink asked from the outside, but Aoba simply complained about how gross the ducts were. He moved more cautiously over the narrow duct, occasionally holding his breath to avoid the growing nausea. It was soaking his legs and arms in that gross black liquid, and he was certain that back of his head was getting some of that as well.

He took the left side of the duct, to where he was sure it’d take him to the garage area. Aoba managed to change the position of his body through the narrow space when he met the other vent, sealed as well. He kicked it once and then slipped out of the duct, mildly proud of himself.

When he moved his light to see the garage, he knew it was natural to see it completely changed, but he never thought it’d be with such a great degree. Where the van once was, there was something like an intricate nest made out of chains, reminiscent of the cell room he found before seeing Mink. But this time, it wasn’t a featureless figure hanging wrapped on chains.

A barely human-looking thing was constricted by chains on its upper body, however, chains that had sharp-hook ends were viciously piercing the fleshy legs on the lower part of the gruesome body, they were pulled apart open in a rather suggestive and painful manner. The forcefully spread and torn center was twitching red, reminiscent of the long-legged monsters that he’s seen before; the legs wriggled for one second while Aoba observed completely absorbed and horrified by the sight.

Then he noticed the big room had a platform on the upper part, the ceiling was now twice as tall from the original garage. He noticed movement on the platform, followed by the sound of swift footsteps.

White again. The childish figure dressed in white was standing up there, much to his dismay. It was a kid, alright. Aoba’s heart froze, that kid was wearing a perfectly white pair of shorts and a matching white shirt, but it’s face —no, it’s whole head— had no other feature than the bright messy red. There was no bruise or shape to distinguish, just a head covered in red.

The kid was waving their hand at him.

It was a simple gesture of salutation, but it didn’t seem particularly energetic or cheerful. It was just waving. At this point, Aoba was too disturbed and scared to know how to react.

Then… he detected another figure. Standing far on the corner of the upper platform, just a few meters away from the kid, where the light could barely reach. It’s been standing there the whole time, observing them. He recognized the formal-looking clothes and the ephemeral light reflected by its spectacles.

‘ _… Virus_?’

“What did you find?” The voice that came from the door behind his back startled Aoba, distracting him from the sight of the man from the upper platform. Mink was probably worried for the lack of response.

“Nothing, I-I’m… not sure.” He answered fidgeting, unwilling to put in words the thing inside the garage room. He checked with his light on the upper platform again, but nor the kid or Virus were there anymore.

Aoba wiped his face with the untainted cloth of his shirt, removing a thick layer of sweat, but the sensation of sudden nausea attacked him again, making him turn away from the displayed figure at the center of the room.

“… I think I’m gonna throw up”, he said.

“Save it.” Mink spoke back through the door. “Did you find the switches?”

“Y-yeah, just a moment.”

They weren’t hard to find at all, the switches were mostly intact from last time he saw them, alas they still had blood on the handles. At this point, it didn’t matter. He noticed right away that one of them wasn’t on its proper place, he could just tell that it didn’t look like that when he saw it first. When he pulled it up, it almost felt as if something from above moved, making the ground vibrate for one second.

“Okay, I think I heard something at the distance… Clear might be free, but he’s still all alone.” Aoba said, when he went back to the door, but… it was open. He heard no reply. “Mink?” He pulled it open cautiously, but the moment his light touched the hallway, there was nobody out there. “… Fuck… Mink, where are you? Mink!”

His companion disappeared without a warning. Why did it happen that every time he took his eyes off someone, they ended up disappearing?

Aoba didn’t want to panic, but everything was turning out to be more terrible than he ever imagined. He could hear from the distance the sweet velvet tune of Clear’s song, a soft contrast to the distorted hell that resounded in the basement.

Walking alone again through the dark hot corridor only proved to be more unnerving than it used to be when he still had Mink on his side. Of course, he kept on calling the man’s name, yet Aoba didn’t find trace or response. As he passed through the place in which he last saw the other ‘Aoba’, he accidentally stepped on a chunk of meat, making him slip and fall on his bottom.

This became the moment in which he started to panic for real. Hyperventilating, he gawkily got back on his legs and started to run to where the stairs should be. His pants were sticking uncomfortably on his leg’s skin because of the humidity from both the stinky black goo and the blood on the floor… The air was unbearably hot and painful. There was black smoke floating above his head, and his throat was burning for inhaling the stuff.

He coughed violently, but tried his best to not stop his tracks while covering his mouth. He found the stairs and started running up while fighting off the dizziness.

Something was definitely burning somewhere nearby. He started to hear the screaming again, making the fear and impotence curse through his bones. They were not only children this time. He stopped from one moment of weakness. Screams and violent rumbling, he could hear it all around him, as if the sound and the smell have finally engulfed him alone. He closed his watering eyes while breathing heavily against the fabric of his shirt, given the jacket he took off was now probably lost. Bag was also lost.

Words within screams were imploding at him, but they were out of his comprehension. Were they asking for help? Were they trying to warn him of something? Were they telling their story? He didn’t know.

“Please, stop…” His head was burning up in fever. If his legs didn’t move him soon, he’d go insane or worse.

Sudden images entered his brain, taken over by bedlam.

Fire and black smoke extending as far as he could see. The sound of bones breaking and the relentless gunfire.

The forest was on fire. People were tearing apart the air with their screaming. It was so hard to breathe. It felt as if all liquid within his body was seeping out of him. His neck hurt. It was warm and wet around his neck. Flesh was splitting open while his eyes captured the image of one familiar face. It was filled of grief and resignation while tiny droplets of red were sprinkling his chin and mouth. His eyes were a different color though.

_This was…_

“Stop. _This isn’t happening_.” He gasped, trying to focus back on reality.

Big heavy steps were coming up to him just when he started to slow down because of the burning sensation on his throat and eyes. He coughed uncontrollably, but had his hand firmly grasping his crowbar… he just didn’t know if he’d manage to move if it came to defend himself. At least he finally snapped out of it.

His light found the same face from those images forced into his mind. Same man, same afflicted face, but this was reality. He knew it because of the color of his eyes.

It was Mink coming upstairs, and he seemed to be in haste. Also… the left side of his forehead was bleeding… _Was that a cut?_

“And _where the fuck_ _have you been_?” Aoba whined outraged, he didn’t even try to hide his concern for the taller man’s short disappearance. But just before Aoba could scold the man any further, Mink roughly yanked him by the arm.

“More of them are coming this way. Hurry!”

Aoba was practically dragged a few steps before running up on his own. They were going to the building’s third floor, in which Clear was still singing alone, the tender echo corrupted by the thunderous noises coming from below. Aoba couldn’t help but to notice, the source of the smoke probably came from the basement. Did Mink go back to that place alone? Was it important enough to leave Aoba alone without saying anything?

They came to the small black corridor, there was a light coming from a white body that sat in fetal position. Clear halted his gentle song the moment both men arrived, getting up to glance at them. The biggest of reliefs washed over Aoba and suddenly forgot about the smoke.

“Oh, Clear, thank god you’re fine!” Aoba almost felt like hugging the masked young man and maybe cry a little, but it’d be embarrassing and out of place in this situation. He touched both shoulders of the white-haired guy, who was seemingly open for comfort. “Clear, I wanted to save you as soon as possible… Did you have to wait for too long?”

“No. I just did what you told me, Aoba-san. I sang to keep the monsters away… Moreover, are you hurt?” Clear seemed to be fine, and that was all that mattered. The masked face moved to see past Aoba, placing his attention on the large man standing behind. “Mink-san! You’re here too? Are you okay?”

He watched Clear walking to the other man, and their closeness was evident as the bruised man nodded lightly to the masked one. There was blood on Mink’s face, but nobody made a remark about it.

“The place is burning from below; we need to go now.” The tall man urged them.

Way back, the smoke was spreading dangerously fast, and they ran away to the original route they were meant to in the first place.

Whatever started the fire, Mink was definitely more informed about it, but… would he tell?

“So, care to explain to me now why did you suddenly leave me all by myself?” Aoba asked, too angry and sick to even care for any possible backlash from the taller man. Not like he didn’t feel thankful to Mink for helping him back at the stairs, but still…

“Had to do a thing on the basement.” He responded darkly. “Let’s go this way.”

They escaped through a new door, at first they were hit by the stark cool of the outside of the building, just making Aoba shudder at the feeling. And since it was actually burning, they’d better get away from it soon. Aoba realized that this was the rooftop of the building, identifying the shape of vent ducts that were sticking out.

The interior of Platinum Jail… it was actually easy to see. Some feeble gray light had filtered inside the dome, and there was barely any fog on the streets. They could perfectly see the outstanding tall tower from where they stood. The sight filled with complex architectures of glass and steel extending through long avenues that led straight to the center of the alluded Tower that seemed close to pierce the transparent screens of the dome. The scenery was somewhat breathtaking, but also incredibly terrifying. It was like witnessing a sleeping giant from afar…

“So this is how Platinum Jail looks like from the inside…” he whispered, genuinely impressed. “How strange... it feels as if I’m being drawn to its center, like a magnet.”

Indeed, the fog in this place was nearly non-existent, yet… Aoba couldn’t stop feeling a great sense of threat from all over the place. He just knew. More unknown atrocities were lurking around this place.

“I can hear it…” Clear murmured, something Aoba managed to listen.

“Hear what?”

“… My Master’s voice, it’s coming from up there.” And so, the white gloved hand pointed at Oval Tower, and Aoba only felt unsure of what he meant. Didn’t he used to say that Aoba was his ‘Master’? But also recently Clear have told him that he wasn’t his ‘Master’ anymore…

Mink leaned closer, whipping off the blood from his forehead. His arms were surprisingly still carrying a bag and what seemed to be Aoba’s jacket.

“Your _master_? Then that’s the place where we ought to go.” Mink said, casually handing back Aoba his belongings, not making eye contact.

“Well, _where else_ were we supposed to go?” Aoba grumbled while putting back on his jacket, evidencing his discomfort at the vagueness he was forced to put up with.

He appreciated the fact that he got his stuff back from Mink, who actually bothered to keep them secure —besides, Takatsuki’s journal was still inside his bag; it’d have been a shame if it got lost for any reason—, but somehow he felt that the older man didn’t do it for him.

“Aoba-san, are you upset?”

“Yeah, I’m kind of upset. Why won’t you guys tell me what’s going on for once?”

Clear was getting anxious. “I-I’m sorry. But you know, there’s someone we came to look for in there, isn’t that right?”

“Why are you asking me?” Aoba questioned. “I never told you who do I want to find in that tower.”

“… You came to find that Ghost’s brother, didn’t you?” Mink interrupted, looking down to the neighboring buildings.

The blue-haired man had his mouth gaping for one second, not knowing how to respond to that. It was a fact that Mink was familiar with Blank... Aoba's eyes darkened a little, holding down the words he wanted to spill out, the secrets he gathered and awaited to be unlocked.

“But that’s not the only reason why you came here in the first place.” Mink continued instigating, briefly staring at Aoba.

“… Yeah, you may be right about that.” Aoba answered crossing his arms while giving the older man a bitter look. “But what about you? I know you didn’t come here just to go after Toue himself, did you?”

Mink frowned. “So? Do you have anything against it?”

No. As far as Aoba knew, what Mink intended to do what was to _save_ him, as confirmed by the conversation he eavesdropped from his grandma and the taunts of his heinous double… but what did they mean by _‘saving’_? Something in his guts told him that he wouldn’t like to know it.

“Please, don’t fight…” Clear whined, his manner almost childish. “Can’t we just get along until we arrive to Oval Tower? Please?”

“… Sorry. I’m just... really tired and sick, that’s all.” Aoba said, rubbing his face flustered. His hands were shaking, and it wasn't because of the cold.

“We may find some place to let you rest if you’re ready to give up.” Mink replied.

“… Why can’t you admit that you’re just as exhausted? Weakness hurts our pride, but also keeps us alive.”

Mink sighed, he gestured to the iron handles that composed the rooftop's ladder. It was one way to go down from the building’s third floor. Of course, Aoba was the first to go down and Mink went right after… and Clear gasped as he was pushed off the edge, making him fall to the cold ground with a loud crash.

Aoba froze for one second, fearing for his hands to suddenly let go of the ladder… Mink was clearly distressed by this sudden mishap. “Keep going!” he grunted, even though Aoba didn’t see the man move further. Mink’s head was still above the rooftop, therefore he saw what pushed the masked young man. Aoba could see smoke spreading above the building’s top. “MOVE!” Aoba flinched slightly when Mink yelled at him, so he quickly complied, absolutely terrified.

Mink followed, nearly stepping on the younger man’s fingers more than once as they went down. Aoba had to endure an unspeakable anxiety while waiting for his feet to find the last step of the ladder, unknowing of Clear’s condition or who or what was responsible of pushing him from the third floor.

All he could see was the black burning smoke rising from the rooftop and a pair of long red claws clutching at the edge of the edifice. The long head of a creature that seemed to be made up of burning coal and melted flesh peeked from the roof… it had no eyes however, just a large black maw.

The screech it exuded was weak and pathetic. Aoba’s heart withered a little, knowing well it didn’t quite sound like a monster.

It was more like a lament of a person. It cried and cried. Aoba eventually had to stop paying attention to it, no matter how heartbreaking it was.

Eventually, it died away, as it did the black smoke eventually. That thing had lived its last moments in burning agony, Aoba thought.

Clear was still lying there, but Aoba saw the white shoulders of Clear's coat flinch a little.


	21. What Did You See?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello. Thanks again for reading another chapter! I'll be on a roadtrip tomorrow and I won't be able to write anything for a while, but I'll keep you updated whenever possible on my tumblr mamada-san or pinkromantic. This chapter is plot-heavy and we get to see more about Takatsuki and.... some other relevant(?) characters! I hope you enjoy it. Please eave a comment and tell me what you think!

“Clear!” he ran to the white body lying face down, knowing that he just saw him flinch.

No human could have survived such a fall unharmed, yet… Clear should be fine. Somehow, deep inside, Aoba knew that Clear should be fine. Until now, nothing had permanently harmed the guy.

He had seen Clear getting beaten by a giant, stopping Koujaku’s sword, doing dangerous parkour maneuvers… he just knew that Clear was and should be fine.

As Mink approached the masked man in the lab coat, something about his head seemed strange. Clear was crouching, covering his mask with both hands. Apparently, it suffered some severe damage, but Clear himself was unharmed.

“I-I’m fine. Just a little surprised though.” The white-haired man made little effort to get back on his feet, probably aware that there was a big visible gash in the middle of the black mask, besides the respirator being broken. “It took me off-guard, but I promise it won’t happen again.”

“Are you sure?” Mink breathed, visibly scowling. Clear just nodded and brushed off the dirt from his pants and coat. “Then again, if you are ready, let’s get going.”

It felt as if Mink was pressing the masked man to make the choice, but Clear possibly understood the weight of the situation, and was able to respond well under this pressure. “Right. I’m ready!”

Aoba, of course, was left momentarily speechless as he followed their lead into what seemed to be an avenue constructed to wear several lights up and down the posts; it should have looked wonderful when it’s lights were still working. But looking straight at the end of the wide long avenue, he could see the shadows painting the large tower. No lights, no life, nothing could be seen within the great edifice…

Realizing how wide the dome really was, Aoba felt suddenly so tiny and unimportant, as if he was at the mercy of a dark silent titan.

They walked for five minutes on the sidewalk, Aoba growing increasingly suspicious over the fact that they haven’t encountered monsters since they entered Platinum Jail… but that wasn’t all. The streets were untouched by chaos, clean of any signs of vandalism or looting. Everything seemd to be frozen in time. Only dust had gently bathed the surface of everything… It was as if every person who ever lived in that place had calmly evacuated, but Aoba knew that, according to what his grandma said about the situation, that couldn’t have been possible…

What could he have been missing? Was he the only one surprised by this?

And what about the monster from back there? Did they manage to escape from that place because it perished? Or was there something he was missing?

“Mink, when you left me by myself, you went to the basement to find that monster, didn’t you?” The taller man didn’t even flinch or looked back at Aoba. “I’m not stupid, you know. Did you go down to fight against it? ” Aoba grumbled.

For an instance, a cool breeze blew between them, some sort of drowned out shrill cut through the air and Mink had stopped his tracks, having his bandaged wrist clenched by the smaller man’s hand. Aoba’s voice grew colder as it neared to the other man’s shoulder. “I know what those screams were. I know what your memories were. I’ve seen them…”

Mink had tensed up, the wound on his wrist was probably hurting. Clear hadn’t noticed, as if he was walking on an entirely different world from them, and Aoba was too pissed and too exhausted to even care about these details.

“What did you see?” Mink finally asked.

“A burning forest. Your face stained with blood.” He mustered, tightening his hold on Mink’s wrist. “I know what it is. I know, as if I was there too. It was as if I was seeing it through someone else’s eyes, as if I was feeling it through someone else’s skin… Mink, what did you do to the Aoba from those memories?”

The expression on the taller man’s face twisted in pain, not emotional pain, but physical. There was blood seeping through the cracks between his fingers as Mink’s wound bled within the younger man’s palm.

He let go of the man’s wrist and time continued flowing again. Aoba snapped out of the icy conduct that wrapped his words, realizing that he didn’t want to hear the answer, and he didn’t even know how he asked those questions.

Mink backed away, looking down at him as if he just saw his life pass right in front of his eyes, and Aoba shuddered in dread, feeling his palm sticky and wet with blood. But maybe it was only sweat. Truth is that Aoba looked at his own hand twice and saw a different thing each time.

After that, nobody stopped to make a remark about what happened, making Aoba start to ponder if he actually had that confrontation with Mink or if it was just part of his imagination getting crazy with the stress.

He didn’t even realize how or when, but before he could recall, his head was resting against a couch as a sweet tune was gently taking away his pain and anxiety.

What was this place anyway? A house? The ceiling looked familiar somehow… It looked fine. When he tried to recall, only the name ‘Glitter’ came into mind. Perhaps this wasn’t the first time he had seen this ceiling.

The sounds of that gentle undistorted voice were like the waves of the sea washing ashore. He couldn’t quite tell from where it was coming from. He couldn’t tell if he was left alone or if the other two men were still inside the same room he was.

His eyes remained closed as he sighed quietly listening to the Jellyfish song, willing all the worries away…

Quietly, he realized that he still had his own bag with him. Thoughtlessly, he opened the bag and reached inside for an object of interest.

****

_XX / XX / 20XX_

_We cannot hide. We cannot rest. We cannot breathe. Have they abandoned us to our luck? We have been moving from building to building. The longest we stayed safely in one place has been only two days. Hibari-kun can_ _'t_ _bear to look at me. I don'_ _t have the courage to tell him yet._

_The sewers are the safest place in Platinum Jail, but the Alphas are way too smart to ignore the possibility of intruders hiding down here. We haven'_ _t slept for days. Not even out mutual warmth or the safety of the gun can put us back to the comfort of sleep._

_XX / XX / 20XX_

_…_ _._ _…_ _.._ _…_ _. Hibari-kun simply put the gun inside his mouth and pulled the trigger, even when I told him that I needed him now more than ever. Now I'm_ _all alone. I don_ ' _t have the strength to keep on writing._

_XX / XX / 20XX_

_I almost killed myself this morning. To lay next to my beloved Hibari-kun seemed like a fine idea, a whole family would be reunited in death. I don't_ _know what kept me from doing it; maybe I'm just too scared to die. But now I'm_ _not even sure anymore. What if I'm_ _dead already? Everything outside the sewers has suddenly died, the music, the voices, the lights_ _…_ _people were just wandering aimlessly and nobody seemed to notice each other amidst this white mist. It's_ _so peaceful. I thought maybe this was really the afterlife, but I know for sure that I'm_ _still alive_ _…_ _His body is starting to smell. I don't_ _know what to do. Did he want me to live? Or did he want me to follow him? I don't_ _know. Now that I think about it_ _…_ _it was always about me. I was the one who constantly needed his support. He never got sad or angry to me. He never told me if he was upset. I never tried to ask. I was so awful to Hibari-kun. For certain, I_ _’_ _m still alive, because if I wasn't_ _, then I'd_ _be burning up in hell. I know_ _I would_ _, if such a place existed._

_XX / XX / 20XX_

_There's_ _no logic_ _al_ _explanation for them. These_ _'monsters'_ _. Logic might not be the thing needed right now. It seems we've_ _been reduced to the most basic laws of survival: to kill or be killed. I have never learned something as fast as the need to kill, which is, to say the least, tragically disturbing._

_XX / XX / 20XX_

_There are people still living inside Oval Tower. It's_ _possibly the only safe place left in this island. Scientists and guards who worked for Toue's_ _company, all desperately willing to coexist and resist for the sake of survival. They took me in as one of them, and nobody questioned me once I showed them proof that I used to be a researcher as well. Dr. Sakurai is living among them too. He doesn't_ _seem to have noticed that it's_ _been ten years since we stopped being colleagues. Maybe I can have a chance to survive in a dreadful place like this after all._

 _Dr. Sakurai noticed when the walls are leaking. He's_ _the only one who has noticed besides me._

_XX / XX / 20XX_

_That guard guy, Mikami, he believes that Toue is dead already. Sakurai fights him over this. If I ask them why they think like that, they can_ _’_ _t give me proper answers. Sakurai speaks of a_ _'dark world'_ _that only can be accessed through divine intervention. Even if that wretched man Toue was still alive, I'm_ _sure that he left this island and took his son with him. He could have been the one who set this hell loose to begin with. However, Sakurai insists that he_ _’_ _s never seen the man come down ever since the apparition of the fog._

 _We went upstairs together until the pains started to become unbearable and I had to return to the others. Sakurai later came back to tell me that the rest of the stairs were completely destroyed. The elevator doesn't_ _seem to work either. Even if it's_ _unlikely, there's_ _no actual proof that Toue even left the building, just as Sakurai said. Then again, Sakurai has become insane with the passing of the years_ _…_ _I really can't_ _trust him after all._

_XX / XX / 20XX_

_Outside, the mist is gone. But I can't_ _get out. Doors all over the first floor are locked. I can't_ _even break the windows. Something wants to keep us inside._

 _Mikami panicked because he said that we ran out of food even though but there's_ _still rations for two weeks. He shot himself because he thought it was noble to sacrifice his body in order for us to eat. I wish I could stop vomiting. They are actually cooking Mikami's_ _remains._

 _I was mistaken about my luck. I know what he is. I know what he is doing. I know what he wants_ _…_ _I'm_ _scared._

_XX / XX / 20XX_

_Sakurai started to yell at me and swing a pipe while running at me. He kept on yelling that I knew how to find_ _'him'_ _. I could barely run. I managed to get into the elevator and close it before he could catch me. He couldn't._ _Something I couldn't_ _see dragged him away and started to tear him apart. This is the third time that I ever see a man die so close_ _…_

_XX / XX / 20XX_

_I'm_ _inside the data room now, locked up. Everyone's_ _dead. Too many monsters came in all at once._

_XX / XX / 20XX_

_Five bodies. Five colors. There's_ _supposed to be an order. I know there is, but the words make no sense to me. I found a phone. I accidentally sent pictures to someone but when I tried to use it there was only static and gurgling sounds coming from it. Who took these pictures?_

 _… …_ _…_ _…_ _Spoke to me. He is not Sei, and at the same time, he is. He said that he cannot help me._

_Where is Sei? Where is Sei? Where is Sei? Where is Sei? Where is Sei? Where is Sei? Where is Sei? Where is Sei? Where is Sei? Where is Sei? Where is Sei? Where is Sei? Where is Sei? Where is Sei? Where is Sei? Where is Sei? Where is Sei? Where is Sei? Where is Sei? Where is Sei? Where is Sei? Where is Sei? Where is Sei? Where is Sei? Where is Sei? Where is Sei? Where is Sei? Where is Sei? Where is Sei? Where is Sei? Where is Sei? Where is Sei? Where is Sei?  
_

_Maybe this is what I deserve for my sins. I knew that children and young people were involved into this horrible place and I partook on their misery. I knew and then decided to ignore, hoping that one day I might be able to forget and forgive myself. I know I deserve this. Forgive me._

_FORGIVEME_

_the eyes of_ _……_ _new_ _……_ _open doors_ _…_ _…_ _…_ _…_ _…_ _eir minds like doors_ _…_   _…_   _…_

 _…_ _.. someone_ _………_ _death_ _…_ _…_ _different worlds_ _…_ _…_ _…_ _split existence_ _……_ _……_ _…_ _..alive_ _…_  

 _…_ _.through the human mind_ _…_ _.. never should be_ _…_ _…_ _…_ _…_ _is this God? _…_ _…_ _…_  
_

_w_ _…_ _. is_ _…_ _..? What_ _…_ _..ve they done? Wh_ _…_ _here? _…_ _…_ _…_  
_

_Sei._

_Hel_ _… _…_ _…_ _…_  
_

_……_ _please_ _…_ _ou_ _…_ _…_ _…_ _…_ _elp me._ _…_ _Can't_ _……_ _……_ _Death_ _……_ _…_ _forgive_ _…_

 _… …_ _.one_ _…_ _……_ _……_ _death_ _…_ _……_ _……_ _……_ _Hibari_ _………_ _……_ _rgive me!_

_PLEASEFORGIVEMEPLEASEFORGIVEMEPLEASEFORGIVEMEPLEASEFORGIVEME_

_I don't_ _know for how long was I unconscious. I don't_ _remember writing these pages. I don't_ _understand why I wrote these pages. Somehow, I don't_ _want to know._

 _It's_ _been days like this. I can't_ _feel their life inside of me anymore. Is this the punishment I get for running away? All I truly have in the end is myself._

 _I'm_ _scared to die._

 _… … …_ _Can't_ _bring myself to do the procedure. I'm_ _either going to die slowly of poisoning if I let it be or I'm_ _going to bleed to death if I do it now. Now I have nothing to keep me going except that I know how to put an end to this nightmare_ _…_ _…_ _…_ _Everything is inside Sakurai's_ _documents. I know what needs to be done._

 _I don't_ _expect to go to heaven after this. Forgive me, Hibari-kun._

 _If you found this, I was already taken away. I'm_ _probably dead. Please let my journal be helpful on your way. Deliver this to my mother_ _…_ _…_ _…_ _…_ _love her_ _…_

 _… …_ _Save_ _…_ _…_ _SERAGAKI_ _…_ _…_ _no other way._

****

Takatsuki had written the words ‘PLEASE FORGIVE ME’ all over two complete pages, covering most of the text that would have originally been there. They were written with red like blood, but they reeked like something else…

He breathed out, faintly realizing his fingers loosened their hold on the notebook’s tattered cover. Reading the journal had drained him and only made his headache worse, so he closed his eyes as soon as he finished it. Needless to say, he had more questions now than ever. He wasn’t sure if he even wanted to comprehend this… Just thinking about it was making him internally ill.

Someone was sitting there, close to his feet. As his eyes opened, he saw the broken gas mask staring back at him. “Aoba-san? Did I wake you?”

Aoba groaned lightly, making an effort to sit back on the sofa. “No, I was really just resting my eyes. How long have you been watching me?”

Indeed, for how long? It could have been that he fell asleep for an hour or more after he finished reading the book and his perception of time was still messed up. He decided to not bring this up. Clear had his hands placed together on his lap, like a kid ready to confess a blunder.

“I’m sorry. I know that it’s a bad habit. Noiz-san would tell me that it’s creepy.” Clear explained, entwining his fingers. He sounded melancholic. “My grandfather passed away during his sleep, so… I can’t help to feel nervous. I’ve been also watching over Mink-san over there. I’ve never seen him so weary before.”

Aoba turned his eyes to the figure of the larger man sitting on a chair against the wall, his head inclined slightly, his chest and shoulders rising slowly. It was hard to see his face because of the darkened dreadlocks hanging over his head… Aoba could still smell some of the burnt ashes…

“… Yeah. This is actually the first time I've seen him like that too. I can’t blame him though.”

The house they secured was incredibly dark inside, and Mink’s flashlight was the only one turned off. Clear had his own placed on the floor facing upwards while Aoba used his to read the notebook and forgot to turn it off before resting his eyes.

“… Were you reading that journal?” Clear asked, making Aoba remember he left it open on the last entry. He shrugged and closed the book, making sure he didn’t crook any pages.

“Somehow I ended up bringing it with me, even though this is hardly the time to be reading, right?” Aoba sighed.

“Can I see it?”

“Sure. In fact, I finally finished it.” He handed it over to the masked man, although he also recalled that it was Clear the one who discovered the book first, but Aoba wasn’t completely sure how or where did the other man find it. The circumstances of how did the notebook even end up so far from Oval Tower were a complete mystery.

Clear claimed to have read it several times, and it got Aoba wondering how would Clear stay to quiet about its contents. The last few entries were terrifying to the point they gave him headaches.

Besides… there was  _that name_ …

“… Aoba-san… what are these pages?” Clear asked after slowly turning some of the dried bloodied paper sheets… “Did you do this?”

“Do what?”

“These pages right here.” He pointed out at the mess of words and red dye, those disturbing entries before Takatsuki’s last words. Clear sounded upset by this. “They were blank when I first saw them.”

“… Blank, you say?” Aoba frowned in concern, faced with this terrifying particularity. “No. I didn’t do anything to the journal.”

Clear didn’t react, it was hard to tell what sort of facial expression was he making, but he simply closed the notebook. “It’s okay, Aoba-san.” He said that and then remained quiet for some long seconds while Aoba tried to figure what to say or to determinate if Clear believed him at all… but then, the masked man talked again: “I wonder if Takatsuki-san would still be in there. I never really knew her, but I know that there was a woman who entered Platinum Jail with other men, while we worked our way to rescue you.”

It made sense, but it opened up a new terrible possibility when it was pieced together with Mink’s theory and the story of Takatsuki.

Clear continued. “But somehow… I don’t know how… How did we forget about her…?”

He froze in dread and contained one shaky wheeze. If that was the case, if Mink was right and the power of Scrap made the people involved with him lose their memories, then maybe that woman was probably dead because of him.

But why? And how many people were affected by Scrap while he was out of his mind?

Thinking about it made his head pound, and there was also that icky sensation of something crawling within his mind… but soon he realized that it wasn’t just that. There was a sound provoking this pain, and it was varying between high and low pitches that danced wildly in and out of his ears, violent enough to make him think he’d be bleeding from there.

He groaned in pain, falling to his knees while instinctively placing his hands over his ears. This… _song_ , this horrible noise, it was so painful to listen, he could barely see straight. His eyes perceived blurry lights and shadows that didn’t belong, and in the distance he could see Mink exactly in the same painful situation.

“What’s happening?” he tried to scream, but he couldn’t even focus on the sound of his own powerless voice. He tried to move to where Clear was supposed to be, but he couldn’t see him anywhere…

Suddenly, his mind seemed to drown into that malicious tune, he felt as if his ears and nose were leaking out something warm…

It all became darkness. The song resonated through bluntness thick as water, and he couldn’t breathe or scream. Nothing was occupying his mind except the blackness that forcefully held him down. It felt like death.

No. This wasn’t like death at all. This was something far worse than that.

And he was again inside that oppressive dark space, it was cold and hard to breathe, every tiny noise reverberated near him. It was like a cold steel coffin. For how long has he been inside this box?

A long line of white light opened over his eyes, the abrupt exposure to it made him squint and tense up. The line of light grew wider, the lid opening slowly as the sounds of whispers crawled over him.

Without knowing how, his eyes were looking down as a curled up figure covered in greasy-looking pale skin was resting inside the steel box. All kinds of filth was covering the bottom of the box, staining the remains of what seemed to be a man with the same face, the same body and the same hair he had. He was still breathing, but he didn’t seem to be alive at all, just an empty husk…

Panic rose up his chest, wanting to turn away. He wanted to close the damn box again, but he couldn’t move. He could feel the shame and fear bubbling inside his stomach and going up to his head until he felt like he couldn’t breathe.

For one moment, eyes just like his own stared back at him.

“Aoba-san, hang in there!” Clear’s muffled voice broke through the picture that Aoba was seeing, the illusion diluting like paint washed away with alcohol.

His head felt heavy and the pain was searing like a hammer cracking open his skull. He tried to open his eyes, feeling his fingers numb and his face damp with sweat. He stopped hearing the horrible song, but now he could hear the sound of heavy thrashing trembling on the floor, the struggling gasps that could only belong to Clear himself.

Partially recovering his sight, he felt his heart sink to his stomach when he looked at the ground nearby.

It was a gas mask lying on the ground, or at least pieces of it. By the looks of it, it would seem that it was smashed by a heavy object.

Strength had returned to his arms as he kept on listening to the strife, not knowing if his friend was okay or not. There was a pause and then a long scream accompanied by the sharp noise of fabric tearing… Clear had screamed.

With body still stiff over the experience it suffered, Aoba forced his legs to move, no matter how heavy they were. He lifted his head, eyes focusing on the three figured in front of him. One of them, white lying on the ground shaking, as dark liquid was oozing out of one of their limbs. He identified Clear’s clothes, but something wasn’t right.

There was three of them. Three of the same. Were his eyes playing tricks on him?

No, somehow, they weren’t the same. Their faces were uncannily human, but all color was robbed from them. Only the one lying in the floor had a completely human face and expression.

Was that how Clear’s face looked like?

He was also bleeding, left arm missing. One of the two white men was holding up the stolen limb mockingly.

Some sort of hot rage filled Aoba. Mindless anger gave him the necessary strength to reach into his bag nearby, grab his crowbar and get back up to tackle the two strangers. At this point, he didn’t care if he wasn’t seeing right, as long as Clear was in danger he’d do anything to save him.

Pushing one of the white men away, he realized he was heavier than he looked, but it didn’t stop Aoba from throwing his own weight against Clear’s aggressor, promptly swung the long piece of steel towards the white-dressed man.

For one second, he looked at its face, and its eyes were lifeless and cruel… he didn’t feel any regrets when he plunged the crowbar to this thing’s face.

He forgot to take care of his own back from the second one, but when he looked back, he saw Mink standing behind it and a sharp edge tearing through the thing’s neck. It didn’t spill red blood, but rather just the same oily dark red liquid that came from Clear’s arm.

It all happened too fast, Aoba was momentarily frightened over the electric sparks that came out of the wound he just provoked.

The creepy white intruders had fallen, and the air was filled with the scent of sulfur. He remained paralyzed for a moment, silently disturbed over how easy it was to finish them off, indicator of how much he grew accustomed to the slaying of threats.

He didn’t like this feeling.

Besides, there was lying down, curled up while pressing his face against his knees, to hide what has been already exposed. He was also holding his own oozing arm with an iron grip. Aoba was scared of what this could mean.

Mink was still there, making sure that the lifeless bodies they just attacked wouldn’t move again… and Aoba then realized just how sick the older man actually looked, his skin and his clothes damp in sweat, exhaustion marked on his face. Whatever that music was, it affected him deeply, and Aoba couldn’t say that he was feeling any better.

His head was throbbing violently and he felt as if he’d pass out at any moment, his legs felt weak and couldn’t let him walk over to where Clear lay. How could he have lost his strength so fast?

“… Let me have a look.” Mink muttered, the low voice was so weak now, almost pitiful.

“Please don’t look at my face!” the high pitched voice of the white-haired man whined, but Mink didn’t hesitate on pulling the guy up by his armpits despite the struggle. “No! W-where’s my mask? Where is it?”

“It’s fine. I already know. I already know.” Mink repeated, his voice didn’t sound patronizing in any way, but Clear had his tremulous right hand covering his face. It was heartbreaking to see him prioritizing his face over his torn arm…

Mink pulled up the torn sleeve over the elbow to reveal a broken bone of steel, torn cables drenched in oil and skin falling apart like dry paint. As for the actual extent of the damage, Aoba couldn’t tell for sure how bad it was, Mink was trying to see if it could be fixed or not. The wounded android was still tense and kept on covering his face, but allowed the taller man to evaluate the damage.

This was surreal, in a way. Aoba didn’t feel as surprised as he thought he’d be, but the facts that remained were that Clear wasn’t human, the mask was gone and now was missing an arm. It all simply felt unreal.

“Clear?” Aoba called gently, but hesitated to get any closer. He could tell that the taller man was somewhat defensive while standing next to the white-haired character.

The young man in the soiled lab coat parted the gloved fingers that covered his face, one eye bright and unusual glanced shyly to Aoba.

The process of revealing the not-so-mysterious face little by little only made Aoba feel worse. Clear’s face was remarkably handsome, even though his eyes were looked down in uneasiness and his white brows were knitted in faint resignation.

He was fair-skinned, and below his lips there were two small moles, but Aoba saw something that just didn’t look right about Clear’s revealed face. On his forehead, beneath the white locks of hair, there was a small gray mark, it looked like it was painted there… but then he realized it wasn’t. That was a crack. Considering that the mask was completely smashed, Aoba deduced that one blow from those other robots was strong enough to create such harm.

Also, taking a look back at the broken robots and their faces, they had exactly the same face structure, but they both bore a closer resemblance to a porcelain doll rather than a human being, having their eyes completely white and their colorless skin seemed like it was dry and cracking… it was as if they have been rotting for years.

Clear opened his trembling mouth. “Doesn’t my face scare you? It looks just like theirs—”

“It does look like them, but I’m actually more worried about your well-being.” Aoba answered, unconsciously avoiding to stare at the pink eyes. “You were hit hard… and your arm…”

“I could only do so much to defend myself. If I attacked them, my lock would have stopped my auto-regenerative mechanism.” Clear said quietly, looking down at his broken limb; Mink had stopped touching it. “But at that rate, they would have destroyed me anyway. I have a lock but they don’t.”

“Lock?” Aoba asked.

“It’s the fault in his fabrication.” The older man added, weakly walking towards the fallen bodies. “His model is old, and he can’t attack his own kind as long as his lock is still activated.”

“So you knew about Clear being an android? For how long?”

“I figured it on my own.” Mink stared at him with weary golden eyes. “As for why he decided to keep this from you, he’s got his own reasons to it.”

They fell silent for some time after that. Even though Mink was evidently pushing himself, he suggested the possibility of replacing Clear’s missing limb with one of the fallen androids, but Clear declined this idea immediately. As a matter of fact, the wounded one insisted that both of his friends should rest while he could still sing them to sleep.

The song was hardly necessary, because the older man was already sitting against a wall, defeated by fatigue. His long dreadlocks covered most of his face, and he exhaled what sounded like an unsteady breath; Mink probably stopped giving a damn about being seen sleeping like that.

Clear, who was still overwhelmed with anxiety —proven that he was capable of feeling anxiety—, for a moment forgot how to sing. He sat on the couch, with an expression of deep grief. Maybe he was too stressed to even begin to hum?

Aoba himself was spent, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to hold on his consciousness any longer. It was strange, given that the place was devastated and the sight of those hideous androids was something disturbing to fall asleep nearby. Without thinking, the blue-haired man sat next to Clear, still stiff and uneasy about what just happened.

The torn remains of the left arm were wrapped by the coat’s sleeve, something that Mink decided to do after Clear told him to leave it alone; apparently he wasn’t exaggerating when he said that he truly considered that man as his ‘friend’. Aoba could acknowledge the subtle consideration of Mink for the white-haired android.

The unmasked sighed, turning his face to Aoba. “I’m so sorry, Aoba-san… People who survived Toue’s takeover learned to fear my successors, the Alphas, and my face is a brand of the fear and horror they unleashed over your people. I have the face of a monster, whether I want it or not.”

“Don’t say that.” Aoba replied, resting the back of his head against the couch. “I have known enough monsters… and you’re nothing like them.”

But he couldn’t blame Clear for having such a twisted perception about himself. Clear was possibly the exception of the rule, but this was such a lonely world for someone so unique.

The beautiful face of the robot smiled briefly, and the expression was complex enough for Aoba to understand that Clear was also feeling melancholy.

“I remember what you told me back then about my face. That was very kind of you. Even if you’re not…” Clear’s voice faltered before finishing that sentence and the smile faded. “Oh, no… it’s nothing.”

Aoba wished not to sleep yet, even if his mind was at its limit. His head was still ringing with the nightmarish song of the other androids, and he didn’t want to dream again… So many monsters were still outside, and even now he knew that both of these people couldn’t keep him safe, let alone keep themselves safe.

He didn’t know what to do.

He’d sleep, and maybe next time his eyes were opened, he’d still be in one piece.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make sure to leave your comment if you have anything to say! (pleasepleasepleasepleasedoit)


	22. Mirror Image

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm sorry it took me this long to update this fanfic. I know it must have lost most of its readers by now, but besides dealing with personal problems and writer's block, I've also taken the time to edit and correct past chapters, and I'm mentioning the following chapters because I consider I've done the most prominent changes in them: 1, 6, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 15. You might want to check them out if you want.
> 
> Also, you're going to see a lot of vomit starting from now, and probably the sexual metaphors will start getting out of hand... so, watch out for that!

The Jellyfish song didn’t make him sleep… At first, he couldn’t keep on looking to the mechanical stump wrapped in the blackened sleeve of his once white shirt, but he’d turn his gaze away again and again, knowing that Clear was uncomfortable when he was being observed. Apparently, the function in Clear’s body had stopped the ‘bleeding’ before it could’ve gotten worse.

There was only a gentle peace filling the dark house, the half-broken melody that reflected the mental state of the songster, but as it finished once more, Aoba was already feeling relaxed, even though it wasn’t the moment to feel at ease.

Clear had his arm literally torn from him, his identity forcefully revealed, and some things were unnecessary to be kept as secret now. Aoba knew that this vulnerability was the chance to make his questions.

“You said that you heard your ‘Master’s voice’ coming from the Oval Tower.” Aoba commented, looking at the white-haired young man on his side, gently interrupting the song. “Clear, who is this ‘master’ you’re talking about? Is that the person who made you?”

“… Yes, something like that. Toue is the one I was originally meant to call my ‘Master’.” Clear didn’t avoid eye contact this time. “I’m sorry. But… I don’t like calling him that. I… I was saved by my grandfather, he raised me to be the person I am today. However, that doesn’t change what I truly am or the reasons why I was created.” He turned his face to the cold bodies lying on the floor, then looked up to the ceiling. “Aoba-san’s voice used to be similar to Toue’s, so that’s why I should have called him my ‘Master’ in the first place, right?”

Aoba sighed, thinking deeply of what his friend just explained. Of course he considered the fact that the power of ‘Scrap’ being connected with Toue’s research were far more complex than he previously thought, and Clear just indirectly confirmed it. The young man only felt a slow fear wrap itself around his head as small vague images seeped into the depths of his muddled mind. But the idea was clear to him that there were many things tying him together to the stray android.

“If that was the case then we’re not really all that different from each other. I was given a power that can hurt people, and you were created to hurt people… yet we both broke free from those purposes.”

“… You’re probably right.” Clear still seemed unsure, evidently keeping something to himself.

“What is it?”

“Aoba-san, I am aware of what I am and what I do, thus I obtained the ability to think and do things that go beyond my original self was… but do you know what _you_ are? Do you know what _you_ do, Aoba-san? Do you know what you want?” Clear asked softly, a voice so small and empty it didn’t sound much like Clear should. But the question itself was weird and disturbing to Aoba.

 _Do I know what am I?_ , he questions himself inside his mind.

It was a dangerous thought. A part of his mind didn’t want to venture into that answer. Even though for days he had complained about people not telling him anything, now he was terrified by knowing more than he already did.

He knew why he came here. He always did. He just wanted to be over with it and get away from this island, have another chance to live a normal peaceful life with his grandma and … _That’s all he wanted_.

“I feel so tired, Clear.” He murmured, closing his eye lids with a pained expression. “I just want to wake up and find out that everything was just a nightmare.”

“I… wish for the same.” Clear responded, sighing softly even though a robot didn’t need to breathe. But Aoba wondered just how well could a robot be able to imitate human nature, that including their innate capability to deceive.

“You can lie down next to me if you want.” Aoba said softly.

He watched Clear smile a little, but shook his head after that.

“Thanks… but I don’t want to rest now. I don’t _need_ to rest, even though I think I can feel tired. It’s weird, but I just don’t want to stop, I don’t want to rest… not as long as I’m still here.”

The young man’s shoulders loosened a little after hearing the android’s determination, the purity still ringing in his voice

Clear wasn’t really a liar, but he was trying to keep quiet about the truth, barely capable to repress what he already knew and was somehow forbidden to tell. Clear couldn’t lie, but he was free to deny answers.

Immersed with this line of thoughts, he laid his head on the other side of the couch, Clear started to sing him to sleep kindly, the beautiful song about waves and sea was the only shield they had against the horrors existing outside their improvised shelter.

He dreamed again of the cold darkness, a disgusting smell sunk into his nostrils and the feeble whimper of his own voice reached into his ears, the slow violent sensation shook him out of his sleep. The grief and uneasiness that the Jellyfish’s song had washed away suddenly returned to him.

It was completely and quiet. He couldn’t distinguish the shades of his own arms stretching upwards in front of him. He tried to get up from the couch in silence, but ultimately decided to remain still as his eyes detected movement and dim light coming from the other side of the room.

One of the flashlights was lit, and he could see Mink’s figure sitting close to it, his features obscured by shadows… and Clear was walking towards him. Both of them were awake, and probably nobody noticed that he woke up too. Aoba stared to them, and figured that he could hear what they were murmuring to each other.

“… Mink-san, I felt so glad that you both rescued me, even though their music had damaged you. I’m sorry for not thanking you right away.” said Clear, sitting softly in front of the older man, it was hard to see his through the shadows too.

“Your quick acting prevented it from getting any worse than that.” Mink answered in raspy voice, harder to listen. Clear seemed to have nodded to this statement, slightly proud of his short-lived heroism. After a pause, Mink made another question. “Were you afraid of dying back there?”

“Yes.” The softer voice responded, it was so gentle it resembled a child’s voice. “It must be such a strange thing, right? A robot that is afraid of death.”

The room was feeling inexplicably warm, and the smell of sulfur had dissipated significantly, Aoba had barely the notion of where his things were left, but he’d probably be able to find his bag, he needed to drink water. Aoba slipped off from the couch, not making a sound, but he kept on listening to both men talk in confidence.

Clear’s questioning voice began to break; Aoba heard a light shifting of clothes, realizing that the figure of the android was now embracing his knees. “Do you remember when I asked you about the human souls? I think that now I know why is death so scary. It’s because I was made without a soul. If I die… then what will happen to me? Since I don’t have a soul, where do I go?”

“…You’d just cease to exist.” The older man said, solace was drawn from his low voice. “But don’t start blindly believing that you lack a soul, that’s a dumb assumption.”

“Then… will _this_ Aoba-san cease to exist too?”

Mink sighed softly. “I don’t know.”

“… Will _we_ cease to exist as well?”

Their breath stopped for a second, as if sound was momentarily absorbed as well. They didn’t say anything for only one second, yet it all seemed like it Mink an eternity to answer that question.

“I don’t know.”

Aoba stared blankly at the shadows on those men daintily painted in weak yellow light. He did so for a while until he got the urge to go and take a piss.

Slowly and quietly, not entirely careful, he reached out for his bag and took off from the sofa.

Besides the mess that the creepy androids left, the house they occupied was dusty, but not dirty, time had stopped inside Platinum Jail and the darkness of the night made it seem like the center of a great void. He briefly looked outside the windows, but his flashlight could only touch the particles of dust floating on the air.

The thought of escaping had crossed his mind, he didn’t fear this blackness as much as he dreaded the company of those men. It was far more evident on Mink, but Clear’s words had done enough to convince him that he was no longer safe among them.

Aoba pondered, realizing how loud and fast his blood has been pumping through his veins. He needed to be calm about it. It was probably the fault of those ‘memories’ that Mink had explained to him about…

If they weren’t losing their minds about them, then they already did. But how could he tell for sure that it wasn’t himself who lost his own mind?

 _How can I tell that I am still sane?_ , he clenched his teeth while repeating this question inside his mind.

While he kept on thinking about it, he entered into what seemed to be a small bathroom and it somehow felt like the air was damp and warm. He didn’t expect the water to run, but he didn’t feel like going out to take care of his needs.

His flashlight encountered a mirror, but something wasn’t right about the mirror.

He couldn’t see his face in the mirror. Was the crystal hazy? It sure seemed like it… He had a bad feeling about it, but Aoba approached it anyways and placed his hand on the wet surface of the mirror, sweeping the haze.

But he didn’t find his own face in there. He jumped in fright and his heart raced within his chest as he saw someone else’s eyes staring back at him.

Letting out a shaky sigh, after blinking twice he suddenly realized that he was looking just at his reflection all along. His own sickly pale face with brown soil sprinkled at the contours of his features, the unkempt dirty locks of hair sticking on his oily skin… but somehow his eyes looked darker. He didn’t really notice it before. Why was that? Was that the reason why he didn’t recognize his own face in the beginning?

He took a closer look at his reflection with the help of the dim light. It’s been days since he last looked at himself so closely, and now… he couldn’t help but to feel alien to the body he had. He could barely recognize himself… how did he change so much in just a few days?

“I haven’t really changed that much, have I? I am myself. I _am_ Aoba. Nothing has changed that.” he murmured to himself.

After finishing his needs, a sudden surge of nausea overcame him, something hot and thick rising up from his stomach and his throat. He attempted to swallow it back but it came out of him too violently, he didn’t even get to throw up all of it inside the toilet bowl…

There was a burning sensation in his throat, he couldn’t stop vomiting and he didn’t know what it was, because he left his flashlight on the bathroom’s sink, but the disgusting thick substance forcing its way out of him kept on pouring out like a fountain. He didn’t even eat that much before he left. He coughed violently while, trying to get all of it out as quick as possible, and he was so overcome by this that his nose started to leak, as well tears streamed down his face.

It became hard to breath, but after a while, it finally stopped.

Aoba felt so drained, kneeling over the toilet seat and smelling the nasty putrid substance he just puked. He had to clean his face of the residuals, the snot, the tears and the sweat with only with the end of his shirt, and then drank some water from the bottle in his bag. He took himself a couple of minutes to recover from this.

He was pretty sure he made a mess and they could have heard him from the living room… which made him wonder why didn’t they come up to him. They should’ve been worried after all the noise he made, especially Clear.

When he took his flashlight, he briefly looked at the toilet. He immediately regretted it as he watched the bowl brimming with a black gooey soup, it could even be dark red. Also, the stench was horrible, inexplicably resembling that of a rotten meat. 

He stormed out of the bathroom, disturbed by the sight. There’s no way he could have barfed all of that! His mind was definitely playing tricks on him!

_Or perhaps…?_

Warily he headed back to the main room of the house, but he only had his own flashlight to guide his steps. Have they turned off their lights?

It was dark, but he could feel the cool running through the house’s floor, as if a window was opened, even though Aoba knew perfectly well that no breeze could enter Platinum Jail to cause such a thing. It was so alarmingly quiet all of sudden.

He heard a creaking sound tremble under his feet, the wooden floor, and his anxious heart started to betray him.

He was alone and his light searched for proof to counter that. An empty room, black steel skeletons piled one over the other, where the Alphas used to lie. The atmosphere has changed, and he felt like he was being observed from every dark corner.

His entire body was shivering, making the light in his hands move too much. He was feeling cold, so cold…  “Not this again, please…”

Aoba ran through the house. It had barely changed, but somehow it looked older, as if the building suffered from years of abandonment, walls gone brown and nasty on the corners… but the same dusty scent remained… He didn’t find Clear or Mink anywhere, even called out for them. They couldn’t have abandoned him out of the blue. Even if they were in trouble, they wouldn’t have hesitated to let him know. He checked through the whole house in a rush, but after clearing out every door, he met with the dreary realization that he was all alone now.

Stepping outside the building, he looked around with his flashlight, detecting the new cracks on the pavement of the street, but he could also see the strange dance of the dust particles on the air. It was too cold, almost like a being inside a freezer, and though any signs of air blowing were faint, Aoba could swear that he was hearing a soft breeze moving the dust. It was in fact an uncanny kind of breeze. It was like coming inwards and then pushing outwards one direction… could that direction be… Oval Tower?

This breeze… it felt like a giant's gentle breathing.

Before knowing it, he has been dragged again into the dark world, and now he was all alone. Clear and Mink were gone. Whether this was a good or a bad thing, he knew that he couldn’t stay in here.

It was cold and lonely, and now he needed to hurry to Oval Tower as soon as possible.

****

“The factory of Alphas is east Oval Tower, we need to go in there first—”

Clear shook his head frantically. “No, I don’t want to! I don’t need any spares from them — _those things_!”

The older man sighed, unwilling to accept an argument when he was so physically and mentally exhausted. “Be grateful that your body can recover from such a loss easily. Even if one limb less doesn’t make you useless, don’t allow that chance to slip away. Don’t be stupid.”

“… I understand.” Clear turned his head, pouting lightly like a reprimanded child, and he stared back at Aoba, naturally expecting him to be asleep

So he stared at whoever was sitting on the couch awake, and it was staring at them with glassy blank eyes.

 _That_ wasn’t Aoba.

What was that thing?

It started to creep towards them, moving its long numerous limbs.

****

The last few days had taught him to expect all nightmares to lurk within the darkest corners of every path he could walk, however, no matter how scared he felt at the moment he realized he was alone, as he kept on walking towards the north —where Oval Tower was supposed to be—he was left only with a faint sense of uncertainty, fear had adjusted him to this environment.

He didn’t want to grow used to this. He wanted this to end as soon as possible and return safely to his grandma and live a normal life afterwards.

The closer he got to the Tower at the center of the Platinum Jail, the louder his steps echoed beneath him, and the less he cared whether monsters or his own friends would come after him. the path was made of thick glass that was supposed to gleam with neon lights, he knew that the large avenue he was crossing was leading him straight to the eerie tower hidden in layers or darkness he was yet to cross.

If he didn’t feel already wary of his own luck, Aoba would surely have felt tenser when his ears detected the noise of tiny light steps dashing on the other side of the block he was currently crossing. His light couldn’t catch it, from the corner of his eye he only saw a fast black shade moving on four legs as it sprinted far from him fast, like a scared animal… but he knew this couldn’t have been an animal, or an Allmate for all that mattered...

When he arrived to the center, his light already identified the white decaying paint of the supportive structures that extended upwards and beyond the dark nebula  impairing the power of his flashlight. He walked around the enormous building, finding out that where glass doors once were, they were all completely sealed by steel gates. He recalled Takatsuki’s journal describing that for some reason she and other survivors couldn’t leave the tower, but before he could check that information again, Aoba realized that the notebook wasn’t inside his bag anymore; the last person who touched that journal was Clear; he must’ve lost it back there in the Glitter house.

He knew this was the front of the tower, as he’s seen pictures of it before but… he’s been here before. He couldn’t try to deny it, that this was the place in which he was captured many months ago, and although he couldn’t recall most of it, he was feeling strangely alien to the fact that he was standing once again in the same place.

After observing the place for some seconds, he gave started to regain some sense of direction triggered by extremely vague memories. He didn’t enter this way.

Until then, he walked and walked, consumed by silence and darkness, the lack of movement and the cold only became more and more unsettling, but he knew that he wasn’t going blind or deaf thanks to the yellowish bulb of his flashlight and the sound of his steps and his gasps.

He found trees, artificial trees sprouting out of the ground close to what seemed to be a more discreet entrance to the facility. It was far off the main gates, he could tell that the size of the whole tower was preposterous and questionable. Aoba thought it made sense that Toue had to brainwash people constantly to avoid persecution, because it was impossible to ignore such a suspicious tower for too long.

But Toue had no power anymore… did he? If all of this was his doing, Aoba knew that there was only one way to figure it out. If what Clear said was true and Toue was still alive on the top of this tower, then he could probably go up there… but what answers could that man even offer? Aoba could only fret over the thought of facing him. So many possibilities, so many things could happen. Should he be prepared to murder that man in case it was necessary?

Finally, his light found something at one of the doors… it stood out rather strikingly, a figure of white clothes and black hair sitting still against one door of steel that was breached and blackened, as if a powerful explosion tore its way through it. There were some characters painted over the gate where the white shape remained:

_2106 CR-L_

But whether he could recognize the entrance of not, it didn’t matter to him anymore. His heart was beating fast with anger… or was it just heartache? The black-haired head of the white figure moved, revealing the deathly pale face that he met not long ago. Seeing that face made Aoba feel a new kind of sadness and discomfiture.

The other’s dry white lips moved  with a silent gasp when their eyes met with his in modest surprise.

“Blank.” Aoba whispered, his voice had gone dry and low. “How did you get in here?” Also, for how long did they wait in front of that door? It was cold in here.

“I said that we’d meet again inside Platinum Jail. I figured I’d have to wait for you right here.”

As the white character carefully got back up from their sitting position, Aoba couldn’t stop staring with disbelief at Blank’s right hand. Before even thinking about it, he had gripped and yanked the long-sleeved sweater, pulling it up to check on the wrist. But strangely enough, Blank didn’t react negatively at the abrupt action. “Aoba…? What’s wrong?”

Being this close, he realized that Blank didn’t look too tall… also, the choker of around their neck looked different for some reason (it used to have a bird skull if he recalled correctly, but this animal didn’t seem to have a beak). Aoba felt his stomach was twisting inside him as he analyzed the sickly-looking skin on the right wrist. There was no dog bite, no bandage, he roughly touched the skin of Blank’s wrist, as if his mind couldn’t process the fact that it wasn’t there anymore. Aoba bit down his own lip, not daring to stare back at Blank’s dark eyes.

His eyes analyzed more carefully. Blank’s skin wasn’t untainted at all. No. There were very small marks on their forearm. They were so tiny, probably from needles.

Despite everything, Blank was patient and quiet, they’d let Aoba do whatever he wanted until he was satisfied with his search, clearly indifferent from Aoba’s inner turmoil. Then… he looked at Blank’s left wrist.

Leaving the right arm alone and picking up the thin fingers of the left hand, he pulled the sleeve up and found a very familiar-looking bright blue watch strap. Aoba scowled, feeling how his own arms started to tremble. “This my Coil. What are you doing with this? The only person I allowed to have this is—”

His gaze met Blank’s black eyes once more. This time, Blank’s eyes refused to meet his, staring down.

“Blank, who—or _what_ are you?” the young man uttered, unable to hide his wariness. He knew he had the right to feel this way. This Blank wasn’t the same Blank that he met the first time… he knew now for a fact that Blank couldn’t be a human… at least not a regular human. Blank was probably aware that he knew already.

But nobody would address this. They couldn’t. Speaking of it would only make it more painful. Even now, Blank was doing something no regular human should be able to do.

Very gently, Blank’s skinny hands enveloped Aoba’s shaky fingers, as if trying to reassure him that no harm would come upon him… but it didn’t work.

He felt a void inside his chest, the trust that would never be given again and suddenly his own breathe started to weaken as his knees dropped when his hands pushed Blank away from him.

But not completely broken down, he managed to furiously cry: “Why did you bring me here? What do you want from me?”

“I told you already: I want you to help me save my brother.”

That what Blank responded, their stare wasn’t empty of emotion… as a matter of fact, they seemed more demanding. Aoba couldn’t tell if Blank’s words were true anymore. “I don’t understand what’s going on. Are you going to hurt me?” He responded furrowing his face.

He felt afraid of Blank, what would they do, where would they go, what new things would they make him see. He was afraid, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to run away.

“I don’t want to hurt you… but I will if I have to.” They sounded sincere; there was pain in their expression as they spoke. “But I want to trust that you will be able to do the right thing when it comes to it; this small hope is all I have left to save the person I love the most… Isn’t there someone you want to save as well, _Aoba_?”

“I… I…” words were faltering, he felt his throat dried up. It was clear now, Blank intended to use him as a sacrificial lamb in case it was necessary. But Blank was holder of such a pure righteousness to justify such means... Besides, there _was_ a person whom he wanted to…

 _No_.

This wasn’t right.

Why did he need to get hurt for Blank’s gain?

This wasn’t what Aoba wanted.

“I know it… ” Blank blurted out, making the blue-haired man flinch, staring in disbelief at the ghostly person. “I know everything. I know you’ve forgotten a lot of things and it’s not easy for you to accept the things that happened. I don’t understand much of it yet, but I know it must have been very painful.” For one second, Blank’s thin white lips tightened and then spoke again. “That’s why I’m going to show you, because I know that telling you won’t suffice.”

Aoba was about to say something but he was interrupted by the sharp clatter of heavy steel crashing down to what probably was a glass surface, he could swear it resembled a roar, and it didn’t sound too far from where they stood. It was enough commotion to make the young man get startled back to his feet. His flashlight flickered slightly for one second.

Blank then urged him to come into the dark gash of the steel door.

“Follow me.” Blank demanded, a bit of emotion breaking through their soft voice. “Quickly, before it’s too late.”

 _Too late for what?_ , but before he could question that demand, he started to hear rattling approaching fast to where they were. Besides, it was impossibly dark and dense; anything could be coming to attack him.

Instinctive fear kicked in fast and he mindlessly ran into the fissure of black staining the cold door, almost simultaneously as his light went off.

 _Fuck_. Wheezing, he knocked at his flashlight, unable to see anything, not even Blank. He could tell he made it inside the door, and he had walked enough distance to make sure he was out of reach from whatever came sprinting towards him from the outside. But with absolute darkness swallowing him, he could not tell for sure.

The light blinked weakly twice, he was too busy trying to keep it alive to notice his surroundings. “Blank?” he called, struggling with his fear and helplessness, the unknown source of the groaning sounds coming from behind and his own raspy breathing noises prevented him from hearing response from the only company he had. Blank wasn’t answering and Aoba couldn’t even tell if they were even there!

Blindly he tried to reach to a wall, and he sat against it while he searched into his bag once more. He should have brought batteries in case this shit could happen.

It was cold and dark, he felt helpless and on his limits. He could listen to a faint scratching and moaning sound running all over the floor he couldn’t see, as if a heavy body was crawling close to him. He wanted whatever it was to be just as blind as him.

His back and bottom felt cold… even wet. Did he sit on a puddle or something? It was so cold and he couldn’t stop shaking while trying to find the batteries for the flashlight. He bit the insides of his cheek to keep himself from chattering his teeth and hold his uneven noisy breath.

Thanks to his own measures to keep silence, he was able to tell that the strange sounds around him stopped; it was only him, the darkness and the almost unperceivable gentle air sliding in and out of his nostrils with each controlled breath.

Finally, he managed to replace the depleted batteries, and his own shaky fingers pressed again the switch to turn on the light.

There was blue and red. There was only part of a face. There was were unfocused dead eyes that somehow stared back to him the moment he started to scream.

A drooling bleeding face contorted by pain had nearly half of it completely torn apart, as if viciously crushed by a bear trap, the red outcome resembling a smashed watermelon; they groaned feebly at him as their head twitched as if only a thread held it in place to their broken body… Their brown dilated eyes didn't respond to light, they held a permanent expression of agony and horror, yet they only looked at him. _Only at him_.

He cried for a while as he quickly crawled away from it, almost dropping the flashlight in the rush, not thinking anything at all, just obeying the primitive instinct to get away from it as fast as possible.

The floor was slippery, he ran across a very long and wide corridor, yet he couldn’t know if his only guide was still in this place, not like he was capable of thinking of it, having burned that gory image inside his mind from so close…

He stopped, feeling like he made it far enough from it… his sight was blurred by tears while he wheezed for air.

What he saw back there wasn’t a monster.

He whimpered pathetically, completely terrified, feeling the bile rising up his throat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so from now and on I'm gonna update this at least twice a month.


	23. Airy Safety

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Half of this chapter is kind of filler or... IS IT? Anyways, the presence of OCs is heavy in this chapter, and I'm writing a lot of things already covered by the game, so, please bear with me.
> 
> Anyways, thank you again for reading/leaving kudos/writing a comment, because all of it means a lot to me (specially if you do the third last thing!)

He still remembered the beach. Not from the several times that he came to survey this grim dead place in past few weeks to see ships sail away to the unknown safety, but rather the beach he used to know when he was still a kid, a teenager, a young adult. It was always warm and fun to hang out at, even when Midorijima’s borders were strictly patrolled, people were allowed to visit the beach; the sun, the warm sand, the salty air, the songs of the sea… he recalled all of it fondly, but now more strongly than ever, because the beach we once knew was now a cold grey scenery that held no resemblance to what it used to be. He’d never see the beach back to its original state, and he was okay with it.

He felt strangely okay with a lot of things lately. As he began to accept that the world was the way it was, he found a small relief even at the weight of the world on his shoulders. Maybe Koujaku could have done the same… or maybe not. Mizuki knew that his friend had many other things that weighed on him.

He sighed wistfully, knowing that he and his friend they were just birds of a feather. Both owed their breakdown to only one person.

After the third trip from the Western District to the coast, they managed to bring Koujaku unharmed on his stretcher to the abandoned pier they had occupied. One guy from Scratch had seemingly made an old van model to work, thus making transportation much easier for people. When Mizuki approached the driver and asked about it, he said that their leader made them work on it and the ships for days. Of course, Mink was also gone, but they all seemed strangely motivated without him. Well, such a man wouldn’t abandon his own men unprepared…

Mizuki always knew that Koujaku had his own bias against Mink, but despite everything, it seemed like they actually had a chance of escaping thanks to him.

With the third trip, the pier was already crowded with 26 people including the seven Ribsters who volunteered to keep watch on the place. It was starting to look lively despite the dark grey seas expanding endlessly beneath the fog. Most of people they brought first were both the elders and children, although Tae decided to stay behind for a while longer. She wanted to be there to see her grandson come back.

Vaguely, Mizuki wondered if he should have stopped that guy from going into the Platinum Jail. He had a chance to stop him right before he left, but what would’ve changed if he did?

He and another couple of men from Scratch were preparing to go back in the van for a fourth trip. It’d be the last they’d take before nighttime… However, Mizuki took some time to examine the storages built by the landing place upon the coast. People would be sleeping in them tonight, and Koujaku was already inside one of them… He observed Michiko coming out from one of them, putting back on her hoodie, nodding at him in search of his attention.

“Oi, Mizuki.” She spoke out, severe as ever. “He is awake. You might want to be there for him.”

Well, those were actually good news. Her thumb was signaling back at the storage’s door, and he didn’t waste time to sprint to the entrance, but he stopped one moment to look back at her comrade.

“Aren’t you going back into the city to bring the others?”

She squinted through her spectacles, twisting her lips. “… Katou’s going to take my place. I’m staying here to keep watch.”

Mizuki felt a small relief, knowing that it was probably her brother who convinced her to stay. For a long time, he couldn’t look at her in the eye, and she’d probably never forgive Mizuki completely for letting Dry Juice die. The only reason why she stayed with his group was because she wanted to be with her brother, otherwise, she’d have chosen to be on Mink’s group despite her disliking of that man, just like the few surviving members of Dry Juice did.

But the fact that she was able to talk to him with a cool head was somehow meaningful to him. Michiko had only been part of Dry Juice for one year when he gave up to Morphine… he ruined this young woman’s life, but she pulled herself through and survived for her own sake.

Perhaps, this is what _moving on_ truly looked like.

“Thank you, Chiko.”

“Please don’t start.” She frowned, somewhat upset by hearing a nickname nobody has used for months; then she continued to talk in serious tone. “This is only me, but I think that those guys from Scratch were carrying explosives when they headed back to the Western District. What’s up with that? Are they planning to blow up something?”

He furrowed his brow, remembering long-lost rumors about Scratch blowing up buildings. “… I’ll get to it later. Can you investigate that while I’m with Koujaku?”

The girl shook her shoulders nonchalantly. “You don’t even need to tell me.”

Inside the storage, there were a few other civilians; most of the injured have been transported here first, although after Koujaku, the only ones with the worst injuries were just a pale-looking woman with a twisted ankle and then a boy who seemed to suffer from an infection on his left eye.

The smell of soap and analgesics was pretty strong in the air, but it wasn’t so bad.

The nurse Hana seemed to finish checking the man in the stretcher, and she nodded at Mizuki.

“He shouldn’t be awake yet. I told him to take it easy for now, but he’s very tense. He needs a friend to stay by his side.” She whispered softly as her tired gaze fell down a little.

“I’ll take care of that, Hana, thanks a lot.” Mizuki made an effort to smile, but the tired nurse brushed it off, approaching the other injured. As the burgundy-haired man found a chair to sit himself beside his old friend, he struggled to notice the man’s eyes were barely open, his once long and handsome face was now in a pitiful state, and somehow the bandages applied around his head made the swelling of his face stand out more. He could see a small shine of life inside the almost closed eyelids of his dark eyes, the only sign Mizuki could take to know Koujaku was indeed conscious. “You can relax, I’ve been doing my best to keep things working. Tae will come to see you as soon as she finishes her job, alright?”

Koujaku’s tremulous mouth was moving weakly, trying to form words out of the feeble sounds his throat could enounce. Mizuki leaned closer to hear that shivery uneven voice.

“… Where’s… w-where’s Aoba?”

Mizuki picked his answer quickly. “He’s fine. He was exhausted by the time they brought you back, so he’s resting right now.”

There was a small sound, pathetic like a dying kitten. It was disconcerting that Koujaku was capable of doing that. “N-no… Mizuk-ki… Y-you don’t get it-t…” The man was struggling, as if trying to move his head at least.

“Oi, I told you to take it easy. Don’t push yourself too hard, or you’re gonna make it worse for your back.”

“… Y-you don’t underst-a-and…” It almost sounded as if it was terribly painful for him to raise his voice. His pale face was twitching. “We…-still d-don’t know where is-s Aoba.”

“What are you talking about? You took him out of Platinum Jail. You saved his life before this madness even started.” It was already too late, Mizuki made it obvious how much it distressed him to hear these words. He should be hoping that Koujaku was merely being delusional, but he was trying so hard…

“It… was only M-mink and I… b-but when we arrived t-there was… b-b-blood everywhere… t-the blood…”

“Calm down. You already told me what happened…” He actually had to stop and remember their story, that hideous story that became root of his well-grounded fears towards Aoba. There’s no way he could ever forget about that, but right now he couldn’t risk his friend’s health by making him worry even more. “Aoba is fine. Everything will be fine and we’ll get you to a real hospital soon. Please, just rest for now, okay?”

Koujaku said nothing, but his eyes were anything but calm and words wouldn’t do to change this. But this… _Aoba_ was now away, unable to harm him more than what was already done. He lingered beside the broken man in silence, awkwardly alien to the comfort he could provide by his company alone, albeit the thoughts that ran back to Koujaku’s testimony awakened old horrors he never dared to address.

But then, Michiko’s voice softly intruded by the door. “Mizuki, please come with me for a minute.”

“I’ll be right back.” Mizuki lightly touched the arm of his friend, nearly asleep, but he didn’t start feeling better when he analyzed the distressed expression on Michiko’s face. When he went out and closed the door, he asked: “What’s wrong? Did you find out anything?”

“No. But that’s not what I wanted to talk you about. Noiz ran away.”

As simple as that, she dropped the bomb. This couldn’t be right. He was among the first people they transported to the coast. Not only that, but she literally said that the guy ran away, which shouldn’t be possible due his condition.

“Why didn’t anyone try to stop him?” he grunted, trying to look at the armed men who were guarding the pier.

“I asked for the same, but they couldn’t keep track of him. The fog has made it impossible.”

“First Aoba with Clear… and _now him_? What’s going on?” Mizuki muttered, rubbing his face in frustration. They couldn’t afford losing more important people in this situation… the wisest choice was to wait and see.

“… Everyone wants to leave tomorrow morning. What will happen if we can’t convince people to wait for them if they don’t return?” Michiko asked.

“Tae won't allow this to happen. But I don’t know for how long can she make them hold. She can be awfully reasonable even when it hurts.”

****

He finished vomiting, he had nothing else left inside, and his throat was burning for the acid that ravaged through. Aoba took deep breaths, clumsily walking by the walls of the enormous corridors. He truly had no idea where to go, and there was still no sign of Blank sitting anywhere around… besides, the mix of foul scents were the main indicative that he wasn’t safe in here. Anything could be crawling behind his ankles for all he knew.

He couldn’t dare flashing his light past the trail he ran moments ago, he didn’t think he could retain his sanity if he looked back again at that grotesque image of death. He just couldn’t.

Moving forward, Aoba noticed an open door of what seemed to be one of the many elevators built for this corridor. He hesitated, noticing another dark lump of flesh lying nearby its entrance. When his light touched the body, he knew right away it wasn’t the same thing he had feared. It was a torso of a man, the tattered clothes concealed whatever wounds may have ended his life. The horrible scent was highly concentrated on that cadaver, that has been rotting for days or maybe weeks… he didn’t try to inspect it any longer, but he entered the elevator with the last of bravery he could squeeze out of his own beating heart.

This was a terrible idea, but then again, this path of his has been carved through terrible ideas, besides he was desperate to leave this floor as soon as possible, even though the possibility of meeting someplace worse was always at hand. It wasn’t the moment to back down.

When he stood inside the ample cabin of the elevator, he noticed that the control pad had all the numbered floors blurred except the button for the thirtieth floor, which seemed untouched by the dissoluted paint. Instinct or not, he ended up pressing that button and the doors closed loudly in front of him, making the platform tremble with an old painful groan before lifting him up.

Then he realized that the elevator had a large glass window behind, which was supposed to let passengers take in the marvelous sight of the city, however, darkness had paved everything in and out of this place, so it was actually pretty pointless to stare at the window. And it felt strange, having ascended ten stories the irritating noise of the elevator stopped scratching the inside of his ears. He didn’t know if this should make him nervous or not.

The doors opened and he suddenly stepped out of it as if he was in a hurry… but he stopped. This feeling was familiar. It was like a _Déjà_ Vu. He went through a huge room with a crystal ceiling and beautiful chandeliers hanging high above, eerily untouched. So far, the only place he had seen tainted in the tower was the first floor and the elevator…

A blackened canine moved in the shadows, it didn’t escape Aoba’s flashlight this time. His heart only quivered for a second, but was suddenly met with a strange relief despite the quick flash of yellow light reflected to the human-looking eyes of the beast. He’s seen this dog monster so many times that he just didn’t feel so scared anymore, at least not in the way in which he'd fear for his life.

But there was something big and brown hanging from the monstrous maw of the dog-like creature, and it looked like meat with hair and cloth, but this was only a brief glance, as the beast turned its face away from Aoba’s light almost right away. It didn’t walk away though. Aoba stepped back a little without realizing, trembling words came out as he did:

“… I don’t suppose you’ve been only following me this time around, right? I guess it doesn’t matter. You do whatever you want.” He knew it understood his words, as it started to walk away when Aoba finished. “Where are you going?”

And so, he went after the ‘dog’, growing uneasy while his flashlight could only illuminate the long black legs and the bloody trail they left behind; it truly was carrying something dead with its terrible mouth, but why? And to where was it taking him now?

It guided him across the whole story until it found the stairs that went up, and Aoba followed in silence as they went up for almost five levels, not having time to admire the exquisite architecture of the stairs or the windows. Then it went through a new different door, and this looked noticeably different, as its rough texture contrasted the smooth white of the stairs and the walls.

The new halls were extremely different, their appearance held some reminiscence to the prison ward he visited just some hours ago with Mink… But the walls and ceiling were cleaner, the air was unsettlingly thicker, and there was some sort of unheard buzz filled its long corridors, lightly pinching the inside of his eardrums like very thin needles; it wasn’t as painful as it was annoying.

The creature kept walking, and it seemed to pick up the pace, something Aoba couldn’t keep up with for too long. All he had was the faint trail of red left behind, but he could still listen the subtle clicking of its clawed paws walking ahead him…

When he turned to the left carelessly, his light found the ‘dog’ standing in front of a door, as if it sniffed something on its other side, but when Aoba went to see what was it about, the beast ran away along the huge slab of bloodied meat, however, Aoba didn’t go after it when he looked at the feet of the door that the ‘dog’ was inspecting.

“What’s this?” He crouched to take what seemed to be an ID card… it was actually some sort of damaged keycard. But suddenly, a blunt noise shook on the surface of the door, making Aoba lose balance and fall on his bottom.

He heard a click behind that door, but it seemed tightly shit.

A dry and panicked questioning voice resonated through the thick barrier, and Aoba had never heard that female voice before. It called again:

“Who’s there? Get away from the door! I’ve got a gun!” the person —or whatever it could be— certainly heard him think aloud, and probably awaited for an answer. He didn’t know what else to think of this but to consider someone, another living person, was right there, just a door away from him.

“Don’t shoot. I’m not a monster…” he gasped, feeling slightly stupid once he realized he lifted his hands on the air. Anyways, even if she had a gun, she couldn’t know where to shoot if the door was on the way.

They were silent for some seconds, Aoba got back on his feet slowly.

“… _Who_ is this?” the female voice asked again, her words were different, careful. She wasn’t trying to shield herself from monsters only, he thought.

“My name is… Ren, and I think I’m lost…” Aoba said mindlessly, placing his bruised hand against the door’s cold surface. He knew that his name should be known if he was imprisoned here, but he should have picked a better fake name to begin with. “It's just that this place if huge and, _you know_.”

“… Can’t blame you, the maps of this tower are useless.” she answered with spite in her tune.

“I haven’t even searched for any. I made it this far on my own by sheer luck, I guess… Can you open the door? I’m not gonna hurt you.”

The female voice was quiet for some seconds, making the young man nervous. “You said that your name was _Ren_ , right? You sound like you’re very young… I’m sorry, but I can’t open this door for you, and I can’t really get out.”

“Why?”

“Because I can’t.” Her voice indicated that she was in pain, she was conflicted and weak. “… I’ve been trapped in here for days. I feel like I haven’t talked to another human for years. I'm so sorry if I'm asking too much, but could you please… just stay here for a minute? I’m sorry if I can’t open this door, but I really wish it wasn’t like this.”

Aoba sighed. “I need to go and find someone…”

“I understand. But please humor me for a minute. That’s all I’m asking.”

“I’ve got little time, it’s not that I want to abandon you here.” There was some true inside his words, but he wasn’t ready to accept whatever was hiding inside that room. “Anyways, how did you survive? Are you locked inside a supply room or something?”

“It’s actually just a research room, but I’ve gathered enough food to last for a month at least. I can’t open the door now. I’m too scared of what is out there that I simply can’t bring myself to unlock it.”

“I see.” He whispered as his shoulders stopped tensing. “But I’m here now.”

“It doesn’t mean it’s safe for me.” she replied, although didn’t sound disdainful.

Aoba grinned to himself, but he also felt annoyed at her contradictory behavior.

“I guess you’ve got a point. I can’t make you trust me that easily.” His breath slowed down, even thought he could hear a heartbeat just as calm as his own behind that door when he placed his forehead against the plain surface. The buzzing didn’t seem to reach him like this “… What is your name?” he asked.

Again, it took a long pause before the female voice came back at him.

“I’m Takatsuki Aoi…  I used to work here…”

Aoba frowned. He wasn’t surprised, not at all. After all, it could be just his own mind making him hear things, he could have built this illusion upon his perception of Takatsuki, as he had read her journal and last will. But he truly wouldn’t be surprised if it actually turned out to be her after all. There was no way that he could prove either.

He found himself incredibly calm after hearing her name, so he decided to play along, as he felt that he didn’t have anything lose.

“Okay then, but listen…” Aoba moistened his lips. “Do you know what happened to this place? What happened to Midorijima?”

“Wait, what do you mean? This hell has expanded to the rest of the island as well?” she raised her voice a little, sounded distressed.

He didn’t want to let her divert the conversation. “ _Please_ , I want to know.”

There was a shorter silence, but he heard some sort of small gasp coming from the inside of the room. If he remembered correctly, Takatsuki’s mother was still alive before she went into Platinum Jail and stayed there…

“Well… I’m probably forgetting a lot from what I’ve gathered.” she spoke after Aoba heard her cough weakly. “… For starters, the dark world that you’re seeing right now is the result of something that my co-workers used to refer to as _Scrap_.”

Suddenly, his blood started to pump faster.

“ _Scrap_?” he repeated, his mouth twitching, somehow his voice was very collected.

“Or _Exposure_ , however you wish to call it. It was used to trigger the mass mind-control experiment that began about ten months ago. Because of this, Toue was able to influence people’s minds however he pleased, and every small influence was linked to one power source, which is the machine modelled after the subject _Sei_ , who's the one who produced this phenomenon known as _Scrap_.” The female voice paused again, as a person trying to find the right words to say. “Originally, he could only expose and project via telepathy the psyche of a limited number of individuals within a controlled perimeter… And since the subject Sei was still just a human being the ratio of failure was always high. Some individuals ended up having their minds completely transformed, not as some sort of lunacy, just… transformed. However, us researchers never met the true extent of the powers of subject Sei, now it’s clear.”

Aoba tensed his face. “Is this person… _Sei_ , responsible for all of this?”

“I wouldn’t say that he’s entirely at fault. He could never have been able to achieve this madness on his own. Whatever he’s doing, it has gone far beyond what I ever thought possible. A co-worker of mine had dedicated the last couple of decades studying this subject for Toue. If I still had his documents with me, I believe you wouldn’t even need to hear me babbling about this right now. I haven’t worked in this place for years, if I should be honest with you.”

His fingers were trembling upon the door, no matter how hard he tried to keep himself composed. Perhaps, he needn’t Toue to figure his own secrets after all, he thought.

“What exactly is this _Scrap_ doing?” he resumed asking.

“… Sei's power is related to life, creation, preservation, union. _Scrap_ as it is transgresses the boundaries of an individual's mind, which naturally jeopardizes the sanity of said individual, although thanks to the properties of life and creation, the subject Sei could have made it possible to recreate what exists within the depths of human psyche our plane of reality… but as I said, I don't think Sei is the one doing this.” She took another pause, this time Aoba felt like the one needing it the most. “In my co-worker’s recordings, he theorized about an opposite power, the _Scrap_ related to death, destruction, change and separation… of course, Toue had tried  to recreate such ability for years, but as far as I know, it could never be at par with the Sei’s power. Surely, he may have contributed to this disaster, but he never had the power or intention to produce this world of death and destruction around us.”

“ _Death and destruction_ …” Aoba reiterated quietly, feeling a dull pain growing within his skull. “Takatsuki-san, do you know how to stop this?”

“No, no, it can’t be stopped. At least, there isn’t a way to do it yet. Even if Sei died, this dark world would still remain… No, killing him wouldn’t make things any better. This is a real-life curse, and curses don’t die like people do.” Her voice was becoming drier and warier. “This curse will eat us away as long as we remain here. On my side there’s already nothing left it can take away from me. The light of my life has been extinguished.”

He pressed his lips together, the pain in his head becoming a louder throbbing and his stomach shrinking as he felt sweat slip from the back of his neck… he has his thoughts scrambled violently inside, and he could only react to the sadness of this woman’s voice.

“I can help you out.” he said.

“… That’s sweet of you, but you shouldn't do that.” There was a trace of gentleness as she spoke. “I have sinned enough to deserve this end. I may not be directly at fault for this, but listen to me: during the days I worked in here, I’ve ruined so many lives. Even after I quit I managed to sleep without seeing their faces in my dreams. I managed to smother my regrets for years, but it took a catastrophe like this to bring them back to haunt me. I have done a lot of horrible things that I cannot fix.”

Aoba bit his lower lip. “Maybe you can. Maybe not. It can’t possibly be so terrible that it can’t be forgiven, right?”

“I don’t know… But certainly, I believe that there’s a difference between being forgiven and forgiving oneself.”

He held his breath without knowing, momentarily trying to pay attention to his surroundings, since he haven’t done that once he started to talk to the woman behind the door. He didn’t know where did the ‘dog’ go or if the corridors were safe at all, yet he stayed here, absorbed by the only presence he could call ‘human’ since he entered this tower. She continued speaking: “Tell me: could you forgive yourself, Ren?” He nearly flinched upon hearing that name, but he didn’t forget that he called himself like that.

He answered quickly. “I’d only be able forgive myself if I was first forgiven by those whom I’ve hurt.”

“… Whatever works for you. But by whom would you want to be forgiven?”

“I’m not sure anymore.”

“Have you come this far only to be forgiven? What would you do if you’re not?”

“I guess I’d have no other choice but to carry on. I’d still do what I came to do.”

“That’s fine. But let me tell you a piece of advice if you’re open.”

“Okay?”

“If you suddenly realize you’ve been doing something wrong, _you have to stop_. Don’t trust your gut, just do the right thing, even if it’s the thing that hurts the most.”

It wasn’t the most heartfelt counseling, her voice was even harsher than her words, but… she must have a good reason to say that. “Thank you, I’ll take that in mind.” He exhaled, realizing his fingers still held the ID card he found on the floor. He guessed he would open the door with it, but when he tried, it just didn’t work. “I’m leaving now.”

“Alright, just be careful.”

But he didn’t move yet. “… Takatsuki-san: I know that what you did was wrong and I know you cannot forgive yourself, but you truly aren’t a bad person.”

“Is that so?… Would it help at all if I said the same thing about you?”

“I think it does.” He twisted his lips when he tried to understand what she meant by that. “I’ll return.”

“One more thing”

“Yeah?”

“You needn’t lie to me. I know exactly who you are… Do what’s best for them and give Seragaki Tae her grandson back in one piece.”

_So she knew…_

“That’s what I want.” He replied, but when he moved deeper into the corridor, he felt more clueless than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, because lately it takes me along while to write, rewrite and edit each chapter, I'll update at least once every two weeks. That should work for the best.  
> Oh, and I forgot to mention this since forever, but silent midorijima does have a tumblr tag, in case you wanted to know. Not that it's particularly important, but now you know!


	24. Dead Ends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for late chapter! Planning has kept me inside the writer block's hell. I hope this chapter makes up for the wait! I watched Jacob's Ladder for some inspiration (trivia: JL also inspired the silent hill games). Well, you should probably watch Jacob's Ladder instead of reading my stuff, if I should be honest!
> 
> Also... remember those warnings about disturbing sexual content? Yeah, I guess this is the one chapter that should promote this fanfic into the Explicit rating. I don't want you to think this is a good thing though!

He must’ve traveled at least two more stories of the building after speaking to the woman who locked herself in that room. The extension of the tower’s perimeters was somewhat impressive, even with the tenebrous atmosphere infecting every wall and door, Aoba could see that; however, the design was pretty minimalist overall. It probably helped to make it seem more desolated, almost ominous.

Aside the soft constant humming he heard some light steps coming nearby, making him jump from time to time but he immediately associated those sounds with the ‘dog’, that should be lurking close to him. It was probably fine to let it be.

It was dark, almost as dark as outside, but he could feel some sort of atmosphere building up as he kept on walking around the corridors, inspecting doors. He used the found ID on almost each door, and effectively, they made a soft beeping indicating that they should've been opened, however, most of them turned out to be stuck. Looking up closely at their corners, we could see a black icky substance oozing from the border of their insides. He still couldn’t tell what was that aside being the main reason why he couldn’t enter in those doors. It also smelled like dead animals… just like that time back in the _Glitter_ house.

He managed to open one door after five tries, but he immediately regretted it when he saw that it led inside a very long and cold room, her could even see his own breath in front of him. But the walls seemed to have several large iron drawers, but he knew right away what they truly were, and why was this room so cold. Those were refrigerators, and this was a morgue.

It was worth dreading to think of the reasons why Oval Tower needed a morgue in the first place. He could also see a couple of examining tables in front of the refrigerators… it was strange, because the lights were out, but these seemed to work just fine, as the elevator and some of the doors as well. Aoba didn’t feel like investigating this place, but before turning around, he heard another noise come from the cold chamber, and found out one of the drawers have been opened and the table slid out. He suddenly felt sick in the stomach; he didn’t need to use his flashlight to know a body would be on that cursed drawer.

However, he have known for a while that this dark world possessed some sort of dark sentience, and whatever triggered this motion surely wanted Aoba’s attention. He didn’t want to take a look; what if the same terrifying body that he watched before was in there too? It wasn’t such a crazy assumption after all the things that he’s been going through lately.

But something inside him pulled Aoba to take that risk and see for himself the body that should be resting on the open fridge. It was so cold, he couldn’t help his shoulders to shiver at the cool air blowing around him. The drawer was just at the height above his waist, so he could see perfectly well what was on it. There was a white cloth covering some lumps that clearly resembled a human torso and a head… _not separated from each other_ , he could tell. And there weren’t any kind of red stains over it, so he wanted to think it wasn’t in a gruesome state, or at least all of their blood was already dry.

Now what? Should he examine the body? _No way_. He hadn’t a real reason to do it, yet something pulled him to see what it was about. He should have just turned back—

… There was something on the body’s side, it shone brightly with the light of his flashlight. It was bright orange and small…

… _A candy-wrapper?_ _Oh, it seemed that it still had a candy inside._

Strangely, instead of creeped out, he felt curiosity about this finding. He reached out for it, but other paler smaller fingers took it first. He gasped, feeling his heart beat violently against his ribcage.

They came from below, they had been down in front of his knees all along… his own blood froze at the thought, but didn’t give him time to think when whatever hid beneath the corpse’s table started to run away and out of the cold chamber. His light promptly allowed him to catch a glimpse of them.

It was again the white and red childish figure he saw when he entered Platinum Jail. Aoba remained still for several seconds. He didn’t dare to go after it. If ghost children terrified him in movies, ghost children in real life were the bane of his existence.

For a moment, he looked back at the drawer where the unknown body was… it seemed like the commotion moved the cloth a little. It didn’t fall off, but now he could see a portion of the person’s hair color… he squinted at finding out it was a very pale color. Blond hair.

It’s not like he felt like looking at the face of the deceased person, but somehow, the drawer of the fridge was violently shut, surprising him so much that he failed to move his hands in time. A splitting pain seized his fingers and he screamed out in shock, seeing that the same small child hand was the one that forcefully pushed the drawer back inside.

His fingers throbbed like hell, he cried as he yanked them out of the closed drawer, but his flashlight got caught inside of it. Despite everything, he managed to briefly take a look at the malicious child-like figure that did that to him. He saw a head covered in dirty red, and again, facial features were impossible to figure out.

He heard a quiet impish chuckle as the darkness disguised their escape again. More than just pissed off, Aoba felt toyed with. He opened the drawer again, realizing how heavy it actually was. The flashlight was still in there, but he hesitated to pick it up as he coldly realized that the cloth that covered the body has changed radically and all the head area was stained in  mushy brown and red absorbed by the white of the cloth… but when he took the flashlight, and realized there was something else painted below the head area.

Those were words, written sloppily in the very same red, as if painted with a wet finger:

_I WANTED TO PLAY SOME MORE_

Aoba backed away immediately and trying hard to not breathe too loudly, to not trip as he almost ran backwards. He corrected his pace, as he didn’t wish to find that kid anytime soon. He had enough monstrosities stalking him already. He stepped out of the morgue and closed the door, _just to make sure_.

For some seconds, he couldn’t stop the chills scratching his shoulders, feeling deeply frustrated for not getting used to this. Also, now the buzzing sound on the air started to drill within his head, a terrible headache was in order. He moved his fingers slowly, relieved that somehow he didn’t break any; they were still sore and it hurt to clench his fist.

He moved his light around the corridor again, trying so hard to not let the consistent low humming to not bother him, but amidst his distress he found on the floor the bloody trail again…  

Perhaps the ‘dog’ was closer? He could never know when he could gain something else by following it, although the fact that it still carried that slab of meat and hair around was unsettling; the blood was fresh…

It guided him to a new door he could open which it turned out to be a tighter corridor, but it had been a terrible mistake to trust the trail of blood from the start, as the light found the distinct figures of four male bodies standing on both sides of the passageway. He nearly screamed, having his poor heart beating as loud he could barely hear the faint squelching noises that came from the end of the way.

But those men — _things_ —… They didn’t have any discernible features aside their grey almost-blue skin and hairless nude bodies, they all remained on their feet, heads twitching violently from one side to another with an impossible speed; they didn’t make any sound though. They also didn’t seem to notice Aoba at all, even though his flashlight had touched them. Maybe he could walk among them without trouble?

He started noticing with detail the wet sounds that came from the dark end of the corridor, and something seemed very odd about them… it wasn’t like the sound of a boot walking on fresh mud, or the sound of crushing a cockroach. It was constant, repetitive … It was like a very fast beating.

_He didn’t like it._

He reached into his bag to pull out his crowbar again, but he did it in front of one of those male figures that kept on twitching their heads like a quake. He couldn’t help but to feel that they were all actually watching him. They could be alive and they could not be, but one way or another, he felt threatened by their presence alone. He even felt tempted to strike one of them with the crowbar and beat it to the ground… but he didn’t. He couldn’t.

At the end of the path he found another room. It was wider, darker, somehow… warmer, but a suffocating moist kind of warmth, and the smell was rotten and metallic, but also… there was some sort of saltiness that was making his heart pump faster and his stomach feel heavier, like an uncomfortable pressure building up on his loins.

When his light found the wall at the end of the room, he found very large characters written in messy black paint; he felt as if the message was screaming at him.

_WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY _WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY_  
_

__WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY _WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY__ _

____WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY _WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY__ _ _ _

______WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY _WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY______  ̛̀͘Ẁ̴H͠Y̕̕͡͞ ̷͠͝W͏͜҉͝H̀͝͏̴Y͘͏̨́͘ ͘͢W̶̷͡H̷̕Y҉͜ ̸͡҉͞W҉H̨̀͢Ý̕҉̕ ̨͢҉_

_W̶̶͘͝͡H́͜҉Y̶̸̵ ̷W̶̸H̴̨̡Y̴̨͘ ̸̷̛͝W͏͟͏҉H҉͡҉Ỳ̸̶̡ ̀̀͝W̡͘Ḩ̶̨Ý ͘W̢̛͢͟H̸̨Y͝͡ ̸̀͟͜͞W̴̛͘H̴͟͏͠Y̛̕͜ ̶̧͟͢W̛͘͜͡H̷̸͝Ỳ̢̛͠͡ ̴̢̢͟͝W̨͠H̷͘͝Ý ́́̕W̵̧̢͢͢H̵̷̨̛́Y̵̸̸͟ ҉̶̢͞W̨̧̧҉H̷̨̛͜Y̷̢̛̛̛ ̡̨͡Ẁ̸̡H̢́͡͝Y̸̷͢͠҉ ͢W̡̧̛͘͢H̵̵́͟͡Y̴̵̷͢͝ ̴̡̡͜W̵̷̡͘H̸̕Ý͟ ̵̴̧͘W̴̡͢͞H͜͏Ỳ̵̵̀ ̨̢́͜͠W̶̛̜̦̩̞͜H̤̜̦̯͇̺̮͉͙̖͕̝͎̣̞̯̲̘͟͠Y̸҉͏̮̱̩̙̝͉͎̜͉͕͔̳ ͏̷̵͉̰͔̟̱͎͓̘̦̭̼̯̳͘W̢̬͚̬̗̲̻̳̣͇̣̪̟͈̟̲͜͠͡H̢͏̟̹̦͇̱̣̖͈̘̻͘ͅỲ̨̮̞̺̖͜͟͠ ̀͟͏̥͇̲͍̦̰̙̭̥͙̩̀ͅẈ̨̙̻͟H̶̵̨̛̱̫̮̫̺͝Ý̴̵̸̛͉̺̝͎̲̘̦̫̙̺̹̲̦̝ ̷͈̙̻̺̞̗̙́W̷̸̢̪͕̙͉̜͔͚͉͈̳̳̺͍̬H҉̧̛͖̗̣̼̀Y͏̸̴̰̜͕͉̬̭̻̫̦̣̙̜̹̟͟͝ͅͅ ̷͎͈̦̱͎̲̫͎͔̯͈͍̫͇̞̮ͅͅ_

And so it went on infinitely, clawing at the depths of his mind.

With the louder sounds of skin hitting skin were making him panic, sweat as if in heat. The light dropped a little, revealing at the corner of the room a black and red stain were the ‘dog’ had been all along. It was eating, that much he could tell at first sight, making his insides turn at the sight, yet he couldn't help heaving or feeling uncomfortably hot inside…

Its disproportioned canine body moved oddly over the mess of gore, thrusting its skinny pelvis upon the mass of ripped meat and bones.

Then it stopped, caught within excited pants. It noticed the light, it noticed his presence and it turned its human-looking face, making the light reflect on its glassy yellow eyes. Aoba stepped back. The red thing below the dog was still moving, maybe just throbbing. It gasped painfully under the ‘dog’. Aoba took a couple of steps further back.

He knew what this was; this was exactly what it looked like. His stomach felt full again, so full it was overflowing all the way up his throat. The buzzing sound he nearly had forgotten was becoming stronger, stinging inside his head, vibrating through his bones.

It spilled again like water, even though it was very little this time. It tasted like nothing; it only left him with the permanence of nausea burning through his body as he weakly walked his way back. He felt like fainting, barely holding onto the crowbar and the flashlight on both his hands. The beast was approaching him bloodstained, he could hear its paws or hands or whatever it had coming closer… he coughed pitifully, barfing what was left of him, and he looked up to see if he was going to the right direction.

He was surrounded by four tall male figures, all heads twitching erratically. They wouldn’t do anything; they’d just stand there with their bent heads shaking. He jumped back on his feet and instinctively hit one of them with the crowbar as he made his way through them and back to the tight passage he came from.

For a moment, his flashlight flickered again. He cursed loudly without stopping his tracks, but the moment he looked back, he observed that the four male figures have moved close to him, yet they remained perfectly still when he turned his eyes on them. They have formed a queue behind him, and one of them was oozing a very dark liquid its chest, the place Aoba hit with his crowbar.

He ran, not without feeling every step he took was being stalked closely, he forcefully shut the door behind him and stayed like that for almost a whole minute, recovering his raspy breath.

It felt very quiet after that. The humming stopped hurting his ears and his flashlight stopped flickering.

He thought he’d start crying now, after what he saw, but he remained very still and calm after it. He didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t have to. All he needed to do was to get over it and keep moving.

But he didn’t even flinch for a while, as if his whole body had turned into stone. He wished the comfort of not needing to understand anything if it pained him so. He wished for it with all his heart.

He knew the truth. He knew how it made him feel to watch that scene. He knew it and it made him sick, made him hate himself.

He knew what he saw beneath the 'dog'.

He knew he saw a face.

He remembered the face one more time, then he finally broke down crying.

****

“—ake up! Please, wake up!”

His consciousness was pulled out of the darkness of dreamless sleep when the back of his jacket’s neck was yanked up and his first reflex was to move his arms, knowing that he had been lying on his chest. He was rewarded with a sharp pain on his side. He probably broke one or two ribs.

“Mink-san, are you okay?” The sentient android’s voice cried at him. It took him a minute to get back up and realize that they were brought to a completely different place. Clear seemed unharmed, besides the fact that his left arm was still gone, and he’s been probably at his side all the time he’s been unconscious.

It was very dark and suffocating, and Clear held the only flashlight they had in possession, so the taller man took it to observe the room with his own eyes.

“We’re… inside Oval Tower again, right?”

“Y-yes. That hideous thing knocked you instantly and carried you all the way here, and I could only follow. I’m sorry I couldn’t do anything about it! I’m so sorry!”

“Keep it quiet. If you cry more, you’re not going to help.”

“Sorry.”

But he realized almost immediately, that no monsters were around them. This was a small research room, not extremely different from those he had seen years ago… but something far more horrifying than monsters was occupying the room. Clear was sitting on the floor with his back turned to them the whole time, a wise choice.

There were five tables. Four dead bodies. All the same, yet so different for one single reason. They all have died differently. His eyes were suddenly fixed on one in particular, not because it had the most gruesome of wounds…

“We should leave.” He muttered. Rapidly, he headed towards the opposite door, but discovered it was tightly shut from the other side. He cringed lightly, stung by the pain of moving his body so suddenly, so he didn’t waste his time on trying to force the locked door open. The other side had a half-open door, evidently from where they entered.

He was ready to leave, but he looked back, noticing that the android was still lying on his knees, visibly disturbed, his mouth gaping in slow horror.

“Why is _he_ here? You told me it was all inside my mind. You told me they were fake memories, dreams. You told me that I shouldn’t believe… yet… why is _he_ right here?”

Mink frowned, looking again at the bodies. This was starting to get worse. He didn’t want to guess which one of them was the one Clear was talking about.

“It’s not real.” He said. “None of this is real. I’ve told you that, didn’t I?”

“… It’s getting really hard to believe in that.”

The android had become so dangerously human, Mink actually dreaded for what kind of effects this place was having on Clear’s already fragile psyche.

The man had done his best to reassure the android that these ‘dreams’ were nothing more than just fake memories, and the only reason why he decided to do this was because he had acknowledged for a long while that Clear was indeed an artificial life form that developed his own human heart; in a way, Clear was nothing but a child. Someone so innocent didn’t deserve to carry the weight of such perverse and inhuman deeds, as far as Clear had trusted him.

But perhaps Mink had been wrong along. Clear wasn’t innocent. At least not this one. He was just delaying the awakening of a true monster. He should know, since he was himself a monster on his own.

He’d be the one to pay the price if it came to that.

Promptly, he grabbed the white haired android by the yellow scarf and started to drag him out of the research room. “You need to get out of here. If your sanity is destroyed because of this place… if the boundaries between dream and reality are broken, there’s no promise that we’ll come out of this place alive.” Clear forced himself to stand as soon as they left, and promptly rearranged his old scarf, looking at the taller man with his glassy pink eyes. “Do you understand? You shouldn’t have followed me here in the first place.”

“… I just couldn’t leave you alone. Besides, you’re badly hurt.”

 “I don’t need you anymore.” he grunted disdainfully. “… I refuse to keep going as long as you remain at my side. I’d end up looking after you instead of finding Aoba.”

The shoulders of the android tensed, but then he rubbed the wrapped stump of his left arm, making Mink frown regretfully.

“Alright, I get it.” Clear replied, visibly torn by those words.

****

He knocked the door, and the familiar voice didn’t make him wait. He honestly needed words from another human being, otherwise, he’d finally lose it. He supported his weight against the door, noticing the dry marks of blood carpeting the sealed entrance.

“You’ve returned. Did you find the person you were looking for?” she asked, concealed behind the cold steel.

“No, not yet.” He replied, feeling how dead his voice actually sounded like.

“I see…”                                                                                                                                                        

Aoba’s hands were shaking, remembering the messy pages of Takatsuki’s journal. “What were those writings on the walls?”

“I really can’t know if I haven’t seen them, you know?”

 _Of course, she wouldn’t know._ “Right… But I haven’t made any progress so far. At this rate, I might simply get out of this place. I might give up…”

But she didn’t say anything, didn’t even protest. The low humming was somehow more persistent now. His head was hurting as if it was falling apart.

“Your shadows are creeping towards you. Do you understand the meaning of this?” the female voice said, as if she noticed the young man’s inner agony.

“Does it mean that I’m getting closer?” he asked, feeling the distress increasing.

“That’s a way to say it, yes. I’d first suggest you to figure out first to _what_ are you getting closer. It might not be the same thing that you’re looking for.”

“Surely it’s not.” He agreed. Now it was like a bee buzzing inside his head, or maybe static.

Her voice was barely audible through the ringing on the thick air. “You should be careful about Sei, if you find him. He should be able to help you, but you need to be wary, because someone like that could only have survived by learning to manipulate others, even by necessity.”

“Have you… seen him?” Aoba asked, wiping the dense layer or sweat from his forehead.

“Yes… No, _wait_ … I— I’m… not sure.” Her voice trembled; something was happening to her. Somehow, she was unable to get back to her previous statements, as if she was losing herself to the painful static. “… I… I don’t remember.”

“How can you not remember?”

He was suddenly met with physical pain and frustration; he closed his eyes as he tried to will the headache away. Why wouldn’t the buzzing cease to torture him?

But then his eyes opened again, looking at the door again. There was an open small space, he could surely slip his fingers there and try to slide it fully open if he wanted.

“… His eyes. Don’t look at his eyes, no matter what you do. Don’t look at them.” She finally said.

“What’s wrong with his eyes?” without thinking, he forcefully slid the steel door to the other side; he was met with more silence, more metallic pestilence. Wouldn’t she panic by seeing that he opened her door? Did she hide?

But silence was all that he obtained when he entered the room. The humming disappeared almost completely. The air was stagnant and it was completely still. He could see boxes littered everywhere with cans of food and bottles of water… but not signs of another human living in here.

“Takatsuki-san?” he called, out of breath.

He turned his light to the corners of the research room, to the tables and the drawers… he finally caught sight of a pair of thin white legs stained with filth on the floor. There was a half-naked woman lying awkwardly on one corner, very still, showered by dry blood.

Distraught, Aoba leaned close to her, noticing the stiffness and sick colors of her skin, her open eyes were pale with death, the smell on her cold skin was strange. Her trousers were lying close to her head, and most of the blood he could see came from between her legs. But none of these details mattered to him…

She could have been dead for days.

It was pointless to think too hard about how she died, if it was so obvious, and he once had in his possession the biggest of hints. This could have been a miscarriage. Possibly she died of blood loss. He looked again at her. From the look of her face, she died feeling a lot of pain. But he looked around… there was blood everywhere, but nothing else of importance to be found.

Then he looked at the dirty trousers. There was a shiny object was standing out from the synthetic fabric. It fitted so well inside his palm, almost as if it was meant to be carried by him, and that was scary. This was a gun, a semi-automatic by the looks of it. He had never touched a real firearm in his whole life, so he wasn’t entirely sure how to verify how many bullets it had in yet.  He turned it over and tried to imitate what he had seen on movies… _Oh, so this was the magazine_ , and it seemed like it only had four bullets left.

He put it inside his bag and then looked at the woman’s corpse again. He noticed that her hand was holding on to a piece of paper; not far from her trousers, he saw a pen. Her cold fingers were rigid, and he almost decided to leave it behind. But he didn’t.

He knelt next to her and tried to pry out her stiff digits around the paper. It was probably ripped from her own notebook, but that would raise the questions of why and how did the notebook end up so far away from here… He unfolded the paper, full of red fingerprints, but the words were legible on both sides. One side had this written:

_Red Green Yellow Pink Blue In that order_

It didn’t give any other clue than that, but the other side was far more interesting, if not confusing.

_Your life has meaning. You are alive because somebody else isn’t anymore. That is the cycle of life and death._

She could have meant anything by this. But she wrote this for someone to read it… but at this point, he couldn’t tell anymore.

None of this could be reality, as far as he was concerned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the chapter's name is a big cruel pun.  
> Also, one more chapter left before going straight to Ending A.  
> All kudos and comments are welcome; they're always very meaningful to me. Thanks a lot for your time!


	25. His True Colors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was really tough to write! Let's put your confidence on your favorite character to test!

Finally when he was back at the first floor, he could see with greater detail how the wide corridors actually were, vestiges of its architectural beauty and complexity were still visible on the hallway arcs. There were marks of bloodshed in arbitrary places on the floor, probably from a fight that happened a while ago, although none of it really mattered.

He was going to leave soon anyways.

There was indeed a person that he once wanted to find by coming to this tower, but he knew that he feared of what’d happen if he found them. It wasn’t just the fact that he’s been hiding himself from some unthinkable truth, but he was afraid of the possibility that he might truly die because of it.

He didn’t want to disappear. He wanted to live. If he backed out now, he could never regain what was missing inside of him, but his own desires to keep on living and return to Tae were possibly strong enough to make him abandon this place.

But… could Tae welcome him back with open arms after all? Why was he even questioning that? There was no way that his own grandmother would turn him away.

For a minute he wasn’t so sure that he managed to trace his way back to the exit, but before finding any lead his light encountered something that gleamed white. For a moment he considered reaching into his bag for the gun, but he recognized the dirty white skirt and sweater when he looked closer. But he forced himself to focus his eyes on the clothes almost immediately.

He knew it was Blank. But he didn't feel safe now. He knew it wasn't safe.

“Where have you been?” Blank asked. They sounded alarmed for some reason.

“Lost.” he answered, evidencing his wariness. “Where have _you_ been?”

“Still looking for my brother… but I couldn’t do it without you.”

“I see.” Aoba tried to avoid looking at Blank’s eyes while talking, the flashlight deliberately just illuminated Blank from the neck and below. “Have you met with other people in this building?”

“No. Not really… there might be someone else in this building, but what about you?”

He frowned lightly, looking at the small skull on Blank’s choker, as if trying to imagine that was their real face. Blank’s voice had changed again, as if they have given up on protecting the lie.

“… Nothing.” He lied.

As Blank walked past him, Aoba didn’t stop pointing his flashlight on the white sweater, fearing that losing sight of it could mean that they’d get lost again.

They traveled together in silence through the building, Aoba thought that Blank would make him use the same elevator he had used to get back to the exit, but they gave another turn and found the stairs. They went up for almost three floors without saying anything a word to each other, and Aoba felt so detached from them that it was almost like following the steps of a ghost.

Once they started to look over the third story, Aoba noticed that the walls around here seemed to be leaking from the ceiling. It wasn’t a dark liquid like all other times, but it didn’t seem to be water either. It smelled like vinegar and reminded him of the times he stood near Tae watching her tend on the injured…

“It’s morphine. I think it should be alright if we don’t stay here for too long.” Blank said out of the blue, as if their opinion was asked, but neither knowing or hearing their voice was making Aoba feel better.

“I just want this to be over, okay?” Aoba whispered, feeling sick with dread and anticipation.

“… If this helps you, I’m feeling just as scared as you. I fear for what’s about to happen next, just as much as you do.”

“Why?”

“Because the life of my brother literally depends on the next decision you make… I can’t save him without you.”

“I don’t have _that_ power… Not anymore.”

“You’ll have to have it once we’re there. Even if you decide to hate me for everything that has happened —all the things I’ve done and I’m about to do—, I’d accept that. But… if you have to choose between me and him, I’d rather you to save him.”

Externally, Blank didn’t seem to show any sort of altered behavior, but their words had cracked the icy surface of their apparent coolness. Aoba realized that these were the most honest words he had ever heard them say. He almost felt… moved, if it wasn’t for the fact that the walls were leaking morphine and the low humming started to reach his ears again.

Yet… now that Aoba paid attention, it was clear that Blank was actually like a fish in the water as they moved within these moist corridors. Blank walked so naturally, as if they have learned the path by heart. Aoba felt surprised when they guided him to a new metallic door, gleaming like a mirror, but he avoided to stare at Blank’s reflected face as he realized this unconscious action.

_Don’t look at his eyes, no matter what you do._

… _Of course_. The answer couldn’t have been simpler than that. He already knew the truth. He had known, ever since they met at the entrance of this Tower. Even his own behavior had changed ever since he decided to not look at their eyes.

The elevator door opened, it possessed a faint smell of medicine. They entered quietly, it was a very small space, but Aoba went in first.

 “… Your real name is Sei… You _are_ Sei, aren’t you?” he murmured as he stared at the other’s head from the back, and the elevator closed its door, moving almost immediately.

“… I am.” They responded, their voice was reduced to a mere breath. “Since when did you realize?”

The elevator was fast, he could feel some sort of faint vertigo while standing still. Blank— _Sei_ — didn’t look back at him at any moment, probably aware of his intentions.

“I’ve read and heard your name before, but I didn’t know it was you… No, I think I’ve seen you before, yet I can’t exactly recall how or when.” His own paused speech faltered upon the faint memories that he couldn’t make sense of yet… “You and I are the same, aren’t we?”

“In a way, we are.”

“… Then that means that your brother is—” violently, the platform shook and knocked them both off their feet. It was only the elevator was suddenly seized by something of great force.

The force of the sudden stop made the young man knock the back of his head on the wall of the elevator, but the effect of the hit only lasted for a few seconds, the throbbing pain didn’t stun him for long thus he didn’t forget he needed to keep his eyes off Sei’s eyes.

By the looks of it, Sei had also hit their head against the surface during the stop, but they proceeded to brush off the shock right after. He pressed the buttons on the control panel, but it proved to remain unresponsive for repetitive tries.

“We’re stuck here. You have a crowbar, don’t you?”

Without answering the question, the blue-haired found his crowbar lying on the floor, and quickly moved to place its curve end on the thin border of the door and started to apply pressure on the lever. For some seconds, all of his effort seemed fruitless until other two hands joined to help him pry the door open.

The hands were still warm, but they also seemed more fragile than before. Well, this was an entirely different body, Aoba had to take that into account… He couldn’t help but to stare at the blue wristwatch on their hand, wondering if the real owner of this body would be safe after everything was over.

At last, the door was forced open, and it seemed like the elevator had stopped at the same floor Aoba obtained the gun he still kept inside his bag. The ambient was feeling somewhat different…

Corrosion. It felt as if the place had aged decades and still going through an impossibly fast decay, making the feeble steel moan… The buzzing started to drill inside Aoba’s ears, and not only that, but the air was filled with an even fouler smell —antiseptic with morphine and also vomit and excrement—, hurting his nose.

Suddenly, Sei stopped their tracks, moving their head lightly to one side as if they perceived a new sound.

“He is here.”

Sei’s companion had to furrow his brow in confusion. “What?”

“My brother. He is close.”

Sei started to hurry to the darkness, the young man followed while trying to keep the flashlight moving on the right direction.

That’s when he started to notice the change.

The ceiling and the walls were rotting like fruit, and everything warping with nasty red as they moved on… It was so horribly reminiscent to the innards of a body… the ground was getting uneven and slippery, making squishing sounds when he stepped on it. Also, the revolting hot air was so stagnant he couldn’t breathe without feeling the urge to cough and spit, knowing he wasn’t capable of vomiting anymore.

He thought Sei would feel ill as well, but they only stopped to look back in confusion, completely unaffected by the toxic surroundings.

“… What’s the matter? We need to hurry.”

Aoba tried to pull himself back together, but his mouth and nose were dripping with liquid.

****

_—Minutes Ago—_

“You.” Mink grunted warily, and the frightened android stopped just beside him. They were so close to the exit, yet someone else was already there waiting for them.

There was a figure made of white clothes, light skin and black hair; his alertness perked upon glancing upon their black coal eyes and androgynous thin face.

“… I didn’t know you were already here. I was waiting for you to come through this passageway.” said the pale character. They tilted their head curiously, their small black eyes flickering with the artificial light. “Nevertheless… I’m glad that we meet again. It was getting hard to get back to you.”

He knew exactly who this was, only appearance was the way of telling apart one person from the other. This person wasn’t breathing inside their own skin, but wearing someone else as an avatar to walk among the living… this aspect was only an illusion such as many of the countless horrors depicted inside this dark world. But the real owner of that skin was safe, and that was all Mink could be certain of.

The older man closed his eyelids for a second, acknowledging the feeling that this feeble creature standing before him has been the one who played as both the puppeteer and was forced to be the captive princess.

“You gave me no choice back then, but the first time you spoke to me, you said you had a plan to save him. It’d better be reliable plan to compensate all the trouble that you made me go through for the past weeks.” Mink said, staring down at the black-eyed ghost. Their eyebrows furrowed lightly.

“… You took it the wrong way. Because of the great burden on your shoulders, you attract a lot of dangers, and it can’t really be helped when you isolate yourself. You may not be able to prevent when it happens, but it’s the truth. I did what I could to save you.”

“So you never had anything to do with that… _sly spirit_?”

Their little eyes broadened a little. “… You mean… the other _Aoba_? No, but I’m… partly at fault that he kept on harassing you and that other man—Koujaku—. I allowed it because I was trying to communicate with him as many times as possible... I’m so sorry. I should have known of what was he capable of.”

For second, it was hard to tell if there was any regret at all inside this person’s voice, and it was unnerving to Mink to be unable to read the body language of this ghostly character. On his side, Clear has remained silent, but suddenly stepped forward as if wanting the minimal inclusion inside the conversation.

The white-haired android nodded lightly in acquaintance of the other person, and they returned the gesture.

_That’s right… this is the place where he was made after all._

“We haven’t seen each other for a long time. Although… you had a different name when we first met.” said the black-eyed one.

“Yes…” Clear nodded again, his voice had acquired a new solemnity. “Your power… your _Scrap_ can cure Aoba-san, isn’t that right?”

“I guess it’s easy to assume that when my power does exactly the opposite of what Aoba can do with his Scrap. Where his power can only destroy, mine can only create… I can create and give life to certain things, but that’s not the same as ‘curing’.”

“What you’re saying is that your power can’t do anything to save that guy…? But there’s another reason why you’ve brought _me_ to this place.” The taller man crossed his arms, but inside he felt like falling apart, and that was scaring him.

“… I need you to reach the upper levels of the Tower; that's where my real body is being kept alive. Retrieve me and we’ll reunite outside of this Tower. The rest will depend on me and Aoba.”

The top of Oval Tower. He had tried to reach that place for years, and for countless dreams he pictured himself putting an end to this long story up there... But it was foolish and selfish of him to believe that the tragedy would die along Toue. He had never cared about it until recently. “Toue is still alive up there. Did he exclude himself from this hell?”

“… I know what you’re thinking, but you’ve got it all wrong. He isn’t the one who created this world.” replied the ghost-like character. “I know that it’s important for you to obtain revenge, but _please_ : don’t do anything that you'll regret.”

“That man wrote his own death sentence long ago. But I didn’t come here for retribution alone.”

The black-haired character nodded, their dark eyes reflected light again as they looked up again at the taller man. “Then you’ll do what I’m telling you… I can’t guide you myself this time though, I’ve got something else to take care of. But you don’t have to worry about _that one_ , I promise I’ll keep him busy while you’re at it.”

Mink understood the instructions as they were briefly told, Clear made a couple of remarks from things he remembered when he was a robot that served inside this place. It wouldn’t be easy to do it, but he didn’t have room for more mistakes this time. As he turned away, he felt a strong hand grasp his arm firmly.

Clear was looking up at him, eyes full of humanity. “… You need me now. You can’t go up there alone.”

“This is too important.”

“Better reason to take me with you! Take me! Even if I’ll be just your shield, take me!” Again, the gentle voice was breaking, but the older man had hardened his heart enough to say ‘no’ as many times as Clear begged for the same thing over and over again.

Then the androgynous person interceded, reaching for the robot: “… You shouldn’t go, not in your current state. Even your friend here agrees with that… If you go back to the depths, you may bring back something you don’t want to.”

Clear let go of his companion’s arm, pressing his lips together while staring at the black-eyed person.

“There must be something I can do”, he whimpered. “I can’t simply stay outside and do nothing while everyone else is in danger!”

Mink watched how the mysterious pale guest pursing their lips, probably the only readable body language he managed to capture so far from them, but… in what were they thinking?

“If you wanted to prove yourself that badly, you’d do whatever your heart tells you to. I know you have something very similar to what humans call a ‘heart’, so that must be reason alone to explain the way you're thinking. I wouldn't know what to tell you.” There was a small tone of insecurity living in their voice.

Clear for a second seemed conflicted about those well-meaning words. Mink knew he no longer had a saying between the robot and the 'ghost'.

“…  What will you choose to do?” they asked.

****

The nausea didn’t settle down, but he finally learned to walk faster while containing his sickness. This was obviously something that Sei wasn’t capable of perceiving, almost as if they were walking in completely different worlds. That left the question of what kind of scenery Sei was seeing if not this nightmarish corridor.

Also, the humming in the air was distorting into waves, getting softer, paused, strangely distressing.

It sounded like breathing; it pulsed through the fleshy surface of the walls of the transformed building. Sei didn’t seem to notice or mind any of this.

They went downstairs and entered a huge dark room with the floor painted in the colors of meat, and the scent of warm filth filled Aoba’s nostrils, he had to cover his mouth and nose with the collar of his shirt to filter the horrible smell as much as he could. He looked up to see that several cables were hanging from the ceiling, but the worst part was that another mass of twitching flesh was hooked on them, bend in an awkward and painful position. In a twisted sense of humor, it could resemble a chandelier… Could be the same room he visited not long ago for all he knew.

“Ah, so you’re here after all.”

Aoba jumped, a voice came from the darkest corner from the room. He recognized the voice before the person stepped into the range of the flashlight, the cracked glass of the spectacles shone as the light reached them.

“… Virus? What are you doing in here?” Then he realized that he was alone. “Where’s Trip?”

For a moment, the blond man stared blankly to Aoba, but he walked closer to Sei. There was something uncanny about their calm behavior. Also, his arm was still injured, still resting on a black brace.

“Now, that’s a funny question you’ve got there, ‘Aoba-san’, even somewhat inappropriate.” The snark in Virus’ voice pinched him, but then directed his attention to Sei, visibly upset about something. “Is this the reason why you made me come all the way here, Sei-san? I’ve never seen this kind of… persistence before, and you’re awfully fortunate that I was curious enough to see what would happen next, otherwise I’d already be taking a well-deserved respite anywhere but here.”

“Sorry about that, I know that you had to go through a lot.” Sei bowed his head a little. Aoba was just growing uneasy about everything as he stood there in bewilderment.

“Wait, you’ve known each other before? W-what’s going on?” he questioned. Virus seemed to sigh in annoyance.

“He’s going to help us find my brother.” Sei replied.

“I don’t get it.” the blue-haired shook his head, breathing unevenly. His face was covered in sweat.

“You will once we get there.” Then they turned back to the bespectacled man. “Virus, please.”

“I will. But I must ask this question first: why is that one going to follow us? Is it safe?” Virus directed a glance of mistrust to the blue-haired one.

“It’ll be alright.”

Then Aoba exploded and angrily yelled at them. “I’ve had enough! Why are you two so familiar with each other? What’s going on?… W-where is Trip?” He didn’t realize it, but his chin was trembling, he was feeling his stomach heavy again with sickness and it was hard to breathe. “Where is he…?”

That’s when Virus looked at him dead in the eye, and Aoba found an unusual blue shine through those irises, even though he knew that Virus always had that eye color…

“He’s dead. You killed him a while ago, remember?”

His heart was beating fast, his face was soaking from the sweat.

“What? No… that’s—that was not what I…—it wasn’t…” His own voice was pathetically escaping his wet mouth, he couldn’t stop shaking while looking back at Virus. “… There’s no way I could have done that! I’ve seen you with Trip together just a couple of days ago!”

“Yes, _I know what you saw_ , thank you.”

He was feeling as if his body was ready to crumble down in pieces, couldn’t wrap his head around the idea that Trip wasn’t alive anymore. “I don’t believe anything of this! I didn’t kill anyone! I couldn’t have killed Trip! W-why would I?”

Virus simply frowned, staring in silence. He was judging every word, every involuntary move from his body, watching him as if he was _something_.

“… We can’t always obtain all the answers we want, can we, ‘Aoba-san’?”

“I… I didn’t— he can’t be dead!”

But his words were brushed off, Virus turned his back on him and then turned on a small flashlight that he kept inside his arm brace.

“Sei-san, shall we go?”

He kept on whining, following their steps weakly while trying to understand the meaning of everything that Virus said and all the things he saw before meeting him here. He stalked them closely like a lost soul that only Sei would occasionally look back at, yet their eyes wouldn’t meet.

Aoba almost felt like grabbing the blond man from his shoulders and shake the answers off him. _No_. It was more like wanting to force him to say that Trip was still alive and hidden somewhere and he didn’t kill anyone… but that wouldn’t make him feel better. He tried desperately to remember the last time he talked to Trip some days ago…

He tried and tried, but now he couldn’t recall Trip’s face back then.

His face has been covered in bandages because he was injured—

_Wrong._

It was red. It was small, and faceless and red like blood. It was a very small child-like person standing next to Virus, acting just like Trip would. It was red. But why?

Why did he remember all of this until now? How?

“This is it. This must be the place.”

They both stopped, and so Aoba did; engrossed by his own horrific revelations, he didn’t realize how far they went. This wasn’t a room that he’s seen before, yet it was paved by colors and scents that probably only he could perceive… also, the stench of shit was stronger in this place…

The air in this room was oppressive, dangerous… Virus oddly remarked something about having strange memories of this room. Aoba simply looked at his sides as discovered that his light was reflected by walls of glass… No, wait, these were water tanks still full of dark brown liquid. He could count only four, but there could be more. However, those weren’t the source of his evolving fear.

He could _sense_ something breathing inside this room while the other two people he followed here were seemingly calm. Its breath was so sickly yet it was terrifying Aoba, making the skin of his arms and back stand on their ends.

_What in the world was living inside this room?_

He observed Virus walk to the center of the room, placed among the great water tanks, there was a large black iron box and he made a small gesture with his hand, as if the box was something particularly important.

The smell was unbearable now, and he was burning up in fever, his trembling legs losing the fight against the fear, inevitably he was completely paralyzed. The heavy breathing was coming from the box, yet he could feel it touching the back of his head. He was afraid of what was inside that box. Whatever was inside that box was a threat to him, he knew!

“ _A box_?” Sei seemed to gasp in disappointment. “… Did you lock up my brother inside a box?”

The bespectacled man tilted his head. “Now, you know that it wasn’t truly _me_ who did such a thing in the first place. I never did and never had the chance. Surely in another place and another set of circumstances I must have done that. However, that wasn’t really _me_ , Sei-san. This brother of yours doesn’t even belong _here_ , I believe. He doesn’t exist, hence neither does the one who did this to him.” But Sei shook his head slowly, making the other rise his small eyebrow.

For a moment, it seemed like something painful was oppressing Sei’s chest. “… No. You don’t get it. Everything you’ve done to him has truly happened. None of it was fake, Virus.”

“Sei-san, I’m afraid that I can’t quite agree with what you’re implying. If the memories that were forcefully shoved down my throat aren’t fake, if they all happened… then this is not the place where I belong.” Having said this, Virus placed his healthy hand on the top of the black box’s lid. “And neither he does.”

“No, he doesn’t. But _I need him_. I can’t allow you to keep him or take him away from me. Not in this world.” Sei responded, softly stepping forward.

However, the blue-haired man couldn’t stop staring terrified at the box, as if filth was seeping through its lid. Whatever was inside of it was reeking of many things… and he felt like crying, without fully understanding why. He was afraid, but also incredibly distressed by it.

“Still, you need me to open up this box. What do I get in return?” Virus questioned, keeping his cool, but Sei didn’t say anything. “… That’s what I thought.”

“You always had the power of taking anything you wanted from me… it’s time I get back something from you.” Sei’s voice was breaking a little, yet they gave another step towards the box.

The bespectacled man lowered his face, frowning in disgust. “I’m afraid that I can’t accept that. That simply won’t do.”

“Open the box.” Sei demanded.

“Stop that.”

“Open the box.”

“Sei-san, you know _that_ doesn’t work on me.”

“I’m only asking you to open the box.”

“We don’t like to play like this.” Virus’s voice was growing impatient; his shoulders stiffened as the other one was walked closer to the box. But it was odd. Virus always had Trip on his side… that ‘we’ probably came out unintentionally… but it was truly odd, since Virus was too composed to commit mistakes like those… “Do you truly think I’d give up on him that easily?”

“… You have no choice, Virus. If I have to fight you for him, you’d better believe that I’ll do it. Or you can just do as I say and I’ll let you walk free from this, I promise.”

For one second, Virus and the pale youth exchanged gazes in silence, as if fighting each other with their eyes only. Virus smirked lightly and then placed his thin fingers on the box’s lid.

“I wasn’t a fighter to begin with. Let’s get this over with, shall we?”

The blue-haired man heard the box open, but he saw nothing as a heavy weight forced him on his knees and a splitting pain on his head started to haze his sight with bright red. Hands have clawed at his waist and were trying to drag him down, and as he looked down, he realized that he was again face to face with the greatest of horrors once again.

He let out a scream of utter terror. He saw _Aoba_ torn to shreds from head to waist for that was all that was left of him, a complete display of unspeakable gore that was shakily clinging to his clothes and moaning wretchedly through a red gash that could be his mouth.

He was too shocked to violently push _Aoba_ right away, as terror was twisting his mind to where sanity couldn’t function. With a brief glance to his surroundings he realized that he wasn’t with Sei and Virus anymore. He was kneeling in a black nothingness in which light didn’t work, yet he could see the figure that lived in it well enough, much to his own dismay.

After he pushed Aoba off him, it stopped moving and making a sound, and seeing it from so close, taking in all details of the gore, the chunks of missing flesh and the bones showing through the layers of tissue from all the chewing, the soft viscera slipping out from the ripped skin… he was feeling so sick in the stomach and his headache was cleaving through his head…

But something else was making him upset now.

His own face was drenched with something else that wasn’t sweat… he swiped the wetness with his hand and realized it was all covered in thick warm blood. There was no way that he could look at his own face, but he could feel that it was covered in liquid. There was even some metallic taste inside his palate… no, inside his cheek he felt something hard like a piece of meat.

He spitted it out on his hand.

It was meat indeed; it also was skin and it was raw…

Panicking, he dropped it and looked back at the corpse. It had changed.

It was a whole body again, but he was still moving in painful spasms on the ground while one of his hands was pressing a place on his neck. It was still _Aoba_ , but when his glowing golden eyes met again, he witnessed a powerful hatred and fear like no other he’s ever seen.

The other Aoba could still talk, but they were barely whispers. “… E-even here…? Even here I can’t win against you…? I can’t go back?” the hand pressing his neck was completely red, and yet more liquid was seeping from the crevices of his fingers. Looking up at the other with unruly anger. It was the expression of someone who couldn’t accept defeat. This was the Aoba who used to be known as Sly Blue.

“It’s cold… It’s so cold… _fuck_ … and the pain is so dull yet I can’t…!” This was Sly Blue and at the same time the doppelganger that existed outside Aoba. It was him, no doubt; yet something was terribly off about him. His bright golden eyes were so full of fear. He was trying to get up, but his whole body was shaking and his neck was still bleeding profusely. “W-what are you looking at? Are you looking down on me? W-why are you so damn quiet?” the vicious voice was even cracking. “What the hell are you even thinking about? Do you have any fucking idea of what have you done?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now this is the chapter in which the characters will make good/dumb decisions that will lead to the different endings. Of course, you don't need to expect every ending to explain everything, but eh, each ending is a piece of a puzzle! Yeah! A puzzle! Because puzzles are so much fun!


	26. Before Hell. I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I UPDATED, HALLELUJAH. I'm sorry it took me so, so, SO long to finish it, and you're probably going to be disappointed anyways because this chapter and the next are going to be FLASHBACKS made to explain a bunch of details that so far have been elusive af to the plot and I guess they'll help you (or not) to understand what happened before the story started and where is it going.  
> Also, Tae Seragaki is the protagonist in these FLashbacks, so there you have an idea. I'm sorry if I make it terribly boring. And I beg you to forgive me for the bullshit I pull out in this chapter.  
> ***  
> I'm almost done with the conclusion of the fanfiction, which expanded far more than I originally intended. It's still going to have multiple endings, and two of them will get an epilogue. So yeah, it's pretty close to getting done and so I have it all figured out. *inhales* Thanks for your attention.

It wasn’t that she finally yielded to his demands, but with the proper planning and bravery, she concluded that she’d let Toue’s men find her to let her in. She’d comply with his requests for a while, until she could ensure the safety of her grandson.

Of course, when it came to ‘retrieving’ her, Toue was understandably wary of finding her after months of being invisible, so she had to give away her reasons once her request to negotiate with the man was heard.

“I will work for you again, but in exchange of that, you will release my grandson.”

An agreement was arranged almost instantly, and she wasn’t extremely happy to understand the reasons why.

Before going to the main Tower, she was taken to an underground laboratory, where human subjects were being kept. She caught a glance of youths in rooms and sometimes out on the corridors, far too drugged or brainwashed to attempt any escape. She recognized one of them lying asleep on the floor, an european-looking kid who befriended Aoba before going to Platinum Jail. This was the one who didn’t make it back when they broke into Oval Tower the first time. She felt the impulse of helping him get up, but the guards who escorted her wouldn’t allow that.

She was taken to a private room, not heavily secured, but still in better shape than the rest of the ward. Her grandson was strapped on a bed, and wearing some sort of plastic muzzle, and despite showing her distress and confusion at this display, she was refused his experimentation history when she requested it. The visit was short-lived and it’d be a while before she was allowed to see him again. She understood that she needed to be patient.

For her apparent willingness to cooperate, she was given a resting room on the upper side of the Tower with the necessary commodities to live, then they handed her archives with the history on the main subject’s deteriorating health, the subject they wanted her to work with from the beginning.

A pair of men came the following day to take her to her new work area. They looked familiar. She could have sworn she had seen them before… probably in one of those days she had to pick up a teenage Aoba from the police station after getting in trouble; two blond men who dressed like twins bailed her grandson out of detention and she never saw them again.

“Whatever comes in need, Seragaki-san, we can fetch it for you.” the spectacled one said nonchalantly, looking at her at the corner of his eye. She didn’t like those eyes.

“Think of anything. We cannot refuse a favor to Aoba’s grandmother after all.”

 “… Who are you?”

“Old friends.”

She didn’t like their approach. They were obviously faking their interest, but she’d put these men to use if it ever came to it.

She was given protective glasses upon arriving to the lab, her new supervisor said that they were an obligatory part of the researcher’s equipment as he was wearing one himself. However, there wasn’t such a thing as too many precautions; they even placed a special blindfold on the subject when his eyes weren’t being examined… although she was certain that the poor young man would hardly even try to oppose at this point. She just knew the moment she looked at him, so weak and worn out by years of relentless experimentation. According to what the profile said, the subject was supposed to be taller than Aoba, but he actually seemed much smaller.

Toue had made it clear, that this ‘son’ of his had a very fragile health, but she knew that even for a neurologist of her experience there was little she could do for the psychological damage done to him. His body would survive if given a proper rehabilitation, but his mind… or his soul? it was hard to tell.

This was just what her supervisor explained to her: The subject’s mind had grown unstable, and unknowingly was using Scrap, messing with the brainwashing machines and causing nasty side-effects on people who were exposed. Her job was to run tests on his brain and ‘fix’ him, didn’t matter if she’d use medication or surgery, just as long as she could keep the poor thing alive and working.

She was invaded with a surreal feeling when she came closer to the young man, and he noticed her presence right away.

“Are you… Seragaki Tae?”

The last time that she ever saw him, he was just a newborn, a little freak of nature separated from his dead twin, the one who became Seragaki Aoba. Deep inside she knew that this twin could have been her grandson too if things turned out differently… she also knew that if she never had taken that dead baby away they would have cut him to pieces for research purposes.

Sei was the name of the captive twin, and naturally he turned out to be opposite from Aoba’s personality; he was mild mannered and his words were feeble and kind, cotton for the ears.

Of course, she was told that people were allowed to engage in conversations with him, but no remarks were made about his behavior in particular. It was nearly heartbreaking to see someone so soft and understanding, and she dared to hope it was all just a façade. She wanted to hope the real Sei could be someone angrier and resentful, rather than just this submissive living-dead doll.

“I’d like to talk about Aoba.”

“… These conversations are being recorded, you know. I’m not comfortable with that.” She replied, not minding to offend her supervisor breathing on the back of her neck, figuratively.

“But it’s okay. I wanted to talk… They can’t punish you for what they already know.”

Sei breathed, it was so terribly feeble she visualized him collapsing from the action. “It was my fault. I was the one who brought Aoba here, even though I knew it’d be dangerous.” She frowned and lifted her face a little, the sudden realization striking her mind. “You’ve seen Aoba grow, haven’t you? How was he when he was a kid?”

Anger burned slow inside her chest, but she calmly sighed and looking at his body, avoiding the face at all times. The supervisor was listening to them without a word of interference.

“I’m sorry. I have only seen him from limited sources, and I don’t have a good idea of how he is as a person… I’ve wanted to meet him ever since I’ve known that he existed. You can believe whatever you wish, but the love I feel for Aoba is true, even if we’ll probably never meet in this life. I’d reach out for him if it was easy. Please, I just… want to know more about him, I want to understand why I love him.”

“Do you love him?”

“I know Love gives human beings the power to do things they normally wouldn't even try. Isn't that why we're both here now?”

And Love grants the ability to wound deeper than anything else, Tae knew. While she could concede that the feeling was sincere, she couldn’t tell how warped the notion of love was for someone like Sei. As for the thing that Sei wanted…

“I’m not supposed to be here to entertain you. You know what I’m doing and why.”

“… We’ve got plenty of time, Tae.”

They spoke for a whole hour while Sei could stay conscious. She ran a few tests along some recommendations and instructions from her new supervisor, getting accustomed to the new equipment rapidly…

Once Sei stopped speaking and was allowed to rest, the couple of men who escorted her to the lab placed Sei in a wheelchair and took him, leaving Tae to wait with her supervisor while she finalized her first report on him.

As it turned out, she was not questioned about her conversation with Sei, so perhaps they didn’t seem to mind it much, and her supervisor didn’t care about her motives as long as she met with her quota.

The man who was her supervisor was an old scrawny man, possibly a few years younger than her... Sakurai was his name, and she had the feeling that she heard his name a very long time ago, when Toue’s ambitions were small but inspiring and she had faith in his interest to help the medical community. It was over twenty years ago, and everything had changed…

“Seragaki-san? May I have a word with you?” the man in his regular lab coat spoke lightly, the folds on his face gave away the deceptive smile.

“What do you want?” she sighed, resigned to humor her supervisor.

“A bit on the edge, aren’t we? Don’t worry, I’ll be brief on my remarks.” There was the impression that Doctor Sakurai intended to appear cheerful for his age, but he was clearly tired and not enjoying the exchange. “You see, as Sei’s personal medic for nearly fifteen years, I often encourage a healthy amount of human interactions with him, and we appreciate your efforts for indulging him despite… your current situation. But with all due respect, you'd better keep your life to yourself.”

“ _Some doctor you are_.” Her tongue slipped, but she didn’t regret it through her fearlessness of making her real attitude be known. “But I get it; you don’t want your patient to form a sentimental bond with me.”

His expression roughened, a reaction that she expected, however he didn’t seem to be hateful.

“Don’t be so carefree during your job, Seragaki-san. I’m telling this to you for your own good. If you ever gave away any reason for them to believe you want to jeopardize Sei’s life, they will cut the considerations they’ve shown to you until now. Besides, if I were you, I’d be more careful about the information you give to him about your personal life. He’s got… a very bad _habit_ as of late. I’m sure you don’t want someone to mess around with personal memories or anything else of value.”

It didn’t felt like a threat towards her but more like a fair warning—as if she wasn’t bathed with warning when she arrived to the Tower—… When Tae was picked up by her escorts, Doctor Sakurai bowed his head briefly.

“Goodnight, and don’t panic if he appears in your room, he does that a lot.”

During the third night she spent in the Tower, she jumped from her mattress in bewilderment when her blurred sight slowly focused on a dark ghost-like figure, eyes with irises so black they rejected the neon light from the floor and ceiling. It was Sei, sitting on the room’s corner and with a blank stare. But when she reached to him, he was gone. _An illusion_. Of course. This was part of Sei’s power. He could project his own image in the real world, just like the hypothetical astral projection.

After a month of working on Sei’s rehabilitation, she had talked plenty of times to the odd couple of men —whom turned out to be indeed Sei’s personal caretakers— and concluded that they were actually willing to aid her in any way. She trusted they only cared for their own interests, but she’d use them as long as she could.

“Today they release some subjects back to the streets now that they’re no longer of use. We can only take one of them with us to avoid raising suspicion. Do you have anything in mind, Seragaki-san?” The bespectacled man said. What he was implying was that they could use this moment to take Aoba and replace him with someone else. She agreed that it was a decent plan, but it’d go against the scheme she already traced with Mink and Koujaku… It could ruin everything.

She thought it through; she couldn't take Aoba out yet.

“There's a blond boy from the bottom ward. Take him but you're going to take me as well.”

“Why are you coming with us and why would you want us to leave Aoba-san behind?”

“Because if you decide to take away Aoba here and now, they will double their efforts on getting him back, which is too inconvenient, don't you think? Besides, the other boy is an old friend of mine, but he is not essential for Toue… or you.”

“… What if we refuse?”

“I’ve known for a while that you refused to report to Toue of the existence of Aoba. He’s not going to let this one slip as soon as my word gets to him. Either way you choose, you’re no longer under Toue’s protection. Kill me now and Toue will know it was you. Betray me later and you’ll be blamed for any harm I get. You can do what I tell you to and I promise you won’t suffer consequences for that.”

They looked at each other and grinned, they were pleased for some reason. “How thrilling. We weren’t expecting you to be so sharp, Seragaki-san.”

She wasn’t expecting them to be completely honest with her, not trustworthy in the least. These men acted for their own interests and would only help her as far as they wished…

In short, they did exactly what she asked for, making it seem as if she was kidnapped and she took the ill young man under her care almost right away while they were transported by car through Platinum Jail’s vibrant atmosphere. For various minutes, the kid named ‘Noiz’ mumbled on her lap in a language she didn’t understand (probably german), and she could only whisper back that it’d be fine. She thanked whatever god existed that she needn’t tranquilizers to deal with him.

The car went through a checkpoint at the edge of the great wall of Platinum Jail, it was a checkpoint for the entry of maintenance staff, but it seemed oddly abandoned for some reason. Once they came out, they realized no guards were working there until the gang members of Scratch and Beni Shigure came out from their hiding and surprised them by surrounding the car.

 _They moved faster than I predicted_ , she thought relieved. It only meant that she wouldn’t need to worry for the twin-looking men of backstabbing her at some point beyond. Those two surrendered their grip on her quickly, but that was the last time she’d ever see them, as nobody was able to capture them.

Gang members transported and Noiz to the North District, where all rebels and survivors were hiding. She greeted Mizuki again and caught up with Koujaku after assuring him countless of times that she was fine after a whole month of absence. Noiz, however, needed heavy rehabilitation and they still needed to update their plans on rescuing her grandson.

It took about six days for the kid to come back to his senses… he was still suffering from the trauma of being imprisoned and experimented on for nearly eight months… His will power was something to behold.

While they were on the process of modifying the second part of their plan, another woman introduced herself to Tae; a young ex-researcher also willing to play a part in Toue’s undoing, and she volunteered to infiltrate to the Tower in order to sabotage the gears that powered the brainwashing transmissions that put Midorijima’s population under Toue’s control. It was going to facilitate their work, and the headman of Scratch agreed to the plan.

Takatasuki Aoi was her name, and Tae recognized the woman because of her deceased father, who was the husband of one of her acquaintances; Takatsuki was still young and had a boyfriend… as for her reasons to quit her job as a researcher and why did she decide to stand up until now didn’t matter anymore, but Takatsuki knew more than Tae had allowed anyone else. Chances were that Takatsuki had known of Sei's real purpose and probably knew of Tae's involvement with everything related.

In a sense, Takatsuki knew that Tae was partially responsible for Toue being where he was now.

Before putting in motion the plan, Noiz came to her, visibly healthier. He explained to her that before getting rescued, he saw the staff from the ward moving Aoba from place and he was going to try and hack into the Tower's system to find out where they moved Aoba. Tae understood and made Mink know of the importance of Noiz’s participation in this rescue… she only hoped that the boy wouldn’t push himself too far.

When she came out of the refuge again, she braced herself for the oncoming ruthlessness of her apprehension in hands of the androids who walked among the crowds and acted as Toue’s eyes and ears. They’d take her back into Platinum Jail with the assumption that she escaped her kidnappers and she was willing to go back to work in hopes of saving her grandson.

Even so, Toue’s security would have good reasons to suspect her motives of returning willingly and vigilance on her would be increased tenfold from now and on and it’d be harder to work on her own. She was interrogated about the whereabouts of the rebellious groups still hidden, she was even threatened with the use of drugs and lights to make her talk, but she knew they couldn’t do such a thing without spoiling her treasured mental capabilities. She only gave away a false location in which she was being kept by her ‘kidnappers’, which she didn’t expect them to believe, but it’d buy her some time.

She was returned to the Tower, but one of the guards grabbed her too roughly, hurting her left shoulder.

She was given a day and half to recover with the proper treatment, but it wasn’t enough. The first person she met after her rest was Doctor Sakurai outside her cell and it seemed like he hadn’t slept for far longer than her, which gave his smile a strange wideness and a disturbing lack of sanity.

“I hope you had fun out there. I need to show you something.”

It was obviously going to put them both in trouble if they were discovered, but he seemed to be in a rush. He clearly didn’t want to be seen by anyone as he pressured her to follow him —she didn’t want to take more risks than necessary, but she was afraid that she’d regret it even more if she refused—; he kept on looking on both sides to every hallway her turned to.

As he opened the door to new darker wider room, he opened his mouth. “I have one question for you, Seragaki-san… how did you raise the kid on your own? Everyone took it for granted that you took Sei’s dead twin and disposed of him before giving your resignation letter.”

Tae felt the sting of contempt in his voice. “What’s it to you?”

“If I didn’t know about your bitter personality during your old days as a neuroscientist, then I’d assume that the years you’ve spent with him shaped your behavior.”

“… You know nothing of him.”

“Well, I wrote a theory about his Scrap powers before ever meeting him, and I turned out to be mostly correct, so _there’s that_.”

Brushing off his own empty pride, the doctor touched a door that needn’t an ID to open, as a matter of fact, the door was designed to not stand out from the walls of the dark room… however, it wasn’t supposed to be hidden.

The inside of the room wasn’t anything out of the ordinary on first sight, the lab was small and had five individual tables, all empty but… she observed that each one of the tables had on their ends an apparatus  she couldn't recognize (they looked like the scanners used to examine Sei, but not quite), and the were connected to the mechanical walls; and at the end of the room there was a smaller door. The doctor opened that door and waved his hand lightly so she could take a look at what was inside.

It led to a smaller room, a dark vault with green, blue and orange neon lights illuminating the huge body that occupied the small space.

Her heart raced in fright for a second because of the object of their interest: It was a woman’s figure so giant that it looked cramped inside this space, it had long thick and thin cables attached in all different places of its unnatural body… it took Tae a few seconds to realize that the thick ‘cables’ were actually multiple arms sprouting from its back. Ten of them in total.

“Toue’s Allmate?” she questioned Doctor Sakurai, also daunted by the sight.

Tae had recognized the robotic form of the Allmate because she had seen it before during articles on the media. But this was actually the first time she could take a look at it from so close; the texture of its pale skin was incredibly realistic and yet it was far too distant from the exultant and powerful image that she had seen before… this one here was more like an uncanny human corpse turned into a fragile doll. As its eyes were closed, it gave the impression that it was actually sleeping, as a soft electric humming vibrated through its whole body.

“Its name is _Usui_. It was modelled after Sei during the tests of the final models for the Alpha series. This is the reason why Toue wants you to ‘fix’ Sei.” She involuntarily swallowed saliva, observing again the face of the robot: there was a striking resemblance. However, since its hair was distinctively long and brilliant aquamarine, Tae couldn’t help but to associate it with her grandson as well.

The doctor continued: “Not many people know this, even some details had been disclosed from Sei himself, but Usui was built to become ‘the new Sei’. Little by little, we’ve been placing parts of the real Sei inside this artificial body, in hopes of eventually giving him a new ‘life’ through Usui. That is… until Aoba came back.”

“… They haven’t just been preparing him to replace Sei, have they?” Fears she never needed to know came back to her.

“I have to say that it was a terrible decision; they were allured by the idea of reuniting the two users of Scrap who once were born as a single entity, but having so little time to study and dissect his mind, they did a poor job on trying to emulate and transfer parts of his mind to Usui, and in that reckless act, they have corrupted Usui’s system.”

Part of her wasn’t hearing his words, the pent up anger reached its boiling point and all she could ever think about was of the gruesome inhuman tests they could have performed on Aoba, her chest swelling with nausea from merely considering it…

Before she realized it, her hands took a hold on the doctor’s collar, aggressively pulling him down to her height level. “What did you do to Aoba?”

She took him off guard, and he shook his head quickly. “His mind is as good as it was when he was captured, I assure you!” She set him free, but she hadn’t any reason to believe in this claim. “But while it’s affecting Usui and Sei keeps getting weaker, Toue fears for the worst. If Sei was as strong as he was two years ago, he’d be able to overcome the corruption in Usui, and that’s basically why you’re here.”

“They’ve decided to play being God and eventually created something they can’t control anymore. Serves them right!”

“What’s coming after them for what they’ve done —what I’ve done—  cannot be stopped; what’s done it’s done. Do you know why I made you come here, Seragaki-san?”

That’s when Tae looked at the old man dead in the eye, as if she was suddenly given a deadly weapon to use. “… Because you think I can turn Toue’s own plan against him.”

Sakurai nodded adamantly but she wasn’t pleased with the fact that he took it for granted that she’d fully submit to his proposal. This plan could have its perks, she’d give him that, but this man was still keeping secrets from her deliberately, probably would make this whole scheme to benefit his own selfish interests.

She decided to hold back her decision, at least for now. As quick as they were done, he escorted her back to the laboratory and he left her on her own, going off to attend his own pending businesses. He stated that he was taken off charge from being her supervisor, thus someone else would fill in that job… the white sense of dread transmitted by the presence of the Alpha androids that’d supervise her now made it hard for her focus on studying the new lectures made on Sei’s progress during the long period that she’s been absent.

Before she was even done preparing the equipment, Sei came into the lab’s room, feeble but noticeably less pale, sunk asleep in a wheelchair. The Alpha that moved the wheelchair then carried Sei to the examination bed below the scanner so gently it didn’t disturb Sei’s sleep.

Upon a few seconds of finishing her preparations, Tae slowly realized that something was wrong about the air, as if it was poisonous and hard to get through her nose, but also… the Alphas hadn’t done any sort of intervention other than to help Sei get in here. She called out on of them to fetch an instrument, but they remained unresponsive to her voice. They only seemed to observe her through their grinning plain masks, like ghostly statues from a haunted house.

She even felt a faint nausea at the moment she came close to the blindfolded Sei, she was getting sweaty all under the straps on her special lenses. But the sickness immediately disappeared when Sei moved his head, as he was probably just awakened by her presence.

“You’ve been gone for a while…” he said in weak voice, somewhat glad. Tae couldn’t help but to sigh, awakened from her stupor.

“But I’m back. I’ll be a little slower this time though. So bear with me.”

Her injured shoulder did make her work tougher, but as she placed the scanner closer to Sei’s face to lecture his mental activity. She noted how her arms were trembling, the uneasy atmosphere was a harsh obstacle to her duty. But she thought that maybe soon she'd be able to make all of this be over, go back home and live normally for the rest of her days knowing that her grandson would be able to live with the dignity any other human deserved, far away from this place.

She never intended to be overwhelmed by emotion, but there was something like self-loathing because she was thinking only about Aoba while Sei was by her side, living a fate worse than death.

“I’m sorry that this was the life prepared for you. I truly am.” Tae spoke out of the blue, one messy attempt to console herself for her own thoughts. “But you know the truth. You know where are my priorities and how will this end.”

She observed the thin firsts of the subject tense on his lap. “I know how you intend this to end. But… you can’t save him.”

“Excuse me?”

“You can’t save Aoba.”

Her blood froze when she saw the abnormal readings on the screen next to her; she understood that Sei had been using Scrap just now.

Instinctively her eyes darted back at him; definitely there was something dangerously odd about Sei now. She suddenly felt like she needed to be defensive, as her life and sanity could be threatened by anything else that’d go out of her control.

However, Sei remained completely calm and harmless.

“… Why would you say that?” There was no answer, the only sound in the laboratory was the humming of the machines and her own irregular breathing. The sense of unease increased. “I asked you a question.”

And suddenly, an alarm started to echo throughout the halls outside the room. A red light was painting the white room and vanishing with each horrible wail of the siren.

It must’ve been Takatsuki’s move. All Tae had to do now was to wait.

“That lady who entered the Tower… she messed with the wrong machine. She’ll get caught right away.”

“What? Why do you—?”

When Tae turned, she saw the young man lying on his side, looking at her without the blindfold, and she couldn’t help but to feel wordlessly afraid, even if she wore the protective lenses.

“I know, because the real machine she was supposed to be looking for is Toue's personal Allmate.”

Despite deep in fear, she frowned scornful at the thought of Doctor Sakurai. “Usui… ?”

“Yes, but Usui is also, in a way, my _replacement_.” Sei pronounced these words with astounding ease. “For years they have been trying to emulate my abilities with Usui, and they even transferred pieces of me into its body. However, because Usui is part of me, I share a link with it and if I don’t severe it then Usui is going to die with me.”

Tae closed her eyes and clenched her small fist, thinking about Sakurai and how he didn’t bother to tell her that small detail… then again, it would have been useless anyways because she couldn’t have had a way to inform of this to Takatsuki.

As it seemed, everything ultimately depended on Tae.

“… How do you sever that link?”

“ _I don’t intend to sever it_. If I were to be destroyed, I’d take Usui down with me. And there’s only an appropriate way I’d rather to be destroyed.”

“… You _want_ Aoba to do it. But why? Your mind alone will be destroyed, but your body will—”

“—I can’t truly die.” Sei interrupted, there was a new emotive energy vibrating with the brittle voice. “My mind is not… becoming _weaker_ , the burden of my power is only growing heavier and harder to control. It’s like I have lived the same life so many times, and each time I fail to die, there’s a window opened in there and back to me. There’s so many of me, and we all see each other while we’re forced to stay alive. These links built through self-awareness have overpowered me and I need to be destroyed as soon as possible. _It has started already_ , and because of my connection with Usui, the harm is going to spread in ways I can't control. So that’s why…”

Tae had to take a step back in awe. That was too much to take in. In all her studies of neuroscience and her brief escapades to metaphysics, she never considered —or took seriously— the possibility of alternate realities, as Sei had just implied, or could it an ongoing cycle of reincarnation? What reasons could Sei have to lie about this? She couldn’t believe it. But more importantly, _what_ exactly was going to happen if Sei didn’t ‘die’ now?

“You are aware of the danger of keeping your consciousness linked to that Allmate… why not let it go? Why wait until now?”

“It has to be this way.”

Basically, Usui was his hostage and if he couldn’t have things his way, he was going to let hell take over at the expense of everyone who lived under Toue’s power.

“There’s not much time left, so please listen carefully.” Sei looked exhausted, understandable, since he forced himself to talk a lot for too long. “I made my caretakers go to fetch Aoba, and they’ll arrive here shortly… In my room at the top floor I kept a small Allmate dog, but don’t activate it until you come back here. It’s very important that you give it back to Aoba, and fast.”

“You mean… _Ren_? Why?” she knew it was a precious companion for her grandson, but she never wondered what happened to it, assuming it was disposed of at the moment he was captured.

“It’s hard to explain. A part of Aoba’s consciousness was placed inside that Allmate, and without it, Aoba won’t be able to use Scrap.”

She recalled what Koujaku told her about that dreadful moment of defeat and retreat during their first time breaking into Oval Tower. Aoba collapsed while using Scrap on himself for some reason, and the shock of that mistake caused them severe consequences, and when they were ganged up by guards they made a scarce escape thanks to Noiz acting as a distractor. They couldn’t help Aoba, and now, nine months later, they were about to lose their third chance of rescuing him.

Sei wanted something reasonable: the release of death and to stop whatever monstrous catastrophe was about to happen through Usui. But then what?

Koujaku and the others were expecting to find Aoba, and if those caretakers —if they turned out to be the ones she suspected— were to retrieve her grandson, and for some reason they decided to do what Sei wanted, then that’d leave Koujaku and the other men in a tight spot. They’d be in grave danger, and Takatsuki Aoi wouldn't be enough of a distraction. Something bad was bound to happen.

And now, if she did as they said, if Aoba succeeded to destroy Sei, what would happen to Aoba’s mind? Would _the other_ take over Aoba for good? Would she be able to escape the Tower safely with her grandson? What would the caretakers do once Sei was ‘dead’?

She rushed out as the door from the lab opened, and for one second she hesitated to go to the left side of the corridor, where the elevator was. On the right side, she saw guardian dogs —Allmate Doberman dogs—, but they weren’t paying attention to her at all. No, one of them saw her, but didn’t do anything. One of them fell on its side, other started to walk against a wall while other moved its head from left to right… she didn’t question that, as long as she could move around without trouble.

Doors were opening all at the same time, and she was feeling a strange chill cross down her old spine… she walked past a man and he suddenly collapsed on the floor, shaking and sobbing, ignoring her completely. Other guard, she nearly stepped on his foot, he was staring at the ceiling and murmuring things to himself… she even had the guts of snapping her fingers in front of him but he didn’t even know that she was there. The guard laughed for a brief second, but then remained quiet and still while keeping his gaze to the ceiling.

For a moment the old lady stopped on her own will and turned back, tracing her way to the room where Usui was being held. She’d probably beat Doctor Sakurai if she found him on her way. However, with this growing pressure over her shoulders, she didn’t know if she’d be able to even do that. She needed to focus on doing one thing only.

She entered the room with five beds and realized Sakurai wasn’t in here. What could he be doing?

The security in the computers of this room was surprisingly loose, maybe because Sakurai already took his time messing with it, but when she searched through the system, she found Usui’s interior completely exposed, or rather, the scanned image of its brain, so perfectly molded to the likeness of a human brain.

By all means, Usui wasn’t a regular Allmate in any single aspect. It resembled more a human than just an Allmate, and this was probably what the Alpha androids were meant to be all along, however, while she expected Usui to be completely void of personality of its own, Usui’s profiled personality was shared with Sei. While everyone claimed Usui was Toue’s Allmate, it wasn’t what the program was telling her. And then she saw the irregularities unfolding through the data. It must be the corruption that Sakurai was talking about.

It was quite literally ripping apart fragments of Usui’s data very slowly, but over two thirds of the system were still intact. Tae knew that it was mainly messing up with Usui’s Scrap simulator, which was the main concern. And since Sakurai wasn’t anywhere to be seen, Tae decided it was her chance to do what she thought would be the best.

Usui was still connected to Sei, so being here in the first place was against his wishes, however, she decided that there was no need to endanger Aoba any further for Sei’s well-being. There was no point on letting Sei keep Usui alive at the expense of others.

If she couldn’t make Sei let go of Usui, then she’d have to destroy Usui first.

It wasn't guaranteed to solve every problem, but it'd take away Toue most of his power source. It'd give Midorijima a fighting chance.

She tried to use the computer to disconnect Usui from the Tower’s system, but she gave up after eight tries. She thought about disconnecting Usui manually, but she wasn’t tall enough to reach for the cables sticking from the giant Allmate’s head, she even took off her lab coat and threw it in the air to reach them, but as she had suspected, she cables were tightly locked there.

When she went back to the computer, she felt a headache pulsing like a heart inside her skull, and the pain went far enough as to make her stop moving for a minute.

“Easy, you can do it. You need to focus”, she told herself, trying to recover from that surge of agony. She was lucky of having made it this far so she had to be quick.

If she couldn’t disconnect Usui by regular means, then she had to be a little more creative.

There was the corruption still ongoing through the system, maybe she could make some use of that. This corruption was like a virus eating and tearing the insides of Usui; Tae wasn’t bad with updated computers, but she’d love to have a helpful hand with her, but if she could manipulate that virus to accelerate the destruction of Usui and control the damage to the masses. If she was fast enough, she could achieve that.

She wasn’t as swift as she was during her youth, but she knew what she was doing, although it proved to be just as difficult as she had expected. The virus was momentarily frozen and she started to reprogram it, which took her longer than she wanted, exhausting her nearly to a breaking point. The stress built up inside made her feel like she spent hours in here, even if only a few minutes had passed.

She then unleashed the virus in the system and effectively started to attack the rest of Usui’s system at great speed, noisy alarms painted the screen in red and Tae’s headache came back at full force, blinding her for one second. This time it felt like a brick dropped on her head.

While swaying lightly back, she stared back at the red screens of the computers, and she noticed something. A warning message from the system, perhaps?

No, something was weird about what was written in that dim orange font.

_… GRANNY, IS THAT YOU?_

She was heaving while her sight blurring, sweat felt thick and disgusting around her neck, while a sharp humming pierced her ears like long thick needles. She felt so sick she forgot how to breathe properly, how to stand still and she backed away from the room while everything was violently spinning, never-ending vertigo.

By the change of the lighting, Tae guessed she must have left the lab where Usui was hidden, and then she fell on her knees, hurting her already injured shoulder even further. She was so nauseated and pained, she felt like vomiting on the spot. She probably did, but  there was something she noticed that kept her from passing out immediately.

While she stared at her hands on the seemingly distant floor, her eyes fooled her into believing that black gooey puddles growing from the smooth white tiles on the floor, but it took only a blink of her eyes to see that the disgusting liquid wasn’t truly there.

Her sobbing went unheard, her eye bags were soaking wet and her whole weakened body was shaking uncontrollably, but now she could sense like someone was standing next to her, looking down on her.

“What have you done?” a muffled voice talked to her, but she couldn’t hear the rest of it, as her mind reached its limit, making her fall coldly on the ground, defeated and ultimately ignorant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Sakurai who exists in this story has nothing to do with the creator of Kirby and SSB, sorry (I couldn't change his name this far in the story).  
> Tae using advanced computers shouldn't be weird. In Clear's Drama CD is stated that she knew how to do maintanance to Clear's system while Aoba didn't know jack shit (although I don't assume she's great at what she does, I'm sure she did what she did with the best of intentions).  
> ***  
> Thanks a lot for your patience and pretty much for sticking with me despite my irregular updates. I know that I hardly deserve you, but you're basically the reasons why I push myself this far and why did I promise myself to finish this project. Thank you so much.  
> The second half of the flashback will come to you next week, I swear, because I just finished it and it's done. But I will probably come back with more art :O


	27. Before Hell. II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's the 2nd half of the flashback.  
> Also, there are some new illustrations I made at the end of the chapter, just so you know.

“We probably don’t have enough time... Those Allmates won’t be holding them off for long. They’ve got a very resourceful hacker destroying their system as we speak.”

“Funny, you don’t seem to be blaming me for this delay.”

“… No. I’d just be wasting my breath. Someone tried to mess up with the main power source of the Jail, but that was merely a distraction from the get go.” 

Two men knew their ways inside-out the complexity of corridors, they passed unnoticed and cleverly travelled their way to the hidden laboratories of the Tower. They could have come earlier today, but something about today felt out of place in their little lives as they rushed to their objective. None discussed this strange novelty until one of them casually addressed it.

“I just thought it was weird. Today I woke-up and felt alien, as if I slept in the wrong room and the wrong bed. I know, it sounds like waking up from a dream, but I don't know, because you know that we _can't_ dream, right? It’s like my brain is telling me that yesterday I was living a completely different reality, but I understand that it isn't true… It feels so gross now that I think about it.” The taller one said, making his bespectacled partner sigh, which was a natural response to pretty much anything longer than one sentence.

“… You’re talkative today. Are you done?”

“Yeah, I’m done.”

The vigilance chamber only had one security guard watching the screens, and he threatened them with a tazer gun, but the taller man quickly disarmed him and immobilized him with a chokehold until he was unconscious. It was hard to believe how much they lessened security staff in a matter of months.

The room they entered was modest in space and equipment, the screens had a close observation on the subject’s face and other was reading his vital signs. It was a strangely surreal view, and it awakened something unexpected within them.

They went through the door and found him strapped in bed, the blue hair had lost its vibrant color and the skin was almost as white as the bedsheets, if they didn’t see the movement in his chest they could have assumed Aoba wasn’t asleep. However, the white plastic muzzle covering half of his face just gave him an otherworldly aspect to his sleeping face.

Trip couldn’t help but to lean close and seem pleased.

“It’s almost as if I didn’t imagine it at all.” His hand brushed a few blue locks of hair on the subject’s forehead. “It’s been a while, Aoba…”

On the other hand, Virus couldn’t help but to ponder a little, unable to ignore the strange happenings that had taken place lately, and he kept on pondering while his partner in crime removed the straps on Aoba’s weakened limbs. “… How curious.”

“What is it?”

“I remember that yesterday we were living away from Midorijima. We were living our happy lives together with Aoba-san, I recall… But it’s just like you said: today I woke up with an annoying feeling of unfamiliarity with this life as well.”

“Huh, so you were listening after all… There’s no way it could’ve been Usui, right?”

“It makes no sense since we’re both immune. Although Sei did urge us to be quick with retrieving Aoba-san, didn’t he? It’s the first time we’ve ever seen our Sei press us like this.” He stopped, helped to undo the last strap on Aoba’s right hand, also carefully pulling out the catheters from the younger man’s skin, otherwise Trip could be too rough. “In any case, we’d be taking our leave from Midorijima as fast as we’re done here.”

“… I wonder what it is though.” Trip lifted the unconscious man’s legs and upper back and cupped him easily against his chest. Virus flinched, remembering something buried on the back of his head. “I’d like to play with Aoba, but it isn’t any fun like this. He’s far too gone to make it any fun.”

“I wouldn’t underestimate him. The reports I’ve snatched mention an extremely _savage_ behavior at times. Our dear Aoba-san literally bit one of the researcher’s nose off. It took some time to retrieve the nose. That’s what the muzzle is for.”

However, Trip shrugged it off unworried.

“We could make him wear a prettier one later.”

“Anyways, we must hurry before they—”

He only turned his face for one second, maybe less.

The bony pale fingers had grown long nails; ' _The caretakers probably forgot to cut them_ ', that’s what Virus thought as he saw one of them deeply inserted inside Trip’s ear. What followed next was one of the most distressing scenes he that had ever witnessed.

Trip, despite the surprise attack, quickly tried to throw away the smaller man, but he locked his legs around Trip’s torso. While running to one side and another Trip tried to slam Aoba’s body against the walls and with his hands yank him off, but some crude strength surged from the apparently frail body and it just wouldn't let go. They were screaming and droplets of blood sprinkled everywhere.

Virus took his chance to intervene and yanked the long blue hair to separate them. The hair was supposed to be extremely sensitive and the pain should be equivalent to that of pulling from someone’s nerves directly. _This_ Aoba growled in a nearly animalistic manner, probably a rabid wolf that has been kept inside a cage for far too long. Virus pulled really hard, but Aoba didn’t let go of Trip too easily, as skin from the left side of his partner’s face was torn like a plum's peel.

While Virus's hand had a firm grip on Aoba’s blue hair, he immediately knew that he wouldn’t have the power to fight such a beast off. In a quick spin, Aoba grabbed Virus’s arm and with a forceful push granted by the force of gravity, bent the arm with an audible 'crack'.

It was only for some moments when he truly contemplated the true terror of facing a certain death, but that’s all he did: he contemplated it. In a strange manner, his mind was completely detached from the fact that this new Aoba was going to kill him and there was nothing he could do about it. In fact, there was nothing he could feel about it. This wasn’t loss of hope, this wasn’t fear, he simply accepted the idea that he was going to die this way. It wasn’t different from that time in which he accepted he’d live this life, or when they transplanted him new eyes or when he was selected as Sei’s caretaker. Liberty was fickle concept, and it didn’t truly matter to him as long as he could get something out of every situation. So, _yes_ , it was a pity to die like this, but he always adapted to the inevitable. He always did.

Inside a fraction of a second he fell to the floor and looked into the eyes of his own killer.

 _No eyes_. Just empty sockets. Hollow and cold. For a fraction of a second he felt scared in the same way a child version of himself would have been. He never thought he'd ever have to feel like that again.

Aoba was suddenly yanked away and Virus witnessed how the muzzle suddenly came off from his face, pale dirty teeth bared when Trip failed to restrain him properly. Trip’s ear was leaking blood, he was probably still disoriented and didn't notice right away. It was too late.

The teeth claimed flesh from Trip’s neck and the man went down fighting, hitting the Aoba over and over again, but it simply wouldn’t let go. It was just like a rabid dog. Trip suddenly fell down, his struggle growing weaker.

Virus jumped again, and used his healthy arm to lock Aoba’s tightly, effectively pulling him away from the twitching body of his partner. But Virus didn’t stop squeezing his arm around the neck of the monster Aoba became despite it trying to claw to his face violently. Tighter, he squeezed with all his strength as he caught a glimpse to what remained of Trip’s gored out face. He lost the cold restraint that should remind him to stop squeezing after Aoba’s hands stopped scratching.

Suddenly, the door of the room was violently slammed open, Virus instinctively let go of the unconscious monster.

“AOBA!” As the man in the red kimono came in with sword drawn, Trip stepped away in acknowledgement that he had no power to resist. Koujaku didn’t come alone, there was also that other Ribsteez Leader, Mink. Both seemed to have brought other men, but they would be waiting outside to protect them in case any guards from the Tower should come.

“What’ve you done to Aoba?! Wha—?”

Koujaku of course was the one who ran to Aoba first, a strong man with an overprotective loving nature, as Virus recalled. But then, Koujaku slowly snapped out of his anger and noticed all the blood, so much of it smeared over the face of his old friend. It was easy to read the trauma working its way under Koujaku's skin, almost hilarious. He was making the connections between the nasty blood on Aoba and the disfigured head of Trip; his mouth was now gapping in shock.

Mink, who seemed the be completely composed, he leaned next to Trip, but even Virus could tell from his distance that it’d be pointless to try and save him. The blood was rapidly pooling underneath him and Koujaku stepped off at the moment it reached the soles of his shoes, carrying Aoba in his arms.

Aoba’s eyelids were half-open still, eyes still whole and clouded, Virus noted.

“… He’s barely breathing and lost a lot of blood. You’d need a breathing tube so he can make it to the Tower’s clinic.” Mink grunted looking up at Virus; he was taking off his thick coat.

“Leave him.” Virus said, his voice was still very calm, and Mink flinched slightly, has removed his coat completely, clearly intending to use it to stop the bleeding, but in the last moment Virus’s icy stare punished him for doing so.

“He’s going to die.”

“— _Leave_ him.”

The tension built inside the bloodstained room grew so deathly, and Koujaku was showing signs of restlessness that demanded Mink to hurry up and leave this place at once. Mink didn’t seem to be a caring man, but he left the jacket pressed on the bloody neck, expecting Virus to take over, and that spoke volumes of the kind of man he truly was. Virus had to comply if that meant they’d leave, so he pressed the thick cloth on the wound of his partner, immediately feeling the repulsive warm liquid gushing to his palm through the soaked fabric.

Before those men left with Aoba, Virus met their stares for the last time and truly felt… disgusted by what they transmitted to him.

_Empathy? Now, that was hilarious._

The sound of the emergency siren echoed back to the room, the chaos unfolding throughout the Oval Tower had just begun, and since he didn’t bother to explain the situation to both of Aoba’s rescuers, he could only guess what was coming for them after their leave… that was, assuming they’d be able to leave at all. He admitted that through the dire situations he got caught in, he felt a tiny sting of curiosity about the things that would follow after Sei’s failed plan.

One thing was for sure: he’d probably have to watch these events develop alone from now and on. That’s what he thought when strength failed his healthy arm and stopped pressing his partner’s wound.

Virus stared down in detail the only visible eye of the red face and the gurgling that bubbled from his gapping mouth, Trip was clearly in no need for any sort of first aid. He was nearly dead. There was a weak movement on his chest, but soon it’d be no more. He didn’t know exactly what was in his mind when he spoke to him for the last time, but later he even wondered why he wasted his time on taking in the sight of the slow suffering he underwent.

“I told you to not underestimate him.” Those were the last words he said to his partner, the only one he ever had and he’d ever miss.

****

While regaining her consciousness he first realization was that her body was lifted by two strong arms and her legs were hanging limp as they ran at a great speed. Her eyes opened and she saw the black gas mask that usually covered Clear’s face.

Common sense was telling her that Clear had come to find her and they were in a situation in which he needed to carry her out of Oval Tower. For some strange reason, she passed out and couldn’t remember why or when. Her recent memory was a blank page and it felt as if her head was hit by a hammer, the hurt pounding angrily when she tried to piece her story back together.

She had no time to worry, Clear took them to the dark underground levels of the building—the parking lot, maybe?—after swiftly avoiding guards within the chaos… she still felt disoriented when she was carefully put inside a van, and Clear called her name repeatedly, asking her how many of his fingers she could count and whatever he came up with. She brushed him off, saying that she was knocked unconscious and she’d be fine.

But she knew she wasn’t. Something was very wrong.

Tae tried to recall: Sei was with her before she passed out, and she had the feeling that they spoke of something important… why couldn’t she remember what was it?

Before she realized it, Koujaku and Mink with a couple of their men came running to the van. It seemed like they were followed, but they rapidly got inside the van, one of the men readying the engine before making the run. Koujaku seemed to be carrying something long and thin in his arms, although she was still half-dazed, she managed to recognize him right away and her heart started to beat faster.

Koujaku sat next to her while placing Aoba carefully on the cushioned seats, but she first noticed the bloody mess. Her heart froze right there. It was smeared all over his face, still freshly streaked on his white hospital clothes, and she also noticed his fingertips were as red and moist.

“… What happened to him?” she breathed, Clear was seemingly just as alarmed, even checking on him closely for any injuries, but Koujaku was visibly unprepared to give a response, perhaps out of fear of how it might sound. Mink however, sitting on the passenger's seat simply made a gesture pointing at Aoba while looking back at Tae:

“The blood is not his.”

As the last man who entered the van slammed the door shut and quickly the car started to run at an ungodly speed, and from her window she could see guards rushing after them with big Allmate dogs…

She had to allow her weight fall on Koujaku’s side, given the sharp curves the vehicle was taking, and she made a mental note on the lack of security belts, but she quickly preoccupied herself more about the young men in the van. Koujaku was very tense and his eyes were looking at the road instead of his unconscious friend, but Tae could tell that he was in shock. Whatever covered Aoba in blood, it made Koujaku this way, she feared.

“Master, are you awake?” Clear murmured softly while kneeling awkwardly on his seat to take a closer look.

“Stop. Don’t invade his personal space too much. It’ll be better to not overwhelm him.” Mink grunted, making the masked man to back away a little. “And the same goes for you, Red.”

Koujaku snarled in annoyance. “That’s surprisingly considerate coming from you. And _where_ am I supposed to sit, then?”

“I’ll take care of him. Go and sit with Clear.” Tae spoke out.

“Ahh— Tae-san? Are you sure?”

“I’m not the one who’s trembling in fear, you know. A little blood doesn’t scare me.” She knew she was talking big, but she was right about Koujaku being scared. It wasn’t just the blood, but something else perturbed him. She’d save her questions for later.

When they sat him next to her she noticed that her grandson’s eyes were half open and timidly returned the visual contact. His eyes were unusually dark, but it could be because of the lack of light inside the van.

She felt an icy chill run through her back and arms, knowing that those eyes didn’t quite feel like they belong in there. She felt like she was staring into the eyes of a stranger.

What if her grandson was no longer the man she raised? What if the things they put him through changed him beyond recognition? She never gave much thought to that possibility, and now it was scaring her.

“Do you know who I am?” she whispered as those strange eyes stared at her, but they gave no answer.

With minutes that felt like hours, Tae noticed that the noise of the city had calmed down, as if everything went to sleep, except this perpetually nocturnal city wasn’t designed to sleep. It has quieted down, eventually only the engine of the vehicle was keeping them from being in complete silent. No music, no party rumble, no excited voices… Even the lights seemed to stop exuding their painful intensity.

The van slowed down a little, she was able to look out on her window the streets, and then she realized that there were hardly any people on the normally lively streets; their behavior was strange, but she also noticed a faint cloud of mist covering the asphalt.

She tried to remember.

The questions were only making her headache swell inside, she remembered that Sei needed Aoba so he could be ‘destroyed’, but something else was making her tremble with anxiety.

_‘You can’t save Aoba.’_

The words reverberated in her consciousness and she looked down at her grandson’s eyes once more, still quiet and unreadable, disturbingly subdued like an animal that anticipated the right moment to move.

“Stop the van!” Mink ordered, and the driver obeyed right away, making her flinch as if something had gone wrong. They were almost at the walls of the city. She noticed that the air was chilling and fog was thickening.

Koujaku shifted from his seat and looked through the window, mist making it hard at first to identify the shape of the Tower at the distance. They waited and waited. Nothing was happening.

“What’s the meaning of this? Wasn’t it supposed to fall apart? Mink!” Koujaku shouted, but Mink was just as unimpressed.

“… They must have intercepted the bombs. It’s the only explanation…” he muttered, clearly upset about it. This should be the second time they failed, taking into account the first time they intruded into Oval Tower. Mink had explained to her the situation in the past, but she had the feeling that there was more to it than the explosives being deactivated.

“What are we gonna do? Toue’s men are just going to come after us right away! They must have uncovered our base by now if they found the explosives!”

“No. They won’t.”

“Tae-san?”

“Look at the streets; haven’t you noticed something weird since we escaped from the Tower’s parking lot? Besides, we haven’t been followed; something wrong must have happened to Oval Tower while we left, and it’d be for the best if we hurry while we still can.”

Mink frowned, scrutinizing the old lady with his glare. “Is there something else you need to share?”

“… This can be attributed to a malfunction that was bound to happen in their system, and right now it's going to be hard for Toue to make a massive move; the Tower didn't blow up as you planned, but we might as well take this in our advantage. But let's not make bets, we leave Platinum Jail now: whatever messed up the Tower's system is also affecting the rest of the Jail as we speak.”

“Very well.” Mink replied sternly. By his looks, he’d probably interrogate her later on the matter.

It was time to restart the car engine again, but the driver didn’t move for a few seconds, not out of hesitation, but he seemed to be confused for a moment, looking at everyone around him as if he wasn’t sure what was he supposed to do.

Then, when she turned his face back on the road, she saw what everyone else saw: an ominous figure standing in front of the van, features have been blurred by the new wave of fog. For all they cared, it could be just one stray person who didn’t comprehend what was in front of them.

There was still a distance between them, but when the driver unwittingly touched the horn twice for the pedestrian to move. Mink slapped the driver for such carelessness, but it was unknown if this would actually draw attention. They started the car and simply pulled back and forth to pass by the peculiar obstacle.

And they did, but by the corner of the eye, Tae looked at the pedestrian more closely from her window.

It didn’t have a face. Flesh gray and blue like a corpse’s, gapping black hole where a mouth should be, but it could _never_ be confused with a face.

For the brief second she glanced at it, she thought she had gone insane. The thing she just saw wasn’t human, and in her heart she couldn’t imagine anyone twisted enough to construct something so perverse in appearance.

“Did you see that?” she asked, her voice was weak with the impression. Clear proceeded to ask what was she talking about, but she immediately brushed her own question away.

When they arrived at their destined exit, an old checkpoint they have claimed after infiltrating successfully, there were some of Mink’s crew awaiting for them, waving their energetic hands at them, almost as if urging them to come faster. Something was definitely wrong. They were all covering their mouths or faces.

“We still don’t know if there’s any sort of drug in this fog, be careful to not breathe too much or anything at all.” Tae said as Koujaku carefully took her grandson into his arms, not before Clear promptly placed his scarf around the Aoba in a way of prevention. Everyone else used their own shirts or jacket’s collar to cover their noses and mouths.

Tae, of course, used her own sleeve to cover her mouth, but her fabric felt incredibly thin exposed to the sudden cold air. But as fast as she entered the gate, Mink’s men rose their weapons to the security guards they expected to have followed them.

She blindly had expected them to be security guards, but as she briefly turned around, she didn’t see anyone or anything after them, but they still held their guns up in warning. “Step back! Drop your weapons!” they exclaimed, but Tae didn’t see anyone at the farthest visible range. Those men were panicking and screaming at invisible things and she knew whatever it was they were seeing it was coming closer.

She was taken inside with the others, then she heard gunshots and more yelling, making her feel even worse than before and Mink passed next to her, seemingly upset and in a rush. The gunfire wasn’t supposed to happen, and she had better reasons to think that whatever caused them was far worse than merely Toue’s men. She came after Clear and Koujaku, who still carried her bloodied grandson. The men were all commenting on the strange fog that suddenly appeared inside Platinum Jail’s dome, fearing that it was perhaps some sort of biological new weapon, but she tried to discourage them from jumping to those conclusions.

Something else was odd about this, and she was confident that it had something to do with the reason why she passed out, and the fact that she couldn’t remember what was it was eating her from within. Sei had something to do with it, but _what was it_? All she could recall was Sei speaking to her without the blindfold, but then there was a slimy sensation on her hands and bright violent red screaming at her.

But it wasn’t the time to ponder about these things. The men were nervous and some of them whispered among themselves, hesitation and anxiety showing on their tired faces. But then another hard sound shook their ground and more yelling alerted them that danger was nearby.

Koujaku’s immediate reaction was to leave Aoba to Clear’s care and get in front of Tae in order to protect her.

Men screamed coming from the main entrance, and suddenly everyone started to move blindly to the exit at the other end of the complex. Tae didn’t see them, but heard the heaviness of the iron door shutting in a rush. The men who used to guard that entrance ran through the corridor past Tae and the others, all of them scared to death.

Tae then turned and saw Mink coming at the end, walking backwards while holding a machine gun, his whole body in great tension.

“What? What happened there? What did you see?” Koujaku asked, more distraught than confused at the violent commotion.

“Take everyone else out! Don’t turn back!” Mink ordered to the rest of his men, one could tell he lost the cool in his voice, and Tae looked back at Clear with Aoba in arms and she moved her head to tell him to follow the men. Clear hesitated for a moment, but he was trusted to be the most capable of protecting Aoba, so he quickly nodded and retreated.

But Tae stayed behind for a moment, not because she thought that she stood a chance against whatever was coming, but she had the misfortune of looking back at Mink and Koujaku while they argued with each other. She was the first one to notice.

The very same sensation of dread and surrealism she had when the van passed past that ‘pedestrian’, Tae felt a terrible chill that could make her body yield, but with a blast of her own will power she shouted at both gang leaders to look out. The creature that stood right before them was huge and taken straight out of a nightmare, it’s size was so overwhelming it casted a shadow so large it erased its own features; there was only that monstrous black shadow, extending its multiple arms while inviting madness.

Koujaku drew his sword and Mink raised his machine gun at the thing that approached them in ominous silence. Even the atmosphere inside the corridor had thickened; suddenly every sound seemed to get swallowed by the overwhelming prescence of the giant of ten arms. In that moment Tae was unable to understand what the men were yelling at her, fear alive in their eyes.

When she looked again at the great abnormal figure and for a moment she realized that those bright artificial eyes were staring down at her; they made her so sick and helpless, she felt like she was getting crushed by something invisible coiling around her, but a small part of her consciousness was telling her that those sensations were not real. She could tell herself everything she could, but her body wouldn't respond, as if she was as frail as an eggshell. She couldn't stop looking at those eyes, she realized.  She's never seen those eyes before, but the shape of their bearer was something she finally recognized.

It was the Allmate called _Usui_ , and Tae didn't understand why did she feel so ill and sad that Usui appeared in this place. _Yes, she felt sad, but why?_

Koujaku reached to her as if telling her to run away, so he gave his back to the monster while Mink faced it alone. Tae didn’t want to be paralyzed by fear, but she couldn’t help it no matter how much she screamed inside her mind. Then the deafening sound of the machine gun started to pierce the air, Mink had started to fire.

Numerous shots made violent impact to the ceiling and the upper side of the creature’s tall figure, but they barely made it budge. The firing continued as they stepped back. Koujaku couldn’t take it anymore and simply picked Tae up in his arms to carry her as he ran. Mink followed quickly. For the short seconds that followed she tried to shake off her dazed condition.

They reunited with the rest of the group, most of them were already outside of the wall’s checkpoint awaited by another pair of vans ready to part through the forested field. Clear was still carrying Aoba, so Tae felt relieved for a second.

She realized right away that they needed to prevent to be followed by that monstrous figure even if it meant eradicating it before knowing for sure what it was. Fear would be their only drive.

Koujaku gently put her back on her feet asking her if she could manage on her own, but she was the one to dismiss him, feeling surprised by her own recovery. From afar they could still see the large strange figure coming towards them, it walked very slowly with all ten arms extended. Mink kept on using up whatever remained of his ammo even if it only meant delaying it.

“Somebody close the door! Don’t let it get out!” Mink yelled at his men on the building’s garage, but they quickly protested against it, wanting to wait for him to come too.

But it was an instant in which Mink let down his guard, Usui moved swiftly, almost gliding its enormous body and it easily brushed the man aside. Koujaku raised his blade in warning but swung too soon and it struck Usui, visibly cutting part of its torso between the multiple arm joints. It didn’t bleed, but the sword’s edge got stuck momentarily, leaving Koujaku defenseless.

Usui looked quite different from the images of magazines and social media, where it was presented as elegant and smooth, this one looked painfully ill and drained of all bright colors, and it also wore a very simplistic white dress that barely covered its voluptuous body. But Tae had no time to make mental notes on the subject. It was still looking straight at her, those blank artificial eyes which had no reason or life, but they still stared at her.

‘ _It’s coming after me_.’ Tae thought, and immediately replied to that reasoning with a dread she couldn't shake off: ' _I can't let it come for Aoba too_.' Moving behind Koujaku and barely sliding between the giant Allmate and the wall, she ran past Mink, who stood petrified.

Close to the end of the end of the hallway there was an extinctor and she didn’t hesitate to grab it and lift it above her head. It was heavy, but she wasn’t in a state of mind in which she could worry about the weight hurting her arm.

The robotic doll was gliding with uncanny fastness but because of the wound provoked by Koujaku just recently, its body was bent to the side in a strange way, only making its approach far more sinister. Tae had no qualms at using all her force to throw the extinctor at Usui, barely bruising its abdomen. She turned to the left corridor and ran again.

Maybe she could trick it into entering a room with her and then she could get out and quickly lock it up? It wasn’t a reliable plan, but if nobody could help her then that was the best she could do.

She found an open door that led inside a small office with a small desk and computer. She could perhaps throw the chair to Usui and buy herself enough time to complete her small plan. Her bones were already cracking with exhaustion, but she could hold on just for a little longer.

Tae stepped to the corner of the office and observed as the giant doll glided in, at all times the eyes pinned on her. The multiple arms were outstretched towards Tae, but she nervously lifted the chair and prepared to throw it.

Usui didn’t flinch when the chair hit its body, but Tae didn’t waste her time to run to the other side of the room. She didn’t expect Usui to react so fast. One of the arms on the lowest part of its back grasped the collar from Tae’s dress, pulling her.

Her thoughts raced, her body hurt and she wasn’t sure anymore what else to do. Use her own fists to fight off the giant Allmate? Another cold hand grabbed her shoulder and a third one grabbed her chin, a fourth one grasped Tae’s wrist as she was about to struggle.

Then Mink barged into the office, Koujaku quickly followed screaming Tae’s name in grave concern. The first thing she registered right after was Mink wielding a large knife in his hand, and she never closed her eyes when Mink swiftly slashed the hand that restrained Tae’s wrist. She used this chance to wriggle her way out of Usui’s hands as Mink fiercely tackled the giant Allmate. Koujaku took Tae’s hand and they waited momentarily outside the room, and it didn’t take second before Mink caught up with them.

“Get out of here!” Mink angrily exclaimed, as they heard how he threw a small metallic object far back to the room where Usui remained. Tae knew she had to cover her ears now.

There was a loud boom. The force of the explosion was large enough to send a wave that made the ground shake, but Koujaku picked her up in his arms again—much to her annoyance— and they managed to get out.

“That was unnecessarily reckless.” Mink grunted as they stepped to the garage of the building, his gang members were all relieved that the three of them were safe. Again, she had to make Koujaku let her walk on her own, her pride suffered a lot of flogging today with so many men carrying her around all the time. She looked up at the leader of Scratch with a scowl.

“Admittedly, I was reckless, but It came after me. I couldn’t draw that thing to Aoba.”

“What in the world was _that thing_?”

“… I think that was Usui.”

“ _Usui_? Toue’s mascot? And why was it after you?”

“If I knew I’d tell you.”

She was telling the truth. She had previously established with this man that she wouldn’t conceal any information she had in order to help their mutual cause. Koujaku shook his head, then urged them to enter the van.

“There’s no point in discussing this now. You threw a grenade to that thing, so that’s the end of the story! We must go back to safety and help Aoba.” He couldn’t have said it better, but even if it was true, nothing would erase the fact that something big and dangerous had just unraveled itself within Platinum Jail, and Tae knew that the memories she lost were the key of understanding what just happened.

She entered the first van where Clear was with Aoba, still motionless, still soiled with dried blood; she now needed to deal with it, whatever became of her family or what was left of it.

Curiously, his eyes were still half-open, staring to nothing. Maybe he was swaying in and out of his consciousness. Koujaku sat next to Tae, but his eyes were fixed on Aoba. “… How is he?” he asked with a tired look.

“Master is acting strangely. He doesn’t seem to be listening to anything said to him.” Clear responded, voice gave away his heartbreak. “He is not okay.”

Tae simple sighed and bent closer to her grandson to check him up since nobody else would. The car started and ran while she made a closer inspection on Aoba’s face. His pupils were dilated, breathing was fast, and the skin was cold and sweaty to the touch, as if the body was willing to wash away the blood stains.

“As soon as we’re back, we’re putting him under observation and to clear his body from any drugs still inside his system. Only time will tell how great the damage is.”

“… Y-yeah.”

“Later I want you to tell me what happened when you found Aoba, understood?” she looked back at Koujaku, but she didn't want to give him a false sensation of comfort. He was deeply affected by what happened to Aoba, and it was hardly fair to push him further, but this was the only way to understand what were they dealing with. “I don’t want you to spare any details. It's for his well-being.”

“I know, I know… but is it really? If you find out, will it be able to help Aoba?”

“I have to believe it will. I'll never know if you don't tell me, Koujaku.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY  
> Are you still reading? Good. This was literally the longest chapter I've written so far. I hope that I did some justice to the portrayal of Virus and Trip, because I'm inherently bad at writing characters I deeply hate.  
> Thanks a lot for all you kind comments and kudos and sharing the story to your friends and grandparents because that means a lot to me and, as I said hundreds of times already: you are the reason why I've come this far. You guys are amazing!


	28. End A. The Reverberating Of The Fairy Tale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I want to apologize in advance to the people who left really kind comments in the chapter I erased because since i had to erase the first version of End A, all the comments are also gone, and I'm very sorry for that. So many things changed in just three months, and I would have finished this editing faster if I still had a laptop, which I don't for the moment, and that's why I have to use one of the computers of my dad's office, which is a mac and i usually suck at using macs. I'm sorry, but those things were out of my control.
> 
> Also, it's funny how in just three months I decide to completely change the outcome of End A, mostly because I ended up feeling like it was incomplete and it was terribly anti-climatic because i tried to rush the endings. I want every ending to feel just as valid as the other one, and the previous version didn't do any of that. Hopefully this will do a greater justice to what I previously intended to make. Also, endings are going to cover up a lot of things, so they're much longer than regular chapters.
> 
> And finally, repeating the same statement I made back then: everyone is an asshole in this chapter.

It made sense now. The foreign piece of meat that found its way inside his mouth belonged to Desire’s bitten neck. But… when did he…?

“What the hell are you even thinking about? Do you have any fucking idea of what have you done?” Desire gasped, clearly distressed and angered.

Words trembled before coming out from his blood flavored mouth, feeling apathetic instead of fearful. A sudden coolness started to poor down on his head… he understood this wasn’t the time to hesitate.

“… I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

The carbon-copy of Aoba struggled to get back on his feet, stumbling pathetically while trying to stop the apparently bleeding. His gold glowing eyes were burning with hatred, body language gave away the ill-intent. “Stop fucking around. _Just fucking stop_. I know you that don’t give a fuck anymore! If Aoba’s words couldn’t reach you, then mine won’t do it either!”

Desire ran and tried to attack, blinded with rage, but Desire was too slow here, and he managed to dodge him easily. It was like he could foretell every single violent move, which stroke him as odd. He just couldn’t stop thinking about Desire’s words.

“But _I am_ Aoba.” He muttered, staring down at the tired double. The shining eyes widened as he held a dumbfounded expression.

“… _What_?”

“I am Aoba, don’t you see?”

“You gotta be fucking kidding me…” Desire chuckled drily, shaking his head while holding his hand on the wounded neck. Then he snapped. “You are not him! You’re not Aoba! How can’t you understand this? You are NOT him!”

Aoba lowered his face, still staring back at Desire. It was so cold inside his body. “… I don’t believe you.”

“What? Now’s not the fucking time for denial and your general _fuckedupness_ …!” Desire then relaxed his scowling face, and then gave way to a crooked smile. It was a façade; Desire was trying his best to conceal the fear and despair with a cool act. “Or maybe… you have fully consumed that idiot? Yeah… that’d explain a thing or two. But it doesn’t matter now… the fact that remains is that you have ruined everything.” The wet red hand of Desire tried to reach for him, but he stepped back in time to see the trembling fist close before his eyes.

The echo that lived within this black void didn’t match with their words. There were long whimpers and distorted gasps that could be heard from everywhere, but there was nothing here besides himself and the one who represented Aoba’s Desire.

He felt so cold inside, he couldn’t even feel his own heart beating within him. All of this was truly just happening in his head. It made sense. It should make much sense to feel so cold and empty, because his own physical body wasn’t involved. It SHOULD make sense…

Desire showed his teeth. “You murdered him, you raped him, you devoured him countless of times… and then you choose to block everything away? But you’re something else completely, aren’t you?”

“You’re lying.” He refuted with a bitter taste in his mouth and the emptiness carving an indescribable pain from the inside of the walls of his being. It was enough. This had been prolonged for far too long.  “I am Aoba. That’s what I am, and you’re not welcome here… just go away.” He grunted as his own fear resurfaced through his low voice. There was a roar. In one instant, everything around him awakened with a pulse.

There was an angry pulse vibrating through the air.

_It was time to put an end to everything._

_And it was Desire the one standing in the way._

_Once he was gone, everything would turn for the better… he could go back and this nightmare would be over…_

“This is where I live, you asshole! You’re not taking this away from me again!”

The growling tore through the invisible walls of the darkness surrounding them. And that’s when Desire flinched, as he stared to another direction, conscious of the new threat that came into being inside this dark place.

It was colossal, and its claws and teeth glimmered with white and red, and Desire stood defiant, one last demonstration of his pointless bravery…

Aoba’s Desire didn’t belong here anymore.

One of the claws, as big as a chair, struck down and bluntly forced him to whatever ground existed in this dark world within his own mind. The large mouth with fangs as big as kitchen knives was nearing to the body of the struggler.

The one known as Desire was fighting against the weight of the enormous claw, but it was useless, the maw coming closer to his head. “No… you can’t do this to me! You can’t—!”

There was no screaming, just a very loud crunch and then a snap. Aoba stared at it, the body being lifted by the claws while being devoured bite by bite like a dead animal at the mercy of their predator.

But such a gruesome sight wasn’t being processed by his mind, because in these depths he was in full control of the truth: none of this was real and there was no point on questioning it. Nothing could touch him anymore.

He was free. He could return home now.

But why wasn’t he feeling at ease yet? Was it because of the things Desire told him?

 _No, they were all lies._ Desire would have done and said anything to validate his existence.

****

When he opened his eyes again, he remembered everything perfectly well. His final encounter with Desire lasted only a few minutes, but he had no idea how much time it consumed in the real world. He breathed out and moved his arms to get up from the floor, noticing a peculiar sound that resembled the whimpering of a dog… But everything else was so quiet. There was no low humming or labored breathing.

It was dark and it didn’t stink anymore and there was a very faint blue light coming from the lamps that hung from the lab’s ceiling. Had the energy of this tower been restored?

Perhaps the demise of Desire had caused this hell to be over?

Unconsciously, he gasped with relief and called out for Sei and Virus… but when he recovered from the stupor he noticed that they were gone. However, there was still that large iron box in the middle of the room, but it looked different somehow, as if it had been flipped on its side and the lid was left open…

Something was still inside the box, a large body covered in grey hairless skin… It was the one who was emitting the whimpers… It breathed into the box and sniffed while its human-looking dark claws were scratching the bottom of the box weakly, as if it had lost something of importance.

It was such a pitiful sight that he almost forgot how disturbing their last encounter was. He didn’t wish to think about it.

The next thing he noticed about the room was that the water tanks were still filled with dark brown liquid, and it was still too turbid to tell if anything else was inside of them.

The blue-haired man walked out of the lab, leaving the ‘dog’ to mourn whatever depressed him, and he tried to trace his way back to the exit of this story; he’d try and get to the top of the Tower, to see if Toue was still there. The corridors had changed again, probably to their former appearance and now that they bore faint light, his flashlight was unnecessary. Despite the lacking illumination, it seemed clear that the corridor was covered in pristine white paint with shades of blue and gray, and it reminded him a lot to the halls of the central hospital back on Midorijima’s city… 

But where did Sei and Virus go? … Was Trip truly dead? And what happened to Clear and Mink? Did they make it to the Tower? And what was the monster dog doing back there?

“Are you supposed to be here at all?” he pondered to himself quietly, feeling his chest tightening around his lungs. “What are you doing now? Did you get what you wanted?”

He touched his own face again, and it was dry. No sweat, no tears, no blood. He never had blood on his face except in that confrontation that happened inside his mind. He was freed of that burden… so why was he feeling so much pain in his chest?

He felt steps coming after him while he investigated the upper levels… the ‘dog’ was still following him, and all that he could think about was how sad its little yellow eyes were, as if the feeling of hopelessness was completely mutual. In a way, he could see himself reflected on that ‘dog’, and that was probably the scariest thing he ever came to realize.

That’s when he heard the screech that pierced through the air, making him wince and cover his ears, thought that he could bleed from the intensity of it. The terrible sound was only brief, but powerful like the scraping of a chalkboard magnified ten times. He looked back at the dog monster and noticed a change of its behavior. The posture of its body and the ears indicated alertness.

They were currently on the upper levels, but he could have sworn that it came from stories below. He heard other noises, like glass breaking and strong thumps that could indicate that there was a fight… The ‘dog’ dashed towards the floor from where it came from, as if it acted inside the same concerns of the young man.

He thought about it before following the ‘dog’, knowing that inside his heart he still cared about the fate of the people who also entered this place. He moved inside a different level, and noticed right away that the faint lights that illuminated the hallways were blinking violently, maybe because of some sort of malfunction on the floor’s electricity… but he heard a series of thuds that made the ground shake a little.

As he turned to the left of the corridors and froze in terror as he watched a man tumbling down while making gagging sounds. He firstly recognized the head covered by long brown dreadlocks. His heart shrank and all sense of safety vanished in one single second.

The moment he rushed to help, Mink winced weakly as he was helped to sit, and it seemed like he wanted to protest but from his mouth only suffocating croaks came out. Mink was shakily signaling on his own neck, there was a visible purplish hand-mark on his neck that made the skin look as if something broke beneath it; it was even painful to look at it. The throat had been crushed. It didn’t seem to be bleeding but blunt force was used to cause that hideous injury. It was evident that he couldn’t breathe anymore, as his face had turned red.

With one free hand Mink tried to communicate something, but Aoba shook his head in ignorance while he fought the tears to not come out, because there was the slow and cruel awareness that the man in front of him was going to die if he didn’t get help right away. And he didn’t know how to be of help, not even to understand what Mink was trying to say.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Aoba whispered, still shaking his head. Mink was in a lot of pain and his message was being unheard. In one attempt to make things right, Aoba pulled the bigger man’s arm and tried to get him up, but Mink turned out to be too heavy, besides he was resisting. “Please… get up! Get up!” The older man’s eyes looked up at him, they were full of regret.

For a second, he was able to make Mink move slightly, but it took too much effort. It was all pointless, almost as if the man had decided to die here in the spot.

He was running out of oxygen anyways. It was pathetic and horrible, but Aoba could only stay and watch him die without being able to help. Still, tears couldn’t come out.

Suddenly, a rough hand grabbed Aoba’s head from the back of his neck and pulled him close to Mink’s face turned blue. The light was fading from the golden eyes of the dying man, but he still moved his dry mouth in one last desperate attempt to communicate, like he wanted his lips to be read:

_“Get Out.”_

For one last time, Aoba tried to pull him up by the arm again, but Mink used the last of his strength to resist and remain on the floor, choking. This was only making it easier for Aoba to feel like crying. Why would Mink give up like this? He couldn’t understand.

Before realizing it, the body had gone completely limp.

The lights kept on blinking and they were haunting the sight of Mink’s eyes still open, locked in their regret and grief. Aoba just stared and tried to absorb every second of this stillness, unable to comprehend that Mink could no longer move.

Steps were coming from the bottom of the hallway, the same route Mink came from.

There was an uncanny sweetness in the whispering voice, and it made his skin crawl.

“I’m looking for my Aoba-san. I haven’t seen him for so long… I wonder if anything bad happened to my Aoba-san…”

He let go of Mink’s arm and stepped back in terror, the unmasked android wasn’t looking straight at him, but his eyes wore a vacant expression.

Beside the missing arm, there were signs of fight reflected on Clear’s ripped white coat; it was easy to connect the dots… But why was he so certain now? Why couldn’t he doubt now? Why did it _have_ to be Clear? This wasn’t fair. He liked Clear despite everything, so why was this happening now?

Looking down again at the dead man he murmured: “Clear… what have you done?”

“Who are you?” It was then when the android acknowledged his presence, and Aoba noticed the brown messy stains sprinkled all over the lab coat and the only hand.

Aoba swallowed, hesitating to reach into his bag for the gun.

“Let’s leave now, Clear. We’re done here. Let’s go home, okay?” he softly requested, but feeling unnerved by the pink artificial irises staring back at him with silent confusion. Did Clear even recognize him anymore?

“ _Home_ …?” Clear tilted his head lightly. “I don’t… understand. I reside here.”

“Clear, come on… Let’s get out of here. Please.” He begged, stepping back in fear.  The white boots were walking towards him lazily, but every instance in which the lights of the hallway blinked, the android seemed to advance more rapidly. “We can get this all behind us, and we can find a way to live through this… Please, Clear…”

For one moment, Clear stopped, his small eyes widening as his head lifted. “… Oh, I see. It makes sense now.” In one motion, energy kicked inside both of them and Aoba was ready to run as much as Clear was ready to chase. “You are also part of Aoba-san. You can take me to where he is. You can do that.”

“Clear, that’s enough! Stop!” He felt as if his heart would jump outside his chest, and seeing the robot coming after him heightened his sense of threat tenfold.

And just as he thought he’d be unable to take out the gun out of his bag in time, he briefly watched the body of Mink far behind, and a dark shadow moving over it. Then he realized the long figure of the ‘dog’ lunged aggressively to attack the android’s back with a guttural growl.

He watched the monstrous jaw sink its fangs on the side of the beautiful artificial face, and for a moment, Clear seemed genuinely surprised; but there was an inhuman strength built inside of it. Clear barely budged, but with only one arm, he struggled to get the giant ‘dog’ off his back.

At first, Clear slammed his back against a wall to hurt the ‘dog’; it was an occasion that Aoba should have used to run away, but he suddenly lost balance and bent his body with hurt, as if he was hit hard by a piece of iron in the back.

He cried in pain, and then again he felt a fierce strike him in the chest, as if bones had been broken just now. He heard the canine creature yelp as Clear’s elbow dug to its ribcage and then proceeded to throw it far to where Mink’s body laid motionless.

The agony was making his sight cloudy, and it was hard to move, so he was resigned to crawl away from the android. “Clear! Please stop!” he cried, holding the side of his ribs which pained him the most. Begging right now seemed like the best solution, because it’d be impossible to not make the android suspect he’d use a weapon against him. He gasped, the ache in his body forced him to stop crawling for a moment; for one last time, he locked his eyes up to Clear’s, searching for a hint of kindness that should still be living within… he was that desperate. “Let’s put a stop to this… I know you’re not like this. You have to stop!”

Almost as if it was the work of magic, something inside Clear’s eyes changed, as if glitter was leaking from them. For one second, the android halted his steps, but his mouth was trembling.

“ _Stop_? A-are you telling me to _stop_? Why? Isn’t it too late to stop now?” the voice was cracking, but the emotion exposed by it was growing violent. “He once told me it was fine to stop… and when he told me to stop, time stopped for him as well… After some time I understood that it wasn’t okay to stop! And i-if I stop now, I won’t be able to see him again! Don’t you dare using the same face he had to tell me to stop! _I can’t stop_!”

In the blink of an eye, Aoba reached inside his bag, but his fingers found the crowbar first, and at the same time, Clear has jumped just above him in menacing stance, with one hand he’d be capable of doing whatever he wanted to do; and whatever it was, Aoba would fight with his life to prevent it.

It wasn’t a matter of precision but of sheer luck, the end of the piece of steel slashed profoundly the damaged side of Clear’s face —where the dog had previously attacked— and it seemed to touch something of relevance, but Clear quickly countered this by taking with his only hand the crowbar from Aoba very easily. The chasm between their strengths was too great.

He wanted to close his eyes, deemed himself defenseless for half a second until he pressured his mind to not give up and find the gun instead. He’d only have only an instant to get it and shoot.

No… there wasn’t enough time for that! And Clear already paid attention to the bag! He had a weapon in his hand and in no time he’d use it to beat him to death! The only second that he needed to fight back didn’t exist!

Another feral growl. The furious black figure attacked Clear from the back once more, and Aoba observed those long black claws digging to the white shoulders and fangs tearing fake skin from the android’s neck. It wouldn’t be enough, but this was the opportunity Aoba needed to find in his bag the gun and—

— _Plunge_

Suddenly, he went blind with white. He screamed and nearly threw up, finding it impossible to breathe because his lungs were burning and his pores exploded with new sweat. His whole body squirmed on the floor and he lost control of his hands.

He also heard a faint pitiful whimper and a heavy thud… With all of his will, he tried to move his body, move his fingers one by one, until he noticed they were holding something small but heavy, cold to the touch. The gun.

But he was in such an unbearable impossible pain. This was the worst feeling. It was like dying but he couldn’t die yet. It was tearing a hole into his flesh and bones with fire and ice merged, but his body was physically intact. Once he finally recovered his sight from the shock, the first thing his eyes found was Clear coming back to him in impatient steps.

Where did the ‘dog’ go? What did Clear do to it? Surely it didn’t matter, as the android crouched over Aoba’s body and looked down at him with deathly intent.

Aoba gathered the strength to raise the arm and fire since Clear’s head was close enough to not miss the shot.

He pulled the trigger and the magnitude of the force was such that his hand with the gun was pulled back, causing the gun’s rear ended up breaking his nose. Simultaneously, Clear lost his balance, a dark leaking hole pierced beneath his left eye and his face twitched momentarily. The android fell on his back, profusely bleeding oily liquid from his face while exuding a long and painful gasp that held a close resemblance to human agony.

It was a robot, so naturally, it wouldn’t die so easily. He observed how Clear squirmed and finally stretched his only hand towards him again. The look on his face broke Aoba’s heart.

“I need to see him one last time. Just once… My Aoba-san… I want to see him again…”

But he couldn’t bring himself to comfort the android. His own pressing hurt was binding him, preventing him from pulling the gun's trigger a second time. The shot didn't kill the android, but it brought to surface feelings that a human could bear.

Clear slowly recovered while the other man was losing consciousness due the blow on his nose. It was heard to breathe, but he was breathing nonetheless. Why didn't Clear kill him already? What was taking him so long?

"Did I... do this?" that sweet heartbroken crack in Clear's voice reached to him and his own heart skipped a beat. "Mink-san... ?"

Aoba didn't have the courage to witness this anymore. He didn't wish to see that gentle Clear he used to cherish break down again just to deepen the emotional wound he caused. 

He fainted again, this time because of the pain on his nose. It was a long pause before his eyes opened again and found two faces just above him, both showing an incredible amount of distress. They spoke to each other and he could hardly make out what were their words. The confusion and the pain engorged in his chest was swaying him in and out of consciousness.

His head dropped to the side because his head lay on someone's lap and they moved him for a moment. He heard part of their conversation more clearly. One of those voices was Sei, he gathered.

"... It was all my fault! I-I wasn't strong enough!"

"No, no, no, no... I made a mistake by calling you back into this place because I was unable to control Virus. I couldn't have known that you'd end up meeting Mink and—"

"Le-let me go and I will bring him back!"

"... Yes, you do that, please. Go and come back as fast as you can." Sei's voice was particularly stern with this order.

But as he heard them speaking, his eyes looked to the scene beyond. Far behind Clear, still lying on the floor on a dark pool of blood, he saw the form of the gray and black creature he knew as the 'dog'. There was a long thin piece of metal sticking out of its ribcage, yet its chest moved very slow and painfully while its yellow dull eyes stared straight at him in silence. It communicated the sensation of agony, sadness and hopelessness through an invisible link and it seared through that crowbar wound, and all that pain reached into him, the undeniable link between the monster and the man.

Something warm tickled his eyes and melted out of his lids, and for a moment he saw a gentle shine inside the monster's eyes as well.

Clear had done this to him.

The pain wore him down once more and made him vanish after Sei and the android finished talking. The heartache grew stronger as the black mist inside his head grew thicker. He couldn't stop the longing and grief that Clear left behind his betrayal. Clear had meant so much to him in a way he never fully understood and would never be requited, but the knowledge of this didn't soften the sorrow clinging to his body like wet cloth.

He slept again, more profoundly and afflicted about himself. He thought fondly of Clear, but he came to find somebody else. He was supposed to love somebody else, and he came to this place to find them. Even now, he failed at acknowledging who this person was.

****

He felt a jolt of cold when the noise struck him. Aoba realized that he was inside a strange room, very dark but there were blue rectangular lights everywhere, shining to dimly to even tell him where the limits existed, and soon he realized that they were all screens. They produced subtle static sound, but he already hated the slightest representation of it at this point. Instinctively, he touched his own face and realized it was leaking warm tears.

"Are you crying?"

That voice was very low and calm, it echoed very softly around him. After his eyes searched for it, they found again the image of the deformed human face from the 'dog'; it looked at him with what it felt like a tranquil expression, empathetic even. It still looked like a monster, but he learned to accept it as if it was nothing. It took him one second to realize that the voice actually came from the 'dog'. "Are you crying?" the question was repeated, but Aoba didn't watch the twisted maw move in form of words.

"… Yeah. It seems like it. But I don't know why I'm crying, or why I'm even admitting that I am."

"If you can't be honest with yourself, then with whom will you be?" Indeed, the jaw of the beast wasn't moving when it spoke, and the contrast between the humane voice and the horrendous appearance was creeping him a bit.

"But you're not me." Aoba replied, nearly too slow.

"No, but I'm very close to what you once were, or maybe what you think you were."

"Then you're not real?"

"I... don't know how to answer that. I don't think it matters as much as your need to see me as a reflection of a very important part of you. I think that I was born to help you find that part of yourself."

"You _think_?"

"Well, if I don't say it for myself, nobody will. Although, sometimes it does feel like I wasn't meant to in the first place. I only have two things: the link I share with you and the ability to think."

"Then you _are_ real."

The beast seemed to be deep in thought, that statement seemed to even silence the static sound in the background. If he turned his eye to the blue screens then he could see smoky images moving inside them like ghosts, the images that they formed made no sense as if they were taken from close-up. They had a very particular rhythm on the way they moved, but it didn't feel like it was a dance, more like the pumping of a heart.

"But am I alive?" The beast asked, raising their head so slightly that the blue light made its face seem more human. "Do I exist outside the connection I have with you? Can I be my own person?"

"I don't know. Do you want to be?"

"… Yes." its voice reached a more emotional tone, heartbreaking, hopeless. "But what if I can't? What if I can't live outside your shadow? What if I have no other choice but to disappear? My feelings are the result of my ability to think as an individual and I'm unable to help that. Having these feelings makes no sense, and it hurts. They're violently tearing at me and I'm unable to come in terms with them, because maybe if they see the light, I'll be forced to lose this individuality that hurts me so much. I hate being myself, but at the same time, I don't want lose this identity of my own." It breathed, and the despair it exuded was so thick it made his skin crawl. "I'm scared."

"… _Ren_ , is this how you've been feeling all this time?"

"You should be aware of it by now. After all, you are me and I am you." 

He understood. He finally understood why were the tears sliding down his cheeks still, and this agonizing sensation of absence and remorse that has been haunting him ever since he came back to his senses in the devastated Midorijima. This was the thing that scared him the most, the one thing he couldn't bring himself to embrace because it was also the most painful truth that no sentient being should deserve to bear.

"Can you forgive yourself, Ren?" it asked, but he couldn't find the monstrous dog-shape anymore. Instead, he started at himself: his real self, or at least the way he used to project himself before...

The images returned to him, the hostile clarity of the images shown on the blue screens ravaged his sanity like sharp claws; the way it clawed and tore open the skin like predator does to the soft prey, the vicious chewing on the pulsing red ends of the warm flesh until it reached the hardness of the bone, the sultry feeling of his shaft ripping through that pulsing hot place as the his most primal instinct demanded. His belly was full, so full, yet the cycle of senseless bestiality was timeless.

The prey kept repeating one single uttering; it would go on as every cycle started again.

_Why. Why. Why._

But then, as another cycle started anew, it stopped. The _Whys_ stopped.

Eventually, the once two separate bodies were now one single figure. It was complete. They were one at last, one single grotesquery reborn from absorbing the weaker link.

But it was only a human; and as any human capable of remorse and trauma, his coping mechanism for the atrocity he committed to his equal was to return him his life and live by it. Every memory and quirk was absorbed and adapted to his persona, but naturally his emotions were different. He forced himself to forget what he was and what he did in order to keep on living.

However, life was meaningless.

What kind of man should go on living after brutalizing the person they loved the most?

What kind of monster should be allowed to live after committing such a heinous crime?

****

When Noiz came back to his senses, the first thing he noticed as the strange little sound. For a moment he thought that he was dreaming again, but normally in a dream he wouldn't feel so exhausted or hungry. He sniffed slightly but a powerful stench followed and gave him the kick to pull himself back together.

It was a disgusting fresh metallic smell accompanied with a low moaning and breathing. 

The bedroom he awoke in was wide and had several windows that let in a great amount of gray light that equally casted extremely dark shadows that made the corners hard to see, the room was full of all kinds of stuffed toys and present boxes of all sizes, also the ceiling had a very elaborated map of the night sky, needless to say, this was a disturbingly childish-looking room, even for a little rich girl, but how in the world did Noiz end up in a place like this? 

... And what his eyes captured right after was the trail of red stains on the dusty tiles of the floor. Some of that blood was recent, but some was already dry.

There were several presences in this bedroom and one of them was making those unsettling noises. They came from the large bed, the fancy cotton curtains helped to make that corner even darker. The bedsheets were all soaked in red and a person covered in bloodied bandages was weakly struggling against straps binding his limbs; even half of their face was bandaged making it difficult to identify them. This person kept on making those pained little groans as their chest heaved at an uneven speed. Their clothes were all tattered and their hair was too dirty to make out their color; all Noiz could know was that whoever this person was, they were in great pain.

"Don't touch him." A voice so small and nearly non-existent called at him, but the grinding of wheels approaching him from behind gave them away.

Their appearance was white and fragile, almost ghostly, and their eyes were so black they seemed to be hollow inside. Their white clothes also seemed to be stained with red little droplets.

"... Are you Captive Princess?" It occurred to him to ask that question, a feeling inside his guts told him that this was the one. It seemed to make sense.

The wheelchair stranger bowed their head lightly and looked at the windows. "You can leave this place if you want. I don't need you anymore."

That reply didn't anger Noiz, but it made him annoyed to feel so vague and oblivious to everything that was inside this room. He looked out at the windows and felt a little of nausea as he realized that he was at the top of the devastated Platinum Jail. But as he turned back to the room and the Captive Princess, he also saw it hidden among the stuffed animals the tall monstrous figure of a ten-armed person that resulted immediately familiar to him after quickly getting used the sight of it.

That was Usui, and it was apparently holding something very small in its arms, but Noiz couldn't tell exactly what it was because it was seemingly wrapped in a blanket. Usui's whole attention was focused on its arms, but Noiz couldn't help but to feel unnerved by the uncanny tranquility of this whole scene. But then he noticed, the odd blackened body lying just behind Usui, to which the dry trail of blood followed.

A dead man's body. By the looks of his clothes, he must've been Toue, or at least that's what Noiz decided to believe.

"Please, Noiz. You have to leave. You still have time before the boats decide to sail off the coast. You know your way outside the Tower, correct?"

That's right, last time he was self-aware he was in company of that old nurse Hana and they were getting prepared to leave definitively as they waited for the rest to move to the coast...

He didn't want to wait for Aoba, however... he never recalled going after him even if that was exactly what he planned. Panic began to rise inside his heart and felt like he was going to pass out as he stared back at the bloodied bed where the injured man still fought against the binds.

He couldn't sweat, but his own body was growing warmer inside and the sickness nearly took him to him to his edge. This can't be happening, he told himself. He took a closer look at the bound man on the bed and analyzed the upper half of his face which was still visible.

He wanted to recognize those eyes, but he couldn't. No matter how much he wished to see him again, this wasn't the one. Those eyes were animal, not even from a mad man.

This wasn't Aoba anymore, at least not the one he knew.

Despite being heavily bandaged, it seemed like those things were applied very recently and the bloody imprints seeping through the cloth could only tell Noiz that those injuries were pretty serious. He was particularly intrigued by the cloth that covered the lower half of Aoba's face, seemed wetter than the rest of the bandages.

"What happened to him?" Noiz asked in a surprisingly monotone voice.

The Captive Princess seemed unsure whether to answer that question or not. Clearly they had a strong involvement with whatever made Aoba this way and Noiz just had the foreboding that he wouldn't be able to leave after hearing this.

The thin lips of the ill character shivered for a moment before speaking up. "He started to bite off pieces of his thighs, hands, arms, he even ate his lower lip. I gave him a muzzle to stop him from eating himself."

Noiz touched his own arms at the thought, trying to repress those images of vivid mutilation and red mouths opening on his skin with every gentle touch, all that gore still deeply ingrained in his mind. The small spasms of pain came out of nowhere, but he tried to not freak out again. He thought that he was finally out of his nightmare world, but this was just the same. Aoba was hurt and gone and they were deaf to each other's pain.

He stayed in the room for a few days while coming in terms with what happened to himself and everyone, for a few moments he lost touch with reality but managed to pull himself back thanks to The Princess's eyes.

Noiz decided to dump Toue's body on one of the Tower's windows, he didn't even know of what did the old man died and probably no one would miss him. He eventually found himself helping them out on the chores of maintaining Aoba alive, cleaning him and changing his bandages while trying to make him eat, but they were resigned to insert some catheter tube to his veins just to make sure his body wouldn't die, Sei seemed to be very acquainted with all these procedures as they already had a tube inserted in their own arm. Despite their efforts, all attempts to communicate to Aoba in a civil way only met failure. They had still plenty of medical supplies and they wouldn't hesitate to use sedatives if they had to. Noiz learned quickly to be a decent nurse.

And from time to time, Clear would come back to report whether he gathered any other clues of that man Virus's whereabouts, since he seemed to have taken something of value that Sei, The Captive Princess, deemed precious.

Usui, while being present in the room at all times, didn't move at all. Sometimes it seemed like it was alive and awake, but it didn't do anything but to stare down at the bulge it cradled on its arms. Whatever it was, it was rotting.  

The ships must have left without them at this point. He vaguely wondered if they reached the mainland to send help back to Midorijima, but days passed by fast as minutes, and Clear didn't tell them anything new. After a whole month passed away, Aoba's self-inflicted wounds seemed to get worse through infection and Sei's physical and mental health decayed to the point they barely moved and talked when they were awake. Noiz was also growing weaker despite having enough food rations from the Tower's storage, mostly because the work of taking care of those two was draining him to the bone day after day. He didn't leave the Tower at all, unknowing if monsters were roaming around either.

Two months passed by and the same routine repeated. They requested Clear to search for clean bandages and antiseptics because they were running out of them and the infections on Aoba's arms and legs slowly turned to purple and secreted some thick yellow pus from time to time. The smell of death intensified inside the room.

Clear rarely came back now, and when he did he wouldn't look at Noiz in the eye, not even acknowledge his existence. Noiz knew that Mink died because he saw his corpse on his recons around the Tower, so maybe Clear was deeply affected by that? 

Sei was hardly contributing at this point, and eventually Noiz gave up on talking to them, because no matter how much he yelled at them or cried, they wouldn't listen. It was like talking to a dead wall. Also, one day while he slept, Usui disappeared from the room, taking away with it the dreadful rotten smell. He guessed it didn't matter whether Usui was here or not.

Feeling so lonely and hopeless and one day he started to neglect his own food rations and scratch his arms and legs until the skin broke and bled; he hadn't done this for a very long time, but he hardly felt any relief anymore. The loneliness was driving him insane, he regretted ever coming out of his personal shell because he realized how addicted he became to the company of others.

One night, while Aoba was heavily sedated, Noiz decided to change again his bandages before the morning. He had all the lights turned on for this, but he didn't care if it bothered Sei; they wouldn't mind at all, they haven't eaten or taken a shit for three days.

Aoba's breathing was uneven, he was sweating buckets and by the time he took off the cloths from his left arm, Noiz's eyes went wide when he realized that almost half of that arm went black and stiff. The wounds caused by his bite marks started to eat away more and more of his flesh. it was literally rotting.

It was morning when Noiz checked the rest of Aoba's limbs. All four of them were showing the same symptoms and despite doing his best to disinfect them, all he could do was to sit in the room's chair beside Sei and wait. 

Later that morning, Clear returned with the supplies they wanted, but was immediately aware that something wasn't right. Again, without directing a word to Noiz, the masked man looked at the physical anomalies on Aoba's arms and legs. He kept quiet for a minute, until Noiz finally spoke out, approaching Clear almost aggressively.

"This is gangrene. It's very serious." Clear said, his muffled voice was more mature than the last time they talked to each other, and Noiz almost felt that he was talking to someone completely different. However nothing really prepared him for what was about to come.

"If we want him to keep on living, we must amputate his limbs. Noiz-san, would you help me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End A Complete. 3 More To Go.
> 
> And yes, Clear got a new gas mask before Noiz met him again.
> 
> Please leave a comment below if you liked this chapter. If you didn't like it, leave a comment below, I can take criticism.


	29. End B. The Rise Of The Broken Prince

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please ignore the fact that this ending took me over a month to edit and finish. Writing endings is literally the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, and I apologize for that. I just want to make it right.  
> And please leave your comments, because your opinions matter a lot to me.

[…] The growling tore through the invisible walls of the darkness surrounding them. And that's when Desire flinched, as he stared to another direction, conscious of the new threat that came into being inside this dark place.

It was colossal, and its claws and teeth glimmered with white and red, and Desire stood defiant, one last demonstration of his pointless bravery…

Aoba's Desire didn't belong here anymore.

One of the claws, as big as a chair, struck down and bluntly forced him to whatever ground existed in this dark world within his own mind. The large mouth with fangs as big as kitchen knives was nearing to the body of the struggler.

The one known as Desire was fighting against the weight of the enormous claw, but it was useless, the maw coming closer to his head. "No… you can't do this to me! You can't—!"

Suddenly, a painful whiteness ripped a hole of light over Desire's head, and he yelled something as he rolled to his side.

The whiteness was like a violent storm, static that expanded all over the darkness, giving form to the monster hidden in the shadows inside this non-existent place. He suddenly tumbled down on his knees, overwhelmed by the invasion of this white colossal presence that was literally shaking his whole being.

With the agonizing light taking over his mind, he finally saw himself, or more accurately, the part of Aoba who represented his Desire. He was looking down at him all apparent wounds had vanished. The whiteness represented Desire as a whole new figure, so impeccably white it hardly resembled a human, even the irises of his eyes were completely white. They were wide with rage and disgust. His mouth seemed to be screaming but there was an unnerving calmness in the voice that echoed within.

"Not so big now, huh?" He said, but words simply materialized inside his being, as no voice actually existed.

He felt like he was giving in to the force that could rip him apart, but an alien gentleness stopped the white Desire from accomplishing that.

For a moment he could have sworn that he heard Sei's voice.

****

When the box’s lid was opened, 'Aoba' fainted. There was only one second in which Sei had to decide whether they should quickly stop Virus from whatever chance he had from escaping, or they could quickly reawaken their brother to stop Virus. Sei had put too much at stake for this, so their priorities were crystal-clear…

There were still limits to their Scrap however, since this wasn't actually their true body and chances were that the use of Scrap would harm the owner's body, but this was a risk worth taking. Sei ran to the body of their brother and quickly took Aoba's face, eyes were fortunately half-open.

In that instant, Virus shifted uncomfortably and rushed to take the contents from the huge box, but Sei's Scrap only took one fraction of a second, merely a minor intervention that would create a breach for the Desire to take over, but that was the most they could do.

As they snapped out of the Scrap, Aoba was still unconscious on the ground, but Sei immediately sensed how the cold dry laboratory changed into a completely different scenario, infected by the maimed little soul that lived inside the box. The floor tiles were black and white, dull light and deep shadows reflected on the slick surface. It was like some sort of fancy room, but the smell was terrible, like a strong mix between excrement and sweat, and now in Virus's arms there was a trembling figure, slim, pale and filthy. The fact that Virus was still capable of doing this despite having one broken arm was impressive and it revealed the extent of his own determination to escape.

Sei got back on their feet, but before they could take one single step, suddenly their face fell crashed on the floor, as if they were thrashed from behind... It was actually hard to comprehend at first, since this body didn't perceive physical pain or sensations in any regard. Yet the impact dulled Sei's ability to react, and before they could fully realize it, a small heavy body was sitting on top of them, it was like a child. The child was red and faceless, and it seemed amused as its little cruel hands kept a hold on Sei with strength that wasn’t like a child’s.

"Sei-san, please don't fight." Virus looked down at them. "You knew that this was bound to happen, and I can’t give to you something that I can’t replace. My life is has been robbed of so many things already, so could you just let me have this one thing, please?"

Virus then looked at the red child; it always followed him closely, as if it had taken a vow to protect Virus for some reason. The faceless child was probably there to fill the empty space left by Trip's demise, but whether it was only Trip's ghost manifesting or a figment from Virus's subconscious mind, Sei wasn't completely sure about it; there were many things about this fabricated world that didn't and couldn't make sense because this wasn’t truly their doing.

The feeling of helplessness struck Sei’s awareness again; despite having pulled the strings on everyone's actions so far, Sei was ultimately powerless without Scrap, and both Virus and the red child easily overpowered them.

Aoba was right: _they had no power_. They never had any real power, not even to save their own little brother.

They could still call out for Clear. Clear could come here quickly and help them save Aoba—No. No, that'd be stupidly risky! Clear would succumb to the influence of the dark atmosphere... but did they have any other choice left?

They instinctively turned their face back to Aoba's unconscious body, but he wasn't lying there in the same position they left him. His knuckles flinched at the sound of the painful sobbing that came from the one getting carried by Virus ready to leave the room. Murmurs from Virus could be heard as he walked with heavy steps, taking away what never belonged to him.

"I'm _not_ going to hurt you, _Aoba-san_. You've endured enough for far too long. But we'll make it right somehow, won't we?"

The figure on Virus's arms gasped in response to that name, later followed by a sharp pitiful cry that only figured resignation. It was shaking like a leaf, unable to fight Virus. It could have made Sei's stomach turn, but it didn't. Sei knew perfectly well everything that Virus and Trip did to that barely recognizable maimed soul.

"There's no point on protesting. You're well taken care of, always." Virus whispered in a loving way, but Sei knew he was only being condescending. What did Virus intend to do now that Trip and his world were gone? There was no way to predict the way Virus would cope with everything he lost, and certainly it wasn't a good idea to let him do whatever he wished with their brother. Virus would undoubtedly attempt to return his life to the world his mind knew.

Before Sei could even try to struggle again against the red child their eyes saw the movement on Aoba's body, light and silent as it captured Virus's sudden attention. A loud slam made the whole room shake, the large door was closed suddenly as if to prevent Virus from escaping, as if that was its desire… or maybe someone else’s.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" his voice vibrated with anger, and while his back was turned on Sei it was impossible to see their brother's face.

That renewed rage and antipathy were the most obvious indicators that the one who represented Aoba’s Desire had now the control of his body and was probably aware of who was in Virus’s arms.

When Virus realized the door was locked and he had no way to escape with his personal prisoner, so the first thing he did was to gently drop the body on the floor and turn around slowly to face Sei's brother.

"… Are you the _other_ Aoba-san? Are you _Sly Blue_?" Virus inquired coldly, but while his face didn't show anything, his shoulders did stiffen a little. Aoba reached into his bag, the sense of threat increased by tenfold. Sei was troubled by their feelings and didn't know how to react to this situation. So much was happening and they couldn't pick a side, because either choice would doom the other.

"That's just an old username. Would it kill you to call me _Aoba_ for a change?"

Aoba took out a small object out of his bag and Virus reacted rapidly running into the young man, skillfully seizing Aoba's wrists and then a deafening sound tore the thick atmosphere, it could have killed either of the two men in one instant. Virus grunted and struggled to overpower Aoba while trying to take away the gun from his hand, and Aoba quickly alternated to headbutt the blond man, breaking his glasses with one hit.

When Sei started to see the first hints of blood, their heart started to rush but the weight of the red child was immobilizing them while its faceless red canvas seemingly kept a watch on them instead of going to help Virus... With that, Sei's attention was divided between releasing their arms and helplessly watching the fight.

As Virus prevented Aoba from pulling the gun's trigger again, turning the pistol towards Aoba's face with great effort, their hands were shaking as they wrestled their strengths; Aoba was doing his best to stop the gun from pointing at his face. Sei was panicking, and no matter how hard they focused to use Scrap to affect their surroundings, it would be hopeless, and there was no point on abandoning this body because Mink would be too far away.

Suddenly, Aoba forced Virus to the floor, but another powerful bang of the gun fired and Sei's whole being stiffened because they watched Aoba's body violently jerk back and the weapon was dropped far from Virus's face. Aoba cried in pain, a new layer of fresh blood poured from the left side of his face, meanwhile Virus took this chance to pull his long dirty hair with a vicious grip, enough to rip a few strands of the sensitive nerves.

However, this was precisely the Aoba that Virus knew as Sly Blue long ago, so his endurance for physical pain was far greater than average, but in that moment everyone had forgotten about that detail, even someone as intelligent as Virus.

A heavy fist fell upon Virus's face, and it produced a loud crack; it was hard to tell if the sound came from Virus's face or Aoba's knuckles. Each punch that followed was fast and subdued Virus's grasp on the hair strands, and Sei's shoulders were trembling uncontrollably at this sight. As long as Aoba was sitting on top of their former guardian, he'd be able to beat him as much as he liked. Virus concentrated his arms on shielding his face from the beating, but it really wasn't helping his situation.

Eventually, Sei found out that the faceless child was no longer holding their arms, it vanished into thin air, but Sei was too shocked to even move.

Virus was a monster in many ways, such as Trip was, _but he was their guardian_ , the closest thing they ever had to genuine human contact, and Sei knew it deep inside that they cared a lot despite all the cruel things that he's done to them. It was frustrating, but Sei didn't have to heart to completely condemn Virus or Trip. In a way, Sei hated it that they cared for those horrible men after all this time.

"You need to stop!" Sei gasped, realizing this was probably the closest thing they'd ever be from crying in decades. "Please, Aoba! Please don't do this!"

"—STAY OUT OF THIS!" Aoba practically roared, momentarily stopping the beating; his voice had changed so much that it frightened Sei.

Virus flinched on a puddle of his own blood, his hands were weak but they still had enough power to push his attacker off, even if just one bit. He attempted to crawl out of Aoba's reach, but the pain dulled his capacity to react and he wasn't fast enough. Aoba grabbed the battered man's shirt and dragged him back, Virus whined and his healthy hand reached out to Aoba's face, scratching his skin viciously. It was all Virus could do at this point.

And then the screams of anguish were violently muffled when Aoba forced his left hand's fingers into the mouth of Virus, coercing him to keep his jaw open. Sei wanted to look away as the hand of their brother dislocated Virus's jaw, but they didn't; Virus was still violently struggling, his nails leaving red marks on Aoba's face. As it became an annoyance, Aoba caught Virus's fingers with his teeth and bit them hard, breaking them.

For one moment those men looked into each other's eyes, and for one second, Virus's screams quietened. Aoba then whispered with a paused worn voice.

"When you released him from that box, I could feel his thoughts, I could see into his memories. I can hear him even now. I can hear his pathetic pleas, his conditioned little words begging me to let you go because he's so afraid of how you’ll punish him. You _pig_." The whole fist fitted inside Virus's mouth, and it slowly went in deeper down the man's throat, letting him taste the agony of the asphyxia. But Sei noticed how more and more of Aoba's arm was disappearing inside the man's gullet; it made Sei hold down their need to vomit. "How does it feel? Not so nice when you're the one forced to deepthroat, huh? _Fucking pig_. Maybe I should also force my fist up your ass and rip your intestines out, gut you out like the _pig_ you are!"

There was one last spasm in Virus's body, but as soon as the winner of the fight took out his now blood-drenched arm, gasping in exhaustion, he got back on his feet and stared blankly at the warm corpse for a few seconds.

It was only for a fragment of a second, but next to Virus there were two small figures standing close to each other. One of them was red and child-like, but the other was slightly taller and held a closer resemblance to a pubescent than a child. But Sei only caught a glimpse of them, as they disappeared as soon as they were seen.

Rage still burned within Aoba and Sei closed their eyes as their brother started kicking and stomping violently on the body's crotch. There was no way of misunderstanding the cause of this vicious attack.

"He's dead! He's dead already! Please stop!" Sei begged.

Sei was afraid. They knew this part of Aoba was dangerous, and this scenario was within the possibilities, but Sei never predicted the way they'd feel if it came to that.

It seemed like their plea was enough to stop their brother, but the fear dissipated a bit once they observed Aoba's condition: his skin was covered on sweat and dirt and blood, his arms were shivering and his face was covered in red scratch marks while the left side of his head bled profusely probably because Virus shot the gun really close; half of Aoba's left earlobe was gone, and considering how close it was from his ear, Sei wouldn't be surprised if their brother’s hearing was messed up after that.

Aoba was obviously shaken, he even seemed scared as he looked down at his arm.

This was the first time that he murdered someone with his own hands. It wasn't like those times in which he used Scrap to break other people's minds.

It took him some time after watching his red soaked arm until he was able to address Sei again with a defiant look.

"… So this was your plan all along? Is this what you meant to happen when you took me away?"

He was heaving wearily, lips were trembling and eyelids twitching... it almost seemed like he was about to collapse; Sei took a deep breath as they gathered their thoughts on the matter. There was a lot of explaining to do. It was the least they could do for Aoba after all they made him go through.

"... I couldn't save the Reason that was devoured by Ren; and after such a long time of searching, the only one I could find alive and whole was the Reason who existed in the reality inside Virus's mind, so I had to convince him into opening that door himself even when I figured he'd try to betray me. In case I couldn't stop Virus on my own, I'd end up calling out for Clear... however, that was..."

"—Okay, so the point is that you needed to find another Aoba to finish _the job_ and that's basically the reason why you kept me captive inside that stupid dog for almost ten months."

It was just as he said, back then Sei only managed to save one part of their brother and to keep him safe, they forced his spirit inside the artificial vessel that used to be for Ren. They still recalled how complicated the task turned out to be. It happened during that fateful day in which their lost brother entered the Tower, and by actions that they couldn't predict, Aoba ended up using Scrap on himself, triggering a terrible breakdown that left him to the mercy of Toue. As soon as the machines were connected into Aoba's consciousness, Sei traveled into him just to find only remnants of his broken persona, and the only individual part that they managed to drag out was the one who represented the Desire. Since Virus and Trip unwittingly decided to give Sei the empty Allmate to them as a 'gift', Sei decided to give it one final use...

However, something happened at the beginning of the catastrophe weeks ago that made the Desire break free from the Allmate, and with the power of the Scrap Simulator, Desire obtained something like a physical form, something almost omnipresent. Ever since then, Sei used their own power to track him down, occupying the bodies of different people in order to manifest through the unusual phenomena, as their presence wasn't as strong as Desire’s to maintain a physical body of their own. Whatever was making the Scrap Simulator work had made Sei’s own power helplessly weak.

"Are you upset?" Sei asked.

" _Am I upset... ?_ Up until now I thought that Reason slumbering within Aoba while _that douchebag_ took over, but it turns out that the piece of shit didn't just made him his bitch: he devoured Aoba’s Reason entirely while I was spared, and basically everything I tried to do has been fucking pointless! And not only that, but you kept this from me while you were busy finding a replacement! So, yeah! _I am pretty fucking upset!_ "

This was the first time anyone ever yelled at Sei like this, if they ever got yelled at all in their life. But Sei accepted it, fearful but expectant; Aoba was reasonably furious, but he'd eventually have to agree to Sei's wishes if he hated all of this so much.

There was a a small dry gasp at the corner of the large room, the appearance or it didn't change after Virus's passing, which meant that somebody else's psyche was maintaining the form of this scenario. Both siblings noticed his presence, he was forgotten amidst the brutality that just took place. Sei then observed carefully the reaction of his brother towards the manifestation of the abused; he was, after all, the one they've been trying to save from the beginning.

Aoba was clearly still mad, but also conflicted when he acknowledged the presence of the one in the corner. "I don't care about _other Aobas_. I only care about the one who lived in the same plane of reality as I do." But then his hand reached out to grab Sei's collar and pulled them close. "You didn't have to bring one that doesn't belong here. What's up with you kidnapping different parts of me from different universes? Not even I have that shitty sense of entitlement." He let go and grimaced a little, nearly smiled. "I'm not going to give up my body to that pathetic little worm. He can't replace what I already lost and you can't make me take responsibility for him."

He was angry and very good at lying, but Sei was able to see through everything. He was too hurt already.

"... I know. Someone so important can't possibly be replaced, but it isn't true that you don't care about others. The way you acted against Virus wasn't that of someone who doesn't care... You became aware of so many versions of you, and through them you were forced to bear so much pain, but every single time it happened, _you cared_." It was true that he did so many terrible things out of sheer malice and resentment, but everything he ever did was to protect Aoba. They weren't so different from each other. "I wish I knew some other way to fix everything, but I don't. I made some selfish decisions that led us to this point, and I can't undo them. My core consciousness is still living in this Tower, and if you come to destroy me, then this nightmare will finally be over. We will both be freed from this."

That was a lie. Only Sei would be free of this burden, but they didn't say anything.

Aoba sighed and looked back at the one on the corner, the bleeding on his ear wasn't so severe but he casually flinched when he touched the wound mindlessly.

Finally he replied to Sei: "Is that really all what it takes? Do you really want to die so bad?" he wondered, and he wasn’t expecting an answer. He knew it well.

And then, he walked slowly to the corner, where that naked frightened thing remained. They were the same person, yet they looked nothing like each other. The Aoba in the corner was painfully pale and fragile-looking, his hair was much thinner than the former's as if he had lost more than half of its volume; and though his body wasn't severely bruised as one would expect, he was covered in that foul smell. The opposite Aoba, reached out with his red arm, so contrasting to that ill white skin. There was some sort of new gentleness in his body language.

For a moment, the naked one shrunk and Sei feared that he'd try to run away, but it didn't happen. Sei didn't understand at first but upon closer observation, they realized that those two were communicating, although only one voice could be heard.

"Oi, if it's too hard for you, then come over... No, I can't abandon you even if I wish I could. I exist to protect you, did you forget that?... Then shut up and let me do my job."

There was a pause between them, and then suddenly, the naked one put his shaky slender arms around Aoba's back, and after some hesitation he returned the embrace, placing his bloodied face against the other's thin blue hair, resting there for a while.

"... I hate you so much."

The slim figure started to disappear into him, back to his old and new home. Now he would never be able to go back to the world he came from, not that it mattered anymore.

After moments of stillness, Sei approached their injured brother cautiously and grabbed his bag after awaiting his quiet approval. The bag's contents were in disarray but the medical kit seemed to be mostly intact. They needed to clean up that blood on Aoba's face and dress his left ear. "Just get over with it, you'll insist anyways." To that, Sei did their best to their knowledge, they had clear idea on how to treat a wound.

Aside the slight painful flinch on their brother's face, they shared the silence until Aoba finally spoke out.

"I can feel _that one_ squirming, my mental barriers can't hold him in forever." Unwillingly, they tensed their face. "Sei, you’re aware that if we don’t kill him he's going to fuck things over again, aren't you?"

"I'll figure something soon. We can't just destroy him. He needs to realize what he truly is; only that way he'll be able to let go of you."

He smiled bitterly at them.

"… That's bullshit and you know it, Sei."

Before leaving, Aoba went over the battered corpse and picked up the gun. Sei hoped that he wouldn't need to use it again.

****

They quickly arrived to the top floor of Oval Tower, Aoba felt that he was dragging his legs with every new step; despite all the pent-up energy he held in for years, fighting against Virus drained him. He didn't mind the pain that much, but he lost a lot of blood and felt both physically and emotionally exhausted … after all, he just murdered a person made of flesh and bone.

He always thought highly of himself and his capacity to do extreme things, but the bottom line was that he was just a human and he just killed someone who used to be his friend. Feelings of crude anger, remorse and betrayal still boiled just beneath his surface, and most of it was because of Sei, who was walking a few feet ahead of him.

However, he didn't hate Sei. He just couldn't.

Sei told him that Mink was supposed to come to the top and find their real body, and when Aoba questioned them why would they let that man go on his own, Sei fell quiet for some minutes, as if they just remembered something very important. They stood in front of a large crystalline white gate; Aoba still remembered it well: Toue's personal office which also gave access to Sei's bedroom. The door was open, and behind it there was a very particular smell, although it could always be his own stinky blood-drenched jacket.

But it had something else and it caused him slight discomfort upon recognition, because of the memories of ash and burnt flesh he absorbed through this journey, specifically the memories of _certain man_.

He knew right away that he'd have to deal with him again.

The large office was as obscure as the rest of the whole Tower, he should have expected the penthouse-looking room to be quite a bit more lightened but the windows were completely covered in black and small orange and there were tiny red and orange burning ashes scattered on the air. Sei stopped for a moment when they walked into the door inside at the left, the doorknob was freshly painted in bright red.

The bedroom was very fancy and large but also filled with both a sickening and unsettling atmosphere, as it was modeled to appeal to a child, not to mention that every corner was covered in piles of toys, presents and teddy bears. Aoba knew this room very well, and had always hated everything it represented during the days he spent inside the Allmate.

The inside of the room was warm, almost suffocating with all that ash, and the first thing that caught his eyes was the red trail of blood that abruptly ended with the body of a man on the floor. Sei approached the body and looked down at him for a few moments, the man was old but his figure and cleanness reflected a well-preserved vitality that just started to wither little before death. Aoba knew that the man was Toue, and now he was dead.

In a way, this was very anti-climatic, for a villain who started all those world-domination plans and mass brainwashing, and also brought Midorijima to ruin… just to die stabbed behind the scenes like some insignificant insect? Aoba had to admit that he was quite disappointed.

But the worst part was that Mink just stood ominously at the back of the room doing nothing, although it was hardly a mystery that he was the one who killed Toue.

Sei gently held the old man's head, taking their time to grieve. It was a terrible, not the fact that Toue was dead — _nobody liked the guy_ —, but the fact that Sei was genuinely grieving for him despite the things he did. It was something hard to understand.

Mink seemed to be ignoring the scene, as his distant gaze was locked to the room's windows, nothing but a black void to be seen from there. The man was the source of that terrible burnt scent, as if the man himself had been set on fire, he exuded uncomfortable warmth. He was up going to _do it_ now. Aoba had known this ever since he had access to Mink's memories, and even though many things happened, he felt that he wouldn't be able to leave this whole problem behind unless he got this out of his chest.

After Sei cut short their grieving for Toue, their hand grabbed their brother's shoulder, stopping him before he even began to walk towards the alienated man, as if knowing Aoba's intentions.

"Aoba, don't—" but he cut them off, yanking his shoulder away from Sei's trembling fingers.

" _Leave us_." he darted his eyes to the bed at the center of the room, where a wheelchair had been prepared. "You can go and retrieve your body, I'll catch up with you at the exit. _Go_ , and don’t you dare turn back."

Sei wouldn't trust him to not do something fucked up after what they were forced to witness just a few minutes ago, and if Aoba was going to put himself in risk again, Sei had every reason to linger in this place. Or at least that’s what he thought.

Surprisingly, Sei complied and grabbed the wheelchair with the body on it and moved to the outside of the room in silence. Aoba guessed his twin would be right outside to spy on them, but who knew?

The older man was standing in front of that window looking at nothingness, he was interned in his personal hell all over again. He had pushed himself too far, but Aoba would be able to get through him with no problem.

Mink’s reality was made of ash, fire and burnt blood. Aoba could remember this place despite being the first time coming in here.

“Oi.” Aoba called, the power inside his voice forced the man to pay attention to him. Mink turned his head, moving for the first time since he was found.

His drained face was stained with fresh red as his left hand held a large knife; they were both no strangers to murder anymore, yet the only thing that made each other different was the fact that the light had left Mink’s eyes. Mink simply sighed and frowned lightly upon recognizing Aoba, the one and only. "I'm tired, so just tell me what you want." Mink said, his voice was so empty.

Aoba realized that he needed to let it all out, and he needed to be quick. He took a deep breath, effortlessly taking in the fumes of the imaginary fire around them. Hatred and passion took form of words that had lingered in his mind for way too long.

"Okay, let's just get things straight: I remember what you did. You almost got Aoba gang raped months ago and you raped Aoba repeatedly in a different world. I kinda let it get over my head and decided that it'd be great if I made you suffer for it a little bit."

Those careless words came out more bluntly than preferable, but it felt good. It was like the residual pain of taking out a thorn from his finger after being stuck for a long time. Mink barely budged though, he even twisted one small corner of his mouth to a pathetic empty smirk. It chilled him inexplicably to see that, and his chest felt heavy and tight all of sudden, conflicting with that wish of seeing this man break apart.

"Is this why you've been following me around from the start? To drive me into killing myself for what I did to you in another world?"

Aoba groaned in annoyance. "Haven't you paid attention to anything I’ve ever said to you? It's not that I didn't know you'd end up doing it anyways for your own reasons. I was simply forcefully drawn to you for the connection you made with _other me_ , and I wasn’t given any other choice but to soak up those memories like a sponge. Naturally, I got a kick out of seeing you struggle with yourself, even though you’d mostly blame it on me. Hell, maybe I’m partly to blame for letting that happen!"

"—Are you done? I'd rather to be left alone."

"Fuck, you seriously piss me off." Aoba murmured, he also realized in silent dread that his words were about to break out like a cascade, and it wasn’t in him to lie about what he truly felt. It was exciting and scary at the same time, but also extremely infuriating. "... But you know what is the thing that fucking pisses me off the most? It's the fact that _Aoba_ forgives you for that."

And he smiled when Mink’s own half-assed smirk disappeared, and this is how he knew that Mink’s biggest fears came true. Part of Aoba was bubbling with both wrath and relief, however he could still feel that beast circling inside the small cage within his mind… growing restless and aware of its own prison.

"… Maybe I'm not the same person that you tried to kill in that universe, but I still have all those memories and why they happened. And I can relate to what my version of that universe felt about you." he continued talking, trying to keep the rabid dog inside; the only way to get through this without going crazy was to keep talking while Mink’s frown showed his distress as he was forced to listen. "… You know? Everyone likes _Aoba_ , but they liked the version who wasn't _really_ me; I was forgotten and ignored for years, until you found me. _You noticed me_. You were the first person who actually wanted to meet me... and of course, the story ended with you thinking of me as some sort of demon like _The Exorcist_ or some shit, but that was still a pretty big deal to me! So you can take it however you want but in the end I'll never forget what you did for me or how much it meant to me. But I don’t know, maybe I’m just _that_ fucked up."

"I know." The hoarse voice of Mink gave away his disappointment. "And I don't even want to apologize… No, it's more like, _I can't_. It's impossible to apologize for doing such a terrible thing. For the longest time I thought that the only fair thing I could do was to die after getting my revenge. I can’t ever compensate for what I did to you, Aoba."

The walls inside his head were shaking, but he heard Mink right: this was the first time he ever addressed him by his own name.

Aoba reached into his bag, remembering that the gun still had two bullets left. He held it by the barrel so Mink could grab it by the grip. The bigger man just looked down at the instrument in disbelief.

"Here. Figured a bullet to your head will be less painful than a knife, but it's none of my business how you decide to do it."

For one second, the bloody hand of that man tried to reach it, but then Mink grunted as he stepped back, keeping his hand to himself. Mink seemed to have recovered some fire in his eyes at the moment their gazes met again. Mink shook his head. "No. You won’t have this satisfaction."

Aoba grinned as he took back the small weapon. “We’re trapped inside your mind, asshole, and only you can give me the way out. You either have to die now or walk out of this place with me.”

It wasn’t like he wanted to corner Mink this time, but he was true about what he said, that’s how Scrap usually worked anyways. Once they were outside of this place, Mink go away. But maybe this wasn’t what Aoba wanted at all; of course, probably Reason would have wanted to prevent that man’s suicide, but they literally belonged to different worlds and they wouldn’t be able to understand each other at this point. It’d be crueler to just deny Mink the thing that he wanted the most.

“… Before we leave, there’s a place that I need to show you.” Mink mentioned in quiet voice, as if he suddenly remembered it.

 _What a timely moment for that! What could it be? Maybe a secret final boss for this survival horror bullshit? Or perhaps something worthwhile for all the crap they were all forced to put up with?_ Aoba could only guess _._

Something else came up as the illusion of fire started to fade away, like a low animal groaning, and Aoba’s alertness heightened as his hand reached back to the gun in his bag. Obviously Mink had noticed too that they weren’t alone in this bedroom anymore.

The room was suddenly cool and humid, a vicious growling resonated through the dark corners full of children’s toys. But the growling was also inside his head, it restrained his mind with big black claws.

They were still inside Scrap. Now he dragged Mink into his and much to Aoba’s dismay, they couldn’t escape. The fear from that time took hold of him again as the room was covered by thick shadows and the deathly breath of a beast blew on his face again. It represented the moment in which his existence was threatened.

 _Surely Sei would come! If Sei was still around, then they could save him again!_ However, the oppressive shadow kept on growing and growing, becoming more hideous and terrifying to his eyes without the interference of Sei. _What was taking Sei so damn long to interfere?_

He faced a giant creature, a monstrosity that couldn’t decide if it was dog or man, but its limbs looked like they were rotting black, its mouth was deformed and full of brown teeth and dripping with thick hot drool.

The trap opened and closed when the monster barked at him, but it didn’t resemble any sound a dog or human would make. It was going to lunge at him, bite his head off with one movement at least.

It fiercely charged at him but at the same time a strong pull from behind launched him backwards, far from the beast. Less than a second later, he watched Mink lying on the ground, the monster on top of him while those fangs sank into his skull with great ease, biting and ripping just like a hungry dog would do.

And yet Sei didn’t appear. _Why didn’t Sei show up? Why was Sei allowing this to happen?_

In a newfound rage and boost of violent energy, Aoba picked up the gun again, holding it firmly with both hands and shot the two remaining bullets at the monster while it was distracted on that other man’s corpse.

“… You’re not going to kill me too!”

One of them exploded right in front of the beast’s nose, the other hit its sturdy gray neck, making it fall off Mink. But Aoba didn’t waste time on letting it recover as he ran into it and with all his might kicked the monster’s shoulder, and again kicked it in the head.

He still had the empty weapon on his hand, so, without thinking, he leaned on the creature and started to hit its head with the gun’s grip, gritting his teeth painfully blow after blow.

"Die! Die! DIE! DIE! DIE!"

It felt liberating to scream, the blood was rushing out and he was bleeding more of his own wounds, and hit after hit the body was more deformed and broken; it even let out small pitiful whimpers, but it was too late to stop, no matter how deeply those whimpers would pinch his heart.

He stopped after his hand grew numb and his fingers couldn’t hold the gun anymore. The creature remained cold in the ground like a mass of broken skin and cracked bones bleeding without a sound.

It was so awfully quiet now, even though he was breathing heavily and his body still ached with the pain of his wounds. When he walked towards Mink, he couldn’t find his face anywhere, there was only a basin of flesh. He had to turn away to not stare at him for too long. He couldn’t stand it.

 _What did Mink want to show him anyways?_ The secret would die with him, it seemed.

The scenery started to disappear like languid black smoke when he found the door of the bedroom, supposing that Sei was still there… but they weren’t. Not their body or their vessel, they were both gone.

Could they’ve listened to him in the first place and went ahead to the exit of the Tower? He was still shaken and his limbs felt feeble like sticks. He would have liked to pass out right there on Toue’s office, but he needed to get out of there for the sake of _Aoba_ , if nothing less.

When he found an elevator door at the other side of the broken room and entered, he stopped and sat down. So many times that he tried to escape this place and now it all seemed so painfully simple, even dull. He rubbed the dry blood off his fingers while the passive humming of the uncannily functional elevator was taking him down at great speed, feeling anxious by just feeling the way his hair and clothes were sticking to his moist greasy skin.

He wasn’t whole anymore, he was broken in a way he didn’t like, and he felt dirty in places he didn’t want to be… he was ruined beyond what he could want, and he didn’t have any other person left to blame for this… except…

****

Sei was unconscious for a couple of minutes after their last remaining fragment of consciousness returned to their physical body. Of course, they had to do this when they returned to the exit of Oval Tower, exactly where they told Clear to wait.

Clear had still no replacement for his broken gas mask, but he had calmed down after being out of the influence from the Tower’s bowels. Sei felt glad that they didn’t end up calling him in after all.

As their body had been immobile for quite some time, their limbs were stiff as ever and even the slightest movement of their neck was an exhausting task, but they were used to this sensation of atrophy after years of being put in and out of comma.

Noiz was quickly attended by Clear, and seeing the bruised face of the young man made Sei feel a faint sting of guilt, aware that most of that damage could have been prevented if they were more careful… not to mention that Noiz could lose his sight because of the instance in which they used Scrap to save Aoba… Hopefully, he’d be fine. It was all a matter of waiting and see.

For the first time in days, the silence in the air didn’t feel so uneasy. The gruesome visions of other worlds had finally stopped seeking after their mind, and it was unusually peaceful.

Sei had to sigh softly in relief as they stared up at the Tower that had been their prison for their whole life. _It was finally going to end_. It almost felt like a dream. They had dreamed for so long about death that they couldn’t fully believe that this was real. And this was fine. Sei thought it’d be good to be able to die outside of that prison…

“He’s back!” at Clear’s call, Sei used up much of their strength to look back at the exit, clumsy feet stumbling to the door that separated gray from black. Sei’s heart started beating faster, as fast as their weak body allowed it. Their brother managed to survive and all was good. All was good. He was walking towards them faster with an unusual golden shine in his eyes. Clear and Noiz didn’t know yet.

“Aoba-san…!” Clear spoke, and Noiz opened his eyes, but they were both ignored as Aoba as he violently approached Sei, grabbing their shirt’s collar and dragging their light body off the wheelchair.

It’s not like Sei didn’t predict that their brother would be angry, but as soon as the pain stroke their limbs, they knew something had gone terribly wrong.

Clear was taken by surprise and jumped in ready to help out Sei by leaving Noiz on the floor, but Aoba shot back a furious stare at him, raising his hand to tell him to stop right there.

“Don’t interfere.” Aoba said in grim voice, almost threateningly. Then his eyes met again with Sei, but for some reason he wasn’t afraid of getting hurt by Sei’s eyes. They wouldn’t. Aoba’s teeth were showing as fury and frustration shaped his face. “You could have stayed, Sei. You could have stayed to help me. The fucking dog came back and killed Mink.”

The words shook them, and Sei’s body felt incredibly ill, as if all the warmth from his blood ran down to their toes. Surely, Sei was still upset over Toue’s demise, but they never wished for anyone’s death no matter who… Sei was truly amazed with how easy it was for others to die. Virus, Toue… now Mink, and if Aoba had to fight on his own to survive, then Ren could also be…

“No… Mi-mink-san? No way…!” Clear cried, and Sei empathized with that show of distress. Noiz flinched on the ground and his eyes focused helplessly on the scene, trying to understand what was happening.

Sei swallowed with difficulty, it hurt being handled like that.

“… You told me to leave. I only did what you told me.”

“And I was wrong!” he yelled, he was the one who hurt the most. “I was wrong for telling you that! Are you all about being obedient when you’re not being a manipulative little shit? You’re more than capable to make your own damn decisions!”

“… I didn’t think it’d matter. How could I’ve known?”

And all of sudden, Sei’s fragile face met with a quick sharp clock, knuckles left a hot hint of pain on their cheekbone and they felt dumbfounded for one second. Clear flinched and Aoba rose his fist again but stopped midair as his face was twisted in sheer frustration.

“You’re so stupid! How do you have the nerve to act like it doesn’t matter? As if you hold no responsibility with anything that you put us through in the first place?”

Sei didn’t realize it until now, their body was shaking and taking in the new pain.

“… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Aoba, for not knowing how to disobey.” Their voice was thin and emotionless, hinting at their helplessness and repressed frustration. It wasn’t their fault to be unable to disobey, and that was something Aoba would never be able to understand… _how could he?_

Sei immediately felt their body invaded by a gut-wrenching uncertainty as Aoba slowly pulled them back to their wheelchair, their eyes still brimming with anger. There was something they forgot to ask Aoba about.

He had killed the source of his tragedy, but, was that all?

While Clear still seemed to not know what to do and Noiz was barely getting back his grasp of reality, Sei started to sweat nervously on their back as they noticed that crawling noise coming from the inside of the Tower. Nobody seemed to have noticed yet.

 “… But what are we doing now?” Clear’s cracking voice inquired to anyone who could answer.

“We’re leaving. If I were you, I’d hurry up and find a new arm while I can.” Aoba responded taking in consideration that Clear lost one without knowing exactly how it happened. However, the blunt manner of his words caught the android off guard.

The uncomfortable electricity in their body was running from the back of their head down to their neck. Clear and Aoba were still arguing but Sei was sensing bright soulless eyes on their brother, and the proximity was closing. Only Noiz, who seemed to have fully regained himself noticed Sei’s distress.

 “Aoba…! What happened with Usui?” Sei’s shaky cry voice pleaded.

“What? Usui wasn’t even there, so what’s the issue?”

The open exit door so black and deep, the eyes looked down at him from the darkness, and many pairs of hands pale like bone stretched out their fingers so silently towards their unaware brother. Clear was the closest on to him, but even like that, only one arm wasn’t good enough to prevent what was about to happen.

There were multiple shouts at the time, Clear was the first to run into the darkness in order to save the one who was violently dragged back to the inside of Oval Tower, as he was viciously yelling to his abductor to release him, with every second the echoes of his voice became weaker and Sei was left there helplessly gaping their mouth in utter terror.

Noiz eventually decided to go in there too, despite not knowing the context of what just went down, not even asking for an explanation or approval from Sei. They left Sei all alone.

And so, hours passed, Sei lay there in that wheelchair in the gray stillness, weak and sore of this ordeal, and all the plans unfulfilled. They felt deep regret for not disobeying Aoba, for trusting too much in him and more importantly, for depending too much on the individual judgement of everyone else. They lay there crying bitterly for hours, defeated by the knowledge of their own lacking stamina before even trying to go and find Aoba… they could do nothing.

It got dark. Sei attempted to use their power to regain control on Noiz’s body but it wasn’t working. The same happened when they tried to reach to Mink, only to confirm that the man was indeed dead…

They passed out of exhaustion for what felt like a couple of hours. The air was suddenly humid and stunk, there was some sort of heaviness on their lap and there was a soft distorted sound of whimpering. As the blur came off from their eyes, Sei found out that they were inside a small dark red room.

Their breathing became uneven again, the heart inside their small chest was ready to burst out from their ribs when they found that it was Aoba’s head what was resting on their lap. Their labored breath was warm against their legs but his long hair was damp and it smelled like blood.

Panicking, Sei used up much of their strength to awaken their brother, but they wouldn’t respond; the also resorted to calling out Clear’s name, even Noiz but their voice only reverberated through the thick red walls of the closed room. Only the unfamiliar whimpering noises could be heard from the outside.

Sei pushed their brother aside and tried to move the wheelchair… but immediately realized that they weren’t on a wheelchair anymore, just a regular chair; Aoba fell to the ground with a heavy thud and his battered body could be seen in more detail.

His neck’s skin was swollen and there were some fresh stitches stood out over one long red line. He was barely breathing and his body was visibly shaking in pain. Sei’s face was drenched in sweat as they cried out their brother’s name and every small glimmer of hope that remained was shattered.

And there it was, at the other side of the room. That abhorrent tall figure, seeing them with glass eyes that felt nothing, it stood there uncaring and ignorant of the abominable deeds it committed.

It had so many arms, yet only a pair of them carried something, one big object wrapped in thick cloth, and it was the source of the anguished whimpers. It was alive, and still writhed in confusion for all things new to them, so fragile yet so full of vitality.

Usui’s eyes met again with theirs and now they understood the meaning of it. The sensation of reaching that understanding filled Sei with chills and a scary excitement.

“… Then the cycle repeats itself again.” They murmured, as they forced their legs to balance their skinny body on the floor, averting their eyes from the rest of the room, full of mutilated bodies that resembled their brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so what's going on? The first paragraphs of this End take off from a specific point of End A, because there was a very vital decision taken by Sei that determined the different outcome for End B, and so it'll go on. Basically, the biggest turn here is that Sei's decisions are the ones that actually matter here, which also should explain why is this the first time Sei's POV is being explored. 
> 
> Also, in case that I forgot to mention it: Ends are freaking long. This was originally over 10,000 words long before I did that last-minute editing. I apologize again and also thank you because if somehow you're still reading, then you are an awesome person already.


	30. End C. The Love Of The Suicidal Princess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok this author note is going to be a little long, so bear with me because it's been over 4 months since i last updated this fanfic.
> 
> Writing the last ending has been literally writer block's hell. I couldn't get myself to work on it during this semester because i just couldn't figure out how to comprise everything I needed in one single chapter. I had it written like 2 months ago, but that was on a hurry and it was around that time when I felt like I was writing it just for the sake of finishing it and not because it was ready. 
> 
> So, I ended up erasing a lot of text and ended up rewriting it all over again, which has been a very slow and painful process. Shit, there were days in which writing a 10 word sentence would feel like a great progress! It took some time and patience for me to feel inspired again and be able to write down this chapter. Of course, I'm not going to explain every single thing here. I'm completing an epilogue to give you the last good hints to give some closure to this story, so you don't feel so empty about this end. 
> 
> If you don't want to feel confused, I would recommend you to go back and speed read the last few chapters? It's been a long time after all.
> 
> Anyways, I have also opened a small SM-only blog, because I kinda abandoned my old artblog and ppl were mostly just interested in my dmmd stuff, so feel free to drop by silentmidorijima.tumblr.com, I will post a few last SM illustrations there for your amusement!

—TWO WEEKS EARLIER—

Their body welcomed the medicine like an old friend, however the catheter plugged into their almost transparent skin felt cold, it was always cold no matter what, but they would easily fall asleep despite the cold. Countless days have been spent like this, life seemed like an endless dream-like state inside a painful cage that felt smaller and smaller every day.

It’s been almost a week. They finally calmed down, but the gentle sense of trepidation was constantly lurking outside the door, they even felt it beneath their skin. Hour after hour Sei felt as if those crumps of their soul that had been scattered all over the world had begun to dissolve into things that Sei couldn’t call their own anymore. Few little pieces of their consciousness still maintained their true form, but using only one was already a vexing task and they needed to save up their energy. For the time being, they only planned to watch over Aoba… if _he_ could still be called that. They’d keep watch over him and guide him back to this place.

While the days passed by with unnerving tranquility, and they’d usually spend the lingering hours indulging Toue's need to be heard talking.

The old man smiled, he barely had allowed the isolation around them affect his health, he was incredibly self-sufficient and knew very well how to fill the gaps of spare time they enjoyed now. He was capricious enough to find a way to entertain himself, but sometimes, he just needed to speak when he knew Sei was awake…

“… You took it upon yourself to destroy what I created, yet you lack resolve, and your unwillingness to kill people in the process has only proved to get in the way.” The man’s low voice dragged the words just slightly to provoke.

Sei wasn’t ashamed of their decision of not destroying the Tower just to not kill their brother or anyone else in the process.

There was no shame on having mercy; _still…_

“So many more people are dead because you couldn’t sacrifice a few dozens, Sei. I hope you’ve realized that.”

“… Do you feel better about yourself for calling me out on my decisions? It’s you who decided to keep me alive up to this point. Even now, you’re adamant to kill me.”

“In that aspect, we should agree that we’re both equally unyielding to our cause.”

“I don’t have a cause. I only seek for one thing.”

“Maybe when Aoba-kun comes back, he’ll be able to give one of us what we seek. That is, if Usui doesn’t stop him first.”

Sei had to close their heavy eyelids for one moment, feeling even more antagonized by just hearing that name. Even now, their own heartbeat was the one thing keeping Usui working, but that was the only link they actually had, because Sei wasn’t in control of any of Usui’s actions anymore, and neither was Toue.

“Usui wouldn’t do that, not as long as Usui is part of me.”

“It will. Usui is after all, the part of you that clings to life so viciously.” That ticked a sleepy nerve inside Sei, but they didn’t react at all. “But what will you do if Aoba-kun ends up destroying Usui first? Do you think he’ll destroy you too?”

“He has to.”

For that last matter, Toue managed to sow the seed of doubt. Aoba should come here and destroy them, but what if he didn’t?

That was what Toue was bargaining for, and he seemed awfully secure for someone who decided that he didn’t have to do anything. Even now, he was difficult to understand.

“You won’t live to see the end of your gamble if you don’t abandon Oval Tower. That man, Mink, is coming to kill you.”

“Third time’s the charm, they say.” The old man smiled without a care in the world, and that only managed to annoy Sei further. “Even if I don’t live to see it with my own eyes, I don’t regret my choice of staying. Though corrupted, Usui still follows its ‘instinct’ to keep on living, and no matter what kind of personality it developed, it won’t enter in conflict with that ‘instinct’. At first, when I built Usui, I wanted it to become a vessel of reincarnation, _your_ reincarnation. Of course, throughout the years Usui’s purpose and use changed, but in light of the recent events, it may be possible now; after all, the original drive of Usui was the preservation and creation of life…”

“Humans just have one life, and that life eventually has to end. The fact that there are infinite possibilities of how that life is lived, that’s all you’ll ever have: possibilities.”

“But wouldn’t it be amazing for humans to be able to ‘see’ those possibilities? There are countless plausible outcomes for one single life. In one of them, I’m going to lose my bet, but in another, I’ll be the winner. Perhaps there’s another in which none of this ever happened. But you should know that better than I do, don’t you? You had the power, after all. You were more than capable of using it to derail ‘fate’ and ‘create’ new possibilities in all kinds of subtle manners, and now with the Scrap Simulator, we cannot only ‘see’ those different paths, but Usui can recreate them in this reality, Usui can give them ‘life’. Usui is a God.”

“… Usui has no control over what it does anymore. It seeks life, but also brings death and destruction… Toue, you enabled Usui to only be active during Rhyme, and outside that, it wasn’t programmed to be destructive in any way… You have seen it already, people’s memories started to disappear because of Scrap. I couldn’t destroy memories, but suddenly Usui can do it?” Sei pondered, feeling their chest heavy upon breathing. Toue had lowered his gaze just a little. “… It wasn’t just Tae’s intervention what made Usui the way it is now, was it?… You _did_ something else to it, didn’t you?”

There was no use on trying to get angry at him at this point, but it was rare when Toue could successfully hide something from Sei, and such discovery was provoking raw emotions within them.

“We had Aoba-kun captive for a while, yes? We took our chance and started the process of transferring parts of him inside Usui in order to complete the Scrap Simulator that already had your power implemented.”

Sei was shaking. The shivers were scratching their back and shoulders like sharp nails, but they said nothing.

Nothing would change the course of the following events, and it was their fault. They allowed all of this to happen by doing and saying nothing.

****

Their spirit stiffened when their eyes examined the room outside their old bedroom and prison, feeling a sudden tension when holding on to the wheelchair. Their real body was so incredibly light but seemed to be in decent shape; it wasn’t actually so strange to look at their own body while being conscious outside of it, they grew used to this experience after all these years. Toue did his best to keep them as healthy as possible during those trying days inside the Tower, bitterly awaiting for the day it would all come to an end.

Sei was absent when then Toue was killed, and in a way, they were grateful of being spared from witnessing that. They were still tense, meekly wondering if they should hold any grudge towards Mink for this…

They were supposed to leave. Aoba told them to take the body and go to where Clear was supposed to wait. This was a priority and whatever pending business Aoba had with Mink wasn’t any of Sei’s concern.

… Then _why?_

Why were they so tense? Why couldn’t they move from their bedroom’s door? The body they wore didn’t feel anything, but now the weight of something invisible was bending their knees as they held tightly to the wheelchair’s hand grips. Something from the back of their head was hurting, a sense of foreboding holding them back. It was as if their mind was giving them a strong warning, to reconsider what should they do next.

They _needed_ to obey Aoba and leave immediately.

Slowly, they lifted their head and felt some sort of dull heat coming from the door. Was something burning? But as soon as their eyes looked up at the ceiling of Toue’s quarters they forgot about that warmth; an unnatural blackness spread there and a gentle innocent whimper that seemed contradictory to the unsettling atmosphere. Sei could feel that the shade wielded a crooked form as its glowing eyes stared back, and that’s when dread finally captured Sei’s heart.

A familiar beastly growling could be heard back to their bedroom, and that’s when they understood what was happening on the other side.

Sei rarely ever acted out of an impulse, but their mind kicked them into slamming the door open and running into them. By doing that, Sei left their original body behind, unwatched and at the darkness' mercy. But they didn't have the time to care anymore.

They ran into the fierce encounter manifested through their brother’s consciousness, as it often happened. The monstrous shape of the ‘dog’ was awakened again, so full of fear and despair; it would tear them apart… just like before.

… All of this happened before. Or was about to happen. Sei’s split awareness just warned them about a different outcome in which they left the moment Aoba told them to. And the same happened when they hesitated to use Scrap on Aoba when Virus betrayed them.

They got it all wrong. Aoba’s decisions didn’t have any power in this place; Sei’s decisions did.

In one single second, they ran in between the ferocious beast’s maw and the two men.

“That’s enough!”

They didn’t feel any pain by the time the large bite was misdirected to Sei’s arm, snapping the bone easily, and the monster’s weight and forcefulness trashed Sei into the floor. Their heart was pumping rapidly and felt very scared all of sudden while Aoba was yelling. This was probably the bravest thing Sei had ever done in their life, but that was arguably coward too, since this wasn’t even their real body. but in that moment they realized that the monster’s eyes flickered with shock, slowly letting go of the broken arm, full of such a humane uncertainty.

This left an opening and Sei needed to stop Aoba from doing anything rash again. Sei raised their hand, signaling their brother to stop whatever he planned to do.

“For the love of—! Don’t tell me that this is how you want to die!” He cried, his voice was actually cracking; surely the beast scared him enough to do that, and Mink was speechless.

“Aoba, be quiet.” Sei demanded with unusually stern voice. The monster was still uneasy, ready to turn away and leave, with both arms, Sei cupped the grotesque face of the creature, staring into its yellow eyes. “Look at me. I want you to calm down… Come back to us, please. Remember what you are and come back.”

The monster violently recoiled, crawling away from Sei. They were surprised by this reaction, because they didn’t even use Scrap… or maybe it wasn’t too surprising; it was a being driven by the most horrible and powerful of human emotions.

The shadows of its twisted form began to crumble apart like dry black dirt; beneath that it revealed its true form, or more like the self-perceived form of itself. It was still attached to the image of Sei’s brother… but what other form would he even bear on his own? Of course, this really upset Aoba and he was ready to retaliate for all the suffering he went through, but Sei would pull themselves back together just to stop him…

Sei’s arm—the body owner’s arm— was nearly broken in half and bone was slightly sticking out of the skin, and Aoba noticed this, hesitating to touch Sei; it didn’t hurt at all, even if they knew it was supposed to hurt.

When the beast’s form was completely undone, only a dry whimpering could be heard, the young man was cowering while he covered his face with his dusty hands. It was whispering nonsenses into his palms, but when Sei an Aoba walked slowly to him, he could hear the meaning of his words.

“… All I wanted was to know what was wrong with me, what was missing. But... there’s someone very important who I wanted to save... I-I’m not Ren… I can’t be! I can’t—”

“Here we go again with this bullshit.” Aoba grunted, taking one step further, staggering the tension in the air. “You know what? You’re right: you’re not Ren. Not anymore at least, and that’s why you’re better off dead.”

The shoulders of the thing shaped like their brother were shivering, but one of the dark eyes peeked over the fingers that covered his face.

“… Why can’t you understand?” he uttered. The moment of vulnerability was quickly melting back to the ominously dark persona for what he was so well-known, and that was when Mink was visibly tenser than before. “I only wanted to save him, because he’s more important than anything; that’s all I ever wanted. If you can’t understand, then it’s you who should be dead!”

Aoba stepped back in anticipation, Sei simultaneously approached the dark doppelganger while focusing their will power to assert influence on his mind once more. “Stop! You’ve done enough already!”

But it refused to accept those words. They would only send him into another violent breakdown; Sei was appalled by the strength of the former’s resolve, even overwhelmed. Such power could surely become the death of every man in this room.

That’s when Mink stepped in. He had recovered most of his aloof demeanor, but his powerful stare still made Sei feel conflicted over what just happened. This man was a living dead, but he still had a will power to behold.

“It’s no use.” Mink’s grave voice declared, then he stared back at Aoba. “It’s clear that he won’t give up until he finishes what he started. Besides, if you try to kill him now, he won’t die without at least taking one of us with him.”

Those words set up a spark inside Sei’s mind while they directed their eyes back to the bedroom’s door and then to the quivering thing that wore Aoba’s appearance. This gave them a very dangerous idea.

“… If he wants someone to save so badly, let’s give him that.”

“What are you implying?” Mink questioned.

“My body—my real body—has been snatched by Usui. I’ll be once again his princess in need for saving.”

Both men’s eyes were locked on Sei, and Aoba’s eyes were wide in disbelief, even betrayal. They wouldn’t expect Aoba to understand, but they knew that this was a way to make their improvised plan work and give peace of mind to the poor wretched creature.

“… What do you think you’re doing, Sei?”

Aoba would surely hate them for this.

They stared back at their twin brother and smiled painfully. “This is what I can do with what little power I have left…Take care of yourself, why won’t you?”

“You—!”

Hours ago, Sei would have completely rejected the idea of submitting theirself entirely to Usui, and the thought still scared them, knowing that willingly putting theirself in such a helpless state would give Usui liberty of bending their mind to whatever dark fears they kept under lock… but this was a risk worth taking if it meant giving Ren a piece of redemption and freeing Aoba from that burden.

The second Aoba realized this, it was too late and he was caught off-guard by their power. Sei’s power could only create things, and a thin barrier that could separate those clashing personalities even if just for a little while would put things in motion.

Right after that, Sei’s consciousness faded, abandoning forever the body they appropriated and abused.

In their last coherent thought, Sei pensively realized that this was probably the last time they’d ever see Aoba...

****

When his senses recovered their former place, it felt as if his flesh was forcefully put together with his skin, as if his skin wasn’t his own… the thing that pieced him together was so fragile that it could fall apart at any second. He couldn’t remember his own name at first, but merely the echo of it inside his head gave him a deep feeling of sickness.

The first thing that he realized when his heavy eye lids lifted was the sensation of something cold and sharp resting upon his throat while Mink’s strong hold had him pinned down to the floor. Those were the eyes of someone who tried to conceal his fear.

“Stay still. If you try to do anything funny, I’ll have to use it.” The low timbre in his voice warned him that he was serious. “Do you understand the situation you’re in? Do you know what you’ll do next?”

Mink wasn’t inquiring, but rather pleading him to put those thoughts together… The young man meekly used his eyes to look around as best as he could, but the room was so unfamiliar and dark, he didn’t remember how he got here in the first place.

He realized his head was injured and heavily bandaged and the left side of his face was throbbing furiously; but beyond physical pain, his hands started shaking out of uncertainty while forcing himself to find an answer on his own. He finally spoke with a voice that didn’t feel like his own:

“He is inside of me, is he not? _The other me_. I can feel him fighting, it’s almost as if his hands are clawing against my throat. It hurts to breathe.” It was so painful he thought he’d start crying soon; but Mink suddenly removed the knife from the younger man’s neck and slowly backed away to check on the other body lying close to them.

Little by little, the young man lifted his head and looked at the other body. It was Noiz, and he seemed to be in terrible conditions, his face full of bruises and his arm bent in an unnatural way. He didn’t know how to react, the sight of Noiz lying down with such a broken body made him nauseous.

“He’ll be fine. Walk to that wall, stay where I can see you.” Mink ordered, carefully holding the shoulders of the blond man, examining the gravity of the damage, every few seconds looking back at him, making sure he’d do what he was told. “Tell me what you’re going to do now that you’re here.”

“… I need to find Sei and save them, right? This is what I was meant to do ten months ago, the reason why all of this happened. Everything still seems blurry though… I don’t remember how I got here or why did Noiz end up like… _that_.”

He stood against the wall for a few moments while Mink tried his best to mend the kid’s broken arm with what he found in Aoba’s bag, but Noiz obviously needed a real medic to get that treated, the threat of infection was already imminent due their situation.

The man with the blue hair couldn’t do anything to help… he didn’t even have the nerve of referring to himself by his own name anymore.

… No, that was wrong. That wasn't _his_ name.

He finally figured it out. He wasn’t truly ‘Aoba’ and Mink was aware of it.

It was unbearable, being lucid about this truth; he thought he’d go man again… but he heard Mink talk again as he carried the youth behind his back, wincing slightly by the pain of his own wounds.

The older man ordered him to move and proceeded to carefully escort him back to the stairs until they arrived to a certain floor, where the stillness was accumulated and the sound of their heartbeats were swallowed by the thick atmosphere. Mink said that he intended to show this room to Aoba before leaving the Tower.

It was a laboratory dark and the air felt oily, it hid behind its walls an even darker cramped room that smelled like decomposed meat and boiled water. Before even entering, the young man knew exactly what would they find inside. Mink’s heavy steps halted just before the room’s entrance, looking down at him with spiteful eyes.

“... I’ve played my part, now you’re on your own. Save Sei however you want, do the right thing if you truly have it in you.” he spilled those words with great disbelief, and he couldn’t be blamed for that. “… But heed my words: it won’t change what you did or what you’ve become. It’s not my problem if you can’t cope with that… but if you try to smother _him_ again, I’ll take you out myself.”

He bore a bittersweet grin, the promise stung deep inside. “I know that you would. After all, you made a promise to Granny, didn’t you?”

Mink didn’t react, but he gave a hesitant step into the smaller room where the stench of carnage bloomed.

From what little light they had, they could perfectly see the five tables displayed all across the room… each of them were connected to machines of indiscernible use, but the source of the dreadful scent became evident when they realized that all five tables had a body resting on them.

Mink was pretending to check on Noiz’s arm, deliberately standing outside the room’s entrance, he’s been here before.

From left to right, the five bodies were all different, but at the same time, they all looked familiar. The first one was deeply mutilated from head to toe, as if sliced with several razors hundreds of times until the wounds could reach to the bone… the red gashes still pulsated with warmth. The second body was missing his head, it seemed like it was brutally ripped from its place, but it felt like the body still breathed through the torn windpipe, as it still quivered with pulse. The third was strange, it nearly seemed like it was made of white marble, but it had terrible purple bruises all over his body; he only seemed to be sleeping peacefully. The fourth was the most grotesque of them all because, unlike the others, his four limbs seemed so carefully and deliberately cut into thin perfect white stumps… the body was nothing but a skinny shivering torso.

But then, there was the fifth table. A fifth body. But there was no body there. _How strange, for a moment he could have sworn that there was actually a body on the fifth table._ There was only a bloody trail, still fresh. Whatever it was, it was dragged outside the room not long ago… or could have left on its own. The young man’s hands went stiff, realizing that otherness scratching languidly at his neck and shoulders, but he decided to not mind it. It wasn’t necessary to find the body because he had seen it already.

“None of them are actually dead.” He said with a peaceful voice, knowing that Mink could hear him. “They all felt so much pain, it twisted their minds so much that they’re no longer something that could be called human. And… none of them are actually me. But… you remember at least one of them, don’t you?”

Mink wasn’t willing to talk about it, but it was all in the young man’s tone, he let out a bit of his own regret slip through his own words, not that he was actually any better than Mink, but that was aside the point: he knew exactly what _this_ Mink did to Aoba.

“What about _him_?” he continued, this time referring to Noiz, who was still unconscious. “He felt so much disgust and guilt over what happened and apologized, even though I wasn’t the one that he hurt… I believe that others have done the same to Aoba, but I also want to believe that everyone is sorry. Don’t we… deserve a chance to make things right? Don’t we deserve to live?” his voice broke a little when he asked the question; he noticed Mink’s head tilt. “I know I hardly deserve to live, but would dying make up for the things I’ve done?”

“Some of us can't live with the weight of our sins, because life isn’t a reward no matter how much we suffer through the damage we inflict to others. Some of us don’t find any other choice.”

“I see. Then we’re not as similar as I thought.”

He stopped and breathed in the stunk air, observing a strange rope made up from colored cords hanging from the ceiling, he pulled it to find out they were all different colored plugs. Green. Pink. Red. Blue. Yellow. Five colors for five tables. Each table had those strange machines on top of them… maybe he was supposed to plug them?

Suddenly, the memory flickered on the back of his mind and he reached inside his pant pockets. The sound of the folded piece of paper cracked within his dirty fingers, but inside the pocket, he felt something else, like a tiny metal hidden there, forgotten. But first, he examined the paper.

It was Takatsuki’s handwriting, the note he found next to her.

_Your life has meaning. You are alive because somebody else isn’t anymore. That is the cycle of life and death._

On the other side of the paper, the name of the colors was written in order. He needed to insert those plugs in the order of which body came first. Deep inside, he knew exactly which one happened first and second and third... No ordinary man could possibly know why or how was there an order, but yet he knew, because all of them were _Aoba_. If _Aoba_ knew, then he did too.

There was a clicking sound at the end of the room, like a door unlocking.

While he started to figure how to arrange them and plug them to the machines, he noted Mink’s silence, almost leaving him wondering if he finally walked away, but Mink was still there, holding Noiz. He was tired, and Noiz needed help.

“… You don’t have to follow me from here.” the young man said, walking towards the man again. He just grunted and slowly started to move step by step. But it wasn’t over yet. He took out the small object inside his pocket, a tiny silver key that felt incredibly cold in the palm of his hand. “Wait, I found this on your old base when we were looking for our friends, in your room.”

Unexpectedly, Mink turned his face again and looked at the key. His expression shifted for one moment.

“Why were you keeping something like this?”

“I don’t know. I simply remembered that I still had it. I don’t know if it’s useful or not. Is it?”

He gave the key to Mink, and the man observed it more closely as if he knew what it was for.

“No. It’s useless now.” Mink smiled bitterly, but he seemed less tense now.

For a faint moment, it seemed like he was at peace. The young man watched Mink walk away with Noiz, but he just knew that Mink would somehow try and come back for the sake of Aoba.

Despite everything, he cared...

****

The door that was opened by solving the puzzle of the plugs, the inside was darker, even more cramped than the room with the bodies… it was so strikingly cold, it felt like entering a refrigerator. Also, the gravity inside this blackness was drawing him inwards like a vacuum.  This was home of something that wished to be well-hidden.

He realized as he entered that it was far bigger than he thought, there was a hole in there and it seemed to have been torn open wide enough for a person to enter. When he approached the edge, he could hear a faint whimpering, something he could have heard before but right now he was unsure whether it meant something or not. The black hole kept in drawing him in, and he finally lost balance, but he didn’t feel surprised when he fell into that darkness; somehow, it felt welcoming.

If he reached the bottom, he never realized, the fall was gentle as if the air treated him like a feather, but everything was still so dark, not even the lantern’s weak light could tell him the color of the floor. It was so cold, it was making his skin crawl and his teeth chatter… he couldn’t even find warmth inside his dirty jacket, he could still hear the strange whining sound, echoing through the emptiness surrounding him. It was a small, almost sweet sound, yet he felt completely unnerved by it because he was afraid of knowing exactly what it was.

His light found a new object, from the distance it looked like a strange white bathtub, but the whining didn’t come from it… It was leaking dark-colored water and after getting closer, he realized it stunk like rotten eggs, there was actually some sort of nasty hot vapor coming from the bathtub. Then he saw a face sticking out from the water, it’s pale features he immediately recognized.

“Sei?”

But before reaching out to their sleepy face, they noted the other objects floating above the dark water, slick fleshy bags of a sickly pink, they reeked. Sei wasn’t responding to his call, and now that he looked closer, their face seemed a bit bloated. He touched the bathtub’s border, but he drew back in pain, having burnt his fingers; it was boiling.

Their eyes opened slowly, like black flowers blooming.

The bathtub was moved by long appendages from upside and they easily pulled it up making the boiling contents of the tub to spill out, but the body that was inside, if it wasn’t Sei’s, it looked a lot like it; from the neck and down, there was nothing but a hollowed out human body that was literally falling apart.

And then there was the giant figure that grabbed the bathtub. Its eyes were so unnatural and wide and they kept staring down at him with a dim light shining behind those artificial pupils. It looked like the face of a woman with long dirty hair, but after looking at it a bit longer, he felt unsure. It had the appearance of a mechanical doll that could've looked gorgeous a long time ago, but now it seemed so tragically decayed and the little life that still sparked within it was something heinous.

There was a whining sound coming from that figure, but it shed no expression or source of noise from its mouth. It had multiple limbs sticking out from a feminine shape, two of them seemed to carry something small behind its back, and whatever it was, it kept whimpering softly through the grotesque rust covering the machine-like monstrosity.

The thing’s movements were strange, the mechanical joints were visible and thick oily liquid seeped from them, but all those limbs (he counted eight) moved with the fluidity and precision or a spider as they effortlessly lifted the bathtub again and approached him, threatening to pour the boiling contents over him.

He had to back away as the burning liquid spilt close to his legs, but he hesitated to pull out anything from his bag to defend himself. What if he hurt Sei? What if he made another mistake? He pulled out the crowbar though he knew it’d hardly be helpful, but before he had any time to react, one long limb of the mechanic creature struck his side and the force of the impact sent him flying to the left, making him lose his breath for a few seconds.

He must have been unconscious for half a minute at least, he thought he must’ve broken a rib and the pain was making it difficult to concentrate. He couldn’t get up, he was already breaking in sweat and he couldn’t get up. Before trying to move his arms up, the iron grip of two hands grabbed his shoulders and pulled him up.

His feet couldn’t touch the ground anymore and he felt those horrible hands were about to crush his shoulders. He swung his body with whatever strength he still had and landed one powerful kick to the creature’s face as its rigid features closed to him. The roughness in which he kicked it caused the creature to let go of him, but he fell down into the bathtub.

The contents softened his fall, but he didn’t want to be in there for any second, the gruesome leftovers of the boiled body were sticking to his skin and clothes, they were still hot and Sei’s black eyes were still open, looking at him in dim interest.

“He-help me…!” he gasped, but before even trying to scream, two hands grabbed him by his neck, not tight enough to kill, just to keep him pinned in place. He struggled to keep on breathing as the hands were slowly closing on his arteries; this was deliberate, the creature didn’t intend to kill him, at least not immediately.

He called for help again, but his own eyes closed before Sei’s; his hands tried to reach but there was nothing he could touch. The lack of oxygen in his head was making it hurt and he could hear the vicious pounding inside his skull, painting his vision in red.

And then, everything was black again. There was some sort of comfort in this induced unconsciousness, after being able to feel the pain and hatred of his own soul for far too long, he welcomed the nothingness and it really felt like there was nothing wrong in lingering here forever.

But in this nothingness he started to feel some sort of small gentleness tickling his face with the same lightness of a thread. As if his eyes were opened again, he found himself in front of a pale familiar figure, almost thinking that he was standing in front of a mirror… but he felt his stomach shrink at the sight of the feeble scrawniness of this reflection, the absent-minded brown stare and the thinness of the light blue hair.

It was definitely a different person. “… You’re not Desire. Then you must be…” His heart was startled with the small shine of acknowledgement that came from the other’s eyes when they met.

He could never forget that smile full of pain but also so warm despite the scars it bore. That smile could only be _his_.

“I thought that I’ve lost you back there. I thought that I lost you forever. _Ren_ …” He felt his whole body shudder as the thin hands gently cupped his wet cheeks. “You must have been so lonely. I’m so sorry.”

His whole being could have fallen apart right after those words, his eyes were filled with tears and his hands couldn’t stop shaking because of the unbearable rapture coming from his chest, he thought he’d melt in Aoba’s hands.

And finally, he cried.

“… You can’t apologize! None of this was you fault! It is I who should be apologizing! I did something horrible to you, and not only that, I tried to forget about what I did. I ran away…! I failed to protect you!” His face was so hot it numbed the sensation of Aoba’s hands cupping his cheeks, and he was so teary that he couldn’t make out Aoba’s face anymore. For a moment he thought he was seeing two of them. “I…-I even forgot how bad I wanted to see you again…”

“I’m here now, don’t worry about that.”

In one moment he would have given himself up to an embrace, but he restrained himself. There was the fear that with only one touch he could hurt him all over again; one moment of sheer happiness could destroy everything.

Aoba’s touch was demure, he didn’t realize how were Aoba’s fingers trembling… he was so fragile, like cracked porcelain.

With this realization, he knew that he couldn’t allow himself to stay here anymore. Even if Aoba would want him to stay with all his heart, even if Aoba could forgive him, this wasn’t right… he could hurt him, and he’d do it. It was better to disappear now than staying and sharing all the vile horrors hidden in his memories… he couldn’t let _this_ Aoba know the truth. _This_ Aoba still had a chance at life, as broken as he was.

“… Forgive me for this.”

Heartbreak shimmered in the eyes of his most beloved one as he separated forcefully. For one last time, he tried to convince himself that he was doing the right thing.

The voice of Desire began whispering to him. “Does this mean that you’ll finally leave us alone? Are you done?”

It was hardly surprising that he’s been watching the whole time. He could’ve apologized for wronging him for so long, but the words didn’t come out.

Desire had no reasons to forgive him in any case, and that was fine. There was only one last thing to do.

He turned around and looked into Desire’s eyes, still full of anger but with renewed sharpness and clarity. Desire was now the only one who could truly protect Aoba, he _was_ Aoba too… but _him_ , Restraint? He didn’t have a place in here anymore.

Part of himself still wanted to fight back, he still feared death… but enough was enough.

“… We still have to save Sei.”

“I’m way ahead of you.”

As that sentence sent chills down his spine, his eyes cracked wide open as he realized he was back at the bathtub again, but despite having the mechanical creature’s hands still gripping his throat, his own hands held the crowbar firmly while the other end was settled in the humanoid creature’s jaw, forcefully opened by the piece of iron.

It was more of a machine than it was a monster, but there was definitely something sentient behind that immutable expression in that android face, he could sense it when each other’s eyes connected for one second. They shed pure distress and fear, and he understood that, even if it was only for an instant. It was his responsibility to end this wretched creature's life too.

It only took one rough movement, he pressed his crowbar’s end down and in exchange, it severed the head and the lower jaw of the humanoid in a painful instant… and from its ripped open duct it spilled a watery black liquid over his face. He had to close his eyes and spit whatever fell into his mouth.

Suddenly, the life abandoned the long limbs of the monster, they fell heavily like pieces of disassembled machinery, the clanking loud enough to send echoes to wherever this strange hole should have started and ended.

What remained was only an empty machine, a husk that held a faint resemblance to a human if anything.  

At that moment, he could hear the echo of air passing through the room, it wasn’t absolute silence like it would have been before. There was no more stillness and no more ominous sounds to haunt him. Everything had stopped and at the same time, it was put back in motion.

_It was finally over._

By the time he was out of the shock of executing the monster, he noticed at the other end of the bathtub that Sei was still there, but their body was whole again, limp and pale but didn’t have a single scratch on their body.

This was _their_ real body, it was leaner than their previous manifestations, almost painful to see… Not only that, but they seemed to be holding something against their chest. It was small and wrapped with a dirty old blanket and there was a feeble sweet sobbing coming from it.

Sei lifted their head and there was fear and confusion in their tired eyes. The thing they were carrying in their arms was a newborn infant… this was what Usui held onto and now it was crying softly into Sei’s damp clothes.

It seemed like Sei told him something as their lips were moving, but their voice was so thin and weak that he couldn’t hear them. But his attention was completely directed to their eyes… something was _off_ about the way Sei was looking at him while the child was still crying as loudly as they could.

Sei seemed really distressed about something, shaky murmurs but for some reason he just couldn’t understand…  

“W-what is…?” Sei’s hands trembled with the weight of the child. He sat next to them and put his hands over their fragile white arms to reassure them.

“… It’s a baby, Sei.” That’s right… this was probably the first time they ever get to see one from so close. There were small memories of Aoba seeing parents cradling children in their arms.

“I don’t—how do I…?”

“Hold them like you’re doing now, against your chest… yes, just like that.”

Their eyes stared down at the child, calming down a bit. They murmured words that held no meaning. “I… can end this right… s-still… ” There was the impression that Sei was forcing a smile in their pale face, seemed distressed while looking at the baby, whose cries lessened for a moment.

“Don’t push yourself. First, we must get help and put that child in a safe place—”

Suddenly, something—someone— froze him in place before he could shift from that position, and time stopped for him. It was the same aggressive force that inhabited this body, it felt like it wanted to split him wide open; he didn’t feel physical pain, just a natural force of coercion between two opposites that couldn’t find balance in the same mind anymore.

He looked back at Sei, obviously their attention lost into that feeble child in their arms, there was a disturbing lack of self-awareness in their eyes.

“Sei is not well, what happened to them while they were trapped here?” he spoke addressing Desire while he still could.

Surprisingly, Desire answered. “How should I know? Maybe a bit of Usui’s madness got stuck with them? I don’t really care; the important thing is that we managed to save them and also killed that thing. Although… this is something Sei wanted to happen, they let Usui capture them and torment them for _your_ sake, but I doubt that they planned it to go down like this. They will have to pay for their mistakes…”

“What will _you_ do to them though?”

“I’ll do what I have to do.” Desire replied in monotone voice, the sound of it was tickling under his skin and it felt like it’d gently snap his bones with one sound. “… So, I’m giving you two choices here: you can stay and let me destroy you, or you can walk away and leave all of us alone. I’d personally do the first one, but… I’m tired and feeling unusually kind, and I don’t think I can stomach any more slaughter today, you see?”

He was incredibly straightforward, but more importantly, honest. But the choice was already made minutes ago. He felt his own consciousness trying to drift in the air along with all the vapor and dust particles of the room. It was soothing in a way, and it wasn’t scary.

It didn’t feel like death.

“Any last words?”

“Make Aoba happy, please.”

“… Easier said than done.” 

He closed his eyes and sighed in relief, abandoning himself to the dim light and deep shadows. It really didn’t feel like death.

****

The morning was warm, something he forgot a long time ago how it felt like. It was the sunlight was gliding between the thick clouds, the light was so beautiful and so gentle, and for the next few minutes he thought that he was still dreaming. Many people started to cry when they noticed the sun; he almost did.

In less than an hour, the fog diminished notoriously, he could almost see the end of the mountains surrounding Midorijima. It wasn’t quiet anymore. From the afar, he could have sworn he heard an explosion, but it was still very far…

People were shyly celebrating, as if all of this was a sign that everything was suddenly turning up better, and Mizuki wished to believe it too.

Another hour passed and the salty air of the beach got hotter, and a couple of vans came back from the inner city, probably with the last of the survivors that were still waiting in the Western District with Seragaki Tae.

He almost felt like his heart would stop when he saw inside one of the vans all four of the missing men that Tae had refused to leave behind… plus, there was a fifth person with them, someone he had never seen before and it might be as well more of a corpse than a person. Their hair was thin and black and their skin was so transparent he could see their bones. Was this the one Aoba went back to pick up from the Jail?

Tae was sitting face to face with who seemed to be Aoba; his blue hair was almost entirely dyed brown and his face was heavily bandaged… he was only recognizable because of the dirty jacket he was wearing. Tae’s face was mixed with relief and confusion, but Mizuki didn’t know how to judge it; Aoba was still a complicated issue for him.

Clear was there too, although he was wearing a different bulkier gas mask model… and seemed like he was missing one arm? Although on his lap there was one spare arm that seemed to be robotic… He'd been suspecting that Clear was something like an android for a while, so it wasn't all that surprising, although he still felt worried about Clear's condition.

At Clear’s side, there was Noiz lying asleep, whom they’ve suspected that he went off on his own to follow Aoba, but now because of that, he came back so badly battered; his face was severely bruised and one arm was hastily bandaged, probably broken…

Mink seemed to be mostly fine, a bit beaten, but better than everyone else in the car besides Tae. Yet something about him seemed different, the expression in his eyes made him look like a different person entirely. His arms were carrying something.

There was a sixth person. A baby.

When people started to reunite and ask questions, Tae called out someone who knew the mother of the child, if anyone was related to a woman called Takatsuki Aoi. The child was later handed to the old nurse Hana, who turned out to be the child’s grandmother. The old lady didn’t cry, but she looked so heartbroken when she took the child in her arms…

Nobody knew why the child was found there, it didn’t seem that the guys would know how to answer either… but aside that, the situation was looking up. Mizuki knew it’d be preferable if he didn’t think too much about it if he wanted to remain positive. He so bad wanted to go and ask Clear or question Mink about what did they do, but what difference would it make at this point?

The ships were ready to set sail, every single survivor was counted in and they prioritized the injured; by the time they made sure everyone was on board, two ships turned out to be a little bit too big for the less than a hundred people, a harsh reminder of how many people they’ve lost in this catastrophe.

The engines started running without problem, and finally they left shore. Mizuki stayed in the same ship where they carried the injured, he wanted to keep an eye on Koujaku, but that’d also mean he’d have to encounter Aoba eventually. Mizuki had so many questions left, and even if it sounded completely ridiculous, he knew that Aoba going to Platinum Jail had to be related to how the fog suddenly started to fade away. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but it was too much of a coincidence to be ignored.

Aoba was still heavily injured and tired because of that ordeal, however, Tae put him to rest in a different cabin from that of Koujaku… He laid on a small bed and fell fast asleep as soon as his grandmother finished changing the bandage and his bloodied clothes (God knows really whose blood was that).

It'd take no more than an hour to see the mainland now that the fog was clearing up. The people were boasting in excitement and fear at the same time, not knowing if they should take this new atmosphere for granted, there was some sort of tension in the air… Mizuki felt his breathing heavy and suddenly, he started noticing the deathly stench coming from the horizon.

One of the men from Scrap was a look out of the other ship ahead, he started shouting aggressively, making signs to the second ship to slow down. Mizuki could see far beyond the white shapes of rescue ships and distant horn was heard coming from them, but most of the passengers weren’t paying attention to them.

Those who were on the ship’s deck started to cough and throw up over the rails, some others started to panic and cry. Mizuki himself felt his stomach turn while his mind was trying to take in the gruesome sight laid before the two surviving ships.

They were hundreds, if not thousands of bloated rotting bodies floating on the sea’s surface along the wreckage of several ships and planes… These were all the people who tried to leave the Midorijima in the past month.

The rescue ships managed to get close to them and transport the passengers first, but everyone would forever be haunted by the countless reeking corpses that rest on the water… Mizuki knew the nightmares were far from over.

****

“… Why did Usui hold on to this baby? Was it programmed to respond to a motherly instinct? Or was it… something else?”

“I have no idea. Dumb luck at best.”

“That can’t possibly be it.”

“No, but I’d rather not to think about it.”

“…What will you do about your sibling? Are you going to carry on their wish?”

“They asked me to _destroy_ them, and just because I’m the only one who can do that, I have to. At least, that’s what Sei thought… I hate that. They’re like, the only person in this world who has ever given me some consideration. But they also forced me into this situation. If only they didn’t reach out for me, I’d have been spared from this mess, you know? It was them who set things in motion. I don’t know if I can forgive them for that.”

“Is that why you won’t do it?”

“No…?  I only destroy things that I hate. That’s what I’ve always done with this power. Sei has caused me so much pain and despair, but I don’t hate them… After all we’ve been through, I can’t do it; maybe this is Sei’s punishment.”

“… One day, they will have the strength to oppose your choice. Will you let your selfish love for them make the rest of their life miserable? Will you force them through the same long suffering they wanted to be freed from in the first place?”

“Who says it has to be that way?”

“… Finding the will to live is not easy, and certainly not for everyone.”

“Well, that’s your opinion, I guess.”

****

This was probably the last time Mink would ever be seen, but he didn’t have the energy or will to stop that man… however, Aoba had the feeling that the man wouldn’t take his own life anytime soon, not after he saw Mink hold that baby in his arms and look down at them with such a distinct and peaceful look on his face. Something about Mink had snapped during that time, and it was probably for the best…

It’s been two days since he woke up inside the unfamiliar hospital room, his grandmother sleeping on a chair beside him. When he asked about Sei, she only said that they put them in a different room and would need lot of time to 'get healthier'. Koujaku wasn’t any better, she said that it was too early to determine if he would ever recover from that back injury. Aoba felt the faint sting of guilt by remembering how much he mistreated Koujaku during those days…

… It was strange to feel guilt. This guilt couldn’t have come from his Reason, because he didn’t know about Koujaku… it wouldn’t be easy to drop the news on him, but he’d have to grow strong again during these hard times.

Later Aoba found out that all the survivors from the ships would be living under quarantine for an entire month, until the authorities determined that they weren’t infected by some sort of biological weapon, which was theorized to be the cause of death of over the 99% of Midorijima’s population. That was an awfully high number, people from the mainland would still be paranoid after the whole month of quarantine… and the survivors couldn’t really tell to the researchers that they’ve been plagued by fog monsters and reality-bending curses, because it would only end up proving _their_ point.

The official version of the Midorijima's incident was that Toue ended up testing biological weapons in one sector of the island and it backfired catastrophically, creating the unnatural fog all over the island and driving its people mad, causing those who attempted to escape to wreck their vessels… it kinda made sense. Kinda. The fog had made it impossible for outer planes and ships to get near the island, and he heard that even some rescue teams couldn’t get close to Midorijima, that they would pass through the marked zone in their maps but would never encounter signs of land… of course, that part would be cut down from the official versions for the posterity. 

It was a good thing that no outer investigations about Toue indicated anything about his 'son', which meant that Sei would be safe for now; if Sei was safe, then Aoba was too.

One day, his grandmother looked at him dead in the eye and asked what would they do about Sei, and she was fairly concerned about what future had in store for them… Only she knew the truth about Sei and him, only she knew their true involvement in Midorijima’s catastrophe. He had to answer every question she had to his best ability, much to his annoyance.

On the other hand, he had to explain to her that he was the ‘original Aoba’, not that she bought it, and for that he had to reassure her repeatedly that he and the one that she knew and loved were the same person (and that was true!), but it would take some time before his milder personality resurfaced again. It was a bother to tell her everything about his different personalities and how they worked, and he didn’t like her too much either, but he started to feel that actually talking to her was making things easier. He made her swear that she’d never give him that horrible medicine again in exchange of not behaving like a sociopath… it couldn’t be _that_ hard, could it?

A week passed. His injuries have improved and he didn’t want to sleep anymore; he actually tried to approach people just sit close to them until they said ‘hi’ or ‘why are you staring’. He forgot how pathetic his social skills actually were, not that his Reason would do any better.

That reminded him: he hadn’t seen Clear anywhere since he woke up in the hospital. He got to visit Koujaku and Noiz in their recovery—but he wasn’t ready to face Sei again—, Mink probably escaped from the quarantine center and Mizuki had been way to awkward to approach. However, Clear was nowhere to be found.

It was strange, since Clear was apparently very close to Restraint when he was in control. In a sad way, some traces of that feeling of kinship remained within his mind; and not only that: the feelings that Restraint developed towards many people, while only the unconscious reproductions of Aoba’s feelings, they were real. That’s what made Restraint, or Ren so dangerous. It was somewhat unfulfilling to know that everything Ren built around his character was for naught, because outside the crimes he committed, Ren became a person of his own. 

He tried to stop thinking about Ren, otherwise, he'd end up upsetting his Reason again… Not to mention, it was still frightening to think about him and what he represented.

Strangely enough, his recent nightmares weren't really about Ren at all.

Aoba woke up in the middle of the night, covered in sweat. He heard some light footsteps pass through the hallway outside the room. He didn’t know if they were being monitored again by some guard in a hazmat suit at this hour, but he left his bed and opened the room’s door. He watched Mizuki walk away, going to the room where Koujaku slept.

In silence, he followed and when he finally caught up, he saw Mizuki stiff on the chair next to Koujaku’s bed after realizing it was him. Koujaku was awake, and Noiz was standing at the corner of the room, a little less shocked than Mizuki.

They all looked terrible, Aoba grinned bitterly.

“What are you guys doing? Having a sleepover?” He blurted out. The tension lessened just a bit.

Noiz scratched his nose nonchalantly with his good arm, “Do you normally break into other people’s sleepovers?”

“Oi, didn’t you break into my house once?”

Noiz shook his shoulders, he probably shouldn’t have done that with his arm in such a bad condition, but he didn’t flinch. Mizuki seemed to take a deep breath and looked at him.

“Aoba…” but he didn’t have anything to say, words seemed to fail Mizuki. The guy was a mess before they were taken into quarantine, and hearing of the things he saw, it wasn’t a surprise.

Koujaku moved his neck a little bit. “… Heard you lost one ear. Are you okay?”

“Only lost part of it, the scar will look cool though.” Koujaku sighed lightly, he was making an effort to smile. That was so typical of Koujaku, almost saddening; he quickly wondered how much did Koujaku recalled of what happened, and part of himself hoped to pretend long enough that they’d never speak of that ever again.

“Stop trying to act cool.”

“Make me.”

“Hah, feeling a little sassy, aren’t you?”

They made a few more casual exchanges, talking to Koujaku and Noiz put him at ease, he had missed this. Eventually, Mizuki joined in as well, as if he realized that it was okay to talk to him.

The tan man seemed to tense his smirk for a moment, his eyes squinting in faint curiosity. Aoba probably said something weird. But Mizuki eased his expression after observing him for a few seconds, nodding to himself.

“Say, is it really truth? That you don’t remember most of what happened in the last month?”

“… Can’t say that I do. Why is that relevant? Did I do something weird?”

He had to lie. Noiz and Koujaku tensed up a little with Mizuki’s question, and while Aoba didn’t have any control over what Ren did during those days, he had a good idea of how badly he messed with them. It was better to safely play as the amnesiac.

“We made out.” Noiz added nonchalantly. Koujaku would have jumped out of bed if he wasn’t gravely injured. Mizuki cackled.

“You little BRAT! That’s not true! … Is it?”

“Your veins are popping out, old man.”

Mizuki kept on sneering, but tried to calm down his bedridden friend. “Anyways, you DID act weird, sometimes it even felt as if it wasn’t really you. Do you know what I mean?”

“I know. Sorry if I ever made out with you too.”

This was meant to be a serious question, but he still managed to make Mizuki snort comically. They all seemed like they needed the laughter for now.

Everything bad that happened to these men was the collective fault of _Aoba_ , and it was time for those scars to heal, one at a time. They didn't just carry the burden of Midorijima's catastrophe, but also the personal memories of a world where they had to be destroyed by none other than him. Having that knowledge inside him was not something he'd like to dwell into, but it was hard to not think about it while being in their presence. It was strange to feel guilty. Years ago, he wouldn’t have hesitated to destroy their lives just for shits and giggles, but all the different ordeals that he went through wore his spirit down… he was too exhausted to destroy again. Too exhausted to fight back.

… He could get used to this, to not destroy anyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: The Epilogue.


	31. Epilogue. Hidden Truths

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is.  
> It took me months, the worst writer's block I ever had to deal with. Now I'm back, I'm writing a new fanfic too, and I figured that it wouldn't be right to start something else without finishing the other, so I finally pushed myself to fill in the blank spaces and end this for once.
> 
> I want to thank every person who has ever stopped by just to read and even comment on this fanfiction. It means the world to me and I hardly deserve you. Hopefully you'll forgive me for being such a lousy and slow writer, at least I want to let you know that you helped me become a better writer, even if just a little.
> 
> I won't entertain you any longer, please read this fucking long epilogue I've written to close this chapter of my life :)

TAE

Her grandson was still full of secrets, and she didn’t know for sure for how long he’d keep up with his word to not cause any sort of trouble. But she had to give him that his concern over Sei’s well-being was genuine enough to keep his behavior in-check…

Sei’s condition had improved overtime. It’d take less time for them to rehabilitate than Koujaku… that is if Sei truly wanted that in any regard; it wasn’t difficult to feed Sei and they seemed to respond to some physical stimuli, a really good sign and Aoba was much obliged to carry on without her assistance. But despite everything, Sei never talked or gestured any opinion whatsoever though she could always feel their eyes following her every time she entered their room.

… Tae didn’t know if Sei’s heart would be able to survive after all they had to endure. She knew it’d have been a mercy to let Sei die in that island and more than just an inconvenience, it was a burden forced upon Sei’s weakened spirit.

During the second week after installing themselves in the new apartment, she found Aoba curled in fetal position in her room’s bed. He recoiled violently and looked at her with stunned eyes, as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. And then he started crying. She hadn’t seen him cry like that since he was a child, and for some reason, she allowed him to hug her for what seemed like hours, feeling her own chest tighten as she understood his shattered mind less and less.

She tried to ask him before about what happened to him in Oval Tower, but he wouldn’t speak straight. Those were memories that he desperately wanted to rid of his mind… and it was already too much to make him think about them again.

“… I’ve been forsaken in that bed far too long.” He frowned while tears pooled under his eyes. “For a moment, I thought that you were one of them. I-I’m… I’m sorry.”

“You’re home now, Aoba. You’re home and that’s all that matters.” Needless to say, they were actually very far from their ‘home’, but that’s all she could say to comfort him until he fell asleep.

Next morning after that, he reverted back to the cynical personality and she had to make an effort to not question him about it, seeing that each persona had completely different issues to battle on their own…

And it became a thing, sometimes they’d go through days without an incident, but as time passed by, they became more and more frequent. It was something she accustomed herself to live with, something she should have done so many years ago instead of snuffing the abnormalities into her grandson with medication. The reminder of this mistake still burdened her in silence.

Hana, her friend who lost her husband and daughter to Midorijima’s incident, she wasn’t in condition to work on her own now that she had a grandchild to take care of, and she was staying at the house of some of her relatives in the city, however, she said that she could talk to her relatives if she ever needed a job at their restaurant. Tae appreciated the offer, but her own pride was getting in the way from accepting it right away… 

“Don’t be so picky. You know that it’s really tough for old people to get hired for any sort of job anyways.”

She bore his words in mind, and as much as she hated to admit it, he was right... and needless to say, she was the only one who could actually work. As long as Sei needed care and Aoba didn’t have a job, she was much obliged.

 

****

AOBA

He gasped out for breath and his shoulders shivered as he found himself lying on his mattress, his eyes quickly inspecting his own pale hands, opening and closing them to reassure himself that he was awake. Paying no mind to the vigilant black eyes of the one lying on the other bed, he fetched himself a glass overflown with water, drinking it all in one long gulp, almost choking on it.

The shadows were getting longer in the room, the warm trace of the sunlight made it a little bearable, but he hated it when it was nighttime and it was cold… but perhaps that was only the coldness transmitted by his twin’s presence.

He shared this room with Sei, he wanted it that way just to keep watch on them for as long as it took, until Sei could abandon that willing hopelessness in which they were still captive.

For Tae, Sei was just in a state of stupor due extreme psychological trauma, but Sei had been perfectly aware ever since they were allowed to take them out of the quarantine; they barely ever moved or reacted to stimuli, but their eyes would follow him all over the room if Tae wasn’t around, and at first he didn’t mind at all, but now he was growing restless because of it.

Was this Sei’s way to express their regret towards him?

He walked towards Sei, whose eyes were still focused on him, and neared his face close enough to feel his feeble breath on his skin.

“Talk to me.”

This was a demand, not a plea; he had repeated it for days, every time they were all alone. But Sei refused to talk.

He gave up, he was insomniac and would probably browse through the internet in his crappy new Coil until his eyes couldn’t take it anymore.

He fell back asleep faster than he would have wanted to, and that brought him back to the endless layers of nightmarish visions of rust and bone, echoing laments he could only vaguely comprehend and therefore dreading for all the gaps that his own secret fears filled in.

And then he yanked himself violently out of his nightmares, completely sick and tired, yet reluctant to fall back to it. He just couldn’t stand it anymore. Ever since he left Midorijima, he hardly ever got one single peaceful night of dreamless sleep.

What was the worst of all? Sei apparently watched him sleep. It was probably too much to ask them to use whatever power they still had to make it go away… but to just lay there and do nothing while he was thrashing in his sleep?

Was their hatred really that big?

But something was different now. The way their small eyebrows rested, the tension in their thin mouth… and then they spoke:

“… What do you dream about?”

He sighed, that ragged voice was so weak they had to read their lips. “So, you finally decide to speak but just to psychoanalyze me?”

“When you thrash in your sleep, you make it very difficult for me to fall asleep as well.”

“Figures. Still not your problem. I don’t know what kind of little game you want to play now, but I won’t take part of it anymore...” He’d grown tired of it.

“Or maybe those dreams were… _his_?”

They were trying to press a button in him, but he wasn’t willing to give Sei any satisfaction, and less if they were completely wrong. He knew Sei wouldn’t poke around too much if it was about Reason’s problems.

“He doesn’t dream. He can’t dream.” And it was for the best, he forgot to add, but it was unnecessary to say it. The look in Sei’s eyes changed a little bit, as if the words stung in the right place. They took a small breath and turned their face slightly away from him.

Their face was alive with the sheer emotions pulling under their skin; he’d never seen Sei’s own body display that amount of expression.

“… If you can’t tell me anything, then what’s the point, brother? Then why can’t you kill me?”

 ****

NOIZ

The kid’s arm seemed to be improving somewhat, he seemed to want to try to look after himself a little more now that he was on his own again. He had called Aoba before leaving quarantine to meet sometime, because there was something he said he wanted to ‘give back’.

Some personal objects that were confiscated upon arriving to the mainland were returned to the owners after being in quarantine, and by the looks of it, Noiz snatched it away instead of waiting for it to be returned with the rest of their belongings. 

A week passed by, and Noiz knocked at his apartment’s door at night, asking him to come out for a bit. Tae asked who he was while she was on the kitchen, but Noiz just answered ‘It’s just me’, as if he needn’t more justifications. Unsurprisingly, Tae asked him if he wanted to dinner with them, but he refused after thinking for a few seconds. He just wanted to walk for a few minutes, and Aoba decided it’d be good for him to stretch his legs.

Noiz had recovered some color and weight, but he still seemed —felt— broken by the look in his pale green eyes. A world of wordless pain still weighed over him, and Aoba —this Aoba— didn’t know how to comfort him yet. Didn’t even know if he wanted to.

Noiz finally cut the silence short when they turned to a less bright side of the street, taking out of his pocket a beaten blue Coil in the shape of a watch. That was Aoba’s old Coil, but he just stared at it blankly, as it seemed like words hesitated to come out from the kid’s mouth.

“I didn’t want to give you back this at first, but I guess I was too afraid of getting rid of it too.” He said, and with one bandaged finger, he turned on the Coil; its battery was recently charged. It looked exactly the same as always, but there were some unknown files still hanging in his inbox. “Remember the blank pictures that it received a while ago?” He didn’t remember those at all, probably Ren saw them when he was in this body. “… They cleared when I turned it back on. They’re pictures of you.”

Aoba frowned for a second, at first not surprised that he stored selfies in his own Coil, but then after examining Noiz’s grim face, he knew they couldn’t be normal pictures.

He didn’t ask Noiz for the Coil, he just took it and searched through the pictures while having a knot in his stomach. He took a deep breath and looked at each one of the obscene photographs; he did have a feeling that they would be these, but his own mental preparation didn’t spare him from the sudden surge of inner sickness.

It was _him_ indeed, in each one of those pictures. But at the same time, it wasn’t _him_ either. They were merely shadows, manikins of every possible outcome Aoba had in different worlds with different choices and different people. Someone must’ve taken these pictures in _that room_ at Oval Tower, but why?

He kinda wished Noiz didn’t have to see them. No matter how edgy and broken, he was still just a kid. 

Noiz probably noticed him looking back, and he shrugged off the pity.

“Don’t worry, I’ve seen that room before; Mink carried me there when he guided you to that place. … Well, that one wasn’t really _you_ , yes?”

He sighed, closing the Coil, deciding whether he’d throw it at the garbage can or dismantle it. “So you know the truth. I’m not _your_ Aoba. Not the one you thought anyway.” A weight has been lifted.

Noiz shook his head “It doesn’t mean anything.”

“… What?”

For a moment, Noiz seemed troubled and his eyes nervously darting around...

“I’ve been through hell just for you. I was mostly drawn to the idea of _you_ before even bothering to know you at all, and whatever I believed, whatever it meant to me, it’s all meaningless because in the end I never truly knew you.”

That was surprisingly mature from him to admit something of such a great magnitude, Aoba thought it must’ve taken him days to come up with that realization. And this wasn’t just about Ren or Reason, but _Aoba_ in general. Maybe he shouldn’t have been so quick as to judge him as a kid.

“All I have left is to actually try this time and then decide whether I like you or not.” Noiz said.

Before he realized, Noiz pulled him closer and pressed his mouth against his, rather clumsily. The old Reason would probably have protested loudly about it, but right now Aoba just went along with it not even bothering to pretend he was surprised.

It was a slow awkward kiss with a lot of unnecessary drool, much like again having the first kiss ever; he basically let Noiz caress his body enough to remember how it was to be this close to someone else without slicing his skin. It was weird to think of it like that, as if accepting hurt and abuse was integral to his perception of affection and satisfaction… In some sense, he still yearned for it.

But this was the real world now.

They slowly pulled away and looked at him pensively. “You’re a terribly sloppy kisser. Less tongue next time.”

“My tongue is the only muscle in my body where I have sensation.”

Oh yeah, he forgot about that.

“Gross.” He stroked Noiz’s hair almost tenderly, and now he could see the real extent of his vulnerability. “You really got issues to work with… but you’ll be fine. I promise.”

 ****

MINK

The day he left, he remembered once more how it felt to be lost. He sat outside of the hospital in the nearest garden and once more remembered the despair of only having himself as the hand in his pocket clung to the small silver key he was given.

Was it fate that the key eventually found its way back to him? He didn’t forget about it back in Scratch’s headquarters, he actually left it behind on purpose because he never intended to use it ever again. The door that it opened stopped being his home long ago… yet, the key was returned to him by the hands of the man who was Death itself… It probably meant nothing, but after that, he started to feel different.

He didn’t spend too long in the hospital for the quarantine, he didn’t want his past to be scrutinized by immigration officials if he could avoid it… but he regretted leaving his men too soon; it was thanks to their hearts and loyalty that they managed to save at least a few people from Toue and Midorijima, those men who followed his orders and then followed their own were the real heroes, not him.

 _No_ … Despite all, he truly did everything he could to keep them safe, and that alone was one of the many proofs that he failed to kill his heart… _How pathetic_.

There was a person behind him.

“I knew I’d find you here, Mink-san… It’s cold outside, aren’t you going to get sick?”

Clear, well, of course he didn’t go into quarantine. They’d sooner dismantle the android than letting him stay inside, and it was a sensible decision of him to keep out. Clear seemed to have had this arm repaired, but he still wore a gas mask and his clothes were merely rags now.

“I’m not going to stay here for too long…”

“… Neither do I.”

“What do you mean?”

Clear seemed to stiffen a little. “My home is back in Midorijima. That’s where I was born, that’s where my grandpa rests and I could… probably try to rebuild some things. The island should be fine to inhabit just in a matter of time.”

The man sighed and looked up to the skies, they were not radiant, but they were blue. He had missed the color blue after weeks of not seeing anything but mist.

“But is that really the reason why you want to go back?”

The android sat next to the man, not close enough to discomfort, but he hunched like a scared child.

“… I can’t stay here. Aoba-san means a lot to me, but… I think I understand it now. I loved him; but I only loved the _thought_ of him. The person he is now, I don’t know if I can sincerely love him as I did ten months ago. Besides—those horrible things that I never did to him, they’re all still here.” Clear’s gloved finger tapped his white-haired scalp. But then, he reached for the straps of his mask, taking it off slowly, as if removing a sticky bandage. His pretty face was strained with human pain. “ _It’s hard_.” He croaked, seemed ready to cry. “Am I bad for wanting to run away from _this_?”

Mink understood, he understood the android perfectly well, and it hurt because of the fact that Aoba was still a significant reason why their lives had changed so much.

“I can’t say that it’s a completely good thing. But if anything, it only proves that you’ve found a need to look after yourself and wish to move on.” He wasn’t sure anymore whether he was talking about Clear or about himself. “I too… still have those memories to haunt me. It feels like dirt on my skin that can’t be washed away. But I need to come in terms with them, and everything else that precedes them.”

Once more, he reached down to the silver key inside his pocket. It was the only copy he kept for the cabin he built some years ago, after escaping Midorijima for the first time. He built the cabin to help himself cope with the loss of everything, but once he finished, he concluded that his heart was dead and revenge was the only thing he had left. Yet, after returning to Midorijima to orchestrate his revenge, he never got rid of the key. He never questioned himself why he still had it, until he consciously hid it away, as if to cut out his only way back home, as if to tell himself that there was turning back from his path.

But Aoba —or whoever that was— gave it back to him.

“I’m going to return to my homeland.” He said.

Clear simply pulled up his face and stared with light in his eyes, they looked hopeful.

“Sorry.” The android’s white brows lowered bashfully and his shoulders tensed a little, while Mink frowned in confusion. “… Can I come with you?”

 ****

KOUJAKU

It’s been three months since that incident. Part of it still felt like it was all just a bad dream and he was still waiting to wake up… But once his arms started to feel sore with the effort of moving his wheelchair, he had to lay his head back and accept all the horrible things he went through.

He had pressed for weeks to get started on physical rehabilitation. Since the spinal injury he suffered, they had been saying that there was hope for him to be able to walk again, but he had rejected again and again the choice of psychological therapy as well; he didn’t need it and nobody could convince him otherwise… He couldn’t trust himself to get through with it without losing his mind again.

Ever since everyone were released from quarantine, he was moved to a different hospital where he had better access to specialized physicians, and over time, he was able to move on his own wheelchair.

During these trying times, he was surrounded by his ever loyal men from Beni-Shigure, despite facing the destruction of what they once were, they decided to stick with him through and through. Of course, he also got the support from Tae and Aoba, but… he knew that there was an unspoken rift between them now. Koujaku still enjoyed the company of the old lady, but Aoba… well, that was a more complex story. Not only that, but now they were taking care of a new family member that he never knew they had —Aoba’s twin—, and the whole issue was covered with very vague and short answers… inevitably, Koujaku felt like he was left out.

Mizuki showed up to the hospital’s gym one day while he was still trying a new routine. Koujaku’s physician encouraged him to take a break, but didn’t force him to stop, as she discovered it was useless to fight against his determination. Mizuki sat down and watched him for a while too while he tried to make his heavy legs move at least one inch.

He finally decided to let the physician lady to help him back to his wheelchair and he casually flirted with her a little, more out of courtesy rather than a reflex. She laughed softly and patted his shoulder as she told him to not push himself too hard next time. Mizuki sneered as he shifted on his chair.

“Haven’t you taken it easy this week?”

“I can’t waste any moment of recovery. I don’t wish to be a burden to my men; I’m still considered their boss, you know?” Koujaku simply shrugged and waved goodbye at his physician at the gym’s exit. “Also, ladies seem to have knack for injured men.”

It wasn’t strange for Mizuki to tease him about his lady-killer habits, but Koujaku would let it slide if it could make his friend feel better; Mizuki’s life didn’t exactly become easier since they arrived to the mainland.

“Lunch?” Mizuki said, looking hopeful.

“Sorry, you’re too late. Tae-san brought an extra if you still want some, but that was because Aoba didn’t show up today.” But that wasn’t just it. “… So, Aoba acted really odd yesterday and naturally, I was worried about how he was holding up, but she only told me that he needed some space.”

Mizuki twisted his mouth in discomfort. “‘Odd’ how?”

“... You know that he’s been acting up a little sassier than usual, says some really unnerving things and… _well_ , he’s been kind of an asshole.” _There, he finally said it_. “But yesterday, he appeared to be a completely different person. He seemed so scared and frail, he could barely talk; he apologized a lot, even if there was no reason for it. Eventually, I just stopped trying to chat with him, because I felt I was just making it worse.”

Just thinking about it, Koujaku’s stomach was tied in a knot and started to feel as anxious as he did during the last days he spent in Midorijima. He still had very vague memories of what happened before his accident, and part of him wasn’t sure he wanted to recall them…

“Everyone is still coping with what just happened. Maybe he had a breakdown.” Mizuki’s expression darkened, he seemed deep in thought.

Mizuki seemed to know something, and it wasn’t a secret that he still had slight discomfort when he was around Aoba, but he wouldn’t share the reason why. He tried asking Mizuki about it once, but he’d just hit around the bush.

“You’re right, but honestly, Aoba has been nothing but an inconsistent mess of a man lately, especially since that mystery twin appeared. I feel like every day I know him less and less.” The words tasted bitter in his tongue, he plucked them outside of his mind without caring. “It’s strange. Before, I would have given up anything just to stay at his side… but now, I just don’t know what I want from him.”

“I feel the same way.” Mizuki sighed. “Can we stop talking about him? Please?”

“… Yeah, sorry about that.” They took a moment and Koujaku stretched his arm muscles as far as he was allowed; Mizuki still seemed tense. “It’s not like I’m not grateful for what everyone has done for me, but I just hate to be forced to sit on my ass all day.”

“What’s with the hurry?”

He stopped for a moment. “… Do you have someone here in the mainland, Mizuki?”

“I have my stepparents, but I haven’t called them yet.”

“I see…” He never asked Mizuki about his own family, but he wouldn’t pry now. “I don’t really have anyone, not besides Tae and Aoba; but seeing how things have changed between us, I’ll try to focus more on my men in Beni-Shigure, help them with whatever they need, and then be on my own for a while.”

“In any case, if you feel like it, let’s hang out some time.”

He didn’t detect it right away, but mentioning his gang may have stung Mizuki. It was hard to imagine how hard it must’ve been for Mizuki to accept the loss of Dry Juice and everything he worked so hard for… Koujaku had been there for him ever since, and he would never have wanted to burden his friend with a debt for gratitude… but right now, Koujaku felt blessed with that support.

It wasn’t hard to rely on someone who clearly cared so much.

It was time to let go of that fear.

“Say… I don’t think I’ll be able to walk for a while, and I wanted to wait until I was ready, but uh… I want to go and visit my mother’s grave. I could, uh, use some company, if you don’t mind.”

Mizuki seemed surprised, and he couldn’t blame his friend for that reaction. Opening up like this wasn’t something Koujaku was used to and it was still uncomfortable.

“Of course.”

 ****

CLEAR

There was someone inside his apartment. He just went out to buy some food, knowing Sei would remain on their bed whether he was absent or not. But there was somebody else inside here, and Tae wouldn’t return until nightfall.

He was surprised to find Clear sitting on the small living room, without the gas mask and clean white clothes, making his whole appearance seem like some sort of gentle ghost. Clear’s pretty face was a sight he’d never get used to. He never got to see it on his own before, but he recalled it from Ren’s memories.

Aoba sighed as he left his grocery bags on the kitchen’s table. “Please don’t tell me Sei opened the door for you, because they never do that. You could probably do better than just breaking into someone else’s home, dumbass.”

The android walked softly on the kitchen, the window at the back was open and Aoba was surprised that none of the neighbors took notice of that.

“… I only came here because I wanted to say goodbye.”

“Ah? What gives?”

For the look on Clear’s face, this would be hard to say. “I think that I need some time off, to figure myself out.” Not that it particularly hurt Aoba in any way… well, these were just one-sided feelings.

“And where do you think you’re going off on your own?”

“I’m not going to be alone.” Clear answered and shook his shoulders. “… I also brought this to you.”

He pulled out of his white coat’s pocket a small leather object with small spikes of metal that immediately caught Aoba’s eye. It was a tiny dog’s collar, the Allmate Ren’s collar. For one second a turmoil of dark feelings made his fingers tremble when he took the collar; it even still had that small glass syringe charm hanging on it.

“Where did you get this?” he muttered, observing the collar, shaken by nostalgia.

“Mink-san found it in Oval Tower… he knew that it was yours, but he forgot to give it back. I thought I’d just come by to deliver it since it must be important to Aoba-san.”

If that man gave it to Clear, it must mean that he was still alive… He didn’t know why, but he felt faintly glad by knowing this. Aoba placed the small collar on the table next to his shopping bag and the sound it made against the table reminded him of the first time he placed it around that old Allmate’s fluffy neck, not acknowledging the meaning of his own actions back then. He had been a very lonely teenager and he found comfort in the virtual company of that dog…

In retrospective, he was the one who made it possible for Ren to exist in the first place. Things didn’t have to turn out like this…

Shutting down that brief sentimentality, he invited Clear to take a seat on his table. “… I bought some prepared meals since cooking is such a pain… Don’t you eat?”

“I do. But you shouldn’t bother, you’d just be wasting your food.”

Clear seemed uncomfortable.

“I’ll just serve myself then.” And so he did, the noodles weren’t better than practically any of his grandma’s cooking, but she really didn’t spend too long in home nowadays. He’d go as far as to say that she hated being home, hated him for all the damage he caused to her and hated herself every time she had to look at Sei in the house.

“…Clear. Don’t you hate me?”

“No! Of course I don’t! I wouldn’t!”

“Don’t you hate the fact that I banished the part of ‘me’ that truly cared about you? I know that Ren really liked you.”

The white android didn’t flinch for a few seconds, his face held an unreadable expression as the tension between them thickened… Aoba wanted him to get angry, not for the desire of starting a fight, but because he knew Clear deserved to be angry.

He wasn’t surprised when Clear did exactly the opposite.

“I couldn’t ever hate you, Aoba-san; of all people, it was _you_ who I wanted to save. I suppose anyone would resent you, but I hopelessly cared about you no matter who was under your skin; I knew it wasn’t right to get attached to… _that one_ , but I allowed _him_ to feel safe with me, and at one point I felt that _he_ deserved to live as much as you did… Unlike everyone else, I didn’t feel terrified by him; I couldn’t sense that ominous air that everyone else did. Or maybe I was just in denial about _him_ being a bad person…”

Resting his elbows on the table, Aoba concealed how he was biting his lower lip upon hearing this. He couldn’t bring himself to be condescending towards Clear anymore. “Most of time Ren truly believed that he did nothing wrong, I think. He probably couldn’t even perceive how much he hurt others because he was too busy trying to convince himself that he was me.”

“… Did he hold on to that until the bitter end?”

“No, not really. It took a lot of beating to make him accept the truth, but honestly, if he didn’t give up, I’d be dead.” He smiled bitterly. “There was simply no room left for him anymore.”

Clear took it oddly well. He kept asking questions, but they ranged from less personal things to the most rudimentary, wanting to know as much about the real Aoba as he could, because he never got a real chance. Whatever, if that gave him peace of mind, he didn’t care.

… They talked for a long while, Clear was actually pretty funny once he got over the creepy staring. When the time came for him to finally say goodbye, he left him with the promise of being friends in the future.

Aoba didn’t mind the idea.

****

SEI

They never truly experienced the difference between night and day, as in their sheltered miserable life they never truly felt the heat of the real sunlight touch their face, artificial light couldn’t compare. But despite being able to finally see the real world, Sei was far from alive at this point. _Oh no_ , they should have died a long time ago…

It didn’t matter what their twin brother felt about them, this cruelty and selfishness wasn't so different from what they lived through. All they had left to fill up their days was to lie motionless on the bed or chair and watch him trash in their sleep. It was amusing in its own way, and Sei didn’t realize it before, but they experienced a faint glint of satisfaction by watching their brother suffer a bit after all the hurt he gave to them.

Aoba jumped out of bed sickly pale and bathed in sweat, his eyes darting at every corner of the bedroom. Sei could only imagine what sort of nightmare filled their brother’s nights.

After he went back to the kitchen and brought a glass of water, he sat silently and deep in thought while waiting for his hands to stop trembling. Occasionally he’d look back at Sei and move his mouth without making a sound.

This time, he truly seemed like he was about to break and Sei parted their lips softly.

“Do you need to talk?” They couldn’t fake comfort, didn’t know how anymore, but their voice was still so weak that it wouldn’t have made a difference.

For a moment, Aoba’s shoulders tensed and the shaking went worse; he wiped the sweat off his face and started to talk in a hoarse tone.

“Before killing Usui, I was hellbent into destroying Ren as well no matter the cost. But trying to kill Usui changed something in me, it made _me_ sick of destroying… Somehow, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t land the final blow. I pulled Ren back to do it for me, because I was too afraid to do it myself.” His nerved were wrecked as he spoke, he didn’t seem to be in his right mind anymore, but Sei understood. There was violence restrained in his voice and he seemed to be on the verge of setting it free. “No, that’s not just it. I stared into Usui’s eyes and I saw… oh god… I-I saw—!”

He couldn’t bring himself to say it with his own words. It’d be bad for him to say it, it’d break something he didn’t want to.

Sei sighed and gathered their words with careful cruelty. “… That day, you and Ren didn’t just kill Usui. It wasn’t my despair alone what transformed Usui into that monster… If I remember correctly, they tried to put parts of _Aoba_ inside Usui; so… what if Ren didn’t—?”

“—SHUT UP.” Before Sei could even register it, strong fingers clutched their throat as his face looked down at him, that face was contorted in pain and anger as they’ve seen months ago.

Sei’s eyes were shining, inviting with quiet anticipation. ‘ _What are you waiting for?_ ’ they said to him as his hand still trembled around their skinny neck. Their heart was beating fast and each breath longed to be the last. It took such a long time to manipulate his anger into this… but…

Pulling out an expression of disgust, Aoba snapped out of it and let go of his twin’s neck with his fingers twitching slightly. Sei gasped deeply upon release, but was left again with crushing hopelessness.

“I’m NOT going to do that.” Aoba answered, a question that needn’t to be made, and then he feel back to his bed, eyes bright as gold were overridden with frustration and hate. “I won’t give you that satisfaction.”

“But you wish you could do it, don’t you?” Sei murmured, allowing themself to fall deep into thought once more. “That day, the thing that changed when you faced Usui, it wasn’t an emotion. What happened was that you developed a _Restraint_ on your own. The loss of your desire to destroy and the pursuit for balance is the Restraint born from the hardships you faced in that place. That Restraint… that’s the only thing keeping you from destroying me, is it not?”

He didn’t answer that, it wasn’t necessary and certainly it wouldn’t make the new edge between them dull if they took this conversation any further.

Sei never expected their relationship of ever being easy given their colliding pursuits, and truthfully, it wasn’t like they were trying anyways. Sei would have been fine by passing away knowing that they loved their brother without actually getting to _know_ him… It would have been fine just to die and be remembered as the tragic twin Aoba never knew he had… Anything would have been better than to burden Aoba like this and agonize in return.

… Sei would keep on wanting death, Aoba would keep on denying them that… but for how long could they keep this going? How long until one of them yielded?

Slipping back to his bedsheets, he curled up giving his back to Sei, but he wouldn’t find rest anytime soon. Tomorrow would be a harsh day too.

“… I didn’t want any of this.” Aoba muttered and the notes in his voice pained Sei beyond words.

Perhaps… they’ve been equally cruel towards their brother. They’ve been so scared of their own brother and the possibility of unrequited love that death seemed like a comforting thought, even though they made Aoba sacrifice so much already. Sei had once wanted him to be happy, but they clearly failed at doing any of that.

It was wrong to torment their brother like this.

“I’m so sorry, Aoba.”

That prayer was set into the dark, and it was heard.

****

—TWO YEARS LATER—

He was tired. His new manager had been working him down to the bone this week at the drug store, but at least the pay was good enough until he finally found a solid job. The few friends he still had were already working and lived on their own while he was still partially dependent on his grandma’s income.

Not to mention that he had to work to support Sei’s care.

Sei had improved largely over the past few months, but not without sacrificing hours of work and sleep, and there were times in which they were impossible to treat, but at least they could walk around the apartment without much restriction now.

Aoba would lately find his twin at home every time after job, either reading one of his grandma’s magazines or playing a videogame in the best of cases. It was a boring life, Sei wasn’t exactly a very dependable person, but otherwise, Aoba would be worried.

When he arrived home, he looked for Sei at the bathroom, gazing upon the mirror intently, not noticing him there for long seconds. Aoba hated to see Sei so immersed in their own reflection, sometimes to the point they would forget that other people were calling them; in its own way, it was creepy, Aoba didn’t know what was in his twin’s mind when they did this.

“Sei…? Oi, don’t scare me like that.” Aoba touched their shoulder softly and then noted that the bathroom’s drawers were left open. Not usually a good sign. “… Let me see your wrists.”

Sei quietly complied, showing off the bandages that they’ve been wearing for weeks now, not because of recent wounds, but to conceal them and not make people more uncomfortable. Fortunately, they were still just little white marks, and Aoba sighed in relief.

He tried to relax a little, Sei was doing fine and there was no need to remain on edge.

There was a small package at the kitchen’s table, it was addressed for Tae and it was obviously from Koujaku. A late birthday present, by the looks of it. He haven’t seen Koujaku for the whole week… the man was always busy.

“Did you receive Koujaku early?”

Sei tilted their head lightly and headed back to the bathroom to observe their reflection, this time lightly touching their black hair, now mid back length.“… Would you allow him to cut my hair?”

“What are you talking about? Did he offer you a haircut?” That was so typical of Koujaku. “Do _you_ want a haircut?”

“I’m not used to let my hair grow. It’s too inconvenient.”

“But you know what’s more inconvenient? Having freaking sensible nerves in our hair.” Aoba wasn’t fond of touching his own hair, still sensible even after all these years. He never had to wonder how was it for Sei, who always seemed to have it cut very short throughout their life. “I always cut it myself, maybe it’s time that I teach you how to do it for you?”

But he stopped talking, reconsidering the thought. Sei was terrible for self-care. That was a REALLY bad idea.

His own self-care was a thing to worry about. He still had to deal with personality swings, even if they were becoming more stable every time, it upset his family and friends, making them worry over things that didn't matter anymore in this world. Noiz would often insist to meet this Other Aoba just to see his reactions over the gross things he liked to do. Aoba would love to indulge him, but honestly, it wasn't the responsible thing to do, and someone had to be The Adult in their messy relationship.

“… I want to go out for a walk.” Sei finally suggested, a request disguised as statement.

It was one of Sei’s favorite things they could do together, and because Sei’s mild agoraphobia didn’t allow them to leave the apartment for prolonged amounts of time without company, Aoba was pretty much the only one who was willing to do this for them. It was still a work in progress.

At the entrance of the building, he encountered his grandma, still old and tired, still powered with rage, but this time she was speaking with another old lady who carried in her arms a little kid.

“Granny, out of work early?” Aoba called and Tae grunted and the other old lady nodded him in return with a gentle smile. “Good evening?”

Tae sighed, slightly upset at his sorry attempt at greeting. “Don’t be rude, you know Hana. You saved her grandchild, remember?”

Did he now?

Sei grasped his hand and held it tightly for one moment, saying nothing at all, but Aoba suddenly started to remember, even if it didn’t please him to do so.

“ _Ahh_ , sorry. I don’t think we’ve seen each other for a while, Hana-san? How are doing?”

The old lady laughed softly, the child in her arms turned his head slightly to meet the strangers, one hand rested close to his little mouth while his light brown eyes examined them with curiosity. There was actually a hint of gold in them, and he thought that it was strange.

“Nice to see you in better spirits, both of you.” Hana said. “This is Rei, he’s a little bit shy but he’s a very smart child.”

It was hard to believe, Aoba couldn’t help but to feel a little bit of pride, seeing the kid he saved grown. Sei’s hand squeezed his harder for some reason, not enough to make him uncomfortable.

“Hello, Rei. It’s nice to meet you again. I’m Aoba and this is my twin Sei.”

The boy blinked as if in acknowledgement of his presence, but quickly snuggled back to the crook of his grandmothers neck.

He stayed to talk a little more with the old lady Hana and Tae, but as Sei grew more and more anxious, so he quickly removed himself from the conversation and told Tae that he’d return in an hour as he walked with Sei a little.

She just shrugged and told them to come back sooner.

That was an awkward exchange, even though he was getting the hang of common courtesy when talking to other people, not to mention that Sei’s constant unease pressed him to end that conversation quick.

Sei walked quietly, a little faster than usual, and finally they rested on the park for quite a bit. It was a little unusual for them to behave like this, and their twin couldn’t help but to worry.

When Sei sat on the park’s bench, Aoba realized that their fingers were trembling slightly.

“Aoba… that child… You didn’t recognize him, did you?”

That was a weird ice-breaker.

“Babies change a lot in the span of two years, so… no, not really. Besides, it’s not like I got to see him more than once.” he answered nonchalantly, but failed to realize what Sei’s source of anxiety. He tried again: “But you had the chance of holding him in your arms, didn’t you?”

It wasn’t so hard to remember, even if so many things happened in Oval Tower, in that dark place, because the most prominent memory his consciousness had at the moment after the final battle was the sight of Sei holding a small crying baby in their skinny arms, right after Ren disappeared forever.

He hadn’t thought about it for such a long time. But why was this affecting Sei so much now?

“What is it?”

Finally, Sei let out a shaky sigh and stared at him with some sort of pathetic smile “… I’m glad that kid is okay after all.”

For a moment, Aoba felt like he was missing out something gravely important, and for some reason now, he was sure that Sei would never speak of it again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I shall leave the rest to your personal interpretation.  
> I can't believe I truly did it. I finished something for once!


End file.
